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Circus·Clown

Every night, the clown puts on heavy makeup.

The city lights up the night sky, and the joy in the circus is unbridled and fearless. The clown always puts on a big smiling face. Before his performance starts, and after the circus ends, he sits alone on a high platform with many prop boxes stacked up.

The clown once had a friend. He was just a child at that time. Once, many circuses gathered together to perform. On a lively night, he accidentally fell from the high circus stage. After falling, a sharp stone cut his ankle. The clown grimaced in pain, and tears rolled down one by one.

The audience laughed at his expression. The clown's master grabbed him by the collar and threw him into the utility room.

The clown was sitting in the corner of the utility room, wiping the blood with the corner of his clothes. "Here you go, eat it and it won't hurt anymore." The clown raised his head and saw a little girl in a tutu. There was a small piece of candy in her open palm. She had the most beautiful gray eyes in the world. The pupils, like white swans, appear in the clown's world. That night, the little girl sat next to the clown. She said that she was another apprentice of the circus, and her dream was to dance as a real white swan like the master.

The clown imagined the little girl dancing. It must be more beautiful than the stars, and then his ankle would not hurt so much.

When the clown woke up the next day, he still held the candy given by the little girl in his hand. He was reluctant to eat it and hid it in his box. He took it out and looked at it every day. Many years passed. He never saw the little girl again. When the moon came out, he sat on a high platform made of stacked prop boxes, thinking about his white swan, with thick makeup covering his expression.

Finally one day, the clown master could no longer act, and he became the only clown in the circus. At that time, he had lost sleep, and the white powder covered his dark circles. He remembered the master When leaving, tell him that since he is wearing a mask, he will continue to act with a smile.

The clown performs very hard every day, and the laughter, noise, and cries drown out his loneliness. He floats in the heated hustle and bustle of the night, at a loss for what to do and nowhere to go. The circus was eerie and scary when it fell silent. The clown didn't understand which one was real, the silence after the joy or the bustling heat. He held the faded candy and coaxed the moon to sleep alone.

The days should have repeated like this, and the clown should have been alone until his circus joined a ballet team.

The clown could not forget those gray eyes, his white swan, walking past him gracefully and proudly. The clown held his breath nervously, he was afraid that the white swan would recognize him as funny, There is also a hint of expectation, hoping that the white swan will make a slightly familiar expression.

However, he forgot that neither the current white swan nor the previous little girl had ever seen his face.

Ever since the white swan came to the circus, the clown felt that life had another meaning. He couldn't say what it was, but he just felt that even the night when the dark clouds covered the moon became so beautiful.

The white swan is very popular, her feathers sparkle under the spotlight, she jumps lightly in the center of the stage, step by step, stepping on the heart of the clown who is watching stupidly behind the scenes.

How much the clown wants to tell the white swan that he is the little boy who cut his ankle. How much the clown wants to tell her that she is really more beautiful than the stars when she turns into a white swan. However, every time He held the candy that had faded to no color and looked into the white swan's gray eyes that were so beautiful that he could suffocate. He was afraid that the white swan would see his embarrassed look under his thick makeup. The white swan laughs at his loneliness, so every time at this time, his expression is ferocious and ridiculous. The magician and juggler in the circus, as well as his white swan, will laugh, and the white swan will flash his gray eyes. Looking at him, "Clown, you look so cute." The white swan went to prepare to go on stage, but the clown felt a little out of breath because of this compliment.

One day, the clown prepared a large bouquet of roses and hid in the closet of the White Swan lounge. He did not dare to take a breath, holding the roses as if holding the whole world, waiting for him The white swan, he vaguely heard the footsteps of the white swan, and along with the light steps, there was another set of footsteps, "Beautiful lady, please accept my heart." The magician's voice came in. The clown hugged the rose tightly and looked at the ridiculous pointed shoes on his feet in the closet in bewilderment. "Oh, what beautiful roses, thank you, I like them so much." The white swan said loudly in surprise, "Do you need a bottle to grow them? I remember the audience gave me a vase and asked me to look for it. "The clown lowered his head slightly while listening to the conversation between the white swan and the magician, and the candy in his hand was half melted with sweat.

At night, the clown planted the flowers he prepared under the moon. He sat beside the flowers and felt like he was back at night many years ago.

The clown was still loved by the children, but everyone was tired of seeing the white swan. One day, the clown passed by the leader's tent and said, "It's a bad time now. I have to send someone away, so why not just go for nothing?" Swan, or anyone else who can no longer perform." The clown ran to the white swan's lounge. He couldn't leave his white swan homeless.

When he was hesitating to knock at the door, he caught a glimpse of the magician kissing his white swan affectionately. The clown was at the door, tightly holding the candy in his pocket.

That night, the clown drew a big smile for himself, which was brighter and weirder than his usual smile. He performed hard and spun around on the stage under the spotlight, and there were many people in the audience. One by one, the faces turned into his white swans. He jumped higher and higher and turned faster and faster. Like a moth to a flame, he rushed towards his white swans without caring about his own safety.

With a huge thud, the clown fell to the ground hard. This time, he struggled to stand up and showed a smiling face. He smiled, and many children also laughed, and then, all The audience all laughed. The clown opened his mouth in laughter, but could not laugh out loud. After all, he had never had a voice. He was not sorry, but it was a pity that he had never been able to say thank you to the white swan.

The clown was fired from the circus because of a mistake. Only he knew that it was not a mistake. If he left, the white swan could stay.

He packed up his props, and before leaving, the white swan happened to be dancing on the stage. She is beautiful, more beautiful than the stars, the clown thought, dragging the box with a limp step.

Late at night, he sat next to the roses he planted, took out the candy, put it in his mouth, and then lay gently in the moonlight. Maybe he ate the candy at that time, It would be sweeter, the clown thought, feeling like the sleep he had lost for so many years was coming back to him.

The clown closed his eyes, feeling a little tired.