Author | Luo

My father is a mute, which has always been a dull pain in my heart.

My home is in a remote town, and my father set up a biscuit stall at the corner of the town to earn money to support his family. It is said that my hometown is not here, but my parents moved here later. Every holiday, my father always goes back alone to send paper money to my grandparents, and then comes back to have dinner with us in the afternoon. Sometimes I want to go, but he won't let me. My mother says you are a girl doll. Why are you going? This makes me very dissatisfied with my father. Plus, when I play with other children, they always reject me and say, "Your father is dumb, so we won't play with you!" " "In this sentence, I hate my father, blame him for being dumb, and blame my mother for finding me a dumb father. When my mother heard my stupid words, she immediately slapped me severely. My father saw it, stopped me and took me into his arms, but I was ungrateful and pushed him away and ran away. At this moment, my father just stood there giggling.

One day when I was seven years old, I followed my father into the best primary school in town with my schoolbag on my back. Listening to my father gesturing to talk to the teacher, my face was so ashamed, especially when I entered the classroom, a classmate pointed at me and said, "Look! She is the daughter of the dumb. "I want to find a crack in the ground. After coming back from school, I made an agreement with my father: don't let him enter our school again, or I will turn against him. Father thought for a moment, but nodded silently.

Because of my father, I have been unable to lift my head among my classmates. They don't play with me and I'm too lazy to associate with them. In loneliness, I feel the bitterness of being left out, but it is this environment that gives me too much thinking space and learning time. In order to keep my precious self-esteem from being hurt, I studied hard and my good grades brought me a lot of comfort. Whenever I hear others follow my example to educate their children, my heart will be filled with uncontrollable joy, which has become the only capital for my father to show off to others. Looking at his smiling face, I am very excited, Dad! If only you could talk!

As I grew older, I gradually realized the hardships of my father's life. Every day before dawn, he gets up and makes noodles. After the dough was fermented, he packed up his things and took a shelf car with his mother to the biscuit pot, starting a busy day. In order to attract business, he always greets guests with a smile. Sometimes, he is unreasonable, he doesn't give money for meals, and his father suffers supercilious look and insults. I am a dumb daughter, and I am still under such great pressure. The pain in my father's heart can be imagined. Whenever I think about it, I feel ashamed of my past thoughts and practices. Several times, I tried to kneel in front of my father and beg his forgiveness, but I really didn't have the courage to do so. In front of my father, I still look dismissive. When my mother saw it, she always yelled at me for being rude, and my father ignored it. He still smiled modestly.

18 years old, admitted to the county key high school with excellent results. On the day of receiving the admission notice, dad was so happy that he gave away all the cookies for free.

After leaving my father, I took a long breath and finally walked out of the place that made me sad. But at this time, I am worried that my classmates in the city will know that my father is mute and look at me with a sad face. My father seems to have guessed this. Before I could speak, he reiterated his childish agreement before going to school with his hand gesture. In this way, every Sunday, my father and I will arrive in front of the biggest shopping mall in this city on time. After he gave me the money, he walked back step by step and looked at his reluctant eyes. My tears could no longer be controlled.

After the winter vacation, I returned to that small town. Father is still busy in front of his sesame seed cake stall, although there are no guests behind him. Seeing me get off the bus, my father rubbed his hands happily, then packed his things and pulled the car home. As soon as I entered the room, I realized that my mother was ill. She lost a circle and groaned in bed in pain. However, after seeing me, she sat up reluctantly. She wanted to laugh, but her mouth didn't open, but she burst into tears with a "wow". I panicked for a moment and couldn't guess what happened at home, so I asked my mother what happened. My mother looked at my father, who was smoking with his head stuffy. At this time, I found that my father was thinner than my mother. Look, his cheekbones are high and his eyes are dark and deep. I didn't find all this when my father sent me money last time. Thinking of this, I can't help blaming myself.

After my repeated questioning, my parents told me nothing. He just signaled that my mother was ill, that's all right. Then he told me to study hard and not to worry about things at home. When I learned that, I felt even more uneasy. That night, I tossed and turned, and finally failed to fall asleep.

The next day, my father got up very early. He pulled a cart and went out on the street. I got dressed and went to help him. He said he wouldn't let me go, but insisted that I take care of my mother at home. After breakfast, my mother said to me, "Sunny, go to the street to help your father." I was sick and you went to school again. He is suffering alone! " "When she said this, her mother had tears on her face.

I met my neighbor Aunt Li as soon as I went out. As soon as we met, she grabbed my hand and said, "Daughter! There is something I shouldn't tell you, but I can't bear to see your father so thin! " Then, she told me that shortly after I went to school, my mother got sick and went to the hospital for examination, liver cancer, advanced stage! Father was shocked when he heard this. He immediately knelt on the ground and asked the doctor to save his mother's life There is nothing the kind doctor can do, so he has to tell him that his mother can live for a year at most, or he should save some money to buy some delicious food for the patients. Being hospitalized here is equivalent to throwing money into a puddle. Father didn't believe it. That day, he went crazy in the hospital. He kowtowed when he saw the doctor, but his head was bleeding. The hospital didn't take his mother away in the end. Later, her father had to pull her back and rest at home. After the news of mom's illness spread, no one bought dad's cookies anymore, because it was said that mom's illness would be contagious. In this regard, my father had to withdraw from the sesame seed cake stall with tears in his eyes, but he was afraid that his mother would be anxious after learning about it and aggravate her illness. So every day before dawn, he still drives the car out and puts it at Aunt Li's house. He went out to collect junk to earn money, and then went home at noon. But after learning that I was coming back the day before yesterday, he set up a sesame seed cake stall again, in order not to let me know what happened at home.

Hearing this, I remembered yesterday's deserted sesame seed cake stall and my father's busy figure. I ran to the corner with tears in my eyes. But when I got there, I only saw the shelf car and the tools for making biscuits there, but my father was gone. Just as I was wondering, a kind neighbor told me that my father had gone to the county seat, which is said to be to buy new year's goods. Suddenly, I froze: can't I buy new year's goods here? Why do you have to go to the county seat? It seems that father must have other plans. So I pulled the car home and quickly hitchhiked to the county seat.

As soon as I got off the bus in the county seat, I heard someone say that a man fainted at the gate of the shopping mall. Hearing this, I secretly called it bad. I ran quickly at once. It was my dad. At this moment, he woke up and saw me. A smile floated on his face. He took out a pile of money from his pocket and motioned me to go to the mall to buy new year's goods. I took the money and couldn't help crying, because in this pile of money, I clearly saw a list of selling blood. When I walked into the mall, my father wanted to buy me new clothes. I didn't say anything. He was angry and stared, and I didn't dare to insist. Then we bought a woolen coat and fashionable trousers for my mother, and spent * * * on 420 yuan, which is probably the most luxurious suit my mother has ever worn. At this time, I really don't understand why my father, who has been living a frugal life, is so extravagant today.

On the way back, my father repeatedly indicated that I was not allowed to tell my mother about his selling blood. Looking at my father's black and thin face, my eyes were moist.

This year's Spring Festival is the darkest in my life, but my father is happier than any other year. On New Year's Eve, he was like a child, hehe, running around the yard with firecrackers. Facing the firecracker light, I clearly saw tears on his face. Under the influence of her father, her mother has a spirit. Wearing the new clothes that her father bought for her, she sat peacefully in the room and quietly looked at her childlike father. After dinner, mom and dad sat at the dinner table and looked at each other silently. Their focused eyes embarrassed me. I went into the back room and fell asleep in bed.

Before long, my father woke me up and pulled me to my mother's bedside. Only then did I know that my mother was dying. She has gone crazy, shouting her father's name. Father sat on the bed, took her head and let her lean on him. After a while, my mother opened her eyes and saw me. She said intermittently, "Sunny! -Your father was a good man. -obedient! " With these words, her eyes were fixed on her father, who seemed to read her mother's eyes. He cried and nodded. In the early morning, my mother lay in my father's arms and left with a smile.

Hearing the crying, the kind neighbors came running to help put the mother in the coffin and looked at the mother lying in the coffin. My father's eyes are blank. Someone asked his father, is it shipped back to his hometown? Father shook his head. Now I am confused: if I don't transport my mother back to my hometown, where can I bury her?

At noon, a group of people broke into my house. My father's face changed greatly when I saw them. He shouted "wow" and kept pressing on the coffin. The somebody else also didn't say anything. Several of them came up, pulled their father away, and then prepared to carry their mother's coffin. I suddenly became stupid. I don't know what will happen! They had to wait and see all this, and finally their neighbors stopped them, saying that they would take the coffin home and bury it. Then they took out their marriage certificates and said that their father abducted women from their village and brought a child.

What? I froze. I have a marriage certificate with a picture of my mother and another man on it. Seeing this, I ran to my father, hugged him tightly and shouted in despair: "Dad! I don't believe this is true! "

Although my father and I tried our best to stop it, we carried the coffin away with a large number of people in the prison. Just as mom's coffin was leaving the yard, what suddenly occurred to dad? He went into the back room and took out firecrackers to light. In the crackling firecrackers, my father knelt on the ground and kept kowtowing in the direction of my mother's departure.

Later, I finally found out the truth. My father is not my real father, and he was not dumb when he was young. At first, he fell in love with his mother freely. I didn't expect my father to have a crush on my mother. He is a hooligan in the village. In order to get his mother, he secretly found some thugs, beat his father and cut off his tongue. In this way, his father will never speak again. Under the pressure of his father, his mother finally married him and gave birth to me. The good times didn't last long. My father was shot by the government because he was involved in a fight. When my father learned all this, he secretly found my mother and brought us both to this town. We have lived quietly here for so many years, but who would have thought that after her death, they took her away and buried her with her father. Hearing this, I remembered my mother's complicated eyes before she died, and why she didn't let me go home when I was a child. Thinking about it, I can't help it. I suddenly came to my father, knelt down solemnly and said with tears on my face, "Dad! I am your daughter, I am your own daughter! " Before the words were finished, my father squatted down, took my face and studied it carefully. In an instant, two lines of clear tears welled up from his eyes.

After learning about my situation, the school leaders found my father and asked him to set up a biscuit stand at the school gate to earn money for my school. But my father looked at me timidly. My heart is cold, and I think of that distant agreement again. This must have been a pain in my father's heart forever. Thinking of this, I resolutely took his hand and said, "Dad! Forgive my ignorance in the past, no matter how the world changes in the future, you are my best father! " Hearing this, my father smiled brightly. From his sunny smiling face, I really understood my father's love. It is this mountain-like father's love that will accompany me far and far.

Creative notes:

Feelings come from real feelings.

-Reflections on the Creation of Dumb Father and Dumb Love

Dumb father's dumb love comes from a true story of a student. A few years ago, when I was teaching in a middle school in a small town, I met a girl named Qing Li. She got good grades and was very popular with teachers. However, because of her reticence and stubbornness, she doesn't get along well with her classmates. In order to get her out of loneliness as soon as possible, I talked to her specially, only to know the reason for her reticence: she has a dumb father, and she feels that people living around her look down on her. After listening to her words, I had to comfort her, hoping that she could overcome her inferiority complex and get along well with her classmates.

Although this conversation has not changed her character, she is still very grateful to me. When she graduated, she wrote in a letter to me: Thank you, teacher, I will always remember you! After that, Qing Li was admitted to a key high school in the county with excellent results.

I thought Qing Li was just a passer-by in my life. Unexpectedly, she suddenly came to my house on the eve of the Spring Festival the year before last. Without further ado, tears flowed down first. At first, I thought she had some difficulties and asked me for help, so I talked to her about the difficulties and said I would try my best. But she shook her head, wiped her tears and stared at me for a long time before saying, "Teacher! Do you remember the father I told you about? " I nodded, and she burst into tears, then choked up and said, "He is not my real father!" " "What? I was secretly surprised to hear this, and I couldn't believe it was true, because when Li Qing was admitted to high school, his dumb father personally went to school and called our teachers to his house for dinner one by one to show his gratitude. This enthusiasm and sincerity make it hard to believe that he is not Qing Li's real father.

Looking at my puzzled expression, Qing Li sighed for a long time before saying, "Teacher, don't say you don't believe me, I wouldn't believe it if I didn't see the scene with my own eyes! Really, he is too good to me. " Then she told me the story of dumb dad with tears in her eyes: the misunderstanding of dad when I was a child, the hardships of dad's business, and celebrating her daughter's "feat" of giving away biscuits for free when she was admitted to high school. Gradually, I saw the image of a kind and great father, but what shocked me even more was that my mother's coffin was carried away and she was helpless. Hearing this, I burst into tears. I was deeply moved by this dumb father's broad love, not only his father's love for Qing Li, but also his unforgettable love for his mother. As Mr. Li Juntang of Hubei said in his comments: Knowing that he is not a mute of his biological father, he embraced everything with his heart like the sea, holding up hope and comforting his mother with his disabled body shoulders.

Yes, it was this shock that prompted me to pick up a pen and write this affectionate article with tears in my eyes. I remember that night, I read it again and again: my father kowtowed to the doctor, fainted in front of the shopping mall, sold the blood list and bought the most luxurious clothes for my mother. My father ran around the yard like a child who set off firecrackers on New Year's Eve, and he lay on the coffin to stop people from carrying her away. Touched by true feelings, it is this selfless true love that purifies my soul and makes my soul get a qualitative leap and sublimation. I remember when Qing Li read this article, she burst into tears and just kept saying to me, "Thank you!" In my heart, I have been thanking her. It was she who introduced me to such a great father and gave me a loving education. There is true love in the world. Who said that in today's materialistic world, people are indifferent? Although the dumb father's love is so simple, without flowers, money, high-rise buildings and beautiful sports cars, that simplicity contains the truest, strongest and purest feelings in the world, which is enough to make the world cry and the sun and the moon move.

After writing the article, I sent it to many magazines and newspapers.

But none of them were adopted for the same reason: rural themes are not suitable for publication. Now I am confused. Is love divided into rural areas and cities? Although the love of rural people is not as romantic and luxurious as that of urban people, I firmly believe that love before God is great. So I kept submitting, submitting and submitting, but I still failed, failed and failed again.

As the saying goes: As long as you are sincere, even God will be moved. When I was about to despair, fortunately, I met Zhang Limei, the former editor-in-chief of Hubei Laolaiqiao magazine. After reading the manuscript, she immediately told me that she was so touching that she cried all morning. Although the manuscript failed to pass the final review because of style problems, she encouraged me to contribute to big magazines, and she believed that someone would definitely adopt it. It was her words that gave me confidence and courage. I sent the manuscript to teacher Zhang Huijuan of Marriage and Family with trepidation. As expected, Mr. Zhang quickly replied: Adopt. No more than 10 days. She is the most efficient editor I have ever seen.

After the article was published, readers called and wrote to me one after another to ask about the protagonist's recent situation. I can only tell you with regret that the dumb father died of illness. When he died, he left his daughter, Qing Li, a deposit of 2000 yuan, which was all his possessions in selling baked wheat cakes. Now, with the help of good people, Qing Li has finished her college studies and worked in a company in Shenzhen. She said: "She must work hard and never let down her father's high hopes for her."

Finally, I would like to thank Mr. Zhang Limei who encouraged me, Mr. Zhang Huijuan, the editor in charge of this article, and Marriage and Family magazine! Thanks to all the readers who care about this article!