Born in a famous family, pua keeps mocking, suppressing and denying you under the slogan of "for your own good" in the name of love, thus controlling you. The logical chain of PUA is this: you are not good enough, you are not worthy of love, and you need to be better to be worthy of love.

Be hit from an early age

Bad comments from parents are the hardest blow to you. No child is willing to admit that he is inferior to others. They want to be affirmed by adults, and their understanding of themselves often comes from the evaluation of adults. People who are often attacked by their parents often feel inferior and fall into self-doubt and self-denial. In severe cases, you will suffer from mental illness, which will lead to many extreme behaviors.

When I was a child, someone asked me: You should be sensible.

Being sensible is often an illusion, and its background is inferiority. I dare not. Dare not be selfish, willful or ignorant. Many people with low self-esteem care about being sensible all their lives, but never know themselves. They suppress their own needs and dare to say yes, yes and it doesn't matter. They often please others, conscientiously complete tasks, live a decent life, but often live without themselves. Han Dajie, a well-known writer, wrote in the article "Behind sensibility is a deep inferiority complex": "Sensibility is a poison. Once this impression is formed, it will kidnap you to persist. Because I have long known that a Xiong Haizi will be praised as long as he does something warm-hearted. And a sensible child who does something out of line will disappoint his parents and give up all his efforts. So sometimes we have to stick to the end with the aura of "being sensible" and be patient. I found that behind being sensible is a deep sense of inferiority. I feel that I may lose at any time and dare not fight, so I have been living carefully. "

"I am working so hard, not just for you."

Growing up, we have a lot of expectations. Therefore, parents often pin their hopes and spirits on their children and keep saying that they should let them know. In their view, only by making children feel guilty can children have more motivation to learn. "You are the hope of our family." "You don't have to worry about us, as long as you are alive." "We did all this for you." "We go out early and come back late every day for you."