Character: A- big fool (the role of teacher Zhao Benshan)

B-chef (the role of Mr. Fan Wei)

Sister-in-law (the role of teacher Gao Xiumin)

Opening: (C slowly enters the stage arm in arm)

A: I fought with Chef Fan again and again.

I'm embarrassed to win first and then lose.

The first kidnapping tricked him into laying eggs.

The second car sale made him dizzy.

The third time was a bit miscalculated.

He is angry because his wife is not here.

I brought two apprentices, one more timid than the other.

I borrowed my sister-in-law to build it temporarily today.

(to c)

Don't let your brother-in-law down.

C: Brother-in-law, I'm a little scared. My heart is not practical, and everyone knows that my sister is long gone.

A: Don't panic. You look just like your sister.

This is the resource we use.

I can't believe it. Even the chef can't stand it.

How can I wander in the Jianghu in the future!

(b from the other side, wearing a hat, leaning on a cane, pointing to the diamond ring, very proud)

B: The magic is one foot high and the road is ten feet high.

I have been fighting that big fool for years.

Learn from the war. I was stronger in the Vietnam War.

Kidnapper. I'm a detective in his firing range.

"Selling cars" is an illusion given to him by the paralyzing enemy.

I will cooperate for the third time.

Break him to pieces.

I heard he was unconvinced.

Screaming to compete with me.

Hehe, this time, call him: (singing: Beijing dialect) There are people who come and go.

(looking up at a)

Alas! Brother, come early (Beijing dialect)

Dude, you're not too late.

B: Huh? Those two apprentices didn't come, so they changed to a female general! Oh, I see. Congratulations, brother! This is the new sister-in-law How fatter than the old sister-in-law!

Hey, hey, what look? Take a good look. This is still your fat elder sister, my wife!

B: (I staggered when I heard "my wife")

A: (to Bing Qiao's voice) Did you get scared when you saw him in the first round? Looks like he's as scared as you are!

B: I said, where did you get such a fake? Now it's fierce counterfeiting! 123 15 I think where are you going?

A: What is a fake? Newly packaged secondhand goods. Give it a try!

Don't ... that's very generous of you, but I haven't got the courage yet. Besides, I have never paid it back before! Isn't it?

A: Would you like to try it?

Don't ... you're too direct with this honey trap.

A: (winking at C) It's up to you. Let's go

C: Alas! Master Fan, I heard that you are very rich now, and your eyes are always looking up when you walk. I haven't seen you for a few years, so I forgot my sister (teasing and pushing B's chest).

Don't ... don't do this, okay? You should do this to big brother. (turning to the public) It seems that this honey trap is still a bit serial today. (turning to C) Alas, I have long heard that you have left-

A: I went.

Is it over there? Which way is that?

C: That is, if we are in the daytime, which side is she on at night?

B: The more I listen to it, the more I feel.

One (suddenly woke up and slapped loudly) America!

B: (B was startled by the sudden applause and stumbled away again)

A: (to C) Look, his spirit has completely collapsed, and today he is finished!

I told you America would be finished. I was surprised at first sight. What? It's day and night here and there. What are you doing? Scare people!

A: Nothing. Test your knowledge of geography by the way.

B: No-not as serious as your mistake. Besides, there is more than one country in our country day and night. There are also Brazil, Peru and Canada; Paraguay, Maragui; Barbados, Guyana; Nicaragua, Jamaica-

C: All right, all right, one set at a time.

B: Sister, what are you doing in America? Have you been gone so long?

C: (a little flustered) I-no-

A: Beauty!

B: Not even a trace of beauty?

A: You don't understand. The beauty of Americans is different from ours.

B: What's the difference?

A: They are not called beauty, they are called "modules", you know?

B: That is, people put a lot of "images" in advance and then copy one on you according to your favorite pattern, right?

Do you see it? The cook does not cook, but plays computer.

C: Master Fan, you have changed a lot! I almost didn't recognize you!

A: (cautiously)

Fasten your bald head with a wide-brimmed shovel.

Crutches are very delicate.

The diamond ring on the hand is shining with cold light.

From the overall packaging analysis

A little rich.

B: Burmese goods in jade's hand.

Ten thousand dollars for a hat.

A crutch, 33 thousand

These are all made in foreign countries

C: Ah! They are all imported!

A: (communicate with C)

During these times, I gained a lot by contacting the enemy.

Repeatedly analyze the battle plan.

(to b again)

Oh, man, why can't you send it all at once?

Before answering your question, I'll read you a letter. This is a letter from a child (taking out a letter from his hat as he spoke) after I was fooled twice by you: "Dear uncle bald," (explaining) this "bald" refers to me. "I wrote this letter to you in tears. When I saw that you were cheated by the man in the hat, I was very sad. " I won't call the roll here for those who wear hats. Please don't grab this position with others if you wear a hat at the scene. Because that hat is special. I heard that people are applying for patents. (A tugged at the brim of his hat shyly) We went on to say, "But the adults are laughing. The teacher taught us to be honest children, to tell the truth and not to lie. I said to my father, why did you laugh when the man in the hat cheated Uncle Bald of his money? Dad said to me: when you grow up, if you can't earn money like that bald man, you won't have food. Mom also said: when you grow up, if you are like that bald man, you can't even marry a wife. Even if she is married, she is ugly. I'll ask the teacher this question. I said, teacher, which do you want us to learn, the man in the hat or the bald uncle? But the teacher said, don't learn from any of you, learn from that fat aunt. (C folds the skirt, making a gesture of holding out the chest) But I'm a boy. Bald uncle, let me ask you two questions now. You must answer me truthfully: first, have you married a daughter-in-law? If married, is she ugly? Second, do you have money to spend and food? Hereby! Salute! The person who cares about you the most, the person who loves you the most: Doudou. " Dear Doudou, uncle now answers your first question truthfully. Uncle not only married his daughter-in-law on time with good quality and quantity. Besides, she is much more beautiful and slim than the wife of the man in the hat. (Turn to C) Sister, please forgive me, I didn't mean to, at least I think so. Honestly, you can't lie to children, can you?

C: Nothing. We're embarrassed. Look, your big brother, can he still let me go to America to change the "module"?

B: Now I'll answer Doudou's second question. In other words, it's the problem I just mentioned to my eldest brother. Since I was fooled twice by my eldest brother in full view, I have become the focus of attention. Peace-loving people all over the country and even the world know that I am an honest and reliable person. After that, no one didn't trust me. I went to the street to sell sugar-coated reeds, and the children shouted, "Buy a bald uncle and count his sweetness as a real sugar-coated reed." When I went to the street to sell vegetables, my aunt said, "If you buy him, he is cheap. Once, an old woman weighed two Jin of tomatoes and handed me fifty yuan. She turned her head and left. I stopped her and said, "I haven't given you your change yet." The old woman said happily, "I'll give you five yuan, and you take that fifty yuan out of your pocket." "I really wonder, as people living on the earth, how can there be such a big gap in life? Even when my daughter-in-law went to the street, her envious eyes were "brushing" and she couldn't breathe. That day, a pregnant woman took my daughter-in-law's hand and said excitedly, you are lucky to find a man with a little more than 100%. My daughter-in-law asked: Did you find a eunuch-like vacation? The pregnant woman cried and said, it is not as good as eunuch! When chasing me, the heat was crazy enough to melt me, but before I gave birth to the baby, he found another beautiful young one who didn't go home all day and would divorce me as soon as he got home. Do you think this heartless thing is a real man?

C: Yes, it's a pity that there are not many men like you who have a little more than 100% and don't contain any impurities. Your parents are really not simple. They designed you so perfectly that you were refined to be purer than gold.

A: Pure! Very pure! Purebred people, you stay and sow, you are the sower.

B: Meeting you for the third time ended in your failure. Doudou wrote to me again and said: Uncle Bald, all our classmates are happy for your final victory. You are my idol. I went to get a haircut the next day. Our teacher gave you a Japanese name: no matter how smart a person is, he is stupid.

I think you look Japanese, too.

B: Since then, many foreign bosses have contacted me and asked me to cooperate with them. One of the American bosses told me this: I used to think you were honest and trustworthy, but now I think you are not only reliable, but also smart. You call it long-term fishing for big fish. We need people like you. I want to invite you with a high salary. Guess what he asked me to do?

C: (contemptuously) Watch the gate. It's reliable.

B: scratches (none)

A: Nanny, don't worry!

B: scratches (none)

Do you know any foreign languages?

B: Scrape! (no)

I see. It must be tickling someone.

B: (No) You just tickled someone!

Then why are you scratching ...

B: To tell you the truth, I am now the general manager of the sales department of a foreign company.

A: You can forget it, just you, hum! Just sell a sugar-coated gourd and be the general manager of the sales department?

B: You don't understand! Now everything pays attention to a famous brand, doesn't it? I am a famous brand now, which is a reliable and honest brand. As long as I stand in front of that product, I think it is a real good product. You see, everything I wear has become a famous brand. Oh, and my car. From the day I opened it, its brand became harder and harder.

Your car? (A and C both whisper and look around)

B: Here it is! (Take out a mini car pendant from his pocket, the body falls, and the key is in his hand. )

C: Ha ... toys!

A: This car is for a man with a little more than 100%. …

B: Look carefully. (showing the key) The car is exactly the same. Here's the key. I am driving to thank my brother. If my eldest brother hadn't fooled me in recent years, could I call my name? Can I let foreign bosses make good use of it? Can you create such an honest brand? But once we cross this intersection. Let this content be automatically blocked by the system and insist that I ran a red light. There is a fine. The content of that book has been automatically blocked by the system. Take a closer look, it's me, saying nothing and not letting me drive. He said you should put the car down before driving when you come back. I asked him why. He said that if you drive to see that big fool, you must let others fool your car. And said-

A: Stop it! (A forced B with penetrating eyes, and B was stared at a little confused and dull. )

B: It is this content that has been automatically blocked by the system. A little too much, but it's all for my own good.

A: Not only has this content been automatically blocked by the system, but I won't let you open it! (sharply)

You won't let me drive either? Why? You won't let me drive, will you? The car has been automatically blocked by the system in this content. If you can cheat the car, it means that this content has been automatically blocked by the system. That's the real deal!

If you keep driving, your life will be in danger, you know? The terrible thing is that you are still in the dark!

B: Oh ... ah ... this content has been automatically blocked by the system, which means that you have been seen through, which means that you will come as soon as you say it. I'm telling you, if you can fool the car and say that this content has been automatically blocked by the system, it's yours!

A: You can leave the car, but you can't die!

Hey ... if you say you're bluffing, you're really bluffing. The first time you said there was something wrong with my leg, the second time you said the disease on my leg had transferred to the brain system, and the third time you racked your brains and failed. But you don't believe me. You have to fight me. This time, I was accused of driving too hard. It gets worse every time. You can do whatever you want. I can't believe that the fox with its tail exposed still wants to hurt people!

What are you talking about? You can't just take medicine. Let's go! (Pull C to take two steps and then turn around)

B: Come on! If I don't help you, your plot can't succeed.

But I want you to remember that today may be your anniversary next year! Let's go (turn around and go)

B: Want to slip away? Thirty-six strategies is the best policy, right? Scare people with death. What skill is this? You're scared. Declare failure. Don't keep clamoring for a contest with me in the future-fight if you win, and run if you don't win. This tactic is out of date! My slogan is: fight if you win, fight if you can't win, turn defeat into victory, and never stop until you win.

A: Hey! Morale is very strong! I told you, I didn't slip. I choose silence, and I want to change with constancy. Facts will prove everything.

What facts?

You'll know then. There are two results: one is that you are lying in the emergency room of the hospital; Second, this is probably our last time. I want to see you again, that is, the crematorium, to mourn for you and see you off.

B: Well, neither result is good! Then tell me, I don't believe it. With my vigilance now, your deception can still succeed!

C: He's here to get your car, so be careful!

A: (I'm a little overwhelmed and uncomfortable with the expression of C's resentment)

Are you out of your mind?

This is his weakness.

What deficiency?

It's modesty that makes me sick.

B: I heard that pride is a disease. It seems that modesty is also a disease?

A: Then I'd better not say it, lest you get the wrong idea.

B: Say it! Must say! I want to see how serious your humble illness is!

A: Well, let me ask you, when you crossed the intersection just now, did you deliberately run a red light, or did you not see it clearly?

B: At that time, it didn't feel like a red light, so I was confused. This content was automatically blocked by the system.

A: That means you didn't see the red light at all, but this content was automatically blocked by the system, saying that you ran a red light, right?

You could say that. (expression dragged)

Let me ask you again, did you notice the green light?

Oh, I remember! I remember it was a green light at that time!

A: This is the problem. In fact, you didn't run a red light at all.

B: Run the green light. This content has been automatically blocked by the system. What is this? This content has been automatically blocked by the system! (angrily)

A: This content has been automatically blocked by the system. Yes, there is something wrong with your eyes.

B: What's the matter?

A: Color blindness! Do you know what color blindness is?

B: That is to say, there is no distinction between red and green, red is regarded as green and green as red.

A: That's right. When you drove past the intersection just now, it was a red light. You should stop. But you just took the red light as a green light and didn't stop. So this content has been automatically blocked by the system to stop you! It's that simple, it's not complicated at all!

I see! Alas, why haven't I found out that I have this problem?

A: According to my analysis, you got sick after driving!