From the psychological point of view, teach you how to correctly interpret each other's psychology and uncover the secrets of pleasing and convincing speaking skills.
1. specialization: "I only tell you?" When some people transmit information, they are like butterflies flying among flowers, telling people everywhere; In this way, even valuable information will be considered frivolous. The key to maintaining good interpersonal relationship is not to reveal the conversation.
Therefore, even the same thing, if it can be conveyed in a way of "just telling you", will win the favor of the other party. This is called specialization in psychology.
It seems fair to treat everyone equally, but it is not popular. This is the same as falling in love; Anyone always hopes that the other person is not so gentle to everyone, but only good to himself.
Through the specific expression of "only telling you", you can convey the information you say, because it is "you", which can enhance the intimacy between two people and improve each other's goodwill.
2. Dancing synchronously: "You're right! Doing the same thing with each other is psychologically called synchronization. This is a subconscious behavior to show that you and the other person are in the same position.
If we can cooperate with each other and do the same thing during the conversation, we will improve our goodwill. For example, if the other person puts his elbow on the table, he will put it on the table with him, and the other person will raise his cup and drink coffee with him. Moreover, experiments show that no one will realize being imitated.
This technique can also be applied to the way of speaking, that is, "repeating the other person's words", "echoing the voice" and "nodding". These behaviors play a very important role in the dialogue.
Because it means: I'm listening. Oh, I agree with you, sending such a message. Therefore, if you can dance with each other skillfully, you can improve their intimacy.
3. convince yourself: "what do you think?" Ask questions to arouse the other person's self-thinking, and then produce psychological behavior of self-persuasion. For example, the boss directly instructs his subordinates that "this and this are your work topics this year" will not enhance their will.
If you say from another angle, "What do you think is the theme of your work this year? Ask questions to make the other person think, and let the other person say "what to do".
Because it is not the boss's persuasion, but his own decision, the will will be higher. Giving the decision to the other party can enhance the other party's sense of responsibility.
Generally speaking, even if you know that you accept persuasion and agree to compromise, there will always be a knot in your heart. If you use the skills of self-persuasion, you can make the other party agree willingly; Because the other party doesn't feel convinced, but thinks that he has figured it out and made his own judgment. Because he made the decision himself, he won't have a knot in his heart.
But it doesn't work for subordinates who just want to be lazy or opponents with low willingness to cooperate!
4. phased persuasion: "just listen" first puts forward a simple request that no one can refuse, and then puts forward a real request after the other party agrees.
This is because people often carry out their own behaviors or beliefs, so once they agree to a simple request, the subconscious will think that they will accept it, so if they refuse a similar request, their behaviors will be contradictory.
Therefore, even if the next request is a bit reluctant, it will be difficult to refuse. In fact, this technology has been widely used. For example, the slogan "Please help me fill out a simple questionnaire about English textbooks" is actually to promote expensive textbooks or courses.
5. hide: "can you lend me 30 thousand?" The method of use is to deliberately make unreasonable demands first, and then talk about the real demands after the other party refuses. This technique is also called concession footwork; After the first request is rejected, take a step back and make a second request. In this way, the respondent will feel psychologically indebted because of the previous refusal, so it is easier to agree.
In addition, the superiority of the other party's concession will make the respondent agree more readily.
The experiment shows that less than 20% students agree to participate in the "two-hour social work activity" on campus, but if they first ask to participate in the "two-year, twice-weekly social work activity" and then ask to participate in the "two-hour social work activity" after the other party refuses, about 50% students agree.
If two proposals can be prepared at the same time, the first one is a smoke screen and the second one is a real proposal, which will help improve the chances of passing.
6. Seduction method: "Lend me 500 yuan instead" If a friend says to you, "Can you lend me 100 yuan? I'll pay you back today. "After you promised, you changed your mind and said," Sorry, I remember making an appointment with my girlfriend after work, so lend me 500. " If you happen to have enough money with you, I believe it should be difficult to refuse? In fact, this is based on the principle that pitchers lure opponents with low balls in baseball games.
That is, after the other party agrees, change the requirements. Because once the other party agrees, it will have the psychology of swearing and feel obligated to the other party, so even if the conditions change, it is difficult to refuse.
Experiments show that only 3 1% of college students have accepted the "psychological test held at 5 am".
However, if the other party is asked to do a "psychological test" first and then do "the time is 5 am" after the other party agrees, a total of 56% of the respondents agree. However, it should be noted that this technique basically contains the elements of lying, so it will be ok once. If you use it for the same person two or three times, you will lose the trust of the other person.
7. Finale method: "Next is the key point" There are two ways to improve persuasiveness. One is the finale method, that is, put the emphasis you want to express at the end, heat up the topic slowly first, and then enter * * * to impress the other party.
This technique is especially effective when the other person has a strong interest in this topic. Don't respond to each other's expectations easily, wait until the atmosphere is fully warmed up, and then cut into the most important topic. This is the psychology that people always save their favorite food for last.
On the contrary, if the other party seems to be lacking in interest from the beginning, it is more effective to adopt the "reverse order finale method". In other words, get to the point first; Arouse each other's interest at the beginning, and then finish it in one breath.
Because if you don't get to the point directly, the other party is likely to say, "I'm busy now, and I'll talk about it later." The basis of speaking skills is actually to change the way or order of speaking in line with the other party's position. Unilateral communication is not communication, nor can it achieve its purpose.