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Be reasonable, I'm not surprised that Goddess Zhang got married in an instant. The chin is still there, steady ~
After knowing that 10 has been in love for 70 days and married, the circle of friends has already carried out "flash marriage is so capricious?" "Great debate.
The reporter circle also lived up to expectations and quickly revealed the family background of the new husband. Rich boys and beautiful women, ahem, the hard injury is character and reliability.
In fact, there are too many cases of flash marriage, and Miss Zhang is not the fastest.
Flash marriage classic big S, I didn't know her husband Wang Xiaofei for 100 days, fell in love for 20 days, and met her four times before getting married. What makes the entertainment circle unforgettable is that Crystal and Jiang Kai only got married in 4 1 day, and then left in 1 year, which became a classic story of snobbish female stars marrying the wrong person.
You say this is the fault of flash marriage?
Being in love for a long time does not guarantee a good marriage. Michael Chen and his ex-wife Xu Jing ran for love in 14, and finally they didn't meet the daily necessities in their marriage.
The most embarrassing thing is that more often, I ran to the finish line and found that it was not you holding hands. If there is no love story, look at Karen Mok and Feng Delun, Liang Yongqi and Ekin Cheng, one for nine years and one for six years. A love affair takes up a woman's best years. Such a heavy love, touching your chest and asking yourself, who can bear it? So Karen Mok had a flash marriage with his first love, and Liang Yongqi married a Spanish passer-by six months later. Both of them are fine now!
Flash marriage is risky and you can't afford to lose long-distance running. How long is the best time to get married?
If you want to follow a routine, then the experts have not helped you analyze it.
Ted Houston is a permanent professor of "Human Development and Family Science" at the University of Texas and an academic leader in this field. Even Fullbright, one of the highest honors in famous academic circles, sponsored his important research on human emotions.
(Ted Houston's personal website)
Adhering to the motto "Your marriage broke up because you didn't choose the right person when you were in love, and you weren't prepared enough for marriage" ("The basic reason for divorce ... is the wrong choice of spouse and insufficient preparation for a marriage type"), Lao Xiansen started a research project called "Matching Project" as early as 198 1 and led the team to1.
The study found that most happily married couples spend an average of 27 months (two years and three months). But the biggest influence on the success or failure of marriage is not the length of love, but the love mode of two people!
(Reference: FFCI:: When marriage dies: premarital and early marriage are the precursors of diversity)
What kind of love pattern is most likely to fall apart?
The Lover Plan divides the following lovers into two groups according to the lasting situation of marriage.
The first category is called "early quitters", which basically belongs to couples who have been married for more than two years, but can't help but itch for seven years.
When people who leave early get married, there is basically no characteristic of "I can't love you" and "sticking together all day". Perhaps it is because we both know that this marriage is not necessary for you, and it is impossible to make it better through any efforts, so the emotional bond between the "early leave group" will be at the wedding? It didn't last long, and it soon went bad.
As far as the love mode is concerned, the early leave group during the love period usually knows that there are some problems in the love between two people. Compared with the control group, they are not in love. And the probability that this group loves long-distance running is particularly high. In the early days of love, two people in the early leave group may not "try" seriously for a long time before formally establishing a relationship. In fact, according to Ted Huston's research team, when two people try for a long time before they feel the need to start a formal relationship, it is characterized by "delayed action divorce".
It is conceivable that the lovers who leave the group early belong to the kind of love that drags on and hesitates. They have been in love for a long time, but not necessarily deeply, or they love each other but are not satisfied with their relationship. Maybe during my love, I broke up countless times and even lied to others silently. They finally return to their original lover, on the one hand, they may have hope that their problems may be solved, on the other hand, they may be out of fear that if they are not with this person, they may die alone ...
Don't you think we should have separated a long time ago?
Keke, people who think their friends are getting married, or people who have been in love for too long, spend too much time and cost, and are unwilling to withdraw their funds-not too much.
The second kind of couples can't get a divorce certificate until they have been married for at least 7 years. They are called "delayed action divorcees".
Similar to the early leave group, the "late marriage group" already felt that the marriage was not so serious two years before marriage. The bond between the two people, quickly split, gradually drifting away. The friends of "late marriage" obviously pay more attention to their marriage than those who leave early.
Different from the early leave group, the "married group" madly loves each other when they are in love: all kinds of stickiness and love, and feel that they can't live without each other. Just never imagined that marriage turned out to be the grave of their love, and soon! Because they can't accept the fact that love dies so soon, couples will try their best to keep this marriage. "Don't stop until you seek medical treatment" has become a "marriage procrastinator".
The biggest difference between the "delayed marriage group" and other groups is that their love mode usually belongs to the "disgusting type"-really special ~ don't ~ romantic ~, dry wood meets fire, lightning meets flint, and usually they get married in less than one year! There is no cohabitation before marriage, but there are premarital babies-half of the "wedding group" brides are pregnant at the wedding.
In the eyes of outsiders, the "marriage group" must be attracted to each other when they are in love, although the reason is probably that the other party looks very good. Because of the vigorous love, the "marriage group" in love can't see the problems between two people. Even if there is, they will think that this is not a big problem and can be ignored. Therefore, there is a "perfect love" that is particularly prosperous and full of flowers on the lovers' stage of the "wedding group".
Interestingly, they usually vacillate about the decision to get married. In fact, the research team found that one person in the "marriage procrastination group" is often pregnant or feels old, rather than digging deep into the reasons for the other person's hesitation and forcing the other half to submit quickly.
therefore
Being in love for too long or too short is not ideal for a lasting marriage.
Love talk too shallow or too enthusiastic, it is easy to be disappointed with each other in the first two years of marriage, and eventually lead to divorce sooner or later.
Spicy, too shallow, we can easily judge, what's wrong with loving too strongly?
The curious scientist added that there is nothing wrong with the intensity of love itself, but "idealizing" the other person will eventually lead to your disappointment with the other half, which usually happens to younger people with less love experience.
The research team tracked 80 college students in love and found that "young people" are more likely to idealize their lovers. In addition, once the "idealized" partner, love is more likely to show a kind of obsession, all kinds of romance, to the disgusting "perfect state."
In the early days of love, it is normal to be attracted only by each other's advantages. "Idealization" means that when the relationship is strong, you see each other's shortcomings. Do you choose to turn a blind eye or imagine that one day it will be changed? If you think so, be careful, you are idealizing each other, and this illusion will eventually be shattered.
In the final analysis, from an expert's point of view, the success or failure of marriage can be seen when two people fall in love. So, did you choose the right person? Can the current male ticket last forever?
These questions are more important:
Is the love between you too strong? That you can't see each other's shortcomings?
Or, your love is full of shortcomings, and all you can do is always ignore these problems?
If the above problems do not exist, Dr. Ian Kenner, a psychologist, a certified analyst who specializes in gender relations in marriage and family, and the author of The New York Times's best-selling book "She Comes First" also suggested that 1-2 years is the ideal love duration before marriage.
"I have seen many couples with particularly good feelings. What they have in common is that they both fell in love quickly and knew each other's friends and family well before they got married. No matter how many ups and downs they have experienced together, such as losing their loved ones and jobs-these ups and downs can really show you a different side of a person-they always feel that this person is the best for them. I've known this for less than a year ... but the key to lasting success is to see each other's reaction when there are problems in life and whether you two can cope with them together. I believe that the breadth of life experience is more important than the length of time together. "
"They experienced the feeling of living with each other, or spent a lot of time together, experienced some life cycle problems, such as losing a family member or a friendship, or attending a wedding or funeral, and really saw each other in many different backgrounds, and thought it was a good match. Generally speaking, this may happen within a year ... you want some problems to appear and see how you can deal with them together. For me, what is more important is the range of experience that contributes to compatibility, not the length of time.
In fact, look at the success and failure of flash marriage in reality, both in China and the West.
Britney Spears in the past, donuts today, Britney Spears set a record of flash marriage within 55 hours.
Beckham and Victoria only dated for six months before they got married. At that time, they were told that they would end their marriage within two years. I don't know that they have been married for 15 years, and they are still very sweet, with four high-value children.
Look at the love time, it is better to look at the love mode; Look at the length of love, not the width.
Which kind do you and Ta belong to?
Does the idea of being with Ta all your life bring you happiness, fear or uncertainty?
As for the function of this article …
Send it to your approved ta, and add a word of sharing:
I love you neither salty nor light,
I'd rather give up the length of my life,
Experience the width of life with you.
Two years have passed. What do you think?
If you like sugar sister, remember to collect it!
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