In a marriage proposal, only passers-by are truly happy.
3. The stock market is divided into technology stream and value stream. My mother is a stream of consciousness. If subdivided, sometimes it is a stream of consciousness, and sometimes it is obscene.
4. If you don't underestimate yourself, you can find the bright spot in yourself and feel that the world is worthwhile.
It doesn't matter what others say about you. You don't live for others.
If the boss dares to let me light candles to work overtime, I really can't guarantee that only candles will be lit in the office.
7. Ask me why I don't find a boyfriend. Then why don't you go to Tsinghua? Don't you like it?
8. The motto of our family is: Do more with less money, do things without money, and it is best to spend other people's money to do your own thing.
9. If you can't live this life after listening to so many truths, you might as well live this life with a smile.
10. Doing housework is a woman's business, and even the voice of the sweeping robot is female. As soon as the machine was turned on, it began to be cleaned. I feel that if it is set to a male voice, he will only say: OK, I'll sweep it later! And then stuck motionless on the sofa.
1 1. If a woman is better than you, I think we should sincerely praise her and let her do more.
12. The wedding words at the wedding are the least important, and no one will say no, just like the user agreement before installing the software, and directly agree without reading it.
13. Can't cook? It doesn't matter. Pretend to be good at washing dishes after dinner.
14. "As a woman, I don't care what you want, as long as I want to pay."
15. Like is a feeling, and love is a responsibility. You can't be as headstrong as a child forever. You should learn to grow up, and your parents will not shelter you from the wind and rain forever.
16. I hope there is a tall and handsome workshop director who drives a cool open forklift and tells the whole workshop: "My forklift can only be used by Xiaohui."
17. dear earthquake volcano is not terrible as long as you are around, because you are even more terrible.
18. I changed the nickname of QQ to your name and signature, and changed it to your favorite lyrics. I designed the QQ show to look like you, and you noticed me and reported me as a liar pretending to be you.
19. If love and friendship leave you. Then a person is like being exiled. Go far away.
20. True love is to know what the other person wants and give it to the other person as much as possible, instead of just giving and touching yourself.
2 1. I wonder every day where all the money in the world belongs to me and what I am doing. Do you miss me?
There are philosophical classic sentences about talk shows. 22. It's the same as squeezing the subway. The morning peak and the evening peak are different. Morning rush: Don't touch me, I want to turn the world upside down. At night, I leaned over there and was obeyed by the world.
23. An idol is someone who accompanies you throughout your youth, but he doesn't know it.
24. Concept: Love wisdom, in order to absorb nutrients when reading and cultivate people's wisdom.
25. How jealous a woman must be to keep a man's heart.
27. Actually, I can't be love rat, and neither can love rat, because I think I can't hide my cheating, because my style is too exaggerated.
28. Sometimes, seemingly beautiful wishes often lead mankind to hell on earth.
Snoring is the terminator of all romance. The principle of girls snoring is the same as that of roosters crowing, which can make men awake instantly.
30. Those people all want to win and compete to choose me, which makes me under great pressure. I have never been competed by so many men in my life.
3 1. If you treat your father as a brother, your relationship with your mother will become very good. Because people say that women who are good brothers are pleasing to the eye.
32. Life is like this. When you fly high, you may forget that you have to fall.
When I was in America, it took the following team a week to finish the work. After returning home, almost the same team said it would take three days to complete. I don't think so: three days? ! The opposite thought I was too slow, so I said ok, plus overtime, two days will do.
34. Love is a heroic dream in a tired life, because with love, everyone has his own legend.
35. Nothing is difficult in the world, as long as you can escape.
36. Sometimes, love is a kind of injury. Cruel people choose to hurt others, and kind people choose to hurt themselves.
37. In this era of everything, too many people like to judge a book by its cover, and only take beautiful skins, but don't believe in interesting souls.
38. The company toilet is the only small corner where everyone can enjoy happiness freely.
39. Today, our theme is, has Beishangguang changed? Actually, I went to work in a first-tier city after graduation. I am in Shenzhen. I think life in this big city is extremely stressful and the rent is very high. At that time, my mother went to my place to have a look. Wow, my mother cried. My mother said, oh, you are too bitter. You said you lived alone in such a small and shabby place.
40. Besides teeth, there is love.
4 1. The world kisses you with pain, so don't sing back.
42. Actually, the difficulty is not terrible. The terrible thing is that no one shares it with you.
Talk show jokes
1, every emotion you experience helps you screen men and your inner needs. I like you, this is a confession; I need you. This is a kind of recognition. When you have nothing but the determination to meet all challenges, your last card, which is also the strongest card, is faith. 2. There are two kinds of the most difficult feelings in this world: one is that the man who always knows tears has shed blood for you. The second is that a man who only knows bleeding actually shed tears for you.
3. After the completion of major projects, there is still a surplus. The Standing Committee of the Provincial Party Committee held a meeting to study whether it should be used to improve the conditions for running schools in primary and secondary schools or to improve the prison environment. Opinions are divided. Finally, an old member of the Standing Committee decided to be Kun: Is there any chance to enter primary and secondary schools in this life? Suddenly there was silence, some wiped their sweat, and some bowed their heads and drank tea. Soon an agreement was reached to improve the prison environment.
4. I just walked past my colleague and saw several yellow things in his cup, dotted with red medlar. I asked him inexplicably: What? A: Coffee. I was struck by lightning: Do you put Lycium barbarum in your coffee? He answered seriously: the combination of traditional Chinese and western medicine is effective.
A Dai came to the restaurant: Give me a meatloaf, some bread and a kind word. When the waiter brought meatloaf and bread, A Dai asked, "What language do I need?" ? The waiter whispered, don't eat this meatloaf!
6. I'm not your little raccoon. It's fun to play without you. Life is too short to be sexy. Either endure it or be cruel. Part I: Maybe it seems so; Bottom line: However, it is not impossible. There are some things that don't need to be wrangling, superficial obedience and secret resistance. Dare to admit mistakes and never change. A man is a dog, whoever has the ability will take it away. The oath was just a slip of the tongue.
7. I ate too much and couldn't help burping three times in the car. Uh, uh, uh, a kid in the next seat was sitting on his mother's lap, and he said, go ahead. Everyone around me laughed to death.
8, don't cut corners, or you will run in vain; Don't take a long detour, or you will be late; Don't go astray, or you will go to jail; Don't go to the underworld, or you will get a knife; Don't just want, pay less; Don't worry, be sure to avoid impatience; It is natural to ask for nothing in return; Don't get it in a hurry, there will be no troubles if you are calm; Don't be afraid of people laughing, see who laughs till the end; Don't pretend to know and ask if you don't understand.
9. I think anyone's life can't be copied, and they can only learn from it, or sigh, the wonderful world. When you copy others, you are not yourself.
10, I have been to your world, but it's a pity that I just passed by; I hate it when you live in my heart. I am your passer-by, but you have become a permanent passer-by in my heart. I can't find any reason to be sad. No matter how bad you treat me, I'm not qualified to judge.
1 1, women's tenacity and tension are the basis for changing the world. Every woman has two opportunities to change the world: one is to influence the man, boyfriend or husband around you; The second is to educate your children.
/kloc-in the autumn of 0/2, in a math class, the teacher gave a moderately difficult question on the blackboard, and the names of two students came to mind, Bi Hai and Dou Chao. My mind wandered between two students, and finally Bi Chao blurted it out. Before the students could laugh, the teacher smiled first, and the whole hospital was accidentally opened!
Frye made great efforts to write a love letter to the girl he likes. Finally, he said: I will answer this paper and wait for your admission notice! Not long after, the reply came, with only four words in it: the quota is full. Frye refused to give up and sent another letter: How about I sign up for the next issue? This reply is: wait until the beginning of next semester!
14, enrich yourself and wait for the opportunity. On the surface, it is forbearance, but in the bones it is uncompromising. Because even when I endure it, I know in my heart why I endure it, for a bigger goal and to go further.
15, there are two kinds of people in this world, one is those who love us and the other is those who hate us. We should live a colorful life for those who love us, not for those who hate us.
16, I remember one day in summer, it was raining heavily. It's beautiful. She gave me a fancy paper box. I rushed home to protect it with my body. Open it and see, it is an umbrella!
17, why don't you have a boyfriend? Just say I want to chase you; Why don't you just say why you haven't come home yet? I'm worried about you. Why don't you just tell me what you are doing and miss me? ; Why don't you think what I think! Just say it's not because I love you; Why don't you just say whether you will leave or not? I said I can't live without you!
18, eight and a half months pregnant, the baby has been arching around in his stomach, and a small bump appears on his stomach from time to time. My husband was very excited when he saw it and said to me, come on, let's play with hamsters.
19, temporarily can't get this man's body, get his eyes first. His hand may be placed on another woman's waist, but his eyes follow you to say appreciation. Well, let him experience it more deeply.
20. If everyone walks in this world for a reason, then my mission is to convey these messages: kindness, truth, courage and wisdom.
2 1, you are always there, just like F 1 1, but you just don't know what to do. You can call me F4.
22. When you see that person, you will become a fool, afraid to look directly, and can only observe silently. Seeing that person will make you speechless, and you will be speechless when you ask in your heart. Seeing that man will turn into a grain of sand. At the mercy of the wind, lingering to the end of the world. Seeing that man, he is a policeman, I cried and said, give me a break this time! I don't see a yellow light. I am blind!
23. I always say that jokes are a loser's game. There are beautiful women to see, who will listen to jokes! Who can tell jokes when there are beautiful women to see!
24, we have been pursuing GDp, your salary is 5000, only 10% to 500; The house price is 50,000, and the increase of 10% is 5,000. Which one do you want to add? Everything is going up now. In this situation, our cross talk tickets should also go up a little.
25. There is a master named Kang in the company. Everyone calls him Master Kong. One day, a female colleague said, Master Kong, shall I make a bubble for you? No one expected Master Kong to say: It depends on whether you have so much water. The whole company is quiet.
26. Everyone has advantages, but everyone hates being called a leader. Office workers are very hard, and the salary is a monthly salary, but the workload does not include traffic.
27. A person often has the same dream. In dreams, he always finds himself discovering a great world secret, but when he wakes up, he doesn't remember anything. Finally, one day, he made up his mind to dig out the secret, so he put a pen and paper by the pillow and went to bed. When he dreamed again, when he seemed to wake up, he wrote down the secret of this world. When I woke up, I saw on the paper that bananas are big and their skins are big!
28. The reporter interviewed an old lady! The reporter asked: What do you think of setting off firecrackers casually in the city? Grandma: What else can I see? Just look through the window.
29. People must travel, especially girls. A girl's knowledge is very important. If you read more, you will naturally open your mind and broaden your horizons, which will affect your views on many things. Traveling makes people knowledgeable, especially girls. It will make them more confident and will not get lost in the material world.
30. If one day, we lose our memory and forget what we want. If one day we lose our voice and cannot express it. If one day we are blind, we will never see it again. If one day we lose it, we will never get it back. If one day we break our promise, we are no longer trustworthy. If one day we can't communicate, tolerate, talk, extricate ourselves and be lawless, what will we have left?
3 1, a man needs 65,438+10,000 yuan to buy a car, but this man only takes 99,998 yuan, which is just 2 yuan money! Suddenly, he found a beggar at the door. He went up to the beggar and said, Please give me 2 yuan money. I want to buy a car! Hearing this, the beggar generously took out 4 yuan money and handed it to the man, saying, help me buy one, too.
32. Life is only three days, and people who live in yesterday are confused; Those who live in tomorrow wait; People who live in the present are the most practical. You never know which will come earlier, the accident or tomorrow, so all we can do is try to live today well. Please remember: today is always the tomorrow that people who died yesterday expect.
33. The biggest illusion in life is that you can't catch up when you see the bus, but the bus has stopped for a long time, so you start to speed up. Just when you are about to arrive, it really begins!
34. Chinese cabbage, radish, kelp, vermicelli and tofu go to the restaurant happily. 1. The combination of sincere love is the purest of all combinations. Wish you all the best. . People ask: Why go? Go to eat shabu shabu! The man then asked, who is treating you? Mutton!
As I said before, I won't worship anyone, but if I want to worship anyone, it must be my future husband. The person who can marry me is the one who can really appreciate me and understand my value. The person who can be my husband really has taste, vision and vision!
36. W: I already have a boyfriend. M: I don't mind. I still like you. Others commented on a spoony man. M: I already have a girlfriend. W: I don't mind. I still like you. Others commented! Shameless mistress
37. Defending criminal suspects is the duty of lawyers and professional ethics; And these lawyers go to Chongqing, not only for Zhuang Li to meet China's lawyer, but also for holding a group. It's like the phonograph world, beating people with gongs and drums.
38. Face life sincerely. When fate meets a choice, what you hear is not the voice of others, but the most sincere voice in your heart.
39. Every time the subway runs, several people get off. I decided to take a cactus to work, and then I got off the subway and saw how aloe vera was.
Looking forward to the arrival of sweet love, talk about 42 sentences in the collection.
Looking forward to the arrival of sweet love, let's talk about article 1. As it turns out, nothing is really perfect enough to last us a lifetime.
2. Although years can't stay, friends will always be by your side.
3. Men and women, once in bed, will have requirements for each other; There are demands, complaints, complaints and pains; Where there is pain, there is resentment.
Sorry, I forgot, you don't need me anymore.
5. No comfort. No greetings. I always swim alone.
6. Many people tell you that there is a kind of sunshine that can penetrate your body and go straight to your heart. You don't believe it.
7. I will surpass my potential! What powers? I like you so much!
8. All princes like princesses, and so does the frog prince.
9. I thought there were some things I could control, but I couldn't help thinking about you and loving you. I hate myself. The long journey only brought me fatigue, and endless thoughts spread me out. I can't get rid of this net. In the emotional world, I am just an idiot.
10. Two people who are too alike either love each other very much or hurt each other.
1 1. The so-called love story is that you say something that you don't even believe, but you want the other person to believe it.
12. One of the secrets of happiness is to grasp the rhythm of love. Remind yourself of the current beat at any time, step on the right rhythm, stop when it is time, and leave when it is time; Enter when it is time to enter, and return when it is time to return.
13. Every woman yearns for love and happiness that people love. Hope to be protected, promoted and sympathized is a characteristic of women. Coupled with sentimentality and uncontrollable, it is often difficult for women to refuse each other. It makes them think they are in love.
14. I really want to go back to my childhood. If I am sad, I can burst into tears.
15. No matter how reasonable a man is, he can't beat a tear from a woman.
16. Too many people mistakenly understand innocence as purity. If you have gone through vicissitudes, you are still insisting on you, that is pure; If you have seen too little of the world and think you are, it is childish.
17. I want to be crazy in your life, in the world and in my heart all my life.
18. I speak for my silence, and I speak for my silence; I walked away for my return, and I came back for my walk away. True water should be tasteless, so true feelings should be silent.
19. If one day, I make you angry, you can hit me, scold me and be fierce, but don't leave me, OK?
20. The rosy sunshine shines all over the world, and romance lasts forever; Sprinkle happiness on your body, and the fragrance will last forever; Sprinkle warmth in the palm of your hand and care for it forever; Valentine's Day belongs only to you and me, soul mate!
2 1. I love you: I don't want much, a glass of water, a piece of bread, a sentence I love you; If you are extravagant, I hope: you pour your own water and cut your own bread, and you tell me that I love you. ...
I know I don't understand love, and I expect you to understand that without you, there is nothing waiting for your answer, let alone the love that God arranged for me.
23. I poured you a cup of hot water, but you want a drink. As a result, the more you drink, the more thirsty you are. But when the hot water was cold, my enthusiasm was limited. You should hurry.
24. Everything you meet is providence, and everything you have is luck. I hope someone will give you calm love and accompany you to see the flowing scenery.
25. Why are we all familiar with it? When we looked at each other, it was only a moment, but we all looked like strangers. Even a simple greeting, I look forward to it!
26. However, in any case, since you have chosen love, you should have no regrets. Even if the result is not satisfactory, learn to let go, let go.
27. Southerners love northern food, while northern men and southern women love it. The same love in different regions, together for a long time, love is always sweet. Friend, you don't have to wait, you don't have to hesitate, you dare to love if you dare to think, you don't have to care about its geographical restrictions, because time waits for no one, you dare to say love.
28. God is fair because he is unfair to everyone.
29. I only care about his present and future. If a person is in love with another person, this person is the beginning of life for him, and no amount of passion in the past is just a passing sight.
30. Every woman wants to have two men all her life, one is untouchable and the other is down-to-earth. One is hurt by you and painful for you, and the other makes you sad.
3 1. I am lucky to meet the person I love most in my lifetime.
32. Men of different ages have different views on women. But mature men have similar ideas about women in their hearts.
33. Rest at home on weekends, she always gets up earlier than you, then wakes you up and cleans, then takes you into the kitchen to show you a lot of dishes she bought, and then tells you that we cooked a lot of delicious food ourselves today. Then hug you and ask how you are.
Let's lock our fingers together forever.
35. You pushed me and made me refuel. You hugged me and made me "ok without hard support".
For those who don't love themselves, what they need most is understanding, giving up and blessing. Too much self-love is begging for charity. To love and be loved is a happy thing. Don't let this turn into pain.
Dear, I have given up this desperate love in my life! I wish there was an afterlife! Maybe only you and I can live together in the afterlife.
Desperate love is love. I never felt anything. I don't remember sadness along the way, but I remember happiness. I always want to realize what you expect of you. Desperate love is irreplaceable, and I am hurt like a confession.
39. Countless helplessness is exchanged for a lifetime of infatuation.
40. For thousands of years, you have been sitting alone in the blue boat because you have an expectation, an expectation that you will always have, an expectation that God will live up to your love, a wait, and an unknown future.
4 1. True love is not just talk, but how much you have paid. Love is not a mouth, but a lifetime.
42. Through the dust, tears become love.
Talk show lines
1, I believe that women's universities have changed eighteen times and become more and more casual.
You must tolerate my ignorance like your leader. I'm not saying that a leader must be ignorant. The basis of ignorance is leadership. This sentence is wrong! How can a leader be ignorant? If a leader is stupid, he is called great wisdom!
3. Later I went to observe (yuanxiao mold). It turned out that they vomited after drinking half a mouthful, and some vomited so badly that they didn't even have foam! Basically, they are hesitant all afternoon, and a cup of black coffee can drink cappuccino.
I believe Britain is the most beautiful country in Europe, especially Paris.
5. Hello, everyone! Hi! Ok ... I don't have much time to perform because my green card will expire soon. I grew up in the backcountry of China. One year in junior high school, we suddenly decided to repair dirt roads, lay bricks and cement, and let students take bricks to school ... We worked hard for three weeks and finally repaired the road. Many years later, I heard this word: child labor. I was immediately surprised. What? ! Are those children still paid for their work?
6. At the beginning of 2008, the Prime Minister said: 2008 will be the most difficult year. Nothing happened before the Prime Minister said this. As soon as the Prime Minister's voice fell, everything happened. After the Chinese New Year, a snowstorm; By plane, return; Take the train and derail; Sitting at home? There was an earthquake.
7. At present, the stock market in China has become an accident.
8. Everyone thinks that he is a stock god. Even the aunt who sells onions in the vegetable market said, "I have news!"
9. remember Marriage is a set meal to eat together, marriage is money, so we should go together.
10, (magnetic levitation),100 billion, solving the traffic problem of 30 kilometers.
1 1, Liu Huan for so many years, I have never found his neck.
12, every time Allah can see Premier Wen at the old farmer's house on TV, he always picks the most lost (dirty) person to shake hands (then Zhou Libo makes Premier Wen's statement): "We are late!"
13, at that time, malt extract should not be too strange! I went to my classmate's house and his mother made me a cup of malt extract. It was amazing! At that time, I gave the children malt extract! But I picked it up and looked at it. I'm dying. How can I get the opposite picture? Just put a few fucking (malted milk essence)! She thinks it's chicken essence! Also inserted a chopstick to call me: adjust a tune, adjust a tune! It was still a little confusing (turbid), very clear (very clear)!
14, a fire, a fire, burned our Daxinganling.
15, the worst thing is the cramp dance (cramp), where three or four hundred people dance together, as if they can't find the toilet.
16, think about it, this 380 yuan is useless at home, the most you can see, hey, this is counterfeit money! This is the beginning of HD!
17, if you spend 380 yuan in Maggie to see Zhou Libo and you don't laugh, you can take Zhou Libo to the hospital.
18, hybrids must be mixed as far away as possible if they want to be beautiful.
Chris Lee answered me a puzzling question. I didn't believe Mulan joined the army at first. How could Mulan join the army without being discovered? Later, I met Chris Lee, and I finally knew, oh! Facts have proved that it is technically feasible!
20. Yu-Ching Fei, I did the math for him. Every time I have a good concert in Shanghai, I run away the next day. He didn't spend money in Shanghai, which is not good for our GDp in Shanghai!
2 1, I believe my meal is good, because everyone who survived my meal said so.
22. I am very careful. I found that in swimming pools, especially female compatriots, the angle of these swimming trunks averaged 20 degrees for five years.
23. Bowing for so long is not to win applause. Actually, I mainly want people to check my head.
24. (Next to the high-voltage tower) A giant slogan reads: Do not touch the high-voltage line. If you touch them, you will die.
I believe that God is a woman, because she will never forget anything you did wrong.
26. Thank you! I feel very honored that so many of you have come to see me today. ...
27. I don't like Chinese mixed with English. It is very inappropriate and impossible to speak English when speaking Chinese.
28. I believe my wife's English is really not very good. She once again asked me how to spell the English word CCTV.
29. I believe that a healthy mind is the foundation of happiness, so I never have a physical examination.
30. The combination of two unfavorable factors makes us laugh and cry.
3 1. To be friends with a person, you should not only accept his advantages, but also like his shortcomings. This is called-lack of happiness (fool).
I believe people should go to bed early and get up early, and do more meaningful things in the morning, such as sleeping late.
33. The stock of Allah (us) not only plays with people, but also plays with birds. Even the bird was killed by you, so why does Allah play with a bird?
34, not a thousand years, but a Zhou Libo, you think I am a turtle!
35. A person must have a legal concept and know how to protect himself. Of course, after you know the law, you don't break the law, which is a waste.
36. And all my childhood memories were destroyed by my childhood. When I was in primary school, as part of my course, I went to work in rice fields. Next to the rice field is a quarry. They blew up rocks with explosives. It was there that I learned that light travels faster than sound, and the speed of sound is almost as slow as the speed of stone flying.
37. Do you remember cutting girls' swimsuits? It's like ... more than 600 Venetian knots. Later, a skirt was added, like a turtle's skirt.
38. Friends! Help! Big friends! Marlboro, in the pocket!
39. The most disabled people (poor) are those sparrows. The big screen in front of the securities company has never been red, but it has always been a bright green forehead. Sparrows don't understand. They thought that * * * Green Forest Park had arrived, and Zhong Yan Greenland had arrived. They only rushed to the big screen! Fight for one and die, fight for one and die.
40, collapse, is to collapse into pieces!