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Ma Ji's "Salesman" (Cosmos brand cigarette) lines (full version)
Excuse me, where is your person in charge? & lt Why do you smell like this? This is the Spring Festival Gala > No, I'm talking business with him. No, you, you, you don't know. I will tell everyone, I will tell everyone.

Comrades, we are from this cosmic cigarette factory, ah, ah, right. We want to provide some sponsorship products for your party, that is, this cosmic brand cigarette. Which one do you want to smoke? Who smokes? Smoking? Who smokes? Have a taste. Which one do you want to smoke? Who smokes? We, Cosmos brand cigarettes, have entered the national advanced ranks in all aspects. To use an adjective, the factory is small and ambitious, and it flew out of golden phoenix in the mountain nest. Why are our products popular with users? The main reason is that our products are cheap and good. It's not that Pharaoh sells melons to brag. As far as our products are concerned, they have been sold in many big cities in China, including Taiwan Province Province in brackets. We also want to rush out of Asia and enter the international market! Our cosmic cigarettes will be sold to the United States, Japan, Britain, the Soviet Union, India, Sweden, Denmark, Myanmar, Switzerland, Norway, Finland, Nepal, Yugoslavia, Afghanistan, Hungary, Bulgaria, the Netherlands, Egypt, Yemen, Syria, Sri Lanka, Algeria, Morocco, Sudan, Guinea, Kenya, Somalia, Uganda, Tanzania and Zambia. We sell all maps of San Marino, Australia, Mexico, Argentina, Malta, Mauritius, Guyana, Luxembourg, Jamaica, Lebanon, Rwanda, France and Canada. Whether people buy or not is another question.

Who smokes? You smoke, alas! Our cosmic cigarettes, comrades, why are they popular with users? & lt light a cigarette > mainly because we grasp it well! We have a slogan called customer first, quality first and sales first. How can we maintain sales? We just keep changing brands, every three days! It turns out that the brand we produce is called "Dung Bug Brand". Although the brand is not loud enough, it has a strong local flavor! Later, as soon as we looked it up in the dictionary, we knew that emotional dung beetles was dung beetles, dung beetles who rolled the dung ball! Do you think this brand will not stink? If it stinks, we'll change the brand right away. Let's change it to "flat peach", which means that smoking a pack of my flat peach cigarettes can live forever. Later, smokers made up a jingle for us: "Flat peach, flat peach, you can't get it without hard work." This brand stinks again! Change it when it stinks. We will change it into a "beautiful" card. If you are a beautiful woman, draw a big girl on the cigarette case, a slim lady with delicate features and gorgeous clothes, with a small wallet in her left hand and a cigarette in her right hand. This is called a slim fairy. She doesn't like red clothes, but likes cigarettes. This heavy smoker can't get along with anyone, and as a result, this brand stinks. But we believe that the cosmic card will keep her young. What's going on here? This brand is loud, the rising star of the universe, the universe and cigarettes! We use cosmic cigarettes to open our new era and create our new situation! Tell you the truth, we cosmic smoke, take the second measure to expand sales, which is to create public opinion for cosmic smoke! Just advertise. Wow! No matter where you are in the subway station, or what busy streets and windows on the wall, there are advertisements for our cosmic cigarettes everywhere! Let Cosmic Cigarette become a household name, known to all women and children, and become a necessity for everyone in Xian Yi, young and old! Cosmic cigarettes have entered your life and become the first of the three elements of your life! If you don't smoke my cosmic cigarette, you won't have a happy family! If you don't smoke my cosmic cigarette, you young man can't go to bed! If you don't smoke my cosmic cigarette, you students can't go to college! Without cosmic cigarettes, everyone here will have a bad year. Our cosmic smoke has a long history, rich experience, perfect equipment and first-class technology. Please remember to register by telegram: one refund, six two five; Phone: Anyway.

Stop clapping, there are no cigarettes! Why not? This room is beautiful, but it's a little damp. You said no tide, you said no tide. Why is there water on my forehead? When you talk about this kind of lighter, they don't care about quality. A flame just can't light a cigarette. No, comrades, we still have measures. We will produce WC series products recently. What do you mean by series products? I don't know. It's a buzzword anyway. Like trains, we produce a set of calligraphy, landscapes and figures. The design is small, the printing is beautiful and lifelike. This is very attractive to collectors. What happened? You should collect a set of my designs: a set of eight immortals crossing the sea, and you should buy me at least eight boxes of cigarettes. Twelve women in Jinling, you should buy me twelve boxes. Thirty-six scenic spots in Suzhou and Hangzhou, you want to buy me thirty-six boxes? One hundred and eight will buy me a box of 108? Five hundred arhats bought me five hundred boxes? I still have millions of heroes to go to Jiangnan! Comrades, we still have to adopt the way of sales with prizes. How can we call it a prize sale? If you save me a set of patterns, you can get a 20-inch color TV from our factory. This is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity! Please buy as soon as possible. We have distributed all the TV sets. How many TV sets do you think your factory has prepared? To be honest, I don't expect anyone to take it away this year or next. What happened? I printed three copies less of each set.

Well, whoever wants to buy cosmic cigarettes, I'll set up a canteen there.