Three beliefs to help children succeed in school and life. ※:
1. I can do it
In order to form a belief in their abilities, children need a safe environment, so that they can explore the consequences of their choices and actions in an atmosphere that does not judge success or failure-without blame, humiliation or pain. )
My contribution is valuable and people really need me.
In order to form a belief in their own value in important relationships, children need to experience that their feelings, thoughts and ideas are listened to and taken seriously. They need to know that I am important and valuable. )
3. I can make a choice on my own and have a positive impact on what happens to me and my team.
In order for children to use this power in a beneficial way in their lives, they need to have the opportunity to contribute in a beneficial way in an encouraging but responsible environment. )
Four skills to help children succeed in school and life. ※:
1. I am very self-disciplined and self-controlled.
A classroom with positive discipline is a good place for students to know their feelings, express their feelings and develop their ability of sympathy and emotion. )
I can work with others with mutual respect.
A disciplined classroom provides the best opportunity for children to develop their social skills through dialogue and sharing, listening to feelings, cooperation, negotiation and conflict resolution. )
I understand how my actions will affect others.
A classroom with positive discipline is a place where students can cope with the limitations and consequences of daily life with responsibility, adaptability and integrity. )
I can develop my wisdom and judgment through daily practice.
Only when children have the opportunity to evaluate problems through their conscious awareness and perception of what is happening around them can they develop their own judgment. )
In short, positive discipline will be effective when teachers are willing to give up control over students and work with them in a cooperative way.
The most important task of educators, some people say, is a sacred duty, which is to ensure that no child loses confidence in the school, and that children who lost confidence before entering school regain confidence through the school and teachers. This is consistent with the bounden duty of educators, because education is possible only when children are full of hope and joy for the future.
Alfred Adler
Psychologist Rudolf Drex said that a child with bad behavior is a child who has lost confidence. In other words, when children think they have no sense of belonging, they will make "bad behavior"-they choose a wrong way to seek a sense of belonging and self-worth. When teachers only deal with children's behavior (what they can only see), they don't deal with the loss of confidence that inspires this behavior. We call this part hidden under the surface "the belief behind the behavior".
Understand the underwater part of the iceberg.
Children always make subconscious decisions based on their own perception of life experiences or personal logic.
Children don't realize that they have been making these decisions-decisions centered on their need for belonging and self-worth-but these decisions have become beliefs that affect their behavior.
When children have a sense of security, that is, a sense of belonging and self-worth, they will thrive. When children think they have no sense of belonging and value, they will take the behavior of survival. ("Survival behavior" is often called "bad behavior")
Three r' s caused by punishment ※
1. Rebellion: They can't force me. I want to do what I want.
2. Revenge: I want revenge and fight back, even if it endangers my future.
3. Retreat: A. Inferiority: I must be a bad person? Sneaky: I won't let them catch me next time.
As long as we change ourselves, we can change our whole life and the attitudes of people around us.
Rudolph Drex
Too many adults expect their children to develop wisdom and good judgment without practice, mistakes and trial and error. Active discipline gives children enough time to practice. Mutual respect and students' participation are the necessary foundation of positive discipline. Kindness and firmness will stimulate children's self-confidence, and often help them experience a sense of belonging and self-worth, thus improving their behavior.
1. A kind and firm leader will let children know that mistakes are opportunities for learning.
2. A kind and firm leader replaces praise and reward with encouragement.
3. A kind and firm leader establishes a daily routine list with the help of students.
Call parents, teachers and students to attend the tripartite meeting (make an "encouragement form").
Five guiding principles for formulating conventions. ※
1. Focus on one problem at a time.
We'll discuss this problem when everyone calms down.
3. Use visualization methods, such as tables and lists.
4. Practice through role-playing.
Once a convention is formed, it should be faithfully observed.
Losing confidence is the root of all bad behavior.
Rudolph Drex
A student with bad behavior is a student who has lost confidence. When students think they have no sense of belonging, they usually choose one of the following four wrong behaviors:
1. Seeking excessive attention
I think I am important only when I get attention.
Seek power
The important thing is that only by resisting others' attempts to control themselves can we keep ourselves under control.
retaliate
He thinks that he has been hurt, no one loves himself, no one likes himself, and only by hurting those who stand in his way can he be even.
Give up yourself
I think no matter what I do, I'm not doing well enough, so I choose to give up trying.
See with another person's eyes, hear with another person's ears and feel with another person's heart. For me at present, this is an acceptable definition of what we call "social emotion".
Alfred Adler
Seven factors affecting students' sense of belonging. ※:
1. Feel like a member of the school.
2. For example, schools
3. Recognize the teacher's support and concern for himself.
4. Have good friends at school
5. Be committed to your present and future academic progress.
6. Believe that the school discipline is fair and effective.
7. Participate in extracurricular activities
Establish emotional connection
Students think that teachers care about them, which is the primary factor for them to feel emotional connection (sense of belonging and self-worth).
When you find out who Mr. Chu is, encourage them to regard their mistakes as opportunities for learning and growth, and believe that they have the ability to make meaningful contributions, students will know that you care about them.
When students feel that you are listening to them and taking their thoughts and feelings seriously, they will know that you care about them.
When you respect them enough and let them participate in the decision-making process, they will know that you care about them.
They will know that you care about them when you help them understand the consequences of their choices in a non-threatening environment that encourages problem solving rather than punishment.
Attitudes and skills of emotional connection
1. Listen carefully and treat children.
Conduct a field trip
Appreciate uniqueness
4. Use your sense of humor to connect your resume with your emotions.
5. Establish emotional connection by respecting students' extracurricular interests.
From the proposer's point of view, all views are correct.
Rudolph Drex
From hindering the communication of emotional connection to promoting the communication of emotional connection.
1. Hypothesis and verification
It's easy to think that you know what students think and feel without asking them.
You should promote communication through verification-ask some enlightening questions-don't assume.
2. Rescue, interpretation and exploration
Rescue and explanation are obstacles to communication. When you do things for students instead of letting them learn from their own experiences, you may think that you are caring for or helping them. Similarly, you may think that you are helping students by explaining things to them instead of letting them find their own explanations. As everyone knows, all the above behaviors hinder the emotional connection between teachers and students.
3. Order, invitation and encouragement
Too many instructions will enhance children's dependence, eliminate initiative and willingness to cooperate, and encourage passive attacks.
Students should participate in some planning and problem-solving activities to help them become self-directed.
Orders will lead to passive or active resistance and rebellion, while invitations will encourage cooperation.
4. Expectation and affirmation
Teachers have high expectations of students and think that students' potential is very important. However, if this potential becomes the standard, and you make negative comments on them because they don't meet this standard, you will make them lose confidence.
Look for opportunities to affirm children's achievements and uniqueness, not just expectations.
5. "Adults" and respect
When teachers forget that children are not mature adults and expect them to think and act like adults, that is "adulthood."
When you respect your students, you will realize that you and your students have different views. Respect creates an atmosphere of acceptance and encourages growth and effective communication. Don't judge what others don't understand, but encourage students to seek understanding of themselves and others.
Four communication skills of authorization ※
1. Keep your promise
If you only say it once and then carry it out, the students will know that you mean it. They'll pay attention. The difficulty is that before you say it, you must think it over carefully to ensure that you can carry it out in action.
2. Less is more
If you notice that your students are not paying attention, the situation seems to be out of control. Try to be brief. Try to use one word.
There is nothing wrong with democracy that more democracy cannot solve.
Rudolph Drex
Can you imagine what your class would be like if your students focused on solving problems? In fact, can you imagine what the world would be like if everyone focused on solving problems? We will achieve world peace.
Do you have to feel worse to do better?
Where do we get ridiculous ideas? In order to make people do better, we should first make them feel worse. People can only do better if they are in a good mood.
3r1h is used to solve problems. ※
1. Relevance: The solution should be directly related to the behavior.
2. Respect: No matter what the solution is, teachers and students should maintain a respectful attitude in behavior and tone.
3. Reasonable: The solution should be reasonable-no punishment.
4. Beneficial: Solutions should help students do better and solve problems.
Once the students discuss a solution to a problem collectively, it is very important for the student who caused the problem to choose the one he or she thinks is the most helpful. This will encourage children to develop a sense of responsibility in a safe environment.
Four steps to solve the problem ※
1. Ignore the problem.
(1) Do other things
(2) Leave enough time for a cooling-off period.
2. Talk about problems in a respectful way.
Tell each other how you feel.
(2) Listen to the other person's feelings.
Tell me about your responsibility on this issue.
Tell each other what you are willing to do.
3. Reach a mutually agreed solution
Make a plan to share or take turns.
Find a way to fix it.
Try to repair the damage.
If you can't solve the problem together, ask for help.
Put this question on the agenda of the class meeting.
Children are our biggest undeveloped resource.
When they learn relevant skills, they will have rich wisdom and talent for solving problems, and when they participate in solving problems, they will bring countless benefits.
When students participate in developing solutions, they not only use and improve their skills, but also are more likely to follow them, because this is their own solution.
When students are listened to and valued, and their contributions are valued, they will cultivate self-confidence and emotional connection. Because they feel that they are part of the class, they have less chance to do bad behavior, and they are more willing to try to find a solution to the problem.
We are always encouraging or undermining the confidence of people around us, thus greatly enhancing or weakening their ability to perform normally.
Rudolph Drex
1. Limited choices
2. Class affairs
Just do it, don't say it.
4. Heuristic questions
5. The problem of migration behavior
6. Doing nothing (natural result)
7. decide what to do by yourself
8. Say "No" respectfully
9. Treat every student equally
10. Active suspension
1 1. One small step at a time
What is bullying?
Bullying: Repeated and intentional cruelty or injury to a person who is difficult to protect himself.
Three common misunderstandings about bullying;
1. If children have never seen their parents (or teachers) bully others, nor have they seen imitators, they will never learn how to bully others.
As long as we deal with the bully's children, there is no problem.
3. Adults must correct it.
If a child doesn't do well, there will be a seesaw battle. The teacher will blame the students' parents for her problems. She often asks them to exert influence to improve their children's academic performance or behavior. Usually, she will teach parents the responsibility to help their children with their studies, especially their homework. This practice of teachers has greatly caused unhappiness in students' families and enhanced children's resistance to learning.
Rudolph Drex
Problems caused by homework
First, homework does not cultivate students' sense of self-guidance, but teaches many children. Their homework and grades are more important to parents and teachers than themselves. This makes children sad, so they may choose to make their parents and teachers sad and prove that you can't force me by refusing to do homework.
Secondly, to make homework more challenging, children already have countless extracurricular activities to be busy.
Thirdly, teachers not only seldom solve homework problems with students, but always take the attitude of "I know best" and regard the completion of homework as a necessary condition for passing a course.
Talking with students will be of great help in solving many difficulties in homework. The assignment of homework can be the result of teachers and students solving problems together. Discussing all these problems will be an excellent theme for the class meeting.
Students, teachers and parents don't have to suffer for excellent academic performance. When a sense of belonging and self-worth are considered as important as excellent academic performance, everyone will benefit from it. When all parties concerned respect each other and solve problems together, students will do better.
If people know how to use their knowledge to benefit all mankind, we can reach heaven.
Rudolph Drex
8 Skills of Class Meeting ※
1. form a circle.
Express gratitude and gratitude
3. Respect differences
4. Use respectful communication skills
Focus on solutions
6. Role-playing and brainstorming
7. Use the agenda and class meeting procedures
8. Understanding and using four wrong purposes