Degang: There are quite a few people coming.

Yu Qian: Hey, it's all full today.

Degang Guo: I'd like to introduce the famous crosstalk performer sitting next to me.

Yu Qian: I dare not.

Degang Guo: Donkey money.

Yu Qian: Donkey money! Yu!

Yu:? Yes, sloppy fish.

Yu Qian: Mahu still wants donkeys, so, dry ditch.

Degang Guo: Yu Qian. Crosstalk is really good.

Yu Qian: You flatter me.

Degang Guo: I am very happy to return to my hometown to perform.

Yu Qian: Are you at home?

Degang Guo: I've been playing somewhere else some time ago. Long time no see, I feel very confused.

Yu Qian: Competition? What race are you playing against?

Degang Guo: You don't know what our country is doing these days?

Yu Qian: We are hosting the Olympic Games.

Degang Guo: Yes, isn't the Olympic Games a competition?

Yu Qian: Oh, did you go to see the Olympic Games?

Degang Guo: Look! You don't know me?

Yu Qian: No.

Degang Guo: No culture! Don't you usually read newspapers and TV?

Yu Qian: Look, I didn't notice you. What do you do?

Degang Guo: I-I-I'm embarrassed to say that my career is great for fear of scaring you.

Yu Qian: Don't scare me if you speak boldly.

Degang Guo: Then I really said it.

Yu Qian: You said you said.

Degang Guo: I'm a football player! You said this thing, which reason?

Yu Qian: Oh, you are a football player.

Degang Guo: Why don't I sign it for you?

Yu Qian: No need. You are not Beckham. What's the use of asking for your autograph?

Degang Guo: Really? Don't regret it. When I become famous and a star, I won't need it. you

There's nowhere to find me.

Yu Qian: Then I'll often run to bars, and maybe I'll meet you again.

Degang Guo: Yes, you are familiar with life in our circle. Have you ever played football before?

Yu Qian: Who is it? People all over the country know where to find you. The media reports it every day.

Degang Guo: You don't know, do you? Actually, I didn't play football before.

Yu Qian: So what do you do?

Degang Guo: After graduating from junior high school, I worked in a bath center.

Yu Qian: Please wait! Does anyone in the bath center want a child like you? The law doesn't allow it.

Degang Guo: Well, I'm not young. I was 2 1 that year.

Yu Qian: You just graduated from junior high school 2 1.

Degang Guo: Well, you started school at the age of seven, with eight years in primary school and six years in junior high school, which is exactly 265,438+0.

Yu Qian: You have been in school for a long time.

Degang Guo: After working in the bath center for a while, I found a problem.

Yu Qian: What's the problem?

Degang Guo: People who come here are very rich.

Yu Qian: That's true. Ordinary people go to bathhouses.

Degang Guo: They all live in buildings and drive cars. How rich they are! When can I be so rich?

Yu Qian: You can also work hard by yourself.

Degang Guo: At the turning point of my life, I met a noble man.

Yu Qian: Who did you meet?

Degang Guo: Your father?

Yu Qian: Does my father go to that place?

Degang Guo: Not only that, but also our distinguished guests. All ladies can order what they want.

Yu Qian: gnome male-",don't say this.

Degang Guo: Yu Qian's father, Wang's father, this old man-

Yu Qian: Wait a minute! My surname is Yu, and my father's surname is Wang.

Degang Guo: Father?

Yu Qian: Which one? Just one!

Degang Guo: Yu Lao. This old man is really a good man.

Yu Qian: Do good people go to that place?

Degang Guo: That night, after the sauna, the old man went into the massage room, pointed at me and said, Germany.

Gang, Degang, come on, come in and knead it for me.

Yu Qian: Let you pinch?

I also want to know. Is it for a change?

Yu Qian: What a mess!

Degang Guo: When he entered the massage room, he was already lying on the massage chair. I'll hold it for him,

The old man asked me: Degang, I think you are sad all day. If anything bothers you, tell my brother.

Yu Qian: Brother? What a generation this is!

Degang Guo: I said, old man, to tell you the truth, my heart is blocked badly. You see, it's all about living in a building.

Dear car driver, when can I get rich? He said don't worry, I'll give you a finger.

Dao, go and play football!

Yu Qian: Can you get rich by playing football?

Degang Guo: You can't say that. You must have a wrist to make a lot of money. I said, old man, I heard that these football players have been practicing in football schools since childhood, and they may not be successful after practicing for more than ten years. You said I never practiced since I was a child. Is this ok? The old man said you were in charge of that. I'll introduce you to someone, and I promise you can play ball!

Yu Qian: My father is quite capable.

Degang Guo: To say that this old man is efficient, he brought this man to me in a few days.

Yu Qian: Who is it?

Degang Guo: The owner of the football club!

Yu Qian: Still a big shot.

Degang Guo: When the boss saw me, he asked, It's you. Do you want to play football? I said yes, yes, you

I haven't prepared any gifts since we met for the first time, so I'll ask a young lady to press it for you. The boss waved his hand and said, no.

Yu Qian: Very decent.

Degang Guo: Just finished ironing.

Yu Qian: Hey, you flatter me.

Degang Guo: Tell me about your basic situation. I said, you see, I almost didn't graduate from junior high school, my brain is stupid, and I can't be a white-collar worker or something, so I'm fine and suitable for manual labor. The boss was overjoyed.

Yu Qian: What are you happy about?

Degang Guo: Yo! You graduated from junior high school! Then putting our team aside is the highest education!

Yu Qian: Junior high school is the highest education, and their team is a group of illiterate people.

Degang Guo: I heard that you have been in elementary school and junior high school for fourteen years? I said yes, yes, boss Shen.

After thinking for a while, he said, according to your experience, you are best suited to play as a defender.

Yu Qian: Why?

Degang Guo: You see, all the positions on the field require the highest psychological endurance.

It's a defender. As long as someone scores a goal, the fans will scold you. Poor psychological quality, don't let fans scold and hang themselves?

Yu Qian: That makes sense.

Degang Guo: In this way, I became a player of Li Qiang Club.

Yu Qian: Why is this name so strange?

Degang Guo: This boss used to sell medicine. He specializes in selling medicines.

Yu Qian: No wonder.

Degang Guo: When I arrived at the team, I secretly vowed that I must learn from other teammates and strive to improve my skills.

Yu Qian: You should.

Degang Guo: But after a long time, I found it wasn't like that.

Yu Qian: What's the matter?

Degang Guo: They can't play football either. It's all about money. Let's say the gatekeeper of our team.

Member, 800-degree myopia, went to other places like a blind man. Sometimes people score goals, and he still sets up defense there.

Yu Qian: It's almost like this.

Degang Guo: Our striker is the most capable.

Yu Qian: I can finally play.

Degang Guo: If the opponent doesn't have a goalkeeper, he can score twice in a game.

Yu Qian: You can only score two goals without a goalkeeper? What if there is a goalkeeper?

Degang Guo: It makes no difference whether he goes up or down with the goalkeeper.

Yu Qian: It's purely a decoration.

Degang Guo: After half a season, I am honored to be the top scorer of our team.

Yu Qian: Hey, aren't you a defender? What, are you the top scorer?

Degang Guo: I scored many own goals.

Yu Qian: Hey, it's useless.

Degang Guo: The coach must come up with a strategy to spy on me.

Yu Qian: You are much more threatening than the square striker.

Degang Guo: Before every game, the opposing players shook hands with me in a friendly way.

Yu Qian: That's right. I count on you to score for them.

Degang Guo: Even so, my teammates still have great feelings for me. On my birthday, the group gave me a present.

Yu Qian: What is it?

Degang Guo: Compass.

Yu Qian: That's the direction that makes you clear about your goals.

Degang Guo: In this way, with the joint efforts of all our teammates, after the season, our team finally-

Yu Qian: I won the championship!

Degang Guo: Downgraded!

Yu Qian: Hello.

Degang Guo: When the boss got angry, he dissolved our team.

Yu Qian: This 250-member team will be dissolved as soon as possible.

Degang Guo: As soon as the team broke up, I lost my job again.

Yu Qian: Do something quickly.

Degang Guo: Just then, the opportunity came!

Yu Qian: What opportunity?

Degang Guo: The Beijing Olympic Games is coming!

Yu Qian: I advise you to get rid of this idea as soon as possible. Those who take part in the Olympic Games are all powerful athletes. You are hopeless!

Degang Guo: That's what you said. Football is different.

Yu Qian: Why is football different? Look at Brazil and Argentina, both big names!

Degang Guo: How do we compete with others? People will bump into several of us when they walk and kick.

Yu Qian: That's true.

Degang Guo: Seeing that the day of the game is getting closer and closer, the president of our Football Association is in a hurry.

Yu Qian: Who is the president of the Football Association?

Degang Guo: This chairman is a legend.

Yu Qian: How about the legendary method?

Degang Guo: Chairman Xie is not only deaf and dumb, but also loves psoas. He also sings some pear-shaped poems from time to time.

Yu Qian: Isn't he dumb? How can he recite poems?

Degang Guo: Otherwise, he is a legend! As long as it is related to the men's soccer team in China, we can't infer that they are a group of freaks by common sense.

Yu Qian: Then what's his hurry?

Degang Guo: Can you take your time? There are so many people playing football in China that I can't find the target.

Yu Qian: Not really.

Degang Guo: Domestic strikers usually kick their own players. They are called "changers". Playing ball with foreign teams, they all became eunuchs and couldn't shoot.

Yu Qian: So there are no strikers playing abroad?

Degang Guo: Don't tell me that there really is a football player named Dong Zhuo in England.

Yu Qian: Dong Zhuo is here? Do you have Lu Bu?

Degang Guo: This Xiaodong is really good, but he is abroad all the year round, and he doesn't know the national conditions at home. He doesn't give gifts to the tour leader, and the coach doesn't want to take him to play.

Yu Qian: Hi!

Degang Guo: Seeing that the days are getting closer and closer, Chairman Xie was so anxious that he scratched his heart and liver and defeated gunpowder with ten catties and twenty catties.

Yu Qian: What's the use of taking medicine alone? Do something quickly.

Degang Guo: Just then, I don't know who showed him my game video. Chairman Xie looked at my goal collection and was ecstatic: This is China's Inzaghi, how capable he is of grasping the chance in front of the goal! I don't celebrate when I score goals, but I am calm, too like a striker!

Yu Qian: Didn't he see it clearly? What you entered was your own goal?

Degang Guo: How did he know?

Yu Qian: The level of this chairman is also inferior.

Degang Guo: As soon as Chairman Xie was happy, he waved his hand and said, "Find this master quickly and let him be the striker of the Olympic team!" !

Yu Qian: Nonsense!

Degang Guo: I asked before I went. The head coach of the Olympic team is a foreigner and may not understand Chinese. I spent time learning several foreign languages.

Yu Qian: Very thoughtful.

Degang Guo: When I got to the national team, I looked everywhere, but I couldn't find the old man.

Yu Qian: Why?

Degang Guo: I also want to know. I asked a teammate: Hey, where is our foreign teacher?

Yu Qian: What did he say?

Degang Guo: Forget it, forget it. We're not allowed to talk about this in the team now. I heard that I was arrested for playing hooligans on female journalists.

Yu Qian: What kind of coach is this? This is ...

Degang Guo: Speaking of which, the day of the competition is coming.

Yu Qian: Yes.

Degang Guo: In the first game, we played in New Zealand, and our whole team was very confident.

Yu Qian: Why?

Degang Guo: This New Zealand team is an amateur team. If you add one piece to the team, there will be two professional players, and the rest will be shoe repairers, banana sellers and fishermen.

Yu Qian: a miscellaneous army

Degang Guo: You said that we should make four or five films anyway.

Yu Qian: Don't blow yet.

Degang Guo: It didn't become like that until I kicked it. These grandchildren play better than us.

Yu Qian: Didn't you say he was an amateur team?

Degang Guo: Yes, who would have thought that amateurs could play so well? Not only is the technique good, but also the physical strength is particularly good.

Yu Qian: What do you mean?

Degang Guo: I stood in their restricted area for 80 minutes, which made me very tired.

Yu Qian: Still standing tired?

Degang Guo: After hanging out with the two defenders for so long, they still have the energy to chat there.

Yu Qian: What are you talking about?

Degang Guo: Third, how is your fruit stand business?

Yu Qian: Saner? Do foreigners also have that name? What did the third son say?

Degang Guo: You're welcome. Business is good. I had to take part in any Olympic Games, but it was postponed.

Yu Qian: The loss is not small.

Degang Guo: When I heard it, I was very angry. How unpatriotic! Look at me. In order to win honor for my country, I haven't been to the sauna for more than a month.

Yu Qian: You are not much better.

Degang Guo: I was going to educate them, but here comes the ball. I'm so happy.

Yu Qian: What are you happy about?

Degang Guo: This is the first time I've got the ball all over the court.

Yu Qian: I'll just stand in front and play.

Degang Guo: I looked up and there were only three children left in front of me.

Yu Qian: What about others?

Degang Guo: The goalkeeper and two other defenders are fighting for the landlord.

Yu Qian: Playing cards!

Degang Guo: If I peck, I can't force myself. I can't beat others. You can only outsmart, not storm.

Yu Qian: Have you thought of any way?

Degang Guo: I shouted at Saner, who was scared to run faster than a rabbit!

Yu Qian: What are you shouting?

Degang Guo: Here comes the chengguan!

Yu Qian: Hey, it seems that the urban management in New Zealand is not very civilized in law enforcement.

Degang Guo: This is an empty door.

Yu Qian: Good opportunity, shoot quickly.

Degang Guo: I aimed at an empty door for three minutes.

Yu Qian: Have you been aiming at an empty door for so long? What kind of footwork do you have? I can kick in.

Degang Guo: Don't you insult our men's soccer players!

Yu Qian: Originally.

Degang Guo: I shot at the empty net and scored!

Yu Qian: If you don't advance, you will be blind.

Degang Guo: Ouch, you have given me beauty now. The teammates were also very excited and all came running.

I was hugged.

Yu Qian: I finally scored. I can't help getting excited.

Degang Guo: Congratulations, Degang. Congratulations. You have to invite me to get the bonus.

Yu Qian: I miss all this.

Degang Guo: Now I'm famous. My name is all over the newspaper and TV. There is not a person walking in the street who doesn't look at me. Everywhere I went, everyone immediately stayed away from me for more than five meters, showing their respect for me.

Yu Qian: That's avoiding you, big guy.

Degang Guo: Before I woke up from joy, the second game began.

Yu Qian: Who were you with in the second scene?

Degang Guo: Belgian. Oh, it's a fierce game, just like a war.

Yu Qian: As for it?

Degang Guo: The Belgian players are so strong that we can't get past the half-court.

Yu Qian: Your level is too poor!

Degang Guo: I am very angry. How dare you be so crazy at our home? I want to teach them a lesson!

Yu Qian: What do you want?

Degang Guo: Before I could do it, one person in our team couldn't hold back.

Yu Qian: Who is it?

Degang Guo: Tan Xiao.

Yu Qian: Who is Tan Xiao?

Degang Guo: Before playing football in Tan Xiao, he spent some time in Songshan Shaolin Temple. After secularization, I miss the old days very much. I often look at the direction of Songshan alone. My name is Tan Wangsong.

Yu Qian: I am also a kung fu master.

Degang Guo: Tan Xiao said that you Belgian players are too overbearing. I will give you some color to see see, if you don't know whose territory this is!

Yu Qian: How is it like society B?

Degang Guo: Tan Xiao stared at the opposing player running towards him and kicked him with a "desperate foot".

Yu Qian: What kind of kung fu is it? Why does it sound so scary?

Degang Guo: The player died immediately. He lay on the ground moaning, and all the other players were scared to death. The referee was frightened, too, and respectfully let Tan laugh and rest.

Yu Qian: You were sent off with a red card! Don't talk about it. What was the result?

Degang Guo: And the result? Hum! Belgium colluded with the referee and beat us shamelessly.

Yu Qian: There are many shameless teams.

Degang Guo: In the last game, we welcomed Brazil.

Yu Qian: Yo, this is a world-class team.

Degang Guo: But we are not afraid.

Yu Qian: That's right. Who were you afraid of before the game?

Degang Guo: On the contrary, the Brazilian team was frightened after watching the video of our match with the Belgian team. I heard that the head coach of Brazil also put forward a slogan specially.

Yu Qian: What's the slogan?

Degang Guo: Only by keeping the ball on your body can you keep the ball on the court.

Yu Qian: This is true.

Degang Guo: The big names in Brazil are very worried, fearing that they will be abolished, which will affect their future careers.

Yu Qian: What should I do?

Degang Guo: Don't tell me that there are people who are not afraid of death.

Yu Qian: Who is it?

Degang Guo: Pato, have you heard of it?

Yu Qian: I have heard of it. People play football in AC Milan.

Degang Guo: Pam is still young. I don't know how dangerous the Jianghu is. Teammates worry about something when they see it. Clap their hands and say, Play with China, I'll go by myself, so you don't have to go! Everyone else was happy to hear that. After a few words, they all went to the bar to drink.

Yu Qian: What happened later?

Degang Guo: When I got to the bar, I turned on the TV. Oh, this Pato is great. The first five minutes 1 1 person scored.

Yu Qian: You 1 1 can't help others by yourself?

Degang Guo: When the Brazilian players saw it, everything was fine. No problem. They turned off the TV and started drinking. An hour and a half later, Pato came back depressed.

Yu Qian: Yo, what's the matter?

Degang Guo: Ronaldinho asked: What's the matter, Atto? I think you played well.

Yu Qian: What did Pato say?

Degang Guo: Hey, forget it, 1: 2 lost. Ronaldinho quickly comforted him: it's okay, brother. Playing 1 to 1 1 is not bad.

Yu Qian: Very good! What did Pato say?

Degang Guo: You don't know, boss. I feel very wronged.

Yu Qian: What are you wronged?

Degang Guo: I just scored, but I was sent off!