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Qq Classic Jokes (20 Selected Sentences)
1, Tanabata is coming, single friends, hurry to the supermarket and quietly put a note in each box of chocolates: "Let's break up! ; "

God, when I said, "This day can't get any worse," it was just a simple spit, not a provocation. Thank you!

Walking in the underground passage near the railway station, I found someone writing a big mobile phone number on the wall, followed by "Looking for homosexuals in this city".

In KFC, a dinosaur sits opposite you. You sit there for a long time after eating. I thought your aesthetic standards had changed! So your legs are numb!

A group of cannibals circled over the suburbs. Debate about going to the city to eat city people or going to the countryside to eat country people. Finally, Toulong decided to go to the countryside on the grounds that captive animals are not as delicious as free-range animals.

6. I want to hold you in my palm and serve you with my heart; I want to hold you in my arms and raise you carefully; I will try my best to take care of you: I will turn you into a cute little fat pig.

7. A cat fell in love with a sheep. The cat said softly to the sheep, "I like you best." Please marry me! Hey. " The sheep suddenly turned pink and said shyly, "Bah! My husband has not agreed yet! "

8. I have you all the way, and I am willing to suffer a little, so I won't say it. I finally made this decision. I don't care what others say, but too many people say forget it. I'd like to go anywhere with you. If you don't have a car, forget it!

9. I cooked a pot of blessing nutrition soup for you. It contains no pigments and preservatives. This is all made of blessings. Shelf life: After eating, I wish you happiness and good luck forever!

10, the weather is hot. In order to prevent heatstroke, please drill the soil. Those who need hair removal should shave their heads. If you don't do anything and don't want to do anything, congratulations, you have already practiced the magic of "being calm and naturally indifferent".

1 1. In a person's life, some things are reasonable, some things are difficult to control, some things are unsatisfactory, some things are illogical, some things are unexpected, and some things are suddenly realized. Fool, understand?

12, in this world, you are the most amazing; Beat you and don't fight back, scold you and cry; I don't pay attention to food and shelter, I don't wear clothes in winter and summer, I live in circles all day, I'm not impatient or anxious, I'm rich and I can read text messages. I like you best in the animal kingdom!

13. Complete sentences include famous sayings, beautiful sentences, slogans, classic lines, greetings, etc. After the erosion of word of mouth and time, what remains is very profound and thought-provoking, or happy, or suddenly enlightened.

14, shopping with friends, I saw a lot of people lined up at the door of a tea shop. In order to have a taste, we also lined up to buy two cups. Let's go shopping and drink. When a cup was about to be swallowed, my friend suddenly said, "This noodle soup tastes terrible!" " "

15, the elephant and its mother slipped out of the zoo on a moonlit night, and they ran happily. When they ran under the viaduct, the mother elephant suddenly stopped and hugged the elephant's head tightly. The elephant raised its neck and asked, "Mom, what's wrong with you?" Mom: "Baby, be careful to shoot the elephant head!" " "

16, an old farmer bought seeds to sow. In autumn, because the seeds are fake, there is no harvest. The old farmer made up his mind to die and bought a bottle of pesticide to drink. Because the pesticide was fake, he didn't die. The family was glad that the man was not dead and bought a bottle of wine to celebrate. As a result, the whole family died because the wine was fake.

17. On Xunyang Building, Song Jiang was drunk and wrote an anti-poem. He was tied up by state officials and sentenced to death. Classical fidgeted after hearing this, but Wu Yong said unhurriedly, "Don't worry, brother. I have ordered all the heroes to rescue. If there is no accident, tomorrow will be a good time, and it will rain up the mountain in time. " According to historical records, this is the earliest weather forecast in China.

18, Little Rabbit and Little Turtle are in love. Little Nutbrown hare said: I want to love you, and my heart will not change. The tortoise said: I will miss you for a thousand years! Two hearts meet forever. Unexpectedly, the rabbit heard it and warned the rabbit grandson-"Don't be deceived! At the beginning, his father chased his mother and asked for decades of marriage. " Little Nutbrown hare didn't like it a little: "Mother Tortoise is so arrogant …" Grandpa Rabbit said: It's not arrogant, just dull. They can live for 10,000 years. "

19. Only people who can't live high will spend a lot of time caring about others' privacy more than their own lives. What a tragic life form this is. There is no real happiness in my life. When I grow up, I will live for my parents, my lover, my work and my children. In all the "moral" excuses, all I lost was my honesty and the courage to live for myself.

20, single woman, in poor health, often catching a cold, and likes to watch some bitter movies. After reading it, she sighed and wept alone, which was very depressing. Let's listen to your suggestions, strengthen physical exercise and watch comedies and jokes instead. If you are in a good mood and in good health, you will naturally not catch a cold. One night, as soon as she went to sleep, she heard a sigh coming from the living room ... "Alas, I'm so short recently ..." The drawer in the living room said with a sigh.