In real life, the nickname "* * Mom" can be seen everywhere on the platform. After ordinary women become mothers, where can they care about themselves?
As a second-child mother, I read a lot of parenting books. But when I saw the words "I am a mother, so am I", my unwillingness and anxiety were still hit.
Author Chen, a researcher on maternal and child salt, is an excellent answer to Zhihu's parenting, and her answer was collected by 65438+ Million+. At the same time, she is a novice mother.
In the first two years of A Novice Mother, the author recorded her unforgettable experiences, interesting stories and some feelings in the process of pregnancy, childbirth and parenting in chronological order. If you think this is the parenting experience of a novice mother's diary, you are wrong.
The author is a mother, but she is always awake. In the first two years of a novice mother, the author wants to express how to adapt to this "mother" status smoothly, how to raise children first, how to love children and love themselves.
First, pay attention to your feelings.
Pregnancy is an unforgettable memory for every woman.
Many reactions during pregnancy vary from person to person, but even expectant mothers who don't respond during pregnancy have to endure their bulging stomachs and increasingly inflexible bodies.
Giving birth to a baby is called "unloading" by expectant mothers, so you can imagine how hard it is for expectant mothers during pregnancy.
Based on my own experience, the author recommended some essential things during pregnancy, such as smart toilet seat and nightlight. These small objects greatly improve the quality of life of expectant mothers and let them relax.
New mothers and novice mothers have a flood of maternal love. I can't wait to give my life to this child.
When a child cries, he hugs, coaxes and feeds himself. Children should eat well, dress well and play well; When it's time to eat complementary food, mother must do it herself; A little bigger, the baby's early education should keep up; Consider buying a school district house ... many mothers will make themselves very tired and even collapse.
In the book, the author specifically talks about "how dad should take part in taking care of the baby" and tells novice mothers that "teammates are not omnipotent, and you can't do anything without teammates". Novice mothers must take good care of their feelings, make more use of their fathers, encourage them more, and don't have to do everything by themselves.
In this way, I can get enough rest and face my children and family with full spirit. Maybe more often, especially during the day, mothers need a person to take care of their children.
Is it okay to take care of the children alone? How to lighten your burden? All right! Diapers are a good thing, a great invention. Free mom from the endless cycle of "changing diapers, washing diapers, drying diapers, and stinking diapers all over the room".
Canned baby complementary food will certainly save novice mothers time, feed a baby efficiently, and it is also very convenient to carry. We should be good at borrowing external forces to help us share our responsibilities, rather than blindly paying, sacrificing and saving. Only when you feel good can you do it well.
Only by taking care of your feelings, making yourself energetic and peaceful, can you take better care of your baby.
It is hard to imagine how we can love our children when we are exhausted, anxious and the cup of love is empty. Therefore, loving yourself is also loving children.
It is important to pay attention to your feelings and make yourself feel good.
Second, we should find ways to relieve anxiety.
In the process of taking care of children, there is always a moment when we can't hold back.
Maybe in the middle of the night 12, facing the baby who doesn't sleep; Maybe it's just a good sheet, and the child pulls up between diapers; Maybe the baby wiped the complementary food all over his face.
What should we do?
In this regard, the elder sister gave advice. Treat the daily chores of bringing a baby. "If the child vomits, wipe it clean. If the child is dirty, take a bath. If there is a problem, solve the problem. It has nothing to do with how many times you have worked repeatedly, who the child knows, who you married, and who gave birth to the child. There is no need to associate and diverge, and then feel that fate is tragic. "
I have to say, it is very enlightening! The author said that we should "peel off our emotions and deal with daily chores."
Yes, hysterical yelling, crying, and even fierce children are useless except scaring children.
After becoming a mother, the battlefield of competition is everywhere. Breastfeeding competition, baby sleep competition, baby talk competition, baby intelligence development competition ... there are always winners and losers. If you win and lose, you will be anxious.
In fact, in the final analysis, we are caught in the curse of a "perfect mother". We think my children eat well, dress well and develop well, otherwise I will be a failed mother.
In fact, "it is more useful to admit that you are an ordinary parent, face your own shortcomings frankly, and grow and progress with your children on the road of parenting than to shout an unreachable slogan."
Yes, we are ordinary people, we are ordinary mothers, as long as the children are healthy and happy.
No one is perfect, let alone our novice mother?
Only by giving up being a "perfect mother" can we not be anxious and have a more relaxed and peaceful parenting.
Third, we must not be divorced from society.
Having children will affect women's social interaction. Therefore, novice mothers should pay special attention not to be out of touch with society. What should we do?
It is a good choice to continue working after maternity leave. How can novice mothers adapt quickly when they return to the workplace?
The author said, first, we should adjust our mentality and face up to our status as working mothers; Second, we must face discrimination and unfairness in the workplace; Third, we should consider whether to re-plan the career path.
Maybe your family situation doesn't allow you to return to the workplace in a short time, so you can't give up self-improvement!
There are two kinds of laws in the world that are worthy of their own lives.
Teacher Chen suggested that we can create a new world in the field of mother and baby. Parenting with nutrition, with picture books and with parenting education. ...
The most important thing is to keep learning and thinking, and not to be divorced from society.
Who said "being a mother is just"? When you become a mother, you can study by yourself without a teacher. You are neither hungry nor thirsty.
In fact, we are still ordinary people, and our bodies are all mortal. We will feel sick and vomit, and we will collapse due to lack of sleep.
Who says it's not "being a mother is hard"? Mom, the name, she filled us with strength and courage.
"The First Two Years of Novice Mom" is on the pillow, so we can handle it more calmly and face it bravely. Love yourself, be yourself, and love your children better.