2. "Mom, I 13 years old, and I want to wear a bra." "impossible." "I want to use sanitary napkins." "Not really." "Didn't my sister start using it when she was 13 years old?" "Shut up, son!"
3. A very old farmer believes that there are immortals in the world. He goes to the temple to worship God every day: Dear God, I have spent most of my life in poverty. Let me win the lottery once. Finally, one day the fairy appeared and said angrily, I beg you, go and buy a lottery ticket first.
4, husband and wife, neither sex life nor divorce, this common phenomenon is called: don't stop if you don't do it!
5. The English teacher asked the students to translate the slogan of KFC: We are right to be a chicken! (Chicken expert), the answers are varied: ① We are right to cook chicken. ② We make the right chicken. We cook chicken on the right. Our chicken is on the right. We are on the right side of the chicken. 6. We are the chickens on the right. ⑦ The chicken is on the right. We cook chickens, right? Shall we cook chicken? Attending right! Let's get started!
6. Me: Wife, do you know that you are my god? Wife: I am your what? Me: You are my formula! Wife: Why? Me: So I can infer you! Tough wife: For what? I'm not your formula! Your sister's formula has been deduced by others! What are you pushing after being interpreted by countless people? Me: Wife, I was wrong. ...
7. After the third grade parent-teacher conference, my sister changed her QQ signature: the parent-teacher conference is the same as the third grade, aiming at destroying family harmony.
8. What would you do if I hugged you? Woman: resist! Man: What would you do if I kissed you? Woman: Resist. Man: If I ... Woman: Is it over? Women's power is limited after all!
9. I broke up with my girlfriend of four years! I got on a double-decker bus in the dark, and sitting next to a beautiful woman didn't interest me! The conductor has come to sell tickets. I thought it was an air-conditioned car, so I handed two. When the conductor saw us, he tore two one-dollar tickets for me. I paused, too lazy to explain, and continued to lean against the window to recall four years of feelings, tears streaming down my face unconsciously! The beauty suddenly spoke: just a dollar, as for it?
10, an alcoholic's work summary: there is a problem: delicious; Cause analysis: wine tastes good; Experience: drinking is good; Rectification measures: drink well; Direction of efforts: drink good wine.
1 1. Recently, a good way to vent and decompress is to go to the toilet. After going to the toilet, I looked ferocious and said to the toilet, "shit for me!" " Then flush the toilet!
12, I just heard a pair of men and women singing in a square: looking for friends, looking for girlfriends, kissing and holding hands, having children tonight ... I never knew there was this version. ...
13, the boss slapped the employee, and the employees in different countries reacted differently. Japanese employee: First of all: Hi! American employee: I called my lawyer immediately. British employee: Call the police with a smile. Russian employee: backhand to Japanese boss. China employees: Roaring on the Internet.
14, it suddenly began to rain in the middle of the night yesterday, with lightning and thunder. It's noisy! My three-and-a-half-year-old son woke up from a beautiful dream, and I thought he would be afraid. I don't want him to sigh, get up slowly, calmly look at the heavy rain outside the window, and with the rumble of thunder, suddenly pose in a cool posture under the illumination of lightning, shouting: "Armored soldiers change!" "
15, February 14 to confess! March 14 confession! Also in April 1 confession! Nima will confess on May 20th! Confession is your period!
16. Today, after arriving at the station by bus, a man suddenly blocked the door and said that his mobile phone was missing, which caused an uproar. At this time, some people say that it is a thief to call a man's mobile phone and see who is ringing on it. A girl took the initiative to borrow her mobile phone and dialed the number of the owner. Suddenly, a man near the car door squeezed out of the car and ran away. The man who lost his mobile phone chased the girl and didn't return it. Suddenly he disappeared, so the girl really lost her mobile phone. ...