Lev? Lev Novak is a primary school teacher in Boston, USA, and has served as an after-school tutor for three years. He often sees children making fun of each other, and sometimes these fights will turn into bullying, or become whispers between peers, causing rejection.
To prevent or stop child bullying, we must teach students in accordance with their aptitude and adapt to local conditions. Nowak believes that the "zero tolerance policy" generally implemented in American campuses is not always effective. Recently, he wrote an article in the Washington post and put forward seven suggestions to stop children's bullying.
1. Avoid cliches
Children's moral values have not yet formed. The general phrase "don't bully others" doesn't work for them, and the slogan "don't bully others" on campus has limited effect. Sincere conversation, specific names, events and situations can guide children to reflect. Every time there is a bullying incident, you should talk to your child about the situation at that time.
2. Remember the purpose of bullying
Everyone must understand bullying from the perspective of children. For many children, bullying is an act of seeking affirmation. Many children bully others to prove that they are very powerful and cool; But they didn't expect it to be wrong and cruel, and it would bring pain to others. Tell children that bullying will only make people afraid and leaders can be respected.
Bullies are often unaware of their actions.
Children who bully others are often confused, angry and depressed. They bully just to vent their emotions, thinking that others have angered them, but they don't know that this is bullying. Let children talk about their feelings, ask them why they are angry and teach them how to deal with their anger.
Bullies are often eager to grow up.
Bullying may also be a declaration of growth, indicating that you are no longer the darling card of childhood. If the adult world in children's minds is a cruel world, they will also take cruel actions against their peers. When dealing with bullying, treat children as adults and talk to them like adults.
5. Internal problems may be manifested in external behaviors.
Insecure older children will bully children to show their strength. Girls with self-image problems will make fun of other girls' ugliness to consolidate their social status. Children with learning difficulties may deliberately disturb the classroom. Pay more attention to children's psychology and solve the problem fundamentally.
6. Bullying has nothing to do with parenting skills
Kind children may bully others, and smart children may bully others. Don't think that children are smart and kind, so there will be no bullying. Children's bullying behavior does not mean that parents' education has failed. Once there are signs, we must deal with them. Don't shy away from discussing bullying with children.
7. Teach them how to repair their relationship.
At the moment of bullying, the bully will get * * *; But after bullying, the bully will also feel pain and shame. They are unwilling or afraid to apologize because it will make them more ashamed. Give them a chance to mend their relationship, do something for the bullied children and admit their mistakes.