First, do a background check before marriage.

The main investigation: whether to bear a huge loan, whether to post bad comments on social platforms, whether to have a criminal record of ambiguous or chatting, or what is happening, transfer records, Taobao records can be checked.

Second, after marriage:

1, performance appraisal

According to the object's emotional management ability (good temper), work ability (self-motivated), housework performance and the degree of child care and other key indicators for assessment.

2. Guide the other party to be familiar with and implement the rules and regulations.

Every company will have corresponding rules and regulations, and HR will definitely give you a document for you to understand and sign during the interview.

Get along with men, too, to guide each other to understand your principles, the bottom line, but also to develop the corresponding reward and punishment system.

Through the establishment of a mechanism-based framework of marriage life, through the establishment of a reasonable framework to guide each other to form a reward and punishment thinking, while maintaining a balanced relationship and mutual restraint.

For example, in this relationship, what are the needs of both parties? It requires the other party to comply with your needs, and you should also be able to comply with his needs.

For example, what can be rewarded for doing? What kind of reward? What you have done, what punishment you will receive, and how to punish you.

After the reward and punishment mechanism is formulated, you must fulfill it and verify your credit. As long as you forgive a man easily once, he will be lucky, then this reward and punishment mechanism will no longer work for him.

When you manage your feelings with HR thinking?

3. Be good at thinking with contingency.

Contingency thinking is a method that emphasizes the variability, adaptability and effectiveness of management environment. In other words, running a marriage cannot be static. But to face changes with a changing attitude and keep pace with the times.

For example, the method used several times before is useful for men; The more you use in the future, the less men will buy, so you should upgrade your methods in time.

During the interview, HR will evaluate the shortcomings and advantages of the other party and make a comprehensive evaluation instead of generalizing.

The same is true with men. You know, a man's shortcomings also include his advantages, and advantages also include shortcomings.

For example, if he is modest and gentle, then he may be more indecisive. On the other hand, he is determined to fight, so maybe * * * is not so strong.

For example, he pays attention to details and may be slow to handle things. Conversely, if he pursues efficiency, he may not be so careful.

Many things have two sides, not to mention people. People sometimes have more than two sides. Learn to evaluate a man with contingency thinking, and you can also evaluate your feelings with contingency thinking.

Fu Seoul once said that before marriage, we should look at shortcomings, and after marriage, we should look at advantages.

Many people are always against each other and look at the advantages before marriage, so it is easy to be blinded by the unique halo effect when they are in love, and all they see are the advantages of each other. Once married, the halo effect disappears, both sides gradually regain their senses and begin to expose their nature. Suddenly I feel that the other party is not good, and all I see are shortcomings, all kinds of picky and dissatisfaction, and it is easy to break up.

In another way, the disadvantages before marriage are different from the advantages after marriage. Be alert to reason before marriage and observe each other's shortcomings. If you can tolerate the worst of each other, it means that two people can get along more smoothly.

When we get married, we will begin to learn to explore each other's advantages with a dominant eye, so that after the passionate period, our feelings will not break, but will be sweeter.

4, understand each other's three views, thinking, behavior patterns and internal needs.

During the interview, many HR will ask you to make a choice through some questions, so as to judge your behavior mode, thinking mode and needs. This is a very critical step in the relationship.

Whether we can understand each other's needs and desires through their behavior patterns, whether we can identify each other's subtext through their words and deeds, and whether we can understand each other's three views and ways of thinking ... These can be understood by getting along with each other at ordinary times, paying more attention and observing, and playing some relaxing games together.

5. Know how to see the essence through the phenomenon.

Many men like to use some superficial rhetoric to cover up the real motives behind their actions. If we know enough about human nature, we will not be easily deceived by appearances.

The man who falls in love with your AA system is either too picky or has a balance in his heart and thinks that you are not worth his effort.

Men who are taciturn are more likely to avoid problems and cold violence. He doesn't like to talk at ordinary times, and he just wants to escape when he meets problems.

A man who quarrels with you, argues with you, never gives in, and doesn't coax you afterwards, on the one hand, is emotionally fragile, on the other hand, he may handle this matter with a victim's thinking.

Men suddenly avoid communicating with you, or your usual interaction mode puts pressure on him, leading to learned helplessness;

Or he has someone in his heart who is more suitable to share his heart than you. Obviously, the person you love deeply is exclusive. It's not that he doesn't want to talk, he just doesn't want to talk to you. This also means that at present, he is vacillating in this relationship.