First, the category of "mixed students"
In contemporary poetry, there are not a few people who cook "uncooked rice". Open a poetry publication casually, and I dare say that there is no one who does not take "uncooked rice". Most people who create this kind of trouble are proficient in meter, and "temperature" is often poor in the control of words. Look at the example:
I read it in the book "Walking in the Outskirts"
Baiyun Mountain is hidden in color, and the streets are full of smoke.
The crescent moon sings in the bamboo garden through the clouds and cicadas.
Song Tao hurried to the sound of rain, and the birds returned to the forest.
Lying on his back on the moss, he is as light as a fairy.
This poem was written by a retired veteran cadre, and it has fully met the standard from the perspective of phonology and meter; However, if we ask for it from the aspects of language and art, there will be many problems.
The "mountain color" in the first sentence should not be "hidden" Since the topic is "what you see in the book", it is difficult to have "what you see" once you hide it. Only by letting it show some can it trigger infinite emotions. Therefore, it is better to replace the last three words with "attention from afar" in order to reserve space and tease the following. It is superfluous to apply the second sentence of Wang Wei's "smoke from the kitchen at night", and it is even more unreasonable to change "solitary smoke" into "smoke from the kitchen". The author's original intention may be to provide some reasons for the word "hidden", but he doesn't know that "cooking smoke" has long been history. Where can I find Baiyun Mountain today? Once poetry is divorced from reality, it has no place to stand. Therefore, even if Wang Mo doesn't object, this sentence is hard to apply. If you switch to your own products, such as "Mountain Shadows are green every other day", you will not only get rid of the traditional suspicion, but also connect with the previous sentence to form a wonderful picture. The first four words of couplets have the same structure, flat sentence patterns and overlapping meanings, such as "Ming", "Noisy" and "Noisy". Coupled with inappropriate framing, it is difficult to support the facade without major adjustments. Considering the four sentences, first of all, let the "returning bird" start in advance and change the "forest" into "wood" to condense the lens and unfold a vivid picture of "returning old trees to birds". The sentence "new moon" was naturally eliminated, because it did not conform to the scene of bird singing, and when the moon came out, it was Wu 'an. Secondly, we need to take another night's scenery as the next link to complete the panorama. It seems more appropriate to use the sunset instead of the moon. As a "long river inlaid circle", it will cooperate seamlessly with the first couplet. Although these five words are also from Wang Moju, they are witty and will not lose the face of his old man's house. The phrase "cicada singing" is also automatically laid off. With the singing of birds, you don't have to cooperate with Mr. cicada. The transformation of five or six sentences is slightly the same as that of three or four sentences. The first part is mainly to adjust the position of words to avoid isomorphism with three or four sentences; The bottom line has moved forward because of "returning birds" and must be supplemented. Try to replace it with the word "fog scattered stone smoke", and its illusion effect should be comparable to that of "turning scattered waves into rain"
It is not appropriate to tie a knot. Since it is a "leisurely walk", how can it be a "supine"? And the author is old, lying on the "moss", pulling moisture, backache is not a joke. What's more, the words "floating like a fairy" ("floating" is suspected to be a mistake of "floating") should not be so clear. Leave room at the end of the poem, you don't have to say it yourself. How about asking Mr. Tao Yuanming, the author of Peach Blossom Garden, to come out and clean up the mess? If summed up by "Hu and Taoyuan write another article", the beauty of this place is self-evident. In this way, the infinite imagination space is left to the readers, so that people will not have a glimpse. Now, let's look at the revised poem:
I read it in the book "Walking in the Outskirts"
White clouds are far away, and mountains are shining across the sky.
Old trees return to birds, and long rivers are embedded in circles.
Pottery scatters for rain, while fog scatters stones for smoke.
Andrew called lyna and Taoyuan wrote another article.
The following object-chanting poem is the same fault:
tuberose
Under the flowers in front of the court, it is loneliness and autumn and winter.
Raindrops are thin, and leaves are heavy when the wind blows.
The dew is light and the moonlight is faint.
Who is noble and clean? Chi Lian and Jian Song.
The work of chanting poems must have the distinct personality of the object to be sung, otherwise it is a universal label that can be affixed everywhere. This poem is about cordate telosma, which only has the characteristics of ordinary flowers and has not been patented by cordate telosma, so it is hard to say that it is successful.
At the beginning, where is the shadow of cordate telosma? Here, it is appropriate and correct to find your identity and deduct the topic. Three or four sentences also belong to random pen and ink, which seems to be swaying, but it has nothing to do with this flower; In addition, if you don't work hard, it will be worse as a general label. If you change it slightly and continue to write with the word "night", the situation will be different. "The branches under the moon are thin, and the shadows before the wind are heavy", is there a face that is a bit "cordate telosma" invisibly?
Five or six sentences are slightly meaningful, but the sentence pattern is stagnant (almost isomorphic with the first couplet) and changed to a flowing pair, which is vivid throughout. The conclusion will be that the word "can" is illegal, and the problem will be solved if it is changed to "look". How do you feel if you taste it after grinding?
tuberose
Yao Rui blooms at night, so he remembers autumn and winter.
The branches under the moon are thin, and the shadows before the wind are heavy.
Don't be too light in color, it has a faint fragrance.
Who is noble and clean? Chi Lian and Jian Song.
Second, the category of "dislocation"
In poetry creation (mainly referring to words here), there is a problem that is not required by metrical rules, but established by scholars and poets in past dynasties, which is often ignored by beginners. This is what kind of words are suitable for bold and graceful. Such as "Huanxisha" and "Jade Case", you usually don't need to be arrogant; And "Man Jiang Hong", "Jin Lu Qu" and so on. Usually not elegant. Because there is no such rule in the word spectrum, beginners can easily turn it upside down and choose the wrong key, resulting in the style out of tune. The following poem commemorating the Army Day is evidence:
Huanxisha Bayi Memorial Hall
Nanchang Uprising played a triumphant song, and the Long March shook the mountains and rivers. Qi Xin fought bravely against Japan. Marxism–Leninism spread widely, sweeping monsters upside down. The Chinese nation stands tall.
This work is full of strong words, which is extremely inconsistent with the gentle example of Huanxisha. As far as its language style is concerned, it is somewhat similar to a seven-character poem. If it is slightly increased, it will be expanded into a seven-character poem, which seems to be slightly better than the original.
The first sentence is a typical "old cadre style", which retains its true colors. Delete the last three words in the second sentence, and move in the "sweeping the devil" in the fifth sentence, and leave the "mountains and rivers" for later use. This adjustment makes the opening look upright. The third sentence is slightly modified and changed to "Ge Tongju in the Central Plains resisting Japan" as a comparison of couplets, and a historical story of "Peninsula aiding sword grinding" is added as a comparison, * * * holds up half the facade. In the sentence of "Marxism-Leninism", the reform method is the same as before, and the stereotype of "broadcasting thousands of miles" is removed, and the word "upholding the truth" is used to change it, and the first part will be similar. The bottom line is not difficult to get. Just replace the word "mountains and rivers" saved in front and add some branches and leaves to expand it into "mountains and rivers are more beneficial to the people", and its color may not be worse than the top line. Since the couplets have maintained Marxism-Leninism and reorganized the "mountains and rivers", they also constitute a natural turning point in poetry, which is enough to support the pillars together with the neckline. The conclusion is similar to the slogan, which is boring. We might as well take its meaning slightly and change it to "the giant stands tall in the East" as the seventh sentence, instead of ending with the words "blue-eyed Hu mistresses what I am". This is an indispensable sentence. With it, confidence and belief are all in it, and a sense of national pride arises spontaneously. The same theme, after changing from words to poems, tastes different:
Commemorate Bayi
Nanchang Uprising played a triumphant song, and the Long March cleansed the demons.
The Central Plains fought against Japan, and the peninsula aided Korea.
Marxism-Leninism holds high the principle of justice, and mountains and rivers will be rebuilt for the benefit of the people.
Giants stand tall in the east, and blue-eyed Hu Er can't compete with me!
Third, the category of "anemia"
Looking through various poetry publications, we can easily find many works that look like poetry, but they are actually boring. This kind of works, the language is not only fluent, but also rhythmic, lacking only the image and charm of poetry. Just like a person suffering from "anemia", the appearance seems normal, but in fact it can't stand the fight. Try the following two examples:
Fishing with hooks and lines
Idle to the river, covered with green shade.
Fishing in the sunset is picturesque.
This poem gives the impression that you can only read it roughly, but not chew it carefully. The reason why we can't chew it carefully is because the author has exhausted all the words. For example, the words "picturesque" at the end of a sentence should be appreciated by readers, not by the author. The "poetic feeling" that readers feel from poetry is implicit; In the author's own opinion, "picturesque" is superficial. What's more, the first three sentences of this poem do not describe the beautiful scenery of the people, and it is impossible to impress readers by shouting "picturesque" in vain. If we really want to achieve poetic effect, we must dig deep into romantic scenes and create another world. Now let's follow the author's footsteps, adjust and transform this poem, and then examine its artistic effect.
Fishing with hooks and lines
Shake the lotus spring water, and the shore is thick with Liu Yin.
Sitting around in Shantou, fishing with a pole.
Both the original and the adaptation are about "fishing", one is "picturesque" and the other is quoted but not published. Who is really picturesque? It is not difficult to trust the readers to judge for themselves.
Nectarine garden
It is a pleasure to roam at high speed in spring and see the new colors of mountain flowers.
The most beautiful scenery is Taoyuan. When I come back, I miss the cave people.
The words and melody of this poem are in line with the norms, but the meaning is not novel, and it is still not refined after painstaking efforts. The words used in the first sentence are not economical. Since the words "flying" and "high speed" are to be omitted, who dares to "fly" in downtown areas? Ordinary scenery can be seen everywhere, how can there be any "Peach Blossom Garden" characteristics? This is the so-called "universal gift", which can be given to Zhang San or Li Si. If it is a "new color of peach blossom in ten miles", it will naturally merge with Tao's "forgetting the distance of the road, suddenly meeting the peach blossom forest, catching dozens of steps on the shore, no miscellaneous trees, delicious grass and colorful flowers" and become a patent trademark here and now. The third sentence is also boring. "Good Scenery" should be appreciated and experienced by readers from the text. When they talk about it there, it's not just empty talk! The last sentence is also a cliche. It is better to say "jealousy" instead of "reading" from another angle. This poem may produce a strange interest. Of course, the word "jealousy" needs to be prepared in front, and the original third sentence should be changed to "this kind of scenery can't be moved", and then two sentences should be "bow like a full moon, arrow like a meteor".
Nectarine garden
Flying cars explore Wuling spring far away, and peach blossoms are all new in ten miles.
I can't live without such scenery, and I'm still jealous of the cave people when I come back.
Fourth, the category of "miss"
In poetry creation activities, we can often see many astute authors who can better capture new things and new themes in life, but they are not good at choosing the cutting angle, so that they miss the accurate shot or miss it deeply. Good materials don't make good products. The following two examples can provide us with reference in this regard:
Shenzhou goes to heaven
He also reported that Shenzhou visited Xiao Jiu, and Cowherd and Weaver Girl were also invited.
Bring wine month next year, and don't teach Chang 'e to be lonely again.
This work captures a brand-new theme that Li Bai, Du Fu and Su Dongpo couldn't even think about in their time, and its expression is also romantic. Unfortunately, the failure to choose a suitable cutting angle leads to the deviation of the shooting target and empties the excellent material that has been obtained. In addition, the roughness of the process also affects the aesthetic expression of the existing angle. For example, "inviting each other" is mostly used for friends, not for couples; The word "teach" is illegal If we change the angle, eliminate the elements of onlookers' comments, let the Cowherd and the Weaver Girl speak freely and feel the happiness brought by modern technology, the taste will be completely different. Please see:
Shenzhou goes to heaven (for a cow and a girl)
I am glad to see Shenzhou visit Bixiao, and we don't need a bridge to get together from now on.
Drink more wine under the moon, don't let Chang 'e be lonely.
From the comparison between the original and the adapted version, it is not difficult to find that the so-called angle exchange is actually just adding the words "play the cow girl" at the beginning of the film and changing it into a person. As far as literal modification is concerned, it can only be regarded as fine-tuning; However, judging from the correction of direction selection, it is of great significance.
Spring Festival couplets
In pairs, life and death depend on each other.
Looking for ancestors should be posted after the poem, leading to spring first.
Italy creates ancient and modern situations according to the situation, and plays long and short strings.
I like Gog's first beauty best, and all the colorful columns in the door are very beautiful.
The topic is a common topic and things are common. However, once it is skillfully cut, it adds a lot of emotion. Sometimes there are flaws in the poem, and sometimes there is a taste of nature. This faulty and tasteful bud is more than 10,000 times better than the flawless and tasteless goods of Laosancun Acetic Master.
At the beginning, the metaphor of "life and death in pairs" is used to give "Spring Festival couplets" full human touch, and the imagination is different. However, the word "earthly" is used skillfully, because couplets are earthly things, and there is no need to classify them as "immortals", otherwise they will lose their authenticity. It would be nice to change it to "shadow". If nothing else, from the image alone, it is much fuller than the original sentence.
It is natural to decide the historical position of Spring Festival couplets. Xiabi is too weak to write poetry, so it is changed to "Spring people like to take the lead in flowers". The shape remains the same, and the meaning is brand-new. Five or six sentences are made by hand, and the expression is in place. It is rare to use metrical changes flexibly to enhance the syllable effect.
There are obvious problems in the connection: the word "Ge" in the previous sentence violates the law, and the word "first beauty" is too full and inappropriate; There is a general temperature difference, which is somewhat anticlimactic. Only by breaking through the original conceptual framework can it become the highlight of the whole poem. Please pay attention to the comparison:
Spring Festival couplets
Pairs of shadows are dancing, and life and death depend on each other.
Looking for ancestors should be after poetry, and spring people should like to take the lead.
Italy creates ancient and modern situations according to the situation, and plays long and short strings.
Favorite snobs, the rich and the cold palace.
Five, "bloated" category
Poetry should be refined and express as many meanings as possible in as few words as possible, so as to be considered a master. There is a common poet who is always unable to control himself when writing, and often writes what can be expressed in five words into seven words; What can be written in quatrains can be dragged into metrical poems. This phenomenon can be called "bloated". In today's poetry, this disease is more common. Let me cite several cases as proof:
Ferry farmers like the completion of Anqing Yangtze River Bridge.
I used to cross the river in Yicheng.
I am glad that the new bridge is wide and can't stand the Millennium cold current.
Huangmei blossoms in the north and green fruits in the south.
The longines are played lightly in the east, accompanied by pastoral chapters.
This work is about the benefits brought to vegetable farmers by the completion of Anqing Yangtze River Bridge, which is full of the spirit of the times and the flavor of life. The lack of words is far-fetched and slow If compressed into five words, the effect seems to be better.
The word "Yicheng" in the first sentence can be omitted. It is better to say "sorrow" than "bitterness". The second sentence "wind and fog" is too fragmentary, and it is appropriate to sweep it away; "Ships and cars" can easily be used as "chariots and horses", which can increase the time span of "the past" by countless times. The word "wide" at the neckline is redundant. If you bridge the Yangtze River, can it be narrower? Moreover, the meaning of the upper and lower words is not smooth. Isn't it concise to trim them a little and turn them into running water? Those five or six words are also not well thought out: the meaning of "appreciating Huangmei" is very clear. If a "flower" is repeated for no reason, it will become a snake's foot; The fragrance of "fruit" is hard to understand in Gone with the Wind, and it is against human nature to give way to sages and land. Remove the branches, correct the deviation, and leave ten words, which becomes a good sentence. The seventh sentence is a failure, thinking that the Yangtze River is "flying stones flying through the air and hitting the shore". How majestic, how magnificent, how can it be like a "small wave"! It is appropriate to use a Tang poem as "henceforth". If the ending is slightly adjusted, the whole poem will be natural. Look at its new look:
Ferry farmers like the completion of Anqing Yangtze River Bridge.
Worry about the past when crossing the river.
New bridge, cool for thousands of years.
North America looks gorgeous, while South China smells fragrant.
From then on, the world is near, and the same book becomes rich.
After this poem is compressed into five words, is it richer than the original seven words? In contrast, I think the answer is not difficult to come by.
Chanting chrysanthemum
The shore willows attract the wind from Bai Ou, and the maple trees are red and pale.
I am proud to cherish jade if I want to open my heart.
I would rather hold incense in the branches than climb the castle to avoid the cold and autumn.
Life comes from natural beauty, and prosperity comes with no resentment.
This work, like the previous example, is freer in pen and ink. It is appropriate to compress the whole into five words. The topic is writing chrysanthemums, but I don't know how to describe the personality characteristics of the object. I had to arrange Liu to be the "leader", seagull to be the "companion" and a piece of "maple leaf and red cloud" to join in the fun. All kinds of unimportant things came to the door and the "guests" squeezed through the door. Is there room for the "master"? Really usurped the role of master! These two sentences are not lacking in aesthetic feeling, but they are too far from the point and make a good shot in vain. Why don't we use the title "Go home and have peace"? The two sentences of "pity Fang" and "cherish jade" are suspected of using idioms and have little to do with chrysanthemums. "Pride" can stay, but "feelings" need not be "open". Isn't it good to say that the previous sentence is "good feelings" and that Du Mu's "chrysanthemums must plant flowers" has a hidden mystery? The second half should be rearranged, combined and washed. We should get rid of the cliche of "natural beauty" and arrange a pair of running positions in the fifth and sixth positions, so that the beginning will be much more vivid. How does it taste? Let's read it:
Chanting chrysanthemum
Since returning to Tao Zhai Ling, you can enjoy peace in three paths.
See you at the temple. Shuang Ling will be proud of you.
It will also decorate the autumn of Guangxi border with the meaning of fence.
Who can say that you are disgusted?
Can readers see the real "chanting chrysanthemums" without some tailoring?
Seal cutting edge
The inch is smart and the sky is wide, and the chisel blade travels between the sun and the moon.
Red and white lines mark the ancient rhyme, and vertical and horizontal ink engraves new articles.
It is not easy for the southern Sect to seek elegance in a single line, but the northern double-edged sword.
Re-study the family tradition of my father and carve a string of five internal organs.
Although there is nothing wrong with the rhythm of this poem, the lines, ink marks, single lines and double knives are all combined with the skill of family heirlooms, so I'm afraid they are not complete. As a result, the brushwork is spread evenly, and none of them reach the depths. That is, it is best to take a little bit of it and dig deep, and avoid greed and cheapness. If you want to be perfect, you have to dilute it. How can you paint a building with one or two pieces of lime? A hundred cups is not as good as one cup, so have a strong taste. There are many ways to seal stones, so how to exhaust seven words and eight sentences? If there are endless roads, there will be no roads. Delete the branches and vines and write, "There is no ancient method at the moment, and laughter reaches the savage in the wind." Isn't it better to be invisible than to list unclear methods? You see, once the "bloated" disappears, the poetry will not be strong in an instant:
Seal cutting edge
The inch is smart and wide, and the blade is between the sun and the moon.
There is no ancient method in mind, and it is barbaric to smile in the wind.
A similar example is a typical song "Five Gods Go to Heaven":
Shenzhou 5, go to heaven.
Smoke billowed, heat waves rose and went straight to the bull's-eye.
Suddenly, like a dragon dance on the earth, the Shenzhou rocket took off instantly.
The queen mother also smashed the sacred feast in shock, and the jade emperor dared not make trouble with heaven.
Why did Han Xiao drill holes? Spaceship five is marked.
It seems earth-shattering, but it's a bluff. But the last two sentences are very strange in imagination. With these two sentences, this poem can not only be saved, but also create a new world.
The method of transformation, first take two or four interesting sentences and turn them into "an arrow in the air penetrates a heavy cloud" as the opening. Then, don't "surprise" the Queen Mother, let alone "fear" the Jade Emperor. As long as the one who made a scene in the sky is invited out and let him scratch his head and shout a few words, the whole poem will be very lively.
Shenzhou 5, go to heaven.
An arrow broke the heavy clouds in the air, which surprised Bi Marvin:
Which fairy is better than me? Dare to scratch a new mark in the sky!
"Which way the fairy is better than me? Dare to draw new marks in the sky! " Grandpa Great Sage said so. Who else dares to defy spirit? This kind of side contrast is much more powerful and interesting than directly saying "God Five". After cutting, compressing and transforming the poem, the edema disappeared, which is really "get twice the result with half the effort"!
Sixth, the category of "freedom"
Pen and ink are free, difficult to combine, far-fetched and specious, which is also one of the common problems in poetry creation. This disease is especially popular in instant events and works of chanting poems. The author's cases are so many that he can compile a book alone.
Two Bamboo Poems (Yangguan Style)
Ten thousand poles stand upright in the sky, and a gust of wind rolls over the waves.
The three armies roared, hunted with flags, United as one, and could not be bent.
Just because you are in a crack, your joints are strong and your branches are poor.
Banqiao lightly brushed two or three strokes, singing a strong wind.
The title is "Zhu Yong", but it is difficult to see bamboo shadows in the article. The first song "Rise from the Ground" seems to have an image, but it is not dynamic. It is said that the scaffolding on the construction site is similar, far from the fresh bamboo forest. Be a "green pushing green holding clouds", or you can look at the weather in the bamboo forest. The last three sentences have no personality, but you should also sing pine, cypress and miscellaneous trees. The "roar of the three armies" is just propaganda, and it will not be "called" in ten thousand years. Just be a "lotus halberd", that's the character of bamboo. "Silent telling is more than talking", using image thinking, there is no need to shout like a field battle. "Unity is strength" is not good either. How much can a seven-character poem have without four ready-made words? This universal label can be affixed anywhere, and it is best to use it sparingly. The overall adjustment has been made. Although "modesty" and "strength" are also ready-made, they are directly related to bamboo, and their internal characters can be seen, which has made a strong foundation for the introduction of sentences. "Thin waist" can not be ignored. It's a close-up of bamboo waist. What's so strange about a thick waist? Slim, indomitable, amazing. In the image, there is personality.
After the first mistake, "in a gap", does bamboo grow like this? The only thing that can hold the roots in the crevices is pine, which is called "pine crown bamboo piercing". The pronunciation of the word "seam" is illegal and inappropriate. The second sentence "stronger joints" is still pine pen and ink, which is not suitable for bamboo; "Poor foliage" means a frog jumping into a well with a plop. Bamboo is a thing with lush foliage and evergreen seasons. Why is it "poor"? Finally, please welcome the famous bamboo and wood painter Zheng Banqiao. That's a good idea, just one sentence.
The meaning is a little awkward, and we need to add another fire. In addition, the style of choosing Yangguan in the two capitals is not good, and they bend over for no reason. Yangguan body must be connected by water and clouds, which flows in one breath, such as Wang Wei's Weicheng Qu, which is authentic; Having its shape but not its reality has become "high paraplegia", which is counterproductive. After the two poems were revised, they seemed to be thoroughly remoulded. If you don't believe me, please see:
Two poems about bamboo
The green pushes the green to meet the clouds, and the three armies of the Dutch halberd are raging.
Always humble and arrogant, the wind can't break the waist.
In iron whip, the mud is deep and the spring rain is raining.
Borrow three or two strokes from Banqiao, and you will see a flurry in one song.
The following words belong to another free body of the same author:
Tang duoling
The moon goes down to the western hills, and the frost goes up to the north building. Suddenly, the wind blew through my heart. Don't complain about the wind and rain in the world, stand tall and give it to Yingzhou. What is the dream? Still chasing waves. Away from the hustle and bustle, the sea of books travels. Although I am an individual traveler, my name is Ji, which is also Chunqiu.
The rhythm is not bad, but the pulse is too scattered. "the wind suddenly crosses my heart", and the word "wind" reluctantly gives way to "cloud", just looking at interest; "Cloud" people are also gloomy and more accurate. It wasn't because Korean said "the cloud crossed the Qinling Mountains" that he remembered to use it. "Wind and rain" are separate, and "wind and rain" means smooth.
Taking a break in two or three sentences is inconsistent with the context and is a typical combination. I don't think "style" should be "rigidity" and "Yingzhou" should be "fu". It is better to live indifferently and give the Spring and Autumn Period "no complaints".
After two sentences, "what do you want from the dream" is vague, and "what do you want from the dream" is clear; "Surfing" is not good either, and it is easy for people to have the illusion of drifting, so it is free and unrestrained to play with the waves. The following three sentences "although yes" are out of breath and have nothing to say. They were all changed to "Xiao Mo lived a leisurely and old life, comfortable and romantic", which was almost the same as the poet. What is the charm of the reformed text? We might as well have a try:
Tang duoling
The moon goes down to the western hills, and the frost goes up to the north building. In an instant, dark clouds passed through my mind. Don't blame the wind and rain in the world, live indifferently, and give it to the spring and autumn. What do you want from dreams? Still playing with boats. Away from the hustle and bustle, the sea of books travels. Don't laugh at being old, comfortable and romantic in life.
If the above two cases are not enough to illustrate the problem, I will ask you to "climb" Lushan again, and you will believe that what I said is by no means alarmist:
Denglushan mountain
Kuang Lu went back to the past and enjoyed nine songs.
There are birds whispering, and there are flowers and half shame.
Tianchi invites beautiful pictures and holds beautiful eyes.
Gorgeous jiangzhou fire, vast green sea.
The whole poem is rambling and disorganized. There are many gaps in the article. If you want it to be a poem, you must thoroughly remould yourself. The first sentence touches the topic, thinking that it is an edge ball, and the second sentence closes the "Nine Songs" and goes outside Lushan Mountain; In addition, "Tianchi" was mentioned later, which made people puzzled. Three or four sentences don't make sense What do you mean by "turn around and cry" and "half-spit shame"? I'm afraid no one can understand such a strange language. Sentences such as "the breeze holds beautiful eyes" and "the blue sea is boundless" are also between the pass and the pass. There is still a piece of "Jiangzhou Fire" left, but it is "gorgeous" and it is not a taste. There is no way to express a poem, and there is no fixed method. But first, write well, then write personality, and then have artistic interest. I have made great changes to this poem, and at the same time, I have used some image thinking methods such as analogy, exaggeration and association, which is actually equivalent to re-creation. However, except "A flute", all other sentences contain words used in the original poem, so the copyright does not belong to me-although I like the resounding ending of "A flute sets sail and sparks move across Jiangzhou". Although there is no copyright, there is still the right to recite. Now let me recite it for my friends:
Denglushan mountain
The letter is hard to break, and the old tour continues.
How happy birds are, and flowers are half shy.
Waterfalls hang in the sky, shaking waves and flashing eyes.
A flute, sparks move Jiangzhou.
The common problems in poetry creation are far more than these. Limited by space, it is difficult to list them one by one. If there is an opportunity in the future, I would like to further discuss with the majority of poetry friends.