Adolescence is a transitional period from childhood to adulthood, during which great changes will take place in the physiology and psychology of teenagers. Professor Faye, an official in charge of the Asia-Pacific region of the World Health Organization, pointed out that adolescents account for one fifth of the world's population, and adolescent reproductive health is an important part of the reproductive health of all mankind. At present,150,000 young women under the age of 20 are pregnant every year in the world, and 2-4 million teenagers have unsafe abortions every year. Due to the lack of reproductive health education for adolescents, almost half of the HIV infected people in the world are young women under the age of 25.
Experts pointed out that under the objective reality that premarital sex is widespread and the society is more open to sex, the education and services on sexual and reproductive health of teenagers and unmarried young people should be incorporated into the planning of the government and relevant departments as soon as possible, so as to guide their behavior and provide them with reproductive health knowledge and services such as reproductive knowledge, contraceptive knowledge and sexually transmitted diseases in a timely and appropriate manner.
Mother and daughter have conflicts during menopause and adolescence.
In life, I often encounter such troubles: after children enter adolescence, they always love to be against their parents; At the same time, many primary and middle school students, especially junior high school girls, also list "my mother doesn't trust me and doesn't understand me" as one of their main concerns, which makes family relations very tense.
According to experts, the daughter enters puberty, mostly middle-aged women around the age of 45, and begins to enter menopause in the medical sense. At this stage, we should be alert to the conflict between menopause and adolescence.
Medical research shows that the "menopause" between the ages of 45 and 55 is a psychological crisis for women. Although women at this stage are mature and capable, due to their heavy social and family responsibilities, their internal endocrine changes, other physiological functions gradually decline, and their physiological and emotional fluctuations are very large. They are often manifested as vasomotor symptoms such as hot flashes and sweating, irritability, anxiety, tension and depression, and are losing the charm and charm of young people.
The survey shows that the psychological quality of the mother is more directly related to the child's personality. Mothers are calm and democratic, and children's personalities are mostly cordial, frank and active. When the mother is too strict, children are easy to escape, resist or be timid; The mother is hot and cold, and the child is neurotic, self-righteous, irresponsible and impatient.
Mothers should guide their daughters to learn emotional adjustment.
Therefore, menopausal mothers should pay special attention to the health of their emotional life, learn to channel their emotions reasonably, and should not let themselves drift or forcibly suppress them. They should train and guide their daughters to learn emotional adjustment, especially to set a good example for their daughters in the adjustment of negative emotions.
The maturity of children needs the parents to let go.
My mother is 45 years old and usually well maintained, so she is still very beautiful. 2 1 year-old, she and I are like sisters. Some time ago, I met an excellent boy. My mother went with me on our first date. But not long after, I found that my mother contacted him while I was not paying attention and sent him a photo. That boy is embarrassed, and I am also very upset. I'm not a little girl anymore. Why did my mother do this? (Ying Ying)
There is a mother-daughter war in the world.
This kind of war is as fierce as father and son. To some extent, we will be entangled with our parents all our lives. It is called entanglement because love and hate are intertwined. The so-called love and hate intertwined, that is, when needed, we are refusing; While we are pushing away, we are eager; Or we express our desire by pushing away, and we express our desire by pushing away. This is the legendary "torsion bar", and we are expressing the opposite content in various opposite ways. Like your story.
You and your mother seem to have a complementary relationship. Your mother is more like a young man, while you are relatively conservative. Why is this happening? Our family background is like a dish. If parents are cooks, children can freely choose to eat vegetables or meat on them. If the parents also become foodies, then when she eats all the meat on the dish, the child can only choose to eat the dish. We will see this phenomenon in many families. Parents are conservative and children are fashionable. Parents are sexy and children are backward. Subconsciously, children need to avoid the limelight of their parents and suppress their other side. Because in this family, the spotlight is on mom, and in this family, only one person can be the most dazzling woman. So your story is actually very ordinary, ordinary enough to become a classic fairy tale. This fairy tale is called Snow White.
The daughter grows up and needs her father to love her mother.
Fairy tales are deeply rooted in people's hearts because they are the prototypes of many of our relationships. In fact, it's not that mothers can't be sexy, but how mothers face their children's sexiness: if they are afraid and jealous, becoming a woman is a terrible forbidden area for children. Because it means that maybe I will lose my relationship with my mother, maybe I will take her place in this family, maybe my youth will make my mother feel that the years are flying ... that is to say, my maternal love will only exist when I am a harmless little girl; If I cross the line, what awaits me is the collapse of this family. As a result, women become the exclusive of mothers, and daughters must be the foil of mothers. This is the cruelest part of this fairy tale.
The two heroines in this story are actually full of fear of being a woman, so the mother is afraid that her daughter will take away her part as a woman, and the daughter will secretly hate a mother who has deprived herself of that part as a woman.
When mother and daughter can't hate each other freely, they lose the ability to love each other freely and have to entangle. At this time, the most inseparable thing between mother and daughter is dad. If dad can appreciate the beauty of mom as a woman, then mom doesn't need to deprive her daughter of her charm.
So the biggest difficulty for you is that once you quit the long-formed role of family, your family may collapse like a domino, your mother will face the cruel topic of aging, and your father will have to face a sad woman. This is why we are always entangled with our parents-many times we are caught by the power of the system, and when we want to get out of this system, this system will hold us in various ways.
It takes a process for a girl to leave her mother.
Have you heard the story of raising turtles in bottles? Your stories are very similar. You are getting bigger and bigger, and the bottle at home can no longer hold you. Like Snow White, she tried to escape to the seven dwarfs. Perhaps mentally, she tried to get herself back into the sequence of children, but she still inevitably grew up. The little girl wants to grow up, but she is stuck between loyalty to her parents, fear of losing her parents and desire for women until a powerful prince charming helps her out of this bottled world.
Generally speaking, a girl needs the following process to leave her mother: 1. Found out that she wanted to have her own world. 2. Wandering in the dilemma of loyalty to mother. 3. Sacrifice for mother gradually turned into hatred for mother, just like Snow White. When her mother is very evil, Snow White can leave her mother without scruple. 4. Began to forgive my mother, because she has her own world and her own Prince Charming, so she can face her mother with some guilt and some satisfaction without living in a world of guilt and anger.
In fact, what you need is very simple, that is, to talk about a love alone. But in fact, you need to accomplish more than that, because growing up means rejecting your parents' needs, and then building your own world with yourself as the center. At the same time, you should go on the road with guilt, not stay in a bottle with anger.
Autism: Children on Distant Planet
The soul of autistic children is like being trapped in a robot that is out of their control. This robot blocks information from the outside world and prevents them from expressing themselves.
Yiyi doesn't look like an autistic child at all, especially lively, with big eyes flickering. He looked at the clock on the wall for a while and counted it loudly; One minute he shouted "I want to go home", and the next minute he said he wanted to eat snacks in order to capture an energetic four-or five-year-old boy. Why do you suspect that noisy children are autistic? "This is not a doubt, it has been diagnosed." Yi yi mother gave a wry smile. Sure enough, after spending some time with Yiyi, I will find that no matter what my mother says, Yiyi's eyes are always free. He doesn't look at anyone, and no one knows where the focus of his eyes is ... no eye contact, which is one of the core symptoms of autism.
I found that Yi was different from most children when she was very young. For example, he can only talk when he is about 2 years old, later than other children; As early as he was about 7 months old, his parents found that he could not communicate with people with his eyes. These are typical symptoms of autism, but they were not taken seriously at that time, because no parents are willing to admit that their children may be sick, and Yiyi is better than her peers in memory and observation, which makes parents even more reluctant to think the worst. They always tell themselves that it would be nice if Yi Yi grew up and went to kindergarten. ...
However, the kindergarten teacher's words completely shattered their expectations. "Yiyi has behavior problems", the teacher told parents, which forced them to thoroughly reflect and re-look at every behavior of Yiyi:
Yiyi is not as curious as other children. He usually refuses to learn anything new, but once he likes it, he will repeat it endlessly. From time to time, he seems to have entered another world, losing consciousness of everything outside himself, hearing nothing and seeing nothing.
Yiyi likes watching TV very much, but he doesn't like cartoons. He only likes watching advertisements and learns advertising language quickly. In addition, he likes wheels since he was very young, and he likes the way the wheels keep turning, and he has been drawing wheels when painting. In other words, he likes things that are mechanically repeated.
Yiyi's partial eclipse is very serious. She only eats meat, eggs and milk and refuses to eat anything else. And what he wants to do is often done without saying it. When his parents educated him, he insisted on saying it many times, but he still refused to change, and he looked very disobedient.
Yiyi fell easily when she was a child, and sometimes she fell for no reason. She has grown up a lot. But he can't do fine movements. It took him a long time to learn to use scissors. He has never been able to hit the ball.
When others talk to him, Yi Yi often doesn't answer, and when he answers, he often answers irrelevant questions and never looks at each other. Sometimes when he suddenly becomes quiet, he keeps playing with his hands and waving his food, just like painting in the air.
As a last resort, her parents took Yiyi to the Sixth Hospital of Peking University. Through the scale and serum examination, Yiyi was diagnosed as really suffering from this terrible disease-autism.
Autism: a congenital mental disability disease
Autism spectrum disorder (ASD), also known as autism, is the most typical and common disease in children with pervasive developmental disorder (PDD). Its main features are severe loneliness, lack of emotional response, language development disorder and rigid repetitive actions. Before the concept of 1943 was put forward, people called autistic children "children whose souls were stolen by the devil". Nowadays, people describe them as children living on distant planets.
Autism is different from autism in general. It is not a psychological problem, but a developmental disorder caused by abnormal brain, that is, a congenital physiological disease. At present, the medical community does not know the etiology and pathogenesis of autism, but only knows that it is caused by many factors, among which genetic factors and environmental factors during fetal brain development may be the most important reasons for autism.
Children of distant planets.
In order to let more people know about autism, in 2008, the United Nations designated April 2nd as "International Loneliness Day". Some institutions have held free clinics. Among the children in the free clinic, there is also a boy who looks more like the real version of "Schell": he has outstanding mathematical ability and memory, likes mobile phones and computers, but can't communicate with people normally. His life is like following a rigorous "procedure". Once disturbed, he will become extremely irritable ... According to Professor Zheng Yi, vice president of Anding Hospital, such children are often very interested in one aspect and quite outstanding, but what they don't know is how to communicate with others through eyes, gestures, language feedback, etc.
Early treatment, but also insist.
According to Professor Zheng Yi, autism is not incurable. On the contrary, for the treatment of autism, a developmental disorder, as long as we seize the opportunity and guide it correctly, we can make these autistic children "from distant planets" understand the language of the earth and live a normal life. For them, every day may be an opportunity. Never give up, never give up.
The work of children receiving treatment.
"For children with autism, no matter their age, there is always an opportunity for treatment, and every day can be an opportunity for treatment," Fang Fang, chief physician of neurology department of Children's Hospital, said in an interview with GuoShu.com. Dr. Fang believes that autistic children can integrate into society and engage in some manual labor according to their personal characteristics after long-term targeted treatment.
There are about 20 hospitalized children in Beijing Autism Rehabilitation Center. Because of the particularity of autism treatment, children's parents often quit their jobs, and Wan Li came here to accompany them. But obviously, the price is huge. ...
Just like the title of the movie "Children on a Distant Planet", the treatment of autism needs to be careful, patient and careful, just like teaching aliens to speak the earth language. Of course, respect is even more essential for them.
Mentality decides everything
Why some people are more successful than others, earn more money and have better jobs. And many people are busy with work, but it is still difficult to make a living. In fact, there is not much difference between people, just a matter of mentality-mentality determines everything.
Mentality decides everything
Many psychologists have found that this secret is the "mentality" of people. A philosopher said, "Your mentality is your real master." A great man once said, "Either you control life, or life controls you." Your mentality determines who is the mount and who is the jockey. "
The small difference is reflected in the way of thinking, and the big difference lies in whether the way of thinking adopted is positive or negative. Nine times out of ten, the losers actually gave up the hope of success, not being defeated. Their lives were guided and dominated by past failures and doubts, but they got worse than expected. On the other hand, successful people are optimistic and think positively. There are hardships everywhere in life, and the key lies in whether one's psychology can bear them. Failure is a temporary detour, not a dead end. It is precisely because of this concept of failure that we can overcome ourselves, surpass ourselves and move towards the glory of life.
Whether a person is happy or not depends on his mentality, which determines everything. When you encounter difficulties and sadness, you should think that it is temporary, and believe that the sunshine is always after the storm. When doing something, most people often have no patience and can't stick to it. Sometimes they think, how did this happen? Well, after thinking about it, I feel that people are doing strange things, and consciousness determines action. When I am doing something and have no patience to persist, I always tell myself, don't give up, I must persist until the end, and persistence is victory!
On the road of life, a positive attitude will add more colors to your life, and a good attitude is the key to success. Keep a consistent attitude and form a good foundation, so that a positive attitude can bring happiness and happiness to your success!
Mentality determines everything. If you choose to be happy, you should change your habits and personality from today. You should make yourself easy-going, tolerant, friendly, enthusiastic, caring and helpful every day. Smiling and happiness are the lubricants of healthy interpersonal relationships. Smiling and happiness can bring you more friendship and sweeter love; Smile is the source of health.
Loneliness is faint.
I was afraid that I wouldn't go out without company. Now I can walk alone in the street, watching and buying what I need, and sometimes I enjoy loneliness. When I am lonely, I feel calm as a lake, listening to music, letting go and writing. Since I began to obey my heart more and more, I began to reduce my contact with those unnecessary people. Everything has become a person, a person to eat, a person to go to class, a person to go to the streets. Enjoy loneliness, there is light in loneliness, and light shines on myself to make my spirit complete.
Loneliness is faint.
In my memory, I felt lonely for the first time when I was four years old.
Many children were found playing hide-and-seek together. I don't know if I'm too secretive, or if they don't care. I can't be found back and forth several times. In desperation, everyone lost patience and went home. I feel a sense of accomplishment in my heart, but no one can share it. Outside the window, the sun sets and the evening breeze is slightly drunk. I have nowhere to express my joy, but I feel great loneliness swelling in my heart.
The second time was five years ago, at the Hong Kong airport, my father clumsily waved to me walking alone to the security checkpoint. I turned my head, lowered my eyes and pretended not to see it, for fear of tears. I naively believe that my father will be an eternal mountain. I just turned 14 years old that year and went to England alone. Since then, I have never stopped and always seem determined to go to one place after another.
This kind of loneliness, with the growth of age, appears more and more frequently without warning. Many times I will ignore it, and sometimes there is nowhere to run. For example, one year in San Francisco, I had a high fever. When I woke up, I forgot where I was. I just drink water like crazy and want to recover quickly. In a performance in Los Angeles, I played an Arab girl and stood in the cold wind for five hours. At the curtain call, a little girl with blonde hair and a pink veil came out of nowhere and suddenly hugged me and said Merry Christmas. Looking at the back of her mother holding her hand, I don't know whether I met an angel or a bodhisattva, but no one said. Last winter, having afternoon tea on the top floor of Goodman on Fifth Avenue, it suddenly snowed heavily in new york, reflecting the fading sky and lights in new york, as if it were a burning tree. Sitting next to me is my 14-year-old good friend who met when I was in junior high school in England, but under this extreme warmth and peace of mind, I feel lonely and feel that everything that happened in recent years seems so unreal and no longer exists.
The last time was when I left home. I sat on the suitcase and thought for a long time. I heard the sound of the clock moving, and remembered what my mother said. The thing I hate most in my life is to hear the sound of the hour hand striking. At this moment, I began to doubt all the decisions I had made, whether they were meaningful or not, and whether I would not regret them. If they are right, I should have no worries, and loneliness should not go hand in hand. This question will be answered in a few months.
One autumn night, I was alone in the pottery room making pottery. It has been four hours since eight o'clock, and I didn't look at the time until twelve o'clock. When I left, I pushed open the door and looked down at a small piece of new snow this year. Walking in the pine forest, the stream under the wooden bridge froze. I remembered Walden Lake described by Thoreau and realized that it was close to his lake in Concord. There seems to be a lake of my own in my heart. When I am almost moved by what others have and like, I can see the ripples in this lake because of my thoughts. When I came to my senses, the lake calmed down because of my missing.
I began to like someone. In my opinion, solitude is not necessary, but solitude in the spiritual world. I either read, write or watch my favorite movies, cook and exercise, but I never have free time. If I want to talk to others, I will listen carefully and talk well. When I don't feel the need to express myself, I will shut up. Later, I gradually no longer needed to keep warm in the crowd, and felt that there might be light on myself.
After I like being alone, time passes very quickly. Every day seems to be a gift from heaven, or a gift from heaven. I feel very lucky. I don't have to go to class during the holidays. I just repeat such a simple thing every day. What knowledge do you suddenly want to know before going to bed tonight? I can look up the information the next day and indulge in the beauty of this world.
When I was in beginning of spring this year, I stood on a wooden bridge and heard the sound of melting ice and snow. It was the sound of a mighty stream rushing to the warm ocean with the cold of the whole winter. I remember my mother saying that she hated the ticking of the clock. I think it sounds like a slow and inevitable heartbeat to her. And at that moment, I really wanted to tell her:
Mom, it can also be footsteps approaching dreams, as long as you believe that there is light in loneliness.
Little Prince: Born as a man, one of the compulsory courses in life is to get along with yourself: accept yourself, know yourself and love yourself deeply. Even if the outside world is 3,000 flowers, it will be defeated by a piece of pure glass in the heart. Loneliness is a choice, and loneliness is a strength.
There is light in loneliness. No matter what you have, we are all the same, born lonely. From the fear of loneliness at the beginning to the enjoyment of loneliness now, a person listens to music alone, reads books alone, walks alone in the street, watches the people around him rush by, thinks about his life, listens to the beautiful music from the coffee shop and enjoys loneliness. Loneliness is light, and there is no need to keep warm in the crowd, so he has a lamp on himself.
Self-psychological maintenance away from negative emotions
Constant pressure will reduce the skin's resistance, lose its protective effect and be easily infected by bacteria, viruses and parasites. And it is easily stimulated and eroded by physical and chemical substances, leading to dermatitis or eczema. In addition, excessive tension will make nails fragile, deformed and easy to break, making hair weak, thin or stiff, easy to break or fall off, and premature gray hair.
Therefore, rest can really play a role in beauty. There are several ways to eliminate bad emotions:
First, when you are in a bad mood, you can silently say "let nature take its course" or "control your anger" to change your mood. Because anger is punishing yourself for the mistakes of others. So there's no need to get angry.
Second, change people's mood with conscious actions, and change people's behavior with mood. For example, when you are upset, you can recall happy memories, play interesting games and watch some comedies, so that you can be in a happy position.
Third, tears can eliminate harmful substances in the human body. Crying when you are sad can relieve the depression in your heart and is good for your health.
Fourth, when you are extremely upset, you might as well tell your new friends what you think, so that your mind can return to a balanced state.
Five, cultivate their wide range of hobbies and interests, such as dancing, painting, fishing, reading newspapers, watching movies and other activities that enrich life, and often participate in social activities, which is conducive to promoting physical and mental health.
6. To maintain a cheerful and open-minded mood, we should always be in a state of happiness and forgetting worries from the bottom up. Smiling often can make people radiant and rosy, which is especially beneficial to enhance the elasticity of facial skin and prevent premature aging of skin.
Seven, abstinence, indifferent to fame and fortune, eliminate jealousy and overcome self-centered morbid psychology.
Eight, the four seasons of mental conditioning essentials, go out more activities or participate in spring outing, so that their thinking is open, less thinking, to avoid rage. Summer should be calm, open-minded, and not angry and arrogant. We should take various measures to cool off the summer heat and avoid irritability. In autumn, you should recharge your batteries, keep your inner peace, take part in some activities of climbing mountains and enjoying the scenery, and be in a relaxed state at all times. Save your strength in winter and wait for work.