On this day, I inadvertently jumped on the hot search, which made netizens recall unpleasant experiences.
Have a memory of being beaten:
Have to say the feeling of sadness in my heart:
There are still people going back:
Some solutions are also envisaged:
We are all children, and our parents are the most powerful and powerful beings in the children's world. At that time, they were our only support. When we are not understood and treated well, the collapse of this sense of trust and dependence may be beyond our parents' understanding. Even from their point of view, they will think, "I'm doing this for your own good, and you'll understand when you grow up."
But when I grow up, I often think of my experience of being beaten for something, and the fear and helplessness at that time will still haunt me at this moment. Even when I grow up, I will still feel sad.
Getting along with parents is a difficult problem we have been facing all our lives. Not only is childhood "beaten", but adolescence also faces many problems.
When I was in junior high school, there was a girl in my class. She was very small and lovely. We live in bunk beds in the same dormitory. She always doesn't eat for a while. After I got to know her better, she told me that she is a child of a single-parent family, her mother is a strong woman, she has a business at home and a younger brother. Mom often forgets to give her money, seasonal clothes and quilts because she is busy.
Later I learned that her family is actually very rich. But this girl, because she is stubborn, doesn't want to talk to her mother. When she was poorest, she could only eat one dollar of bread a day. When she woke up hungry in the middle of the night, she wanted to drink water. I always remember it, and I always feel very distressed. Up to now, she has gone home and inherited the management right of the enterprise. Maybe she has forgiven her mother. But I always remember how she spent a bad adolescence, and it still hurts to think about it now.
Adolescence has been so difficult, but too many parents have missed the growth of their children in this unique period of life. Once, in the interactive column, we asked you, did you experience a particularly difficult thing or feel particularly troubled during your adolescence? So how did you spend it? If you had a chance to give a piece of advice to the parents of adolescent children, what would you say?
The following is the story of KY fans.
0 1.
What I want to tell my mother most is not to distract me from my study because of the difficulties at home, and not to tell the big and small things at home. For so many years, I feel that my sense of participation in family affairs is very low, because you and dad always think that I am still young and should not worry me. But in fact, children are very sensitive, and I can always vaguely feel that something is wrong, so there is always a sense of uneasiness, and therefore I missed many growth opportunities that I should have missed.
02.
When I was twelve years old, I was sent to a local private middle school. Tuition is expensive, but family conditions are not very good. The students around me have excellent living conditions, but I scrimp and save every day because I know that there is not so much money for me at home. The students are all wearing famous brands. In that place where mobile phones are not popular, everyone uses all kinds of small foreign-style mobile phones, but I don't. This has brought a great blow to my mind. I feel inferior. I shut myself off. I hid in other people's world through reading ... I silently endured three years of inferiority complex and finally graduated from there. My parents never knew this.
03.
As a teenager, I was bullied. When I grow up, I even hate that school At that time, my parents said, "You need two slaps" or simply said, "Who made you ugly and others looked at you unhappy?" Now it's "What do you want us to do?" I just want to say that children sometimes don't need you to appear as a hero, let alone bitter sarcasm, just need your gentle comfort.
04.
Being beaten by my mother, pulling my hair, slapping me in the face and hitting me hysterically was originally for your own good, but because I can't meet her requirements, I feel that living is meaningless, unhappy, let alone confident. She keeps saying that you are not confident, but you don't know that confident children are loved. She won't admit it's her fault until I grow up. I don't think she'll ever admit it.
05.
I want to say to adolescent parents, trust your child, and when the child has any problems, choose to stand with the child instead of trusting others' slander. When children encounter problems at school, please choose to sit down and talk instead of scolding them face to face. Although adolescent children are rebellious, they are not as ignorant as their parents think.
06.
As a left-behind child, I have never been close to my parents since I was a child. Adolescence is the age when girls need to buy underwear. Because I was shy, I was not close to my mother. It was not until the third year of high school that I minced into an underwear store and chose one myself. What I want to tell my parents is that adolescent children are rebellious and awkward. In recent years, when physical and psychological changes have taken place, they are likely to be at a loss and ashamed to speak. It will be of great help to parents if they can take the initiative at this time.
07.
A teacher in junior high school is famous for her strictness and high teaching quality. When I was thirteen, I was sent to that class. Teachers do have their own unique teaching skills, but they have been exerting mental oppression on all students. When students behave well, she will praise you as Tsinghua Peking University material. Once you make a mistake or behave badly, she will make you feel hopeless in life. Teenagers have not formed a complete world outlook and fixed thinking mode, but only obey authority. I didn't know until I grew up that I had suffered from verbal violence for three years, and my personality was greatly affected and became extremely extreme. Even now I am in my twenties, I sometimes dream that the head teacher scolds me in front of the whole class, saying that because of a student like me, she can't get the title of excellent head teacher for three years. I have been thinking that if I become a parent in the future, I just hope that my children will grow up in an ordinary environment, not always accompanied by depressed emotions. As for grades, it doesn't matter. It is important that he can grow into a person with a healthy world outlook and a sound personality.
08.
I don't know if you have ever experienced a life without pocket money. Really, one! Divide! Both! Don't! Here! The family is not poor at all. From time to time, there are big fish and big meat, and I don't care about anything but give me pocket money! There are too many things in adolescence, which makes people feel that the relationship with money is unhealthy. My advice to parents is: don't threaten children with money!
09.
My parents are against falling in love in grade two. Although I didn't force it to stop, my mother was very sad. I still don't understand why. Dad asked me to come in and comfort my crying mother. I didn't know what to say at that time. I feel strangely uncomfortable. I can't give up my girlfriend. I don't know why my mother doesn't give me room to communicate. Just say, "Mom, I'm sorry." Mother sobbed and asked, "Do you know where you are wrong?" I turned and left the room. I want to say to my mother at that time: "since you refused me to love others, you have become the most difficult person for me to love."
10.
The family I came from didn't give me a warm feeling, and my parents always quarreled. Parents in China generally don't like to express their love in words. They think that love is true in action, but words are equally important. Seriously, try not to argue too much in front of the children. The children will be embarrassed.
1 1.
I am a girl with poor family conditions, and I can't keep up with my classmates in dress. So I was bullied by girls at school, and teachers often targeted me. I can only play with boys who have poor grades but are loyal. They are all poor students. I climbed the wall with them and went to the internet cafe to fight. They all take care of me and are my only friends in adolescence. But later, my parents were called to school because they were caught by the class teacher in the Internet cafe. The teacher laughed at me in front of my parents and said that I had seduced boys and mixed with them since I was a child. My parents might feel embarrassed, so they went home and beat me up. Later, my personality became extreme and I had no friends anymore. I want to tell adolescent parents not to think their children are "bastards" surfing the Internet. Maybe they are just lonely and need warmth.
12.
It's not just adolescence, but my life today has been bothering me. Father is a grumpy person, and his expression is often throwing things. He takes it for granted that you really miss him. So now I hear a little noise at home. There will be psychological shadows. I think someone will be angry the next second. I am also tired of explaining my inner thoughts to him. I have spent many years in inferiority complex. Fortunately, I often cheer myself up, so now my life is getting better and better, and people are becoming more and more confident. I sincerely hope that parents can have less emotions and more trust.
13.
Senior one, a person goes to the neighboring city to study in high school. No friends, no cell phone (it's been 20 1x years, and my mother didn't give me a cell phone). There is no infirmary in the school, and residents are restricted from entering and leaving. I have always been afraid of teachers, and I dare not let them open access cards. After living on mineral water for four days, I cried and told my mother how lonely I was, how hard I was, and how much I missed home. My mom said it was your choice, and I didn't ask you to come. Because of this phone call, my mother and I started an irreparable estrangement. My life, my thoughts, have never been actively shared with my mother again.
Those three years were very hard, and they were all carried down by themselves, constantly hinting at themselves and being admitted to the university. If I go back to senior one, I will say: I don't really want to come back to you, I just want you to say, "Mom is here, come on."
14.
The most painful thing in adolescence is the bondage of freedom. Girls are not allowed to have long hair, wear their favorite clothes or dress up according to their own personality at school. What's even more frightening is that my parents don't want to treat me like a girl and ask me to abide by the "norms" all the time and not relax. They don't buy me new clothes, so it's "enough" to wear clothes that my sisters have eliminated. I only had a short communication with a few boys during my adolescence. No, in retrospect, I didn't have any adolescence. I only studied in Gray for six years. Many years later, I am just a schoolmaster in their memory, and I may not even be a "headmistress". I just hope that I am a "girl" and I am silently with the person I like.
15.
I am in a love class in junior high school. My classmate's parents are not school teachers, but local civil servants and bank presidents. In the third grade, the parents of classmates gave gifts to the class teacher one after another. I don't study well and don't let my family go to the class teacher. The head teacher will deliberately embarrass me. Obviously, I entered the classroom at the same time as my classmates, but I was asked to stand as a punishment and call my parents. Another classmate walked in safely. Later, I learned that his father was the president of the bank and had already greeted the teacher. At that time, I didn't think I was wrong, so I insisted on not calling my parents. Every day, the head teacher will deliberately run to my seat to be sarcastic. I worry that the teacher will call my parents to school at any time every day. I look at the faces of the head teacher and my family carefully every day. I'm particularly scared. Now that I think about it, I want to hug myself at that time. Thank you very much. I want to tell the parents of adolescent children to pay more attention to their personality changes, don't just stare at their grades, and hug them with the best love.
16.
I have been struggling with my weight, figure and related trivial matters all my adolescence, and it is not completely over yet. Because my mother is thin, my father is not fat, and they are not bombarded by pop culture, and many times they can't understand my behavior at all. Sometimes I feel overwhelmed and overeating. When I tell them, they just feel ridiculous. In fact, you can't criticize them. After all, things that have not been experienced are hard to understand. But in this process, I will feel extremely lonely. If adolescent parents can see it, I hope you will be more tolerant and understanding than selfless love, even if it is something you have never experienced and feel ridiculous.
17.
The most difficult thing in the whole adolescence is probably facing the family reorganized by my father. Stepmother is a very young and ambitious woman. When I was in primary school, she and my father had not given birth to my brother. She was very kind to me at that time, and I thought it was true. Later, she had a younger brother and sister. From then on, she couldn't see how good her father was to me. My father wanted to send me abroad, so she scolded me in front of many relatives. My dad almost gave up on me under her long-term brainwashing.
I am a reasonable person. Even if my stepmother makes trouble, I can make my thoughts and opinions clear to my father. He will always support me and respect me. For nearly ten years, I am grateful to my father for his support behind me. I have been wronged at home, and my father will talk to his stepmother and their family. Without my father's trust and persistence, I might have collapsed.
If you say a word to the parents of adolescent children, I hope you can treat each child as an independent individual, trust him, respect him, listen to him and love him.
18.
Menstruation has only been half a year, and it is still in an irregular stage. Once it was delayed for more than 20 days, my mother gave various explicit hints: "Your period hasn't come yet?" "The adult who hasn't been here for so long is pregnant." "Did you do it?" ..... even a box of pregnancy test sticks suddenly appeared at home, and it was placed where I must see it. Although my parents have never educated me about sex, I know everything I need to know, and the truth of leading an honest and clean life is clear. But they don't choose to believe that my menstruation is still irregular. Instead, they think that I married the boy who rolled the sheets casually and didn't treat me well for more than half a month. Finally, I suggested going to the hospital. The doctor, an aunt, only said, "She is only 14, and it is normal that menstruation is not allowed." My mother laughed at once. Can parents choose to trust their children first?
19.
In the second day of junior high school, I was slandered by the same ID on the bbs of all schools, which was vicious and vulgar, and also published my personal information. Originally, I was a "other people's child", but this incident changed my life and I was forced to become "famous" at once. The phone kept ringing, and I was pointed at at school, and someone blocked me at the school gate. Family and teachers know nothing about it. Finally, I couldn't hold on any longer and dropped out of school.
In retrospect, I actually don't trust the teacher, I don't trust my parents, and I don't know how to ask for help when I encounter something that can't be solved. Later, when I moved away from home, I became very extreme and depressed. This shadow has followed me for twenty years. I'm not married and have no children. I have nothing to say to my parents, but I want to tell my children that you should trust your parents and teachers, and don't try to take the responsibility of bullying yourself, let alone punish yourself with other people's mistakes.
20.
When I was in junior high school, my parents let me stay at my aunt's house. My aunt is strict. My parents work in other places and have no money. My parents have always been passive in front of menstruation, so I never dared to speak loudly at home for three years in junior high school. I will never let my children depend on others. Now I'm almost 30, and I'm afraid of menstruation.
2 1.
I want to tell parents that if your child is tired of learning, or tells you that he is being bullied, don't ignore it. Please be patient with him and sit down and talk to him. You think it's just children's fun. You don't know that my whole life has been ruined by this.
Every child silently expects that when the whole world doesn't believe in themselves, mom and dad can say: My child, I believe in him. Instead of using words or actions to suppress the "calm" on the surface of children.
Every time a child is beaten, his body and mind will be hurt.
Physiology: the back of the head-may cause some respiratory failure complications. The temple-the temple was hit, which may be unfavorable to the development of the optic nerve. Twist your ear-it may cause perforation of the eardrum. Spanking-may cause spinal injury in children.
Psychological aspects: The study found that some children who were beaten by their parents in public places will have symptoms similar to PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder), mainly due to explosion injuries, and will also induce other psychological problems, such as extreme depression, refusal to socialize or even suicide, and self-injury tendency ...
"A dutiful son is born under a stick" is no longer an educational method suitable for the new era.
Today's push is for parents and children all over the world.
Thanks to the world, after so many experiences, we have finally grown steadily into adults, which also gives us a chance to be better parents and cultivate happier children.