Legend has it that this was stipulated by our ancestor Xuanyuan Huangdi.
The Yellow Emperor defeated Chiyou, calmed the war, established a tribal alliance, stopped group marriage, and ended the barbaric Li Dynasty. The era of human civilization has begun.
How difficult it is to change to monogamy in the age of human beings who are used to group marriage! This may be a great revolution five thousand years ago. For the newly unified tribal alliance, there are some factors that are extremely unfavorable to unity in the group marriage system, and there are often incidents of robbing marriage, not only for men, but also for women. Tribes in the new alliance often fight over marriage snatching. Over time, contradictions will inevitably intensify and the tribe may split again. Huangdi often frowns for this matter. He found the ministers around him, such as Chang Xian, Da Hong, Hou Feng, Li Mu, Cang Xie and others. After many discussions on how to stop group marriage and establish monogamy, no one has come up with a feasible way. One day, the Yellow Emperor accompanied a group of giants to check whether the caves where people lived were safe. Suddenly, I found a family living in three caves. In order to prevent the invasion of wild animals, they built high walls around them with stones, leaving only one door for people to enter and leave. This discovery immediately aroused the interest of the Yellow Emperor. That night, he called all the ministers around him. The Yellow Emperor said, "I have an idea to stop group marriage. Let everyone talk about it and see if it works. " . Ministers are all called Huangdi. Say it. The Yellow Emperor said, "Today, we saw the caves where people lived. I think the only way to stop group marriage is to call tribal people to congratulate, hold ceremonies, worship heaven and earth, parents and future couples. Then, celebrate with wine, sing and dance, and announce that they are officially married. Then, the husband and wife will be sent to a cave (room) prepared in advance, surrounded by high walls, leaving only one door to enter and exit. Eating and drinking will be sent by relatives of both men and women at home, from March to forty days, so that they can establish feelings in the cave, learn to cook and learn to live. In the future, all men and women who are married by tribal men are called formal marriages, and men and women who rob others are no longer allowed. In order to distinguish married women from unmarried women, all married women must tie their unkempt hair in a knot. People know at a glance that this woman is married, and other men can't make other plans, otherwise it will violate tribal regulations. "
When the Yellow Emperor finished this proposition, he was immediately supported by Chang Xian, Da Hong, Li Mu and others. Many people suggested that Cang Xie should make a law and make it public, and this idea was quickly supported by various tribes and people. People rushed to dig caves (houses) and build high walls for their children. As soon as their children got married, they were sent to the bridal chamber after the ceremony. The bad habit of group marriage gradually disappeared.
However, thousands of years of customary forces are the most terrible forces, which are deeply rooted and cannot be completely changed overnight. Some people are not used to monogamous life for the time being. It is said that there is a pair of hunting experts, the male is Shi Jie and the female is Mu Miao. Both parents agreed to get married. After the wedding, both of them were sent to the bridal chamber. After living for less than ten days, Shi Jia began to feel that it was meaningless to stay with only one woman all day. It is best to get married in groups. You can find two or three a day with whichever you like. Mu Miao also felt uncomfortable in the bridal chamber. It's really boring to be with a man all day. It is better to be free in group marriage and love each other for a few days. I don't like to find another man in a few days. How free it is. Because both of them have the idea that they don't want to live a monogamous life, one night, while the night is deep, both of them climbed up the wall and fled separately.
Shi Jie and Mumiao both fled into the big forest, where no one lived. The more anxious they are, the more frustrated they are. I didn't bring hunting gear, for fear of wild animals. After dawn, thirsty and hungry, they unconsciously came together again. In order to save their lives, the two had to live alone. Picking wild fruit mushrooms all day to satisfy hunger. Because I got lost, I couldn't walk out of the big forest for a while and didn't know what to do. Now, they realize that no one can live without anyone at this moment. One day, they were really thirsty, hungry and tired, and both of them were lying under a big tree to rest. A swarm of bees buzzed over his head. The stone broke a branch and beat it around to disperse the bees. Unexpectedly, the bees got angry and stung them all over. Shi Jia found that the bees were coming out from the cracks in the trees and took out the flint they carried with them. He told Mu Miao to pick up the dry wood and soon got a fire. They pulled out matchsticks from the fire, split the tree and continued to burn. In an instant, the bee burned its wings and could no longer fly. The flame passed through the tree gap, burning the hive, and honey oozed from the tree gap. At first, neither of them knew what it was, but it smelled good. They dipped a little in their hands, put them in their mouths and licked them with their tongues. It was very sweet. He asked Mumiao to taste it again. They decided that it was non-toxic and quickly picked up some bark and filled all the honey that flowed out. They had to pick mushrooms in the forest all day and dip them in honey to satisfy their hunger. In this way, I spent a whole month in the big forest. Fortunately, it was discovered by Yu Ze, a hunting expert under the Yellow Emperor, and the stone pier and Mumiao were saved.
After tossing and turning in the big forest for more than a month, the young couple were on tenterhooks all day, afraid that wild animals would attack them. No one wants to be apart, and no one can live without anyone. Only when the relationship between husband and wife is getting deeper and deeper can we truly appreciate the taste of love. After returning to the tribe, Shi Jie and Mu Miao never separated, and the young couple established a happy family from then on. This is the origin of the "bridal chamber honeymoon" that has been passed down to this day.
The "marriage" in modern society is the "wedding room" in the past.
2. Where did marriage come from?
Wedding anniversary wedding anniversary generally has the following names: one year: paper wedding two years: cloth wedding three years: leather wedding four years: silk wedding five years: wood wedding six years: iron wedding seven years: copper wedding eight years: electric wedding/copper wedding nine years: ceramic wedding ten years: tin wedding fifteen years: crystal wedding twenty years: porcelain wedding twenty years: silver wedding thirty years: pearl wedding thirty-five years. Forty years of jade marriage: forty-five years of ruby marriage: fifty years of sapphire marriage: fifty-five years of golden marriage: sixty years of jade marriage/jade marriage: seventy years of diamond marriage: 1. If marriage is the grave of love, the annual anniversary celebration is "sweeping the grave"; 2. If marriage is the grave of love, the model husband is only a "model graveyard" at best; 3. In love, some people "feel like they are dead"; In marriage, some people "see death as death".
What is marriage? Literally, we can basically know that the word "marriage" in marriage means "a person" with a bar on it. Just like the word "prisoner" of a prisoner, it obviously means to imprison a person and restrict personal freedom. No wonder there is a saying that marriage is a "besieged city", which is really wonderful! ! From this basis, the view that "marriage is the grave of love" is not nonsense, but a continuation of rationality.
Looking at the word "marriage" with the word "female" as the edge, it can be seen that the imprisonment function of this marriage is more biased towards women. When a man walks into marriage, he is happy with several boats. Women can only turn a blind eye, although it is inevitable to be unbalanced, but there is nothing they can do.
A woman, if she is a little jealous, can't have both "fish" and "bear's paw". Maybe in the end, she will lose her wife and soldiers at the same time. On emotional issues, women are definitely the biggest victims.
Speaking of "marriage", why are there so many problems compared with "love"? I think it is more about life. There is a saying that "love is a short-lived romance and marriage is a permanent responsibility", which should be the biggest difference between love and marriage.
Love is often a temporary enjoyment and satisfaction, while marriage is more of a responsibility, and this so-called responsibility focuses on life. Before marriage, there are no burdens such as family and children. I can spend every day naturally, pavilions, loveless, carefree and tireless; After marriage, you have to support the burden of a family. Men have to support their families, struggle outside, work hard, have great pressure and are exhausted physically and mentally; Women have to do housework, face many things at home all day, and deal with the relationship between relatives and friends, especially after having a child, how much effort and energy it takes to bring up a child, and make plans for his future growth and education. These are huge material, financial and energy inputs.
Under various pressures, who has much leisure and romance? Especially when life is in question, what is romance synonymous with? -Drink the northwest wind. Of course, no one will come forward at this time with the slogan of "be affectionate and drink enough", and it is strange for others not to say that you are sick.
Marriage is facing a crisis of survival, there is little love left, and the death of love is also reasonable. So, are those married senior officials and wealthy families better? Not necessarily. If you don't listen to the popular saying "money doesn't necessarily make you happy", it is quite popular. Although everyone agrees that "no money is absolutely impossible, and happiness is sometimes based on economy", the two are not contradictory, to some extent.
There is no problem with feelings, and life is prone to problems; It seems to be a rule that if there is no problem in life, feelings will easily go wrong. I think many people never give up at the most difficult time in their lives. They shared weal and woe, and worked hard to make up for the rest of their lives.
But when we worked together, we gradually laid a solid foundation and lived a good life. On the contrary, our feelings have become more and more fragile, and even become strangers and go their separate ways, which is really intriguing. Think about it, what kind of life are people pursuing? Never satisfied! What has this marriage become? A tool to hide people's eyes and ears, a cover to show off under the signboard.
Speaking of which, I think of a couple around me. Their personalities are completely different, their friends are warm and generous, but their husbands are indifferent and silent, giving people a feeling of rejecting people thousands of miles away. Outsiders will never look back again. We are all talking about how they get along. Even his mother-in-law says that only a young couple can live.
Strangely, they have been married for more than ten years, and they still respect each other as guests, loving and happy, which is really enviable. We can see that some people around us are like-minded and soul mates, but in the end, the more they love, the more they hurt.
Is it true that the laws of physics say that "positive is negative and positive is positive"? Two people with too similar personalities are prone to collision, and only with harmonious personalities can they complement each other. Is this the skill of marriage? Speaking of "getting married", I think of some stories I saw on TV. I believe many people will remember the part of "marrying the wrong sedan chair".
At first, the couple never even met the groom's official face, and even got on the wrong sedan chair on the road. In the end, I didn't find my own happiness, but I really got on the wrong sedan chair and married the right person. Let's look at another Korean drama, Romantic Room. At the beginning, the two were forced to get married by the external situation. They also signed an agreement with each other, stating all kinds of taboos and regulations in "marriage" and agreeing to divorce after half a year. But what happened in the end? Love is inseparable, but it is really "unintentional."
There are also Ding Shan and adventure in Fenghuo, and Cheng He is the best in the world. They all told the judge about it, and they didn't have much expression of love and affection. They quarrel when they touch each other, but in fact they love each other to death and are inseparable. Another example is a pair of friends around me, who got married in less than a month and are still very loving. However, the couple talked for several years before entering the marriage hall, which can be said to be very understanding. In the end, they are still struggling.
Look at some people who have gone through a lot of hardships and walked together despite all difficulties, but in the end they ended up in ruin and betrayal, really.
3. What is marriage like?
You should look at this problem with a normal heart. Different people have different opinions. In fact, loving someone is a very happy thing! Since we love each other, sincerity is the most important thing. Only by loving each other can we have a family, and having a family can make us happy. A happy and perfect family is a woman's best destination and a safe harbor. Men should shoulder the heavy responsibility of family and make their women feel safe. For men, the most important thing is responsibility, and more importantly, responsibility. Whether their married life is happy or not depends on mutual trust and understanding.
As the saying goes, it takes a hundred years to cross the boat and a thousand years to sleep on the pillow. Feelings need mutual tolerance and understanding, and marriage needs careful care and management. This may be your past life, this life continues! Love what you love, no regrets, and friends cherish those who love you or you love! I wish you happiness; Sweet feelings, harmonious family and happy marriage.