1, did you buy nice clothes that you only dare to wear when traveling to strange cities?

2. Are you always unable to express yourself calmly when taking pictures, and will you feel ashamed when facing the camera?

The best thing to wear to work is sweaters and pants. It takes a lot of courage to wear a skirt. I am most afraid that my colleagues will suddenly say that you are dressed beautifully today. Do you have an appointment?

4. Go out to play with your girlfriend. When you go out, you know that your girlfriend has a boyfriend. You immediately change the sling into a T-shirt that doesn't show the mountain and doesn't leak, and even gruff in front of your girlfriend's boyfriend, deliberately reducing your feminine charm.

If you have ever had the above behavior, congratulations, you have been diagnosed. What is beauty? As the name implies, it is a kind of negative emotion that you have because of your appearance, but the strange thing is that you may be tempted whether you think you are good-looking or not. If you think you are ugly, you will feel inferior and anxious. If you are a recognized beauty, you will also feel pressure because of your appearance.

Why is beauty and shame such a dilemma?

Beauty shame has nothing to do with your real appearance, but with the eyes of others imagined in our minds. This disease is actually based on interpersonal communication. When you feel that you are not beautiful, that kind of anxiety may not only come from how to become beautiful, but also from the embarrassing situation of imagining whether you will dress up beautifully, be fully armed but still not look good and be called ugly by others. And if you are a beautiful woman, your outstanding appearance will still bring some unnecessary troubles to your life, such as the gaze and harassment of the opposite sex, the hostility of the same sex, the strength under the cover of beauty and so on. You deeply realize that the beauty envied by others is actually not pleasing in life and workplace. It can be seen that no matter whether you are beautiful or not, appearance is a troublesome thing.

We have always lived in a cultural environment, which implicitly increased the weight of the king. Shall we pretend to roll up and die effortlessly? We are eager to surpass others, and we are even more eager to win a great victory easily and effortlessly, showing a supernatural effect of turning to ashes in conversation and laughter. What this culture makes everyone feel is not the happiness of progress, but the ubiquitous sense of fatigue and shame.

So how can we avoid this beautiful shame?

I want to tell you that what can defeat shame is not the death of appearance, nor the fact that beauty becomes a normal state, but the acceptance of who we are, no matter our imperfections, our mess, or the despair that no matter how hard we try. In other words, accepting yourself frankly is to completely quit this meaningless involution game and get rid of the pressure that you can't get rid of no matter what you do. I accept me as I am, so your evaluation is free. I will take care of whoever likes to take care of me. After accepting the objective reality, this imperfection can sometimes become our motivation. Just like Lennon in My Genius Girlfriend, after accepting his own background, he realized that he should face up to his own background and experience step by step and cultivate his own mind and willfulness. What once dragged him down has now become his upward motivation. Accept yourself for who you are. Those shames are all bring disgrace to oneself.