Degang Guo Yu Qian

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Here you are, according to Lao Guo's "Chyi Chin Painting and Calligraphy" in Tianjin Satellite TV's New Year performance. Some function words (well, ah, etc. Zan may be confiscated, but it shouldn't matter.

music

A: When everyone applauds, they all like to listen to cross talk.

B: Yes.

A: Crosstalk is the simplest art form. It is not easy to reach an agreement.

We must work hard.

A: champions are heroes. A face behind the wall.

what can I say?

A: You have to know everything.

Bird.

A: Astronomy and geography know everything.

B: Yes.

Be brave and don't be afraid to stand here.

B: That's right.

A: Alas, those audiences still have brains. They are afraid and can't speak cross talk. A face behind the wall

B: Why is this face so thick?

A: Oh, so many people are ashamed. That's it. Not a cross talk.

B: Yes.

A: This is a question of psychological quality. The face behind the wall is the champion hero.

B: this is the foundation.

A: And there must be artistic virtue. How many people sit under the stage is the same to us, it can be said that it is an audience.

B: That's right.

A: A hundred thousand viewers will all say the same thing.

B: Same.

A: You should behave well no matter what. There are few people today, so be lazy!

What do you mean by laziness?

A: It's hard to say.

B: Oh.

A: Without artistic morality,

B: That's not right.

A: It's the same as a bathhouse. Can I come alone without being washed by others?

That's impossible.

A: This pool is quite large, so the manager is more cautious when looking at it. "Oh, there is so much water in such a big pool, so much water.

Electricity, you rub it alone. Water!

B: Water?

This one is taking a good bath. When he bowed his head, huh? Is the tide ebbing?

B: Good! The water drained away.

A: Impossible.

B: That certainly won't do.

A: Many people and few people have to behave well. You should speak forcefully on any occasion.

B: That's right.

A: Besides, it's not the actor's final strength.

What's that spelling?

A: Culture.

B: Alas! This is the inside story

A: It is knowledge.

B: Hmm!

A: I have done a very good job for teachers in this respect.

Oh, you're welcome

This is a family heirloom.

You praised me.

A: That one is a scholarly family.

B: That's right!

A: After the eunuch,

B: After the eunuch? Don't say yet.

A: This identity. ...

B: Well done ... Stop it, stop it. After the eunuch, it was outrageous.

A: What should I do?

B: after the official!

A: After the official.

B: Alas!

A: The old man gave a thumbs up.

You′re laying it on thick.

A: People from Beijing.

B: Yes, from old Beijing.

A: I went to Beijing and listened to my teacher's father.

B: Yes.

That old man Ouyang.

You are such a mess. Wait a minute. My surname is Yu, and my father gave me a compound surname.

A: I like this one. I don't know who to put it on.

B: Don't put it on me. It must be named after it, too.

His father set a good example for him.

That's true.

A: That is the foundation of a scholar.

B: Oh!

A: Besides, I am proficient in piano, chess, calligraphy and painting.

B: Very rich.

A: These four words look very simple, piano, chess, calligraphy and painting. It is not easy to do Haier well and do it well.

That's not easy.

Take this piano as an example.

Father.

A: Confucius once said that all scholars should be able to play the piano.

B: That's right.

Answer: It represents identity and cultivates sentiment.

B: elegant.

A: What kind of piano? Not harmonica, piano and accordion, no.

B: That's western music.

A: heptachlor!

B: That's right. This is the guqin.

Also known as Qin Yu.

B: Yes.

A: Guqin, called Fu in ancient times, saw the phoenix fall on the plane tree, cut it down and measured it, three feet three.

B: There are sizes.

A: Cut it three times at a time, and this festival will take 7749 days to soak in long running water.

B: Ouch!

A: Take it out and dry it in the shade, and this piano is made.

Too particular.

A: The outside is based on the fire, water and soil in Jin Mu, and the inside is based on Gong Shang's angle.

B: Have a look.

A: Five tones. Later, Zhou Wenwang missed his son and added a string to the Bo Yi exam. This is called Wen Xian.

B: Yes.

A: King Wu added a string called banjo.

B: Wu Wen.

A: It's called the military and civilian lyre.

Look.

His father is an expert in this field.

Yes, I do.

A: If nothing happens, the old man will practice, alas! It's not that it will be played by then.

B: Of course.

His father only has time every day.

B: Kung Fu thief. What happened? Is this playing the piano? this

Let's practice fingering.

B: Then we have to practice head-on.

I have a bosom friend. Sometimes I stay at home and don't like playing.

B: Oh.

A: There are rules in the seven laws, and six taboos and seven don't fight.

What do you mean?

A: There are many kinds of sayings, the most important of which is that you can't play without a confidant.

B: You have to have a bosom friend.

Sometimes I wait for my bosom friend to come.

Oh?

A: Grandma Wang, the neighbor.

Um ... this grandma Wang is my father's confidant?

A: Grandma Wang came: "Hey! Master Simon! "

B: Wait a minute. Why is my father the great Simon?

Your father writes easily.

That's not next to Simon.

A: The pen name is Simon Landlord.

My father has an evil name, right?

Master Simon, play the piano.

B: I like it.

His father is also very happy.

B: Yes.

Oh, here comes mother Wang.

B: Mrs. Wang!

A: Come and sit down. Burn a pot of incense

B: and burning incense.

Put this piano away. His father is playing here, and Grandma Wang is sitting next to him enjoying it and lighting a cigarette.

B: Still smoking ... OK! What's this feeling? Is this Grandma Wang's rogue style?

Answer: Play it!

B: Play!

Come on, your dad, close your eyes and concentrate.

Save your strength.

A: Knock, knock, knock.

B: don't rub it yet. Wait a minute. My father is playing the piano in the pigsty. This is a song played by the little pig when it comes out, you know?

Grandma Wang is dancing with her.

Oh, come on! Stop dancing.

This is playing the piano. Piano, chess, calligraphy and painting, and chess. Your father is sitting here, and Grandma Wang is sitting on the right.

B: There is always this king and horse involved.

No one else, just the two of them.

B: Only the old couple.

What do you mean by an old couple?

B: Nonsense! Make one piece forever. That's not an old couple.

A: Oh, oh. Play chess! It's called chess, everybody.

This is a game.

A: Let's look at the famous people in history, including those who play chess now. They are not ordinary people. They need brains.

B: It's the brain.

A: Sometimes for a long time, I don't leave a penny.

Really?

A: It took your father a long time to pick up one.

B: That's it.

A: Commander.

B: Military chess? Don't! You must play chess.

Who would?

B: What kind of knowledge is that? this is

A: Stop playing! Stop playing! Your father is very sorry, alas, I listened!

Are you kidding? this is ...

A: Qinqi calligraphy and painting! Cultivate sentiment.

Your father is particularly good at painting.

Well, this is serious.

Gentlemen, this painting is not that simple. Is his father good at painting?

B: He has practiced.

A: Hey, I've practiced more than that. What do you mean by Mei Julanju? He specializes in stanislavski.

This is used for painting. This one.

A: The nickname is Live stanislavski.

Hey, this nickname is hard to say.

A: I especially like drawing fans.

B: The department is exquisite.

A: I don't know anyone who is good at studying fans. This fan is very knowledgeable.

B: A fan!

A: I was very concerned before. It is said that this bra has a samurai belly and a monk's collar, and the sleeves are fanned.

B: tell us about it.

A: The abdomen of the bra is very strong. Scholars can't open this fan, so this, this is not good.

B: It's torn.

A: That's all. This is called a scholar.

B: A small corner.

A: Fan chest. Two scholars met here. Oh, hello, dear. Hello, dear brother. Excuse me, what is this word pronounced for?

B: Yes, I have.

A: This is the second reading.

B: What a scholar.

A: Scholars fan their chests and bras. What about Wudu?

What is this?

A: People who practice martial arts fan their stomachs.

B: It looks spectacular.

A: Big Brother. Brother. Have you practiced? I practiced.

B: H.

Just trampled two horses to death.

B: Hmm, hmm?

Two toads.

Two toads.

A: Bra, belly, monk's collar.

What is this?

A: The monk flapped his collar.

B: this inhaled air

A: Yo, this senior. Oh, brother. Busy? Yes, there was a Buddhist ceremony just now. There's a funeral at home. Let's go to chant Buddhist scripture. It's too early. We're blown back.

B: Why?

A: People are not dead yet.

B: Is this nonsense? No, it's not. That's right. Come back.

A: Brass, belly, monk's collar. Sleeve media shoulder in book service

B: this sentence?

The storyteller fanned his mouth.

B: Spicy mouth.

Hot, slap your mouth. Service sleeves are twice as exquisite as those given by former officers, officers, officials, cuffs and small fans.

B: Hey.

How about Zhang Tou and Li Tou? Not bad. Fan quickly, or the fish will stink soon.

B: ok, there are salted hairtail hidden here.

A: Media fans shoulder. The matchmaker walked east and west, fanning his shoulders.

B: Here you are.

A: Yo. . Isn't this for the rich? I heard that your gentleman is modest.

B: It's time to get married.

A girl is really beautiful.

B: Yes.

A: Anywhere will do.

B: That's good.

A: I just don't have a nose.

B: No nose! Do you still need that, that?

A: Be particular. Not a light fan. This thing can be collected

B: Still collecting?

A: There are hundreds of thousands of good fans.

B: Yes.

His father has a good fan.

B: Yes.

A: Well, both the big noodles and the small noodles are ivory.

B: Pure ivory.

Answer: These two sides are called big noodles, big noodles are ivory, and small noodles are ivory.

B: It's inside.

A: and it's not vegetarian.

B: What's that?

A: One side of ivory is engraved with words and pictures.

B: That's the micro-sculpture.

A: Yu Shuo was the biggest tooth carver in the south of the Yangtze River in the late Qing Dynasty and early Ming Dynasty.

B: there is such a person.

Yu Shuo carved it.

B: Yes.

A: Carved paintings. Open them and find Zhang Daqian's handwriting inside.

B: H.

A: A line of big characters.

It says

Teacher, just follow the old lady.

B: What a mess. Is this written by Zhang Daqian? This is written by a rogue monk. this is

A: Throw it away and sell it for 200,000.

Who dares to do such a thing?

A: Who dares to take out half of this fan?

B: Yes, you have to be beaten.

A: No, who wants to take it out just because the teacher still takes it to the streets?

B: Yes.

A: Of course, if you let him, he won't give up this. Don't move the fan when you fan it.

B: What kind of vermicelli method is this? It saves fans and wastes brains.

A: This is playing with a fan. Exquisite advocates ask someone to write a sector for you, or you can draw a sector for you.

B: It's called Mo Bao.

A: If you ask others to paint a really good painter, they will easily refuse.

B: That's right.

A: I didn't say it was advisable to draw a fan. number

B: Here is the money.

Please, I'm tired. Please draw a picture, Mo Bao. Eight and a half months.

B: Yes.

A: Often.

B: Forget it.

A: Only his father does better than others.

B: That's right.

A: Old people's paintings are also good. As we introduced earlier, Huo stanislavski.

B: Come on, it's hard to say.

A: I just like drawing fans. Stop, the one with the fan, don't move. I'll draw one for you. Take the brick if you dare to run.

B: Then why did you hit others?

A: If I don't let the painting, I'll kill you.

B: Boy, I met a rogue.

A: It is easy to draw a fan. When I was young, I could draw a lot. Later, when I was old and my legs and feet were not working, I drew less.

B: What's wrong with this love for legs and feet?

A: When he was young, he could catch up when others ran. Later, his legs failed and people couldn't catch up, so the number dropped.

B: What about asking a painter?

A: Lovely model painting.

B: Bitch.

A: You drew it for me that time, too.

B: You begged him, Mo Bao.

I'm unlucky, too I bought a fan and he met me. He caught it. Let the painting not let the painting die.

B: Well, don't introduce yourself.

Grandpa, what do you draw? Hungry. . . Draw you a beautiful woman, love or not.

Traditional painting.

A: Draw a beautiful woman, and all the beautiful women know that it is the story of Shi, Di Xin and Wang Zhaojun.

B: Draw a maid. Did you draw this?

No, this is new.

B: What's new is

A: Draw movie stars.

B: Who is it?

Do big movie stars like them?

B: Love.

Who are you drawing? Does Zhang Ziyi love it or not?

B: Everyone can draw Zhang Ziyi.

A: I'll draw you a picture of Zhang Ziyi's love.

B: OK.

I like it. How long has it been? 20 days

B: Soon.

A: I went after 20 days. Grandpa, did I get my Zhang Ziyi? He brought it here.

B: It was painted by Zhang Ziyi. Why?

A: Does Yao Ming love it or not?

So, how did you change Yao Ming?

A: Anyway, it's a little big.

B: It's easy to change Yao Ming.

A: It's easy to change. Just make the shoes bigger.

B: That's good. Just like Yao Ming's paintings.

A: How many days will it take? 8 days

Well, it's faster this way.

A: Wait a minute, it's already finished.

An effort to change a shoe.

A: Eight days. I went. Uncle, what about Yao Ming?

B: Bring it here.

A: (Turn on the fan)

Yao Ming painted it.

Do you like landscape painting?

Well, it changed the scenery.

Answer: Draw to the end of 20 12.

B: All right, damn it.

A: I can't get it back. What about this? 3 days

B: Change the scenery.

A: Three days.

B: OK.

A: I went again three days later. Uncle, where is my landscape painting?

Oh, what about the landscape painting?

A: (takes out the fan and looks at it) Do you like black fans?

B: It's all black.

I drew you seaweed.

B: what about painting? that

A: Why not find someone to write gold?

B: Then what do you eat? this is

A: I'm too old to draw well. The writing is ok.

B: Write.

His father writes very well.

B: with this skill.

A: write the nickname Hobrecht.

It's not even next to your house.

A: Huo stanislavski.

Yes, they are all used for performances.

A: Hobrecht, especially when writing big characters, is the most difficult to write.

B: It's difficult to draw fewer strokes.

A: You said it was difficult to write small things like flies' heads and big letters. I met his father. That large sum of money is like a mop.

Such a large sum of money.

A: We don't know whether to grab the pen or drag it.

No, I don't know.

A: Big pier pen.

B: What, this is?

A: Mops.

B: there is no translation for this.

I always write with it at home, just like that thing on the floor.

That's for cleaning the floor.

A: How elegant. Boy, I've seen that old man, and he writes well in big and small letters.

B: Yes.

Sometimes I go home. Grandpa, please sign your name. That brush is used for signing.

B: See you then.

Write my name. (a long list of names)

My father is of Russian descent. Why, the name is so long?

Do you know this is a mistake?

Not so good.

A: It is beautifully printed. Big characters. Oh, the big characters are so big.

B: Oh.

A: I have. I really saw it with my own eyes.

B: One word, so big.

A: The big one is dipped in ink. I hung up after I finished writing. I am the overlord

Write this word.

A: Overlord Xiang Yu is a hero.

B: That's right.

A: I still miss Xiang Yu and dare not cross Jiangdong.

B: It's very imposing.

Who dares to compete with him?

B: That's right.

Only your father. Four words, I am the overlord, and I will hang up after writing, but I have no culture to read it backwards.

B: Why?

Yo, asshole, it's me.