All your own coping strategies, good and bad, are beneficial to you. They are only appropriate if you choose to apply them. In life, your subconscious will automatically choose which strategy to adopt, that is, the so-called two benefits are the most important.
Take social anxiety as an example. You have successfully avoided imaginary or real criticism or negative comments by not going to social occasions (such as speeches and parties), which is of course a great benefit, at least it will not damage your self-esteem. But not going to social occasions will also have a serious impact. You will damage your professional function and even lose the opportunity to get love.
Between the two, the subconscious automatically chooses to avoid, but the reason is unwilling, so there will be anxiety. Because reason tells you that socializing is also decisive and good. Socialize and avoid conflicts between the two sides, so you suffer.
Psychological research shows that your decision is made 0.3 seconds before your "rational consciousness" makes a decision. It's strange that your "rational consciousness" didn't catch up with your brain's decision-making meeting.
These are all nonsense. You must have read about it in psychology books. All psychology books describe social anxiety in detail, and then tell you to take medicine or receive psychotherapy, or simply tell you to accept and accept obstacles. If you catch a cold, your chances of getting pneumonia will increase.
Self-repair-positive psychotherapy. Traditional therapy is to relieve pain, while active therapy is to increase happiness. Are you happy today? Is the slogan of active treatment! The following is 1 1 happiness project. If you finish it, you will feel happy and your social fears will disappear.
1. Be active and busy.
2. Get along with people more, starting with one person and gradually increasing. Plan a specific date, when to talk to a group of more than one person, when to talk to a group of more than three people, and so on.
3. Work and leisure should be effective. Don't talk about work, if you don't work well, the boss will get in trouble with you. Leisure, playing with goals, and having fun.
4. Be organized and planned, and accomplish one or two important tasks every day. Don't get me wrong, the so-called important task is not to make you president, it is a daily goal, and cooking a meal carefully today is an important goal.
5. Don't spend time worrying. As far as physics is concerned, although it is possible, the universe will not be annihilated tomorrow. You won't suddenly disappear, so what are you worried about?
6. Reduce expectations and ambitions. Put the desired goal in a position where you can achieve it through hard work.
7. Think positively and optimistically. Pay attention to good information selectively (news, company rumors, friends gossip, etc.). ), don't pay attention to the bad, and don't discuss the bad. It's simple. When others ask you to comment on bad things, you can smile and shut up. Even if it is a word from others, ignore the negative.
8. Pay attention to everything you do now. Do them well, only by paying attention to current events can we do them well. While thinking about how to do things well.
9. Know yourself, like yourself and help yourself complete the task. Who will love you if you don't love yourself? Love yourself before you love others.
10. Cheerful, laugh when you see funny things. Watch more humor, jokes and comedies.
1 1. Pursuing happiness. Active pursuit. Happiness is an experience process of construction. You pursue it, you build it, and you are naturally happy.
In fact, the core of seeing so much is to look at the good side of things and forget the bad side. It's that simple. When you see something good, pick up your mobile phone and record it, even the leaves and a smile after the rain. Everything starts with communicating with one person, followed by the second and third.
This is the "third miracle" for you, and I hope it can help you.
I'm sure I can. Why? Because our destiny is in our own hands, it is said that a gentleman strives for self-improvement! Give whatever you want and get what you want. All laws are born from the heart, and the environment is free to turn, which can make everything bitter! If you want to modify your destiny, your life blueprint and your life script, you can only modify your belief system. To modify the belief system, you must increase the frequency of earthquakes. There is no other way. Increasing the frequency of earthquakes means awakening, and increasing the frequency of earthquakes means improving your consciousness.
Every time you do this, you are raising the vibration frequency. Every time you do it, you are raising your consciousness level, and you will get closer and closer to the real you. Everything, our inner mental and psychological activities, the external physical body and even the phenomena of the whole universe are dreams, illusions, bubbles and shadows, just like the realm in dreams, like illusions, bubbles and shadows, without substance, true self and true dharma. After practicing enlightenment, you are your own master!
I'm telling you clearly, whether you collect phobias for 5 years or 10 years, you can definitely correct them. Have confidence in everything. The trees in the world are immutable, nothing is immutable, and it is impossible to control one thing unchanged. It's just a matter of quick adaptation and slow adaptation. If you can actively try to change it, the speed of change will accelerate. If you are pessimistic and always feel that you can't change, then he will change very slowly, even so slowly that you feel as if you haven't changed, even like walking a tightrope. Therefore, to change a situation, the most important thing is to rely on your own subjectivity. Although outside help is also important, at that time. Internal factors do not play a decisive role, and internal factors are still your subjective initiative. External factors only play an auxiliary role, especially psychological problems. No superb psychological counselor or psychiatrist can change a person, only through his counseling, his advice and his help. Only when people with psychological problems accept your ideas and help and change this image themselves can the problem be finally solved. So your inner social phobia is not a question of whether you can change your name. The most important thing is whether you want to change and whether you are willing to accept help from others. If you are willing to accept others' help with an empty cup, then you will actively change it, which will not only change, but also change soon.
Of course, if you need help, watch my channel. I wish you get out of your confusion as soon as possible.
Nothing can't be changed, mainly depends on what you want, what you pursue and to what extent. For introverts, the first challenge is themselves. You can find an extroverted job, exercise yourself, or make some extroverted friends, take part in some social entertainment, let others know you, get familiar with you and accept you, and you will let yourself go, blend in and express yourself, which will make you more confident and smile in the mirror every day.
I'm sure I can
Get out! Me too. We all need to break through ourselves.
In your life, you should have had such an experience: when you meet an acquaintance, you will deliberately avoid calling, even if it is a very close friend. When communicating with people, you can't fully express your views and are afraid to attend social gatherings with strangers?
These are all lack of social skills. For those who are too nervous to speak when they meet people they don't know very well, it's not that they don't want to communicate with others, but they just can't restrain their inner fears and don't know how to communicate with others. Being misunderstood by others because you can't express your thoughts properly, and the bad feedback from the other party will deepen your inner frustration. This unpleasant experience will make you avoid speaking in front of others. Over time, I gradually lost interest in interpersonal communication and lacked confidence.
How to overcome social phobia?
To accept yourself, you can start by stopping criticizing, criticizing and blaming yourself, stop demanding yourself and stay away from negative emotions. After facing the truth, I often find that the truth is not as terrible as I thought before. Learning to accept yourself, keep a normal mind and face it is the key to successfully overcome social phobia!
Participate in your favorite social group activities and try to actively associate with peers and strangers. A person who gradually gets rid of shyness and fear in the actual communication process and makes himself cheerful, optimistic and open-minded. To improve their own shortcomings. Most people who are afraid of socializing are introverted, so we should pay attention to exercising their own personality.
Introverts actually have many advantages, such as being serious, practical and steady. At the same time, personality and temperament can not determine a person's wisdom and career achievements.