The baby is a little girl, because my father works in other places all the year round, and my grandmother and I have become the main force to accompany the child. I am very busy at work at ordinary times, and I am exhausted when I get home. I'm really too lazy to help my children with their studies. Since you want to be lazy, you can only let the children be independent.
? First of all, don't treat children as children: children are independent individuals. Give her respect and space, and she will surprise you. I told her from the first day of school that you are a primary school student and you should do your own thing. Therefore, she tidies up her schoolbag and study every day and makes her own clothes every day. I remember when school started, the teacher asked the children to do their homework. As a result, he came back and told me that I forgot to assign any homework. I told him, "If you forget, don't do it. Doing homework is your own business, not mom's. If I don't do my homework, the teacher won't criticize me. Do it yourself. I don't know what homework the teacher has arranged. " As a result, she was so anxious and sad that I just refrained from telling her. I think I have to put her through this. The first thing I did when I came home the next day was to tell me, "Mom, I wrote down all my homework today." Baby, that's great. Keep going. From then on, I no longer have to pay attention to what homework the teacher assigns. I can't be a "lazy mother".
? Ask the child in a "result-oriented" way: I think the school has a little too much homework, so I gave her extra homework from the beginning. At first, I was quite resistant. I said to her, "As long as you have finished reciting and dictation, you don't have to do your homework. Do you dare to challenge? " Sure enough, she challenged me, and as a result, the dictation was a mess, so she could only be defeated and do her homework honestly. At first, I also dragged my feet in doing my homework. I even watch TV when I get home from school early. I don't get home until half past six every day, and I talk to her again. I told her that the first thing she would do when she got home was to do her homework. If she makes a mistake, it doesn't matter if she can't do it. First, do what she can. I never helped her check her homework. That's her own business. If she can't check it out after writing, she should be criticized by the teacher. I came home from work just to check that she had finished the result. Because doing homework is her job, not mine. I was just checking her results. Everyone in our family has a division of labor. Grandma is responsible for cooking, and mom and dad are responsible for supporting the family. The student's job is to go to school and study. We do what everyone is responsible for. Every day, in addition to the homework assigned by the teacher the next day, I will give her other homework. If I am away on business for a few days, I will call my children and grandma together before the business trip, arrange all the extra homework during this time, and tell her to clock in every day. The most important thing is that children form the habit of learning. I don't want to accompany her to school. I am a "lazy mother".
? Praise is the most beautiful language in the world, and children really need a lot of praise and recognition. In their world, they already feel that they are very powerful, that they can do many things, and that they are no different from adults. So we should not suppress their growth experience and give them room to make mistakes. I will drag her into the kitchen as soon as I have time, although I know it will always be a "huge pit" for me. Ask her to help me beat eggs and wash vegetables. To tell the truth, it's not very good, but I will praise her against my will. "Baby, you have helped your mother a lot. Without your help, I would be really busy. The dishes you washed are really clean, cleaner than dad. " Let the child clean up the housework with me and give her a "responsibility field". Brainwashing language questions and answers are often invented. For example, I often ask her, "Who does mom love most?" Teach her to answer "I". In this way, the child will feel safe and confident, especially when she is criticized. When we have an argument, I will ask her like this, and we will "make up" immediately. I often ask her, "What does Mom dislike the most?" Teach her to answer "dirty and messy", so when I ask her in the future, she will quickly clean up her "responsibility field". I find this is a kind of high-quality companionship and a very good time for parents and children to do housework together. Let the child participate freely, and gradually she will do better and better, so that I can be a "lazy mother" with peace of mind.
? Give your child a small alarm clock: It seems that all children have the habit of procrastination, especially this one in my family. Grandma always shouts at her loudly and urges her hard. Later, it was found that this method was really bad, which made everyone feel bad and had no effect. One afternoon, I promised to go out, but I didn't finish my homework I sneaked into the study and found that she was simply playing and writing. I took an alarm clock at hand and said to her, "Look, this long needle points to 10. We will go out after you finish your homework." Sure enough, she finished the work on time. I found this method so good that I stopped urging her, but learned to let her look at the alarm clock and ask her the specific concept of time. Praise her when the child finishes speaking, and she will definitely recognize it. Children have a special sense of accomplishment and are willing to cooperate.
? In fact, everyone has many good ways to get along with children. I used to be very anxious and had high expectations for my children's future. Later, I found out that I thought it was actually wrong. Every child is a seed that God randomly sends to every family. As parents, we should first accept our children, and then give them a good platform and environment to teach them to work hard. As for the children's future path, we don't have to worry too much, because each of them has his own path. Every child needs the "attention" of his parents when he grows up. If you recognize her and encourage her more, naturally she will develop in the direction you guide. If she makes a lot of efforts and is not noticed by us, she may do many out-of-line things to force you to pay attention to her, which may bring many bad results. Be a "lazy mother" and trust children. She will give you a surprise.
? Qiyuan school yi nian er ban
? Xu Tingru's parents: Li Xiaojun.