Author: Long Hang

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Excessive desire for control is actually a kind of abnormal love, because I want to be loved so much that my movements are deformed that I go to the opposite side and push the other side away.

If you want to make the relationship more harmonious and get true love, you must continue to learn and grow and overcome your desire for control. When you relax, accept and observe the needs of others, you will become a truly attractive person.

Seven ways to overcome the desire for control:

1. Meet the needs of being loved first.

Being loved means that you love yourself, but your heart is empty. If you don't like yourself, how can you really love others? The only thing that can be released from him is the desire to control.

2. Learn to reflect

It is the so-called metacognitive ability. Ask yourself more, is it right to do this? So what should it be? what do you want to do?

3. Experience more life experiences

When you experience more, you will find that impermanence is the normal state of life, and you will accept the uncontrollable factors calmly.

In addition, when your experience increases, you will find that you can't control anyone, and the only thing you can control is yourself.

4. Learn to manage your emotions and behaviors.

When we are anxious about controlling others, don't get angry in a hurry, but stop and stay with our anxiety and insecurity for a while and see what it tells us.

Ask yourself: What are you panicking about? Worried about what? What can you do even if what you expect happens? In fact, nothing happened, everything just came from my imagination.

Step 5 soothe your heart

The opposite of lining is face. You must tell yourself that it is useless to prove yourself. You must put all your attention on your own growth. If the growth comes true, the proof will be completed automatically.

I am an infinite asset that can increase in value. I must try my best to make myself more valuable. This is where I should work hard. Otherwise, if you win a moment's face, you will lose your life.

Richard also refers to his own internal needs, and the only thing that can satisfy him is yourself, not the outside world.

6. You should establish a full sense of security.

In other words, you should make friends with people who feel safe, and then gradually expand your social circle, try to trust others and establish your own safe social circle.

All growth is social activities. Different environments shape different people. If you want to be what kind of person, you must be physically close to him.

7. Personalize inner insecurity

It means imagining him as a villain. When he appears, don't rush to deny it, but hug and comfort him. "Are you afraid again ... the truth is not what you think?" Come on!

Summary:

Suddenly, when the teacher said, "You can accept it, but you can't," I felt very sincere.

Accepting that you can't change is not a sign of weakness, but a mature fear in times of crisis.

Endure what you can't accept, not a sign of cowardice, but a kind of tenacity brought by growth.

Only when you really relax, accept and observe the needs of others and come back can you pay true love.

Come on!