One day twenty-four years ago, Aunt Zou pointed to my mother's belly and asked, Xiaojie, do you think the baby in Aunt Chen's belly is a sister or a brother?

Three-year-old Xiaojie cocked his head, full of joy, and blurted out: "Sister!" Before his mother could ask why, he publicly said that with my sister, I could protect her, and then I would become a hero. . . . Say that finish and ran away.

Who knows what is going on? I was born a girl and became his sister. Summer in the south is very humid. Outside the window, naughty cicadas are singing.

I looked down on the windowsill and found that the mottled shadows in the sun superimposed into small golden flowers. I think it's really a waste for adults to spend a beautiful afternoon sleeping. And every afternoon comes, my body seems to be covered with green, longing for the unknown scenery outside the window. Brother Xiaojie's whistle always rings when his mother is asleep. I carefully put my little hand close to my mother's nose, even breathing made me itch, and my mother fell asleep. I slipped out of the house happily, and Doby Ant had a water fight with Xiaojie's brother in the strongest sun. . . .

Teacher Xia lives on the top floor. Her hairstyle was the most popular "messy nest" curly hair at that time. She is wearing a cool blue skirt and has all kinds of vanishing cream on her face. We don't like her. Because her husband is the head of the government department, she feels superior. Not only did she go to the kindergarten to "bully" the children who were "unfriendly" to her son, but she also refused to let her son play with us.

At noon that day, Brother Xiaojie and I went to the small garden on the roof to catch dragonflies and ran around. Brother Xiaojie suddenly took out a palette and white paper from behind and drew it under the shady grape trellis. He drew a dragonfly, and a little girl with a big head was chasing the dragonfly and running crooked. He said, look, this is you. Hum, am I that ugly? I pursed my lips. I want to feel vain. A thin and ugly girl thinks she is beautiful.

I turned my head angrily, my brother ran after me, and we ran and ran. A warm wind blew, and my brother accidentally threw himself on the hanging white sheets. I saw the sheets falling to the ground with the wind, and he poked his head out of the sheets, his thin little eyes shining, and the sweat on his forehead shining.

I saw this list of Mr Xia Hang this morning. It fell to the ground, so dirty that we all died. When I was thinking about what to do, Xiaojie smiled. Like it or not, he just rolled on the paper, flattened it, unfolded it, picked up the palette and brush, and drew. A few minutes later, my brother's masterpiece has banished my fear to the outside world.

The white sheet lay quietly on the ground, and my brother's brush gave it a bright soul: a fresh rainbow, an orchard after the rain, where grapes, peaches and ice cream trees were planted. . . He looked back at me and said proudly, you see, I planted an ice cream tree, so I can eat ice cream whenever I want. . . We look forward to the day when ice cream is eaten every day, as if it really grows from trees.

Children's practical jokes cannot escape the eyes of adults. That night, "evil deeds" were exposed. Teacher Xia reported to the adults. My mother fined me for an hour, not only to apologize, but also to write a review.

Brother Jacko is no better than me. Aunt Zou punished him for kneeling for three hours and wrote a review.

My brother took the review from Aunt Zou's drawer and secretly showed it to me, because I couldn't write it. I remember my brother wrote this: At noon today, I smashed the roof, stained the white sheets of Teacher Xia's house, and drew an ice cream tree on it. Drawing is a trivial matter, but I can't draw on other people's sheets, and I can't teach my sister well. This shows that I don't cherish the fruits of other people's labor and set a bad example for my sister. If we don't correct it, even the smallest mistake will become a big one. I must take this as a warning and be a sensible child in the future. 1990 July

I said, what do you mean by "taking a warning"? My brother gave me a casual look and ignored me. In my opinion, the fourth grade is higher than the first grade.

At that time, I vaguely knew from my mother that Xiaojie's brother's father was the director, and Aunt Zou didn't want her son to be spoiled like other official children. She is strict with her brother and has high expectations. My mother often jokes that if you don't listen, I will give you to Aunt Zou as my daughter. Every time I hear my mother say that, I am too scared to sleep.

Later my brother told me that he knew that if he made trouble, he would be severely punished by his mother. At that time, he was still young, and the process of being naughty was really attractive to him. Even if he is severely punished occasionally, he is not afraid at all. When he said this, my brother smiled a little helplessly. He was seven years old that year. two

Aunt Zou often says that "in the future, the social competition will be fierce, so we have to start with the doll", "If you give him a happy today, it will ruin his happy tomorrow" and "Learn to invest intellectually". . . I often hear these words in a daze. Brother is in the fifth grade. Aunt Zou bought him an organ and specially invited a local famous teacher to teach it.

My brother is very clever and gifted at playing the piano. Soon, when I was playing house with my children on the playground, I could hear the piano sound from my brother's house. Sometimes it's "twinkling stars", sometimes it's "Smurfs". It's really great. One day after dinner, I played bouncing in the bunker. Brother Jacko waved to me downstairs. Come here. Come here.

As soon as I heard this, I ran over.

Brother, why don't you play the piano today? My mother is not at home, hehe, I really want to come out to play, but this song has not been practiced yet, and the teacher will check it this weekend.

I nodded and said, then you continue to practice. . .

Don't go, I'll peel the apple and eat it. Let's split it 50/50. I will cut it with a knife.

That day, Brother Xiaojie and I didn't eat that half apple.

He couldn't find a fruit knife, so he cut the apple with a big vegetable knife. As a result, because of the excessive force, the vegetable knife cut off half the nails of his right index finger, and the flesh of his finger clung tightly to the cut nails, which was very painful. My half of the apple was dyed blood red, and my brother's fingers were wrapped by the doctor, so he couldn't get wet or exert himself for a week.

When I went to see my brother, Aunt Zou looked unhappy and nagged that she couldn't practice the piano for a week. . . Sitting on the sofa, I felt sorry for my brother. My brother winked cunningly and secretly told me that I didn't need to practice piano for a week. That smiling face is full of energy.

Brother is in the sixth grade. Aunt Zou sent him to the Children's Palace to learn English. The window of his room is covered with pictures of ABC, and the dense letter pictures make the sun never shine in again. In the city english competition, my brother won the first prize reluctantly. Adults on campus all praise that Director Su's son is different from other officials' children. Teacher Zou is really good at teaching children.

Soon, Uncle Su was promoted, Aunt Zou moved to work, and the whole family moved away.

Brother Xiaojie gave me an ink pen with an ice cream tree on it. I wanted to laugh that day, but it didn't work. My tears rolled like a gurgling mountain spring. In the future, no one will block the "sandbag" for me, no more twinkling stars, no more ice cream trees. It will cost fifty cents to eat ice cream in the future.

According to my mother, in the new school, Xiaojie's brother worked hard and became the best student in the class. Three years later, he was admitted to the best local key high school with the first place in the city. Aunt Zou invited her former friends and colleagues to dinner. During the dinner, there were countless confusing compliments and polite toasts. Adults are so boring. I said to myself.

At the gate of the restaurant, I met Brother Xiaojie. He has grown a lot, and his voice seems a little different from before, disorganized and inaudible. But still thin and pale. I think his back is a little old. I know, my brother is fifteen, and he is not old at all, but what makes me think he is old? three

One night a year later, my mother received a phone call.

That night, I had a high fever and vaguely heard a woman crying badly on the other end of the phone, and her voice was shaking all the time. My mother has been comforting each other, sighing and giving me hot exchange towels.

The next day, Aunt Zou came to our house.

As soon as I entered the room, I saw her trapped in the sofa from a distance, looking at me with a haggard face and red eyes. This makes it impossible to connect with the smart and capable Aunt Zou. I'm a little scared. I don't even want to make a sound when I walk.

She suddenly grabbed my hand and said, Xiaojie is gone, he is gone, he is gone. . . Before I knew it, my mother ran out and said, go in, go in.

Why did Brother Xiaojie leave? Gone? I remember that my brother's thin figure once gave me an old feeling, and the more I thought about it, the more scared I became. My brother ran away from home. However, where will he go? Running away from home is only for bad children, and adults think so. Brother Xiaojie is a good boy that everyone likes. It doesn't make sense.

I heard that three days later, my brother came home, looking dirty and hungry.

Mom just told me that my brother is in adolescence and a little rebellious, so he wants to run away. Mom also said that you should not do this in the future, it will scare adults. I nodded puzzled.

My brother wrote to tell me that he hated Aunt Zou and all her arrangements. Life in No.1 Middle School is like a prison. Aunt Zou kept putting pressure on him to get the first place in the exam, take part in various competitions he didn't like at all, peek at his diary, forbid him to associate with female classmates, and come home on time every day after school. . . In ignorance, I found that what made me feel that my brother was old that day was actually the melancholy and despair that emanated from him.

16-year-old boy, there is no sunshine in his eyes, but there are countless sadness and anger. After reading the letter, I felt very confused, but there was nothing I could do at such a young age. After many years, I understand that my brother who is used to being "arranged" is reluctant, and no one can help him. No one can persuade his mean and stubborn mother to give up her self-righteous "training plan"

Aunt Zou is getting more and more neurotic. Brother's door is not allowed to be closed, drawers are not allowed to be locked, and diaries are checked repeatedly. During the day, the pressure of schoolwork is great, but after returning home, every move is under monitoring.

In my brother's letter, he said that he didn't like math and physics and didn't want to study science. He was tired of the oppression and suffocation at home and wanted to run away from home. Aunt Zou said that if you learn math and physics well, you won't be afraid to travel around the world. My son was born to study, so he must study science. It's no use studying liberal arts. My brother is about to cry. He turned to the class teacher and classmates for help, hoping that they could persuade Aunt Zou to cry as he did when he was a child. He said he wanted to be a cartoonist, even in his dream. He has used cartoons published in newspapers as newspaper clippings since school. How many times did he knock on the office door? The teachers in the teaching and research group are heartbroken. The child is usually so good, but he is so persistent in this matter? However, the arm can't twist the thigh. Aunt Zou was so angry that she called her brother worthless. How much can an artist earn? The future society will be dominated by information and technology. How can you be so disappointing? . . Brother's eyes looked at his mother mercilessly, as if looking at his own enemy. He gritted his teeth and wrote down the science class in the volunteer column with trembling, and tears streamed down his face.

Later, my brother told me that that day, he wrote in his diary: Su Xiaojie died!

Time began its cruel teaching, and even the seventeen-year-old boy was listening. spend freely

Brother Xiaojie is still "arranged" and he no longer resists. However, a heart that yearns for freedom can't help but pursue its dreams. Bad news has wings.

He had a big fight with Aunt Zou.

One afternoon, my brother received a phone call from his classmates saying that he was going to school to publish a blackboard newspaper. After asking Aunt Zou, I went out. That day, my brother didn't go to school to send out blackboard newspapers. He made an appointment with his good friend to learn to ride a motorcycle. Naturally, I didn't dare to tell Aunt Zou about such a thing, so I lied.

Aunt Zou didn't believe what her son said, although it was the first time that her son lied in front of her. After her brother went out, she followed him carefully until she reached the appointed place. It is an abandoned parking lot, in the eastern suburb of the town, decadent and desolate. Aunt Zou hid behind a half-fallen wall.

It's gray. There are many unhealthy young people in society who are also learning to ride motorcycles.

As teenagers, boys are aggressive and competitive. Clever Xiaojie will soon be able to ride a motorcycle around site run, and the sound of motor aroused the dizziness in his veins.

A group of young people with cigarette butts came around and said they would compete with their brother.

Who's afraid of who? Compare it. My brother competed with a boy of similar age in that group. They rode motorcycles around the venue desperately. My brother said that at that time, I felt that the world was all my own, and I only heard the wind whistling in my ear. Brother won, naturally, and won the respect of those people. Just when everyone was in a good mood, Aunt Zou behind the fence couldn't help it any longer. She turned pale with anger. I didn't expect her excellent son to race with a bunch of gangsters. She rushed to her brother in a rage, and a loud slap hit him in the face.

Everyone was shocked. At present, this woman looks like a madman, mysterious and arrogant, unable to say a word. My brother's left face swelled up and tears ran down his hot cheeks. People dispersed. Mother and son are standing in the open field, their eyes facing each other. Aunt Zou flew into a rage, and her brother's tears dried up and she gnashed her teeth.

My brother later told me that this slap knocked out what he found on the motorcycle, his last expectation of Aunt Zou, and his fantasy of continuing to be a good child. He said that whenever he tried to come up with some achievements and wanted to make Aunt Zou happy, it was all in vain. Is it difficult to get her mother's approval? Others say that he is a good boy and an example, but he can't hear his own voice. He doesn't want to live in the expectation of others. He is very tired. Brother Xiaojie's heart yearns for the outside world, and the college entrance examination has become his retreat.

God's will backfired in the end. Spring has come, and everything is soaked in warm and humid air. People make good wishes and expect them to come true at the end of the year; No one thought that a small cherry seed would change the fate of Xiaojie's brother's life.

That spring was so long that I thought it would never pass. I was soaked in sad tears, feeling sour and brittle all over, like a piece of paper that would break if I poked it.

Xiaojie's brother's hand-painted album was secretly hidden in a box under his bed. After locking the door, he opened his beloved album, buried himself in his studies and sketched a few strokes at will. The warm sunshine in spring awakens the sleeping beauty. I think that day, my brother must have felt the beauty of this recovery at the window, extended his imagination in the album and wrote a poetic short chapter. Aunt Zou broke into the house and took the photo album. She thinks it's a waste of time. Xiaojie's brother burst into tears, rushed out of the door and quickly went downstairs. Brother must be very angry. He must have walked too fast. Otherwise, how could he fall unconscious in the corridor?

A smooth cherry seed, whose child accidentally fell on the stairs, became the "culprit" at the moment when my brother stepped on it. My brother slipped and fell asleep with his head buried on the edge of the stairs.

Xiaojie's brother didn't go to college, didn't study the computer department that Aunt Zou liked, and even had no memory of my sister. Brother JJ has forgotten us since the day he fell.

He was lying in the hospital ward with a childlike smile on his face. He often has headaches, which makes his heart crack. However, there is one thing he hasn't forgotten. In the morning after the rain, he painted the white sheets in the hospital green. He borrowed the patient's brush to draw pictures on the wall, which had appeared in hand-painted albums.

He is still excited to see fresh colors, and always brings his own brush.

I stood stupefied in front of my brother, tears streaming down my face, like a sharp knife stabbing my heart. Such pain has no color. My mother blindfolded me and took me away. Mom is shaking.

final result

In the next ten years, I seldom went to see him, because every time I saw him, the burn marks would overflow with heartache. I haven't told anyone that I hooked up with Xiaojie's brother before. We agreed that when I grew up, he painted and I wrote, and used words and cartoons to express those beautiful, sad, bright and dark stories. Many years passed, and when I grew up, I foolishly recorded this story with a clumsy pen, but my childhood agreement was out of reach.

I've grown up, brother jacko.

I want to pick ice cream from the ice cream tree with you.

I miss your piano playing and that date.

I really want to see you standing in front of the drawing board, waving a brush in your hand. I really hope Aunt Zou won't force you. She loves you very much.