1. They say pigs can’t climb trees. I have been unable to refute it. Now I finally found the evidence: “Pu”!

2. If you feel that you are as tired as a dog all day long, then you have a big misunderstanding. Even dogs are not as tired as you.

3. I have been crazy, stupid, persistent, persistent, and in love, but in the end I am still alone.

4. After so many years of marriage, I have never been afraid of my wife, I am just a little scared.

5. If I don’t look handsome, how can I stand up to those who have a crush on me?

6. Other people’s twenties: face-slimming needles, canthus opening, nose padding, fat filling, apple muscles; my own twenties: this one is delicious, that one is delicious.

7. You are as important in my heart as tomorrow’s breakfast. Breakfast can fill my stomach and keep me alive, but you... forget it, I take back what I said before!

8. Sometimes, when others are indifferent to you, it may not be your problem. Maybe they just don’t like ugly people.

9. I had no criteria for choosing a mate before, but until I met you, I told myself that I couldn’t have someone like you.

10. Talk to your parents about the troubles in life, and then you will find that the troubles will increase 100 times.

11. You may not know why there is an advertisement in the middle of the program. It is because the host and guests need to go to the toilet.

12. Don’t blame “beautiful women get old easily and husbands run away easily”, it’s because “you spend too little money and give up the good things”.

13. Now, the only thing I can pick up but can’t put down is chopsticks, and the only thing I can’t get out of is my bed.

14. Why do some people like to show their ankles? Because this may be the thinnest part of their body.

15. Years ago, you said that if I were not married, and if you were not married, we would be together. Five years later, I am still not married, but you are marrying again and again.

16. A good-looking person needs three thousand and one night, but an interesting soul needs a house and a car.

17. Do you love me? If you love me, put me in a white wedding dress, and then use your crazy hands to strip it naked.

18. After my salary was paid, my dad said that since money is tight recently, we should ask your mother to fight the Landlord. Then I agreed, and then I lost all my salary this month.

19. You love to talk sarcastically so much. Could it be that you are the product of Fengyoujing and Qingliangyou?

20. The only reason why I am fat is that my body is too small to accommodate my full personality.

21. Do you know? Making love is just that, mating is a person. Super classic funny sentences that can make people laugh to death

22. I bought a pot of mimosa today. I am not shy about moving it when I go back. I will ask the boss when I go back. The boss said: "Maybe you bought this basin shamelessly."

23. Some people say that finding out that the person you like happens to like you is happier than winning 10 million dollars. I'm different, I still prefer winning 10 million.

24. Others hold hands, but I hold a dog in my hand to see who doesn’t like it and bites it twice.

25. Such ghost stories happen every day in school. Pointing to an empty seat and asking the classmate next to you: "Classmate, is there anyone here?"

26. Now we, What can't go up is your grades, what can't go down is your weight, what you can't pick up and put down is the chopsticks, what you can't get into is the bed.

27. Every time a day passes, I circle it on the calendar. On Saturday, I realized that my days had been marked by ellipses.

28. Your sweetheart will find you wearing a black pepper pizza, strawberry marshmallows on his feet, and a fried chicken drumstick in his hand. You have to wait.

29. In high school, I had enough money to spend but not enough sleep. In college, I had enough money to sleep but not enough money to spend. Now that I am working, I have neither enough money to spend nor enough sleep.

30. My mother asked me why I didn’t come out of the bathroom for so long. I didn’t dare to tell her: I was fascinated by myself when I passed by the mirror.

31. When a boy cheats on a girl, it is called teasing; when a girl cheats on a boy, it is called seduction; when men and women cheat on each other, it is called affection.

32. You can really do a lot of things when you wake up early, such as sleeping again.

33. When I fall down on the street and people around me laugh at me, I get up and fall down a few more times to make them laugh to death.

34. In the same age as flowers, some people grow into roses, some grow into lilies, and you grow into succulents.