Does anyone know the example of "self-improvement"?

Children should be self-reliant.

During the Kangxi period, Liu Yinshu, the governor of Guizhou, retired to his hometown and wanted to build a bridge for his hometown with his life savings. However, the children objected to him: "You have been a senior official all your life, but we haven't touched any light. It is easy to expect you to go home, but you are so indifferent to us. " Liu Yinshu was very sad. He felt that although he was innocent, he neglected the education of his children. So he used up his savings and spent five years building a bridge named "Liu Yuqiao". After the bridge was repaired, he said to his children, "The reason why I spent all my savings on repairing the bridge is to tell you with facts that I want to go my own way and create my own life. It is better to rely on yourself. " In order to completely eliminate the children's dependence on their parents, he sold the bridge to the government for fifteen taels of silver.

What Liu Yinshu did deeply touched his children. His children will become the pillars of the country in the future.

It should be said that Liu Yinshu is far-sighted in attaching importance to the cultivation of children's spirit of self-improvement, and he is well-intentioned in educating children with his life savings. The ancients still did. How should parents view the cultivation of children's self-improvement spirit today, and what role should parents play from it? Let's look at two stories first.

Case 1: I have a pair of wings that have experienced wind and rain.

My parents are ordinary workers. Like other parents, they know the importance of knowledge. So, I became their hope, and I was determined to go to college.

However, suffering is on my dream road. When I was six years old, when my father was on the night shift, iron filings collapsed into my eyes and my left eye became blind. When I was eleven years old, my father had his left kidney removed because of kidney disease surgery, so I could no longer do manual labor. My mother was laid off when I was in the first grade, and my family's life was only maintained by my father's work injury allowance of 200 yuan per month. The air seems to have become depressed in those days. Such a family needs a son to take the lead. That day, I resolutely made a decision: in order to work, I have to provide for my own school.

I borrowed 50 yuan from my classmates and went to the wholesale market to buy some small decorative paintings and handicrafts, ready to be like a vendor at the school gate. I didn't expect ordinary things to become so difficult on my head. I didn't take the goods out of my bag at noon that day. But if the goods don't sell, I can't even pay back the fifty dollars I borrowed. At noon the next day, I went to the school gate far away, set the goods up, and didn't dare to yell at myself. For a long time, a little classmate came up to me and asked me, "Is this for sale?" I nodded quickly. I made a dime that day, my first dime. At that moment, I deeply realized the hardships of making money and understood how much sweat and hard work my father usually gave me.

A month later, I made money in 80 yuan. 23 yuan bought a long-awaited classic. Walking out of the bookstore, I suddenly felt that the sky was so blue. When I got home, my father asked me in surprise where the money came from, and I told him. He didn't say anything. But I saw his mouth shaking, and I knew he was trying to control his emotions. At noon more than a week later, when everyone was eating, my father suddenly asked me, "Where did you get the goods?" I was surprised, but he didn't look at me. He just held out his chopsticks to pick up the food. Soon, my father, like me, began to sell goods at the gate of a primary school ... I am very grateful to my father, and his behavior is a silent encouragement to me. And I really feel that the fire of fate is actually in my own hands.

Once, I squatted in the corner of the night market and shouted. An eight or nine-year-old boy was attracted by my handicrafts, and his mother said she wouldn't buy anything. When she dragged him out five or six meters, I suddenly heard her shouting, "Look, if you don't study hard, you'll have to set up a stall in the future."

Although I have long been used to being scrutinized, I also feel the pride of self-reliance. But at that moment, I was deeply hurt. I think of my mother who cleans the corridor and my father who is sick and working. They are also engaged in the work at the bottom of society, but they are the most loving parents and the most perfect parents in my heart. I think I will use my own labor to win the respect of others and let my parents live a happy life.

The most relaxing time every year is winter and summer vacation, because there is plenty of time and the goods are not limited to primary school students. That winter vacation, I wholesale a bag of sticky bean bags from the morning market. In the afternoon rush hour, I sell them on the way nearby. In less than two hours, all the bean bags were sold out, and I earned 36 yuan, which was the day I earned the most. I am very happy. The next day, another package was wholesale, and all of them were sold out. On the third day, I went to a familiar place to sell, but few people bought it. Only after thinking about it can I know that this is an early adopter and nostalgic psychology for people to eat tofu brain. The floating population in a place is fixed, and those who want to try early have already bought it, so business will naturally slow down. So I kept changing places, and my dad came to help. In twenty days, we traveled all over the nearby roads and earned more than 600 yuan. That Spring Festival is the happiest festival I have ever spent. My parents are very happy, I think it's because they see their daughter grow up day by day. ...

In this way, I completed my studies on my own, and was admitted to Harbin Engineering University with a total score of 600 and a perfect score in college entrance examination composition.

From the first issue of China Youth: Cao Shuyuan.

The picture shows a girl selling goods in the street.

Little girl selling goods

It should be said that Cao Shuyuan is unfortunate. She has suffered so much since she was a child. But Cao Shuyuan is also lucky. It is those unfortunate experiences that make him understand life. I think every reader will pay tribute to Cao Shuyuan. But I'm afraid the following case will make people feel some pain.

Case 2: the mother's "old son"

A speech by a juvenile delinquent

My name is Dai Yu, a teenage girl. Now she should live in a world full of sunshine and colors. However, I was put in jail for fraud.

As long as I can remember, my parents have called me "Laoer". They treat me like an old son, love me, treat me like the apple of their eye, and never give up beating me and scolding me. I think my childhood is golden. However, it is this life of "reaching out as needed and opening your mouth" that makes me lazy. My sister does all the work at home, and I don't want to do it. My greatest pleasure is to eat delicious food and wear beautiful clothes.

My parents also dream that I can go to college, but I think it's hard to study. I have to write, calculate and recite every day. If I can't do it, I will be criticized by my teacher, so I have never been interested in learning, and my grades are certainly not satisfactory. In order to avoid criticism from parents and teachers, I always cheat in exams. So I am often caught by teachers, and my parents have been invited to school many times. When my parents saw that I was not the material for study, they made me lose my temper. My sister sometimes advises me, but I don't listen. After a long time, she doesn't care anymore. I feel very free without the pressure of study and the urging of others. You can watch TV as you like, and you can watch "Midnight Theater" in Animation City.

But as I get older, I'm not content to stay at home all day. The outside world is wonderful. I want to go out and see for myself. As a result, some students who spend money lavishly have become my friends. We always wander in the street on Saturday and Sunday. At first, my parents never interfered, and it was not until I got mixed up with unemployed young people in society that they began to feel anxious. They told me to break up with those people, but I didn't listen at all, because I was headstrong since I was a child. My friends don't like them, so I argue with them. Then I left home in a fit of pique, so I couldn't go to school. I mix with friends in society, more and more people know bad things, and my path is getting more and more evil. ...

Once I was wronged outside, it suddenly occurred to me that I hadn't been home for months. I picked up the phone and my mother answered it. Mother heard my voice and cried. She said, "Old man, where are you?" ? Come back, as long as you come back, no matter what mistakes you made, you can forgive them. You remember: only cruel children, no cruel parents. "after listening to my mother's words, I realized that I was so cruel and heartless ... I went home, and my father specially made a lot of things I like to eat that day. I am very happy. I haven't been so happy for a long time. After staying at home for a while, the sunshine-like warmth climbed up my home again.

The good times didn't last long, and the idle days bored me. I'm too lazy to read books and won't let me do housework. I want to find a class. My parents say I'm two years younger. I can't eat or sleep all day, and I can't sleep or eat. Soon, I started calling those friends again. I'm glad they promised to take me out to play. But mom and dad don't agree I quarreled with my parents again and left home cruelly. We eat in restaurants, take a sauna every day, play the best disco in the city and have a barbecue at night. To tell the truth, I know my parents love me very much. However, I am no longer a little girl clamoring for candy and flowers. I can't bear to part with my friends. I'd like to talk to them. I like to see their faces when I talk about new things. From them, I feel the value of my existence. Sometimes I don't know why. The more they object, the closer I get to those friends. In this way, home has become a hotel, and the feelings with parents are getting weaker and weaker. I didn't feel like waking up from a nightmare until I walked into the detention center.

My friend, we live in a vast world. The vast world contains countless happiness and beauty. But the beauty is always accompanied by ugly shadows, and greed, selfishness and laziness are often sandwiched between beauty and kindness. May people remember these evil lessons and never let the tragedy repeat itself.

The cry of a bird

It's heartbreaking that a flower of life was hit hard when it was in bud. Learn from a bitter experience, what makes the performances of Cao Yu and Dai Yu so different? With this question, I visited several parents and experts. The following are the opinions of several parents.

Parent A: I think the difference between the two children is directly related to him. Compared with Dai Yu, Cao Shuyuan's childhood is gray. However, Cao Shuyuan is so motivated and her family conditions are difficult. She not only supported her study, but also provoked the burden of her family. She is so sensible, she understands the hardships of life and the difficulties of her parents. She exchanged her labor for her parents' smiles. She loves thinking so much that she can quickly judge people's mentality of buying tofu. I think Cao Shuyuan's future life will be very good. I wish I had such a daughter.

Compared with Cao Yuyuan, Dai Yu is too ignorant. The family has created superior conditions for her, but it has become an excuse for her to be lazy. She doesn't like studying, and she is opportunistic. It is her indolence and lack of progress that makes her unable to extricate herself from being mixed with the unemployed. Sometimes when parents come across a piece, they always say that there is nothing for their children to worry about.

Parent B: I think the different behaviors of the two children are related to the environment. Cao Shuyuan is unfortunate, but she still has to live in the face of misfortune. What should I do? Only hard work. I think that's what the poor children say. On the contrary, Dai Yu has had superior conditions since childhood. However, she is like a caged bird. After being fed by humans, even if you rush out of the cage, you will become unable to eat. At the same time, her rapid decline has a lot to do with her communication environment. "Since ancient times, great talents have suffered a lot, and there have never been many great men." The old adage tells us that a tough environment can sharpen people's will and inspire them to forge ahead.

Parent C: I agree with the two parents. However, I think family education is very important in children's growth. Dai Yujin detention center is directly related to his parents. They are obedient to Dai Yu, and they are really "afraid of melting in their mouths and falling into their hands". It is this doting that makes Dai Yu lazy and willful. And once a bad habit is formed, it is difficult to change it. Not only that, children are afraid of hardship and don't want to go to school. They don't make progress, and they don't pay attention to it. They just let her do whatever she wants.

It should be pointed out that Dai Yu wants to find some jobs after his first home. It should be said that this is a reflection of her progress, but her parents did not provide conditions. So she was bored thinking of her friends. It's a pity that Dai Yu's parents didn't notice their children's psychological changes and just loved them blindly.

On the contrary, in the growth of Cao Yuyuan, the role played by his father at a critical time produced good results. Imagine if Cao Shuyuan, who made money for the first time, met a loud roar: Son, why don't you study hard and do these things? Then, the result may be another way. Cao Yuyuan's father is not good at words, but he supports his children with actions. It should be said that he is an ordinary and great father.

Parents express their opinions and make people think deeply. However, pedagogy believes that education, environment and heredity are all factors affecting children's growth. They complement each other and are inseparable. If the three are combined, our educational effect will be much better. Next, let's see how experts know the different performances of the two children.

The different performances of Cao Yuyuan and Dai Yu are related to their own sense of self-improvement. Their different results just reflect the significance of self-improvement spirit in children's growth. The so-called spirit of self-improvement refers to the spirit of striving to exert subjective initiative to overcome all difficulties, independence and perseverance. It is an independent ability to find and solve problems.

The spirit of self-improvement is an excellent tradition of the Chinese nation. From Kuang Heng, who stole the column, to Sima Qian, who wrote a book with humiliation and burden; From Lu Xun, who gave up medicine and saved the people by writing, to Zhang Haidi, who was physically disabled and determined to challenge himself, the spirit of self-improvement of many people with lofty ideals inspired generations of young people. Nowadays, the report of the 16th National Congress of the Communist Party of China puts forward the call to continue to carry forward Chinese traditional virtues in the new period. This fully shows that cultivating children's self-improvement spirit has distinct significance of the times. Self-improvement is the foundation of success. With the spirit of self-improvement, children will have the motivation to move forward and take the initiative to solve problems. With the spirit of self-improvement, children can show perseverance and tenacity in the face of setbacks. It is this spirit of self-improvement that has enabled Cao Shuyuan to walk out of the predicament and withstand various pressures. It was the spirit of self-improvement that enabled her to complete her studies and win respect.

On the contrary, many children in real life seriously lack the spirit of self-improvement. They pursue enjoyment and have a weak will. Even if there is an ideal, it is for all kinds of honors and enjoyment after realizing it. Facing the reality, I have no countermeasures, I don't think much, I don't do much, and I am unwilling to work hard. So I just envy other people's successful results. If you don't get anything, you will be depressed and even disheartened. Some people even broke the law and went to prison.

I think every parent wants their children to be like Cao Yuyuan, but they always feel that their children can't do it. In fact, self-reliance is the inevitable result of children's physical and mental development. This is because with the growth of middle school students' age, their bodies are getting taller and stronger, and some things that could not be done before can be easily done.

Physiological changes also affect their psychological changes. As a result, the sense of independence and adulthood began to increase. They are eager to take care of themselves and stand on their own feet, hoping that others will recognize their adult status. From "obedient morality" to "equal morality" If this kind of psychology is not satisfied, they will become very dependent and timid because of "overprotection". On the other hand, they will eventually find a way to satisfy this kind of psychology. If they can't satisfy this psychology for a long time, they will behave extremely. This is why Dai Yu is with unhealthy young people. Therefore, parents should fully realize the role of self-improvement consciousness in children's minds and be good at protecting children's self-improvement consciousness.

Parents' communication and experts' comments illustrate the importance of self-improvement from different angles. But in daily life, many parents are confused about self-improvement. In order to get more information and solve problems in daily life, we invite experts to answer questions.

Parents: How should parents treat their children's dependence? How to help children overcome the problem of strong dependence?

Expert: Dependence is an emotional need. Everyone has different degrees of dependence. Because children are inexperienced, they are often at a loss when they encounter problems, so it is normal to have a certain degree of dependence.

But the psychology of excessive dependence is harmful. Children who rely too much often have no opinions and often feel helpless. They know that others are wrong, but because they are afraid of being abandoned, they agree, so it is difficult to complete their own plans or do their own things independently. Sometimes, in order to please others, I am willing to do what I don't want to do, and I am easily criticized or disapproved. In the long run, it may have an impact on normal life and work.

Why do some children form excessive dependence on their parents? This is often related to the overprotection of parents. Therefore, to get rid of children's strong dependence, we must first change our parents. Parents should not let their children receive special treatment; Don't pay too much attention to children's performance and avoid praising children in public; Don't easily meet children's material enjoyment requirements; If the child is slightly unwell, don't panic; Do nothing, protect your face or something.

Parents should try their best to create opportunities for their children to exercise. We can start with the trivial things of daily life and let children do what they can. For example: ask children to get up, sleep, pack clothes and take care of themselves on time; Ask children to tidy up their desks, bring learning tools and take care of themselves in their studies. You can listen to your children's opinions on non-principled issues. For example, to buy clothes for children, within a certain price, the style and color can be decided by the children themselves.

Parents should encourage their children to find opportunities for independent exercise. Encourage them to actively participate in activities organized by the school and social practice activities. Take on more tasks in activities, give yourself the opportunity to face problems independently, and urge yourself to make up your mind and find ways. Encourage them to take the first step bravely, and encourage them in time when they finish something independently to enhance their self-confidence. When a child encounters setbacks, give him more help and understanding, analyze the reasons for the failure with him, and study ways to solve the problem.

Parents should encourage children to read more good books. Arm children's minds with the examples of people with lofty ideals at home and abroad, and inspire them to set up lofty ideals. At the same time, parents should encourage their children to get in touch with motivated children and learn from them. Because the role of adolescent peers is sometimes greater than that of parents, the role of peers as role models can also play a very good role.

In short, there are many ways to overcome children's excessive dependence. Parents can choose the appropriate method according to their children's characteristics and actual situation. After a long period of exercise, children's excessive dependence will be weakened.

In order to test whether you pay attention to cultivating children's self-improvement spirit, we provide you with a specific psychological test. You can choose one of the three alternative answers to fill in the brackets according to the actual situation.

1. Do you encourage children to go out alone?