On the road to success, we can lack anything, but we just can't lack one thing, that is: self-confidence. ?
Self-confidence is definitely not an empty slogan, but a quality that a person who is eager to succeed must have. It must be rooted in the soul, beating and flowing with his heart and blood. ?
American writer Emerson said, "Self-confidence is the first secret of success." Self-confidence is not only an important spiritual pillar of success, if there is no self-confidence, let alone success. To some extent, this is a blasphemy to life. Because, if you don't have confidence and think you can't do anything, what's the point of living? But I think, if God lets you exist, he will definitely give you a reason to exist. This reason needs you to find. Just like life, it is meaningless, but you should find some meaning for life. Therefore, life needs self-confidence. If you want to succeed, you must have self-confidence, self-confidence and pride of "I was born useful". ?
Self-confidence is essential in everything we want to do. Please look at the following set of data:
According to a survey by the American Textile Retailers Association, the initial efforts were not successful, and almost half of the salespeople gave up their efforts:
48% of the salesmen quit when they found 1 people?
25% of salesmen quit after finding two people?
15% of the salesmen found three people and quit?
12% of the salesmen find three people and continue to work, and 80% of the business is done by these salesmen. ?
Gotman, a world-class sales guru, once said, "Sales begin with being rejected". You can't learn to sell unless you accept the rejection. Someone once made an interesting survey, that is, in the United States, Japan, South Korea and Brazil. During the 30-minute negotiation process, the number of times customers or potential customers said "no", that is, the number of times they were rejected was as follows: 2 times in Japan, 5 times in the United States, 7 times in South Korea and 42 times in Brazil. ?
"Self-confidence is the first secret of success." The elevator industry I am engaged in also needs marketing. If you give up after the first promotion is unsuccessful, there will be no performance today. Bacon once said: "The most important talent in life is fearless, followed by fearless, and the third is fearless." ?
At the beginning of the company's establishment, we haven't received orders for more than half a year. During that time, in order to save money, several of us lived by eating instant noodles all day, and at the same time we had extensive contact with business. After more than half a year's efforts, we finally received the first order, and our career has a new starting point. The situation at that time was very difficult, but in that case, we didn't give up. Not giving up means that we have confidence in ourselves and what we are doing. ?
Nick is a dispatcher of a railway company. He is serious and responsible. But he has a shortcoming, that is, he lacks self-confidence, is pessimistic about life, and often looks at the world with negative and skeptical eyes. ?
One day, all the employees in the company rushed to celebrate the boss's birthday, and everyone left in a hurry early. Unfortunately, Nick was accidentally locked in a refrigerated truck to be repaired. In fear, Nick knocked and shouted desperately in the carriage, but the whole company left and no one could hear him. Nick's palm was red and swollen, and his throat was hoarse. He ignored it. Finally, he had to sit on the ground and breathe. The more he thought about it, the more afraid he became, thinking that the temperature in the carriage was only zero, and he would definitely freeze to death if he didn't go out. ?
The next morning, the employees of the company came to work one after another. They opened the car door and found Nick lying on the ground. They sent Nick to first aid, but it was impossible to save his life. But everyone was surprised, because the freezing switch in the refrigerated truck didn't start, and there was enough oxygen in this huge carriage. What's even more puzzling is that it's more than ten degrees straight inside, but Nick froze to death! ?
Nick didn't die at the zero point in the carriage, he died at the freezing point in his heart. He has sentenced himself to death. How can he survive? ?
This is a true story that happened in Africa. ?
Six miners are mining coal deep underground. Suddenly, the mine collapsed, the exit was blocked, and the miners were immediately isolated from the outside world. ?
Everybody, look at me, I look at you, saying nothing. Any one of them can see their situation. With their experience, they realized that the biggest problem they faced was lack of oxygen. If they handle it properly, the underground air can last for more than three hours, up to three and a half hours. ?
People outside must know that they are trapped, but such a serious landslide means that they have to drill again to find them. Can they be saved before the air runs out? These experienced miners decided to make every effort to save oxygen. They agreed to reduce their physical exertion as much as possible, turn off the light they carried with them and lie flat on the ground. ?
"The most important talent in life is fearless first, fearless second and fearless third." Everyone was silent, it was dark all around, and only one person had a watch. It was difficult to estimate the time. ?
Everyone asks this man the question: how long has it been? How long will it take? What time is it now? ?
Time has been lengthened. In their view, 2 minutes is like 1 hour. Every time they hear an answer, they are more desperate. ?
The person in charge of them found that if they continue to be so anxious, their breathing will be more rapid, which will kill them. So, he asked the person wearing the watch to master the time and report it every half hour, and no one else was allowed to ask any more questions. ?
Everyone obeys orders. The first half hour passed, and the man said, "It's been half an hour." Everyone is whispering, and there is a gloomy cloud in the air. ?
People who wear watches find it more and more difficult to inform everyone that the deadline is approaching as time goes by. So he decided without authorization not to let everyone die so painfully. When he told everyone that the second and a half hours came, it was actually 45 minutes. No one noticed what went wrong. Because everyone believes in him. After the first successful lie, the third notice time was extended to one hour. He said, "It's been another half hour." The other five people are calculating how much time is left in their minds. ?
The hands of the watch kept going, and everyone received a time report every hour. People outside accelerated the rescue work. They know where the trapped miners are, and it is difficult for them to rescue them in four hours. ?
After four and a half hours, the most likely situation is to find the bodies of six miners. But they found that five of them were still alive, and only 1 died of suffocation. He is the man wearing a watch. ?
This is the power of self-confidence. If we think and believe that we can go further, then we have a greater chance of success. ?
Self-confidence is a state of mind, and confident people will not become depressed in an instant. People who have no self-confidence usually deny their abilities and give up the chance of success when things happen. ?
So many times, it is not the external environment that defeats you, but your heart. Defeated by yourself, no amount of help from others is in vain. ?
2. Self-confidence can win the trust of others?
Inferiority can only be self-pity and self-confidence to win success. ?
To make others believe in us, we must first believe in ourselves. There are many people who give up their rights in real life and let others' will determine their own lives. They entrust or hand over their studies, career choices and marriage to others, losing their self-pursuit, self-belief and freedom, and finally becoming worthless people. The biggest loss in life is losing self-confidence. ?
Inferiority can only be self-pity and self-confidence to win success. To believe in yourself is to believe in your own advantages, your own abilities and your right to occupy a space. "No one can make you feel ashamed without your consent." ?
A businessman in new york felt pity when he saw a ruler salesman in rags. He threw 1 dollar into the ruler seller's box, ready to walk away, but he thought for a moment, stopped again, took out a ruler from the box and said to the ruler seller, "You and I are both businessmen, but the goods you handle are different. You sell a ruler. " ?
A few months later, at a social occasion, a well-dressed salesman met the new york businessman and introduced himself: "You may not remember me, but I will never forget you. You gave me back my self-esteem and self-confidence. I always felt like a beggar until the day you bought my ruler and told me I was a businessman. " ?
Salespeople always treat themselves as beggars, isn't it because they are not confident? It was from the words of a businessman in new york that the salesman found confidence and started a new life. From this, we can easily see the power of self-confidence. Lack of self-confidence is often the main reason for weak personality and unsuccessful career. ?
Self-confidence is the premise of success. In real life, if you let others point out your shortcomings, I believe you will get many shortcomings. And let others point out your advantages, I believe you will get a lot of praise. ?
A painter sent one of his masterpieces to the art gallery for exhibition. He put a pen in an ingenious way and added, "If the viewer thinks this painting is not good, please mark it." As a result, the picture is full of traces, and there is almost no place to be blamed. A few days later, the painter painted the same painting for exhibition, but this time the postscript was different from last time. He asked people to mark all their favorite wonderful pens. When he retrieved the painting, he saw that the painting was covered with marks again, and all the accused places were replaced by praise marks. ?
"A confident person can turn smallness into greatness and mediocrity into magic." Everyone in the world sees things differently, so never expect everyone's praise. The painter's deeds are a good example. If the painter is depressed after being accused and thinks that he can't do it, he may be depressed and have no confidence to continue his artistic creation. ?
What salesmen and painters do reflects two different ways of thinking, two different mentalities and two different results. The former is a failed mode of thinking, and inferiority and mentality will inevitably produce sad results. The latter is a successful way of thinking, and a confident attitude will inevitably produce successful results. Look at your own strengths and think more about your past successes, and you will be more confident. ?
The former overestimates others and underestimates themselves, without realizing that they have unlimited abilities and possibilities. The more so, the more I can't jump out of my own thinking mode; The more I can't jump out of my own mode of thinking, the more I feel that I can't; If you feel that you can't do it, you must rely on others and be manipulated by others. In this way, every time I fail, my confidence will be hurt. Over time, everything will be done according to other people's views, everything will be manipulated by others, and sad things will follow. The latter, because they look at others and themselves from a correct perspective, will never lose themselves and be manipulated by others under any circumstances. ?
This kind of situation is often encountered in art exhibitions and in real life. The same thing, the same person, will often be handled in different ways, resulting in different results. It is not surprising to think about it carefully, because everyone in the world has different eyes and understands things from different angles. Therefore, we should use the correct way of thinking when meeting, don't completely believe everything we hear and see, and don't despise ourselves and feel inferior because of others' accusations and contempt. ?
This painter is not manipulated by others, confident but not complacent, good at listening to opinions without being influenced by them, persistent but not paranoid, showing the style that a confident person should have. ?
3. Build self-confidence on the basis of creating value?
"Since god gave talent, let it be hired! . "-Li Bai?
To believe in yourself is to believe that we are valuable. This kind of value shows that we can create value for society and others, and society and others also agree with the products and services you provide for them. Only by truly believing in your own value can you give full play to your own value. If you think you are worthless, or the value of being used is very low, then you really can't give full play to your talents, and your great life value will be buried. The result of this is to set a limit for your life, and what you can achieve will never exceed the height you designed for yourself. ?
If you really believe in yourself and believe that you can realize your dreams, you can really step into the smooth road and others will need you more. Once, a depressed manager went to seek the help of Napoleon Hill, a famous American successful scientist. He became penniless because of the bankruptcy of his partner. Napoleon Hill stood him in front of a thick curtain and said to him, "You will see the only person in the world who can restore your confidence and overcome difficulties." What is hidden under the curtain is actually a mirror, so when Napoleon Hill opened the curtain, it was not others but himself who appeared in front of the manager. ?
The manager touched the bearded face with his hand, looked at the people in the mirror from head to toe for a few minutes, lost in thought, thanked Napoleon Hill after a while and left. ?
A few months later, the manager appeared in front of Napoleon Hill again, but he was not a depressed person at that time, but dressed up from head to toe, looking refreshed and confident. He told Napoleon Hill, "I left your office that day just a tramp. I found confidence in the mirror. Now that I have found a job with a good salary, I am sure that my previous success will definitely come again. " ?
Only by believing in your own value can you grasp your own personality and believe that your own value is unique, regardless of how others evaluate you. If you don't trust and respect yourself, you can't complain that others don't trust and respect you In fact, only self-confidence is the most reliable capital for your success. You must not expect the whole world 100% to praise you, because even God is against it, isn't it? Sophia loren, a famous Italian movie star who enjoys a good reputation in the world, can become a world-famous super movie star, which is inseparable from her affirmation of her own value and her self-confidence. ?
In order to survive and love the film industry, 16-year-old Roland came to Rome and wanted to get involved in the film industry here. Unexpectedly, the first audition failed. All the photographers said that she couldn't meet the standard of beauty and complained about her nose and ass. No choice, director carlo Panthu had to call her to the office and suggested that she cut her hips a little and her nose a little shorter. Generally speaking, many actors do what the director says. However, Roland, at an early age, was courageous and opinionated, and refused the other party's request. She said: "Of course I know, because my appearance is very different from those actresses who have become famous. They are all outstanding in appearance and have good features, but I am not. My face has too many problems, but it adds up to more charm. If there is a lump on our nose, I will not hesitate to remove it. But it is unreasonable to say that my nose is too long, because I know that the nose is the main part of the face, and it is the nose that makes the face have characteristics. I like the way my nose and face look. To tell the truth, my face is really different, but why should it look like others? " ?
"I want to keep my true colors and I don't want to change anything." ?
"I am willing to remain true." ?
As long as a person has self-confidence, then he can become what he wants to be. It is because of Roland's insistence that director Carlo Pantu re-examined, really understood sophia loren, and began to understand and appreciate her. ?
Roland didn't listen to the photographer, didn't give up her personality to cater to others, and didn't lose confidence because of others, so she was able to fully show her unique beauty in the film. And her unique appearance and warm, cheerful and unrestrained temperament began to be recognized by people. Later, Two Women, starring her, was a great success and won the Oscar for Best Actress. ?
Therefore, it is better to respect yourself than to respect others. Only by believing in your own value and fully understanding your own strengths can you maintain the enterprising spirit. ?
4. How to build self-confidence?
People grow up in the process of overcoming inferiority and building self-confidence. ?
In real life, almost everyone knows the importance of self-confidence to career and life, but knowing the necessity of self-confidence does not mean having self-confidence. In fact, lack of self-confidence has always been a big problem that puzzles people. There is a survey of students who choose psychology in a university, and one of the problems is the most disturbing for individuals. The survey results show that 75% people lack self-confidence. In life, people who are hidebound, timid, deeply anxious, incompetent and even doubt their own abilities can be seen almost everywhere. This type of person has doubts about whether he is responsible. They also doubt whether they can seize the favorable opportunity. They always think that things can't be smooth sailing, so they are uneasy. Moreover, they don't believe that they can have what they want. Therefore, they tend to shrink back for second time, and feel satisfied as long as they have some achievements. ?
So how to build self-confidence? ?
(1) Set goals for yourself?
Setting goals is not only the need for success in life, but also the need to stimulate people's potential and create value to the maximum. Therefore, life must have a goal. With a goal, you will work hard to achieve it, and you won't worry about whether you have confidence or something other than the goal. ?
In fact, setting goals is a sign of confidence. If you have a goal in mind, your subconscious will mobilize all your energy and strive to achieve it. ?
But when setting goals, we should pay attention to make them conform to our own reality, and don't aim too high. Otherwise, once the goal can't be achieved, you will feel depressed, blow your confidence and make you lose confidence. ?
(2) Give play to your strengths?
People grow up in the process of overcoming inferiority and building self-confidence. Natural people are very different, but in comparison, people have their own strengths and weaknesses. When doing things, we must pay attention to our own advantages and avoid our own shortcomings. If you always do things that are not suitable for you, and compare your own shortcomings with the advantages of others, you will easily feel inferior and dampen your confidence. ?
(3) Do things in a planned way?
What can bring confidence to the world? Achievement. What are the achievements? Work hard. Hard work is a necessary condition for success. But it is not enough to work hard, but also to pay attention to methods and efficiency. ?
Many people in society are busy all day, but if you ask them what they have achieved, they may not be able to answer. For them, being busy is a necessary performance of work. If they are not busy, it seems that they don't work. This is caused by careless methods. Lack of attention to methods makes them ineffective. Over time, they not only pay attention to form, but ignore the basic content of efficiency. ?
What are the ways to do things? There are many ways to do things, and I think making a good plan and following it is one of the most effective ways. Making a good plan and acting according to the plan can not only improve work efficiency, but also experience the rhythm of work, so that you will not regard work as a kind of hard work; But as a kind of enjoyment, you feel the pulse of life at work and grasp the rhythm of life. ?
One of my beliefs is "doing things in a way and doing things efficiently". We must pay attention to methods and make plans in our work. ?
People who have no plans are always driven away by work. (4) Do things without delay?
In real life, some people lack self-confidence because of the long-term accumulation of setbacks, that is, because some small things in daily life are not handled and accumulated, resulting in increasing psychological pressure. Over time, they will have a sense of failure psychologically, making themselves feel that they can't do anything well, thus lacking self-confidence. Therefore, the best way to build yourself is to take every little thing seriously. Whatever you think should be done, big or small, should be taken seriously and handled well. First, give yourself a good explanation and make yourself satisfied. This is no small matter for building self-confidence. ?
Talk about methods and act efficiently. To do this, we must develop a focused work style, and at the same time, develop a good habit of getting things done every day. If you don't let the routine work overwhelm you, you will feel relaxed psychologically, which means that it is easy to cultivate self-confidence by removing the reasons of inferiority. ?
(5) Don't give up easily?
Confidence is gradually established through continuous efforts and progress. Giving up halfway, giving up halfway is an important reason why we are not confident. Therefore, whatever we think we should do and have already begun to do, don't give up lightly. When you give up, you may feel relaxed, but after things happen, setbacks and failures will continue to increase your psychological pressure like the ox king carrying the Monkey King until you feel guilty and inferior. So, never give yourself any reason to give up what you should and are doing. ?
Edison tried to use 1200 different materials as filament of incandescent bulbs, but failed. "You have failed 1200 times." Someone told him so. But Edison didn't think so. He said confidently, "My success lies in finding that 1200 material is not suitable for filament." He didn't give up the experiment, but continued to work hard and finally found the most suitable filament for making light bulbs, which succeeded. ?
Therefore, in my opinion, persistence in the end is a quality that is most worthy of promotion and reward. Mao Zedong said in "On Protracted War": "The final victory of a war often lies in unremitting efforts." Persistence is an indispensable quality for success. Madame Curie once said, "Life is not easy for any man or woman. To be persistent, the most important thing is to have confidence in yourself. We must believe that we have a natural talent for one thing, and we must finish it at any cost. At the end, you should be able to say with a clear conscience that you have done my best. As long as a person has confidence, then he can become what he wants to be. " ?
(6) learn to be self-motivated?
People's self-confidence is an intrinsic thing, which needs to be grasped and confirmed by yourself. Therefore, in the process of building self-confidence, we must learn to motivate ourselves. ?
One way to have the courage to face the ridicule and ridicule of others is to use temporary incentives. For example, when you meet something important and need courage to face it, you can say, "When the creator gave birth to me, he gave me unlimited wisdom and strength to do everything." This can enhance your inner self-confidence and stimulate your inner strength, so as to achieve your goal smoothly. Of course, this kind of incentive is only a temporary way. If you want to build self-confidence in your heart for a long time, you need to constantly motivate yourself until you form a habit. Springer, a German expert in human resource development, wrote in his book The Myth of Motivation: "The important thing in life is not to feel comfortable, but to feel full of energy." "Strong self-motivation is a prerequisite for success." . ?
Therefore, to learn to be self-motivated, we should give ourselves a habitual thinking. If you often have the idea of failure in your heart, you have lost a lot. On the contrary, if you have confidence in yourself and have the will and habit to dominate yourself, you can take your time even in the face of adversity. This strong self-confidence actually comes from self-confidence. In other words, self-confidence is the source of strength growth. ?
(7) Don't let yourself be someone else?
Don't give up easily whatever we think we should do and have begun to do. Imitation is God's nature and one of our abilities. At the beginning of study and work, especially for people who are engaged in artistic occupations, imitation is possible and even necessary at the beginning of employment. However, creation gave birth to you to make you who you really are. Very different and unique faces show that God shaped the world with diversity. So any similarity will make one of them lose the meaning of existence, so you can imitate others, but don't make yourself someone else. You are yourself. You must find your own uniqueness, cultivate yourself and show yourself. ?
If a person wants to be someone else, then he will live in the shadow of others and can't see his independent self, so he will never find confidence.