Name: Pay the bill
Type: sketch
Guests: Zhao Haiyan, Xiao Shenyang, Song Xiaobao.
Broadcast channel/time: Liaoning Satellite TV/65438+1October 29th 19:30.
Source: Liaoning Satellite TV 20 14 Spring Festival Evening
Script line:
Song Xiaobao: Hey, son, look, at noon, dad just ate something in the village, so he won't go home for dinner. You don't have to pay for me. What are you going to buy me? Dad just bought a chicken with 3000 yuan, and 3000 yuan just came in. Dad pays for it himself. Ha, ha, ha. I'll have a bite alone in the village. Ha ha ha, Scottish flirting, part two, hey, why?
Shenyang: Welcome.
Song Xiaobao: You scared me. You child, why are you so surprised?
Shenyang: I'm sorry, sir. This is the slogan of our hotel. I scared you.
Song Xiaobao: Oh, my God. Hey, are you a punk on the Avenue of Stars?
Shenyang: It's me.
Song Xiaobao: Oh, my God, my grandson likes you so much that I can imitate you if I have nothing to do. Why? Why?
My grandson is always proud of you, so why don't you take a picture with me and I'll go back and show it to my grandson?
Shenyang: OK, Grandpa.
Song Xiaobao: Thank you for taking my picture, hahaha.
Shenyang: Uncle, you'd better look for it.
Song Xiaobao: I don't have my camera. Ha ha ha ha. Oh, my God, I'm just teasing you.
Shenyang: Don't you feel sad?
Song Xiaobao: Scottish flirting. I heard that Scottish noodles are delicious. That gravy costs nothing. Give me two bowls.
Small Shenyang: Uncle's brine is old and salty. Do you dare to drink this color?
Song Xiaobao: Ah, it's up to me.
Shenyang: I'm afraid your throat hurts.
Song Xiaobao: Noodles, please.
Small Shenyang: Bowl of noodles.
Song Xiaobao: Just eat it here.
Small Shenyang: Just put it here to eat.
Song Xiaobao: Yes.
Small Shenyang: That uncle can't eat it. I beg you. Don't make any noise. Take chestnuts from the fire. Is there a leader to eat? The new township head invited us to have dinner here.
Song Xiaobao: The new township head is eating.
Shenyang: Well, what are you doing?
Song Xiaobao: I'll have a look.
Shenyang: You scared the township head.
Song Xiaobao: Nothing. Why did the original one go down?
Shenyang: I'm going down.
Song Xiaobao: So the new building will be built here.
Shenyang: I can tell you that you don't know what I'm talking about. Just our former township head, you know, don't you? You always come to my house for dinner. I'm telling you, the main thing is that you don't give money after dinner. Oh, my mother, I have so many lists. I don't know who to call. The best seafood in my restaurant now is kelp.
Song Xiaobao: Hey, don't be angry. I'll buy you the mayor's bill
Shenyang: You can forget it. What can I buy? That's a lot of money.
Song Xiaobao: Do you despise me? Grandpa looks down on me in this suit. I tell you, I am a big chicken farmer in our village. I have raised more than 17,000 chickens to support the GDP of our village.
Shenyang: Really?
Song Xiaobao: Oh, stop asking so many questions and pay the bill quickly.
Shenyang: Grandpa, what are you buying?
Song Xiaobao: Let me give you some.
Shenyang: Click me.
Song Xiaobao: Why pay the bill? Because my son Qin works in the village.
Shenyang: Oh, pave the way for your son.
Song Xiaobao: Buy a good one.
Small Shenyang: Buy the good ones and buy the right ones.
Song Xiaobao: Hey, I don't have any cash. Can I swipe my card?
Small Shenyang: You can have everything.
Song Xiaobao: Do you have a POS machine?
Shenyang: Yes.
Song Xiaobao: swipe your card.
Little Shenyang: Good grandpa, if you want to listen to your children, don't keep chickens, just keep monkeys.
Song Xiaobao: The key to keeping monkeys is not to sell money. I used to have two. I squatted in the market with one hand. Others buy me. I can't sell monkeys if I don't buy them. I still raise chickens to make money.
Shenyang: Grandpa, look at the list.
Song Xiaobao: You don't have to look at the list, so you can count the money.
Shenyang: OK, I'll brush it.
Song Xiaobao: Hurry up.
Shenyang: I'll sign it for you as soon as I finish.
Song Xiaobao: If you don't sign it, don't touch it. It's no use.
Shenyang: Oh, Grandpa, sorry to come.
Song Xiaobao: Why?
Shenyang: There is still 200 yuan left in the beer.
Song Xiaobao: If you hurry, I'll be in a hurry.
Shenyang: Oh, the balance is insufficient.
Song Xiaobao: No way. Selling chickens just saved 3 thousand yuan.
Shenyang: Yes, I just brushed 2900.
Song Xiaobao: Just 2900 pounds.
Shenyang: Yes.
Song Xiaobao: No. Is there that much?
Small Shenyang: How many people come and go? Are there so many more?
Song Xiaobao: I thought it was 3500 yuan, but it's actually 2900 yuan.
Small Shenyang: two thousand nine hundred
Song Xiaobao: Then why didn't you tell me earlier?
Shenyang: I told you, but I didn't listen. I didn't even look.
Song Xiaobao: So you won't let me see it?
Shenyang: I'm telling you, Grandpa, I can't tell you these things unless you pay the bill, okay?
Song Xiaobao: Anything else?
Shenyang: What else is so strange? Sit here and tell you. The former township head was reported for eating and drinking. Now, how clear are the eight regulations? How dare you pave the way for your son? Do you dare to take care of the whole thing? Will your son always go with him?
Song Xiaobao: That's not over yet? Even if you leave me a p, I can do it. No, it's not. It is not easy to cause great things. What is a small loss? Didn't you hear uncle tell you that he is a little disillusioned now? I regret it now. Come on, give me my money back.
Small Shenyang: refund money
Song Xiaobao: No.
Shenyang: That's impossible.
Song Xiaobao: Grandpa regretted it.
Shenyang: I don't regret it. My hotel is going to close down. I finally came in. Can I give you a refund?
Song Xiaobao: So if you don't return it, you can't return it. Grandpa will make mistakes.
Shenyang: You made a mistake. I didn't force you to pay the bill. Who did you blame voluntarily, right?
Song Xiaobao: Oh, my God, why are you so childish?
Shenyang: What about me?
Song Xiaobao: You won't.
Shenyang: Yes.
Haiyan: Waiter.
Small Shenyang: The township head has finished eating.
Haiyan: Show me the list after eating. I want to buy it.
Shenyang:1* * 3100. Will you pay by credit card, cash or signature?
Song Xiaobao: Cash, cash.
Haiyan: Oh, I was just about to swipe my card.
Song Xiaobao: swipe your card. The POS machine is broken.
Haiyan: It doesn't matter, it doesn't matter, it doesn't matter, it doesn't matter, I have cash here, and I can almost do it.
Small Shenyang: Well, township head, you, you, your cash.
Haiyan: Ah, yes.
Shenyang: Oh, my God.
Haiyan: Check if it is enough.
Shenyang: Really.
Haiyan: Ah.
Small Shenyang: Don't you sign the bill?
Haiyan: No signing.
Small Shenyang: Why did the township head give money? It's impossible. Then sign the bill.
Song Xiaobao: Where is the money? You put it here.
Shenyang: Why?
Song Xiaobao: Do I regret not buying that order just now? It happened that the township head settled in cash. Why don't you give me my cash back and we'll be even?
Small Shenyang: This money was bought by the township head himself, and yours was bought for the previous township head.
Song Xiaobao: When did I say that I paid the last township head?
Shenyang: Didn't you say you would bear it for me?
Song Xiaobao: I am responsible for you. What should I do with this township head and the previous township head?
Shenyang: I know which township head you bought it for.
Song Xiaobao: What are you doing? What are you doing, son? What are you doing, son?
Shenyang: What's wrong with me?
Song Xiaobao: What are you doing, son?
Shenyang: Grandpa, how many times did you say you piled me up when you entered the house? You said you
Song Xiaobao: I command you.
Shenyang: Don't talk nonsense with me. Let me tell you something.
Song Xiaobao: What are you doing? Lock your throat and don't pinch your neck.
Shenyang: You piled me up at once.
Song Xiaobao: Shameless, shameless.
Shenyang: Why do you smoke?
Song Xiaobao: You let me go.
Shenyang: I'll let you go, but don't move.
Song Xiaobao: I can't be quiet. The tortoise let me go.
Shenyang: You old man, you are so unreasonable.
Song Xiaobao: If someone is unreasonable, I will find a reasonable one.
Shenyang: You find a reasonable one.
Song Xiaobao: I'll ask the township head to reason with me. Go to the township head, township head, come on. Your villagers were bullied.
Haiyan: Oh, uncle, uncle, uncle, get up quickly.
Song Xiaobao: Come on.
Haiyan: Uncle, get up quickly. What's the matter with you? Get up and talk.
Song Xiaobao: Help me make a decision.
Haiyan: Hey, don't worry, I'll help you make a decision. Get up, uncle.
Song Xiaobao: Oh dear, oh dear.
Haiyan: Uncle, what's the matter with you?
Song Xiaobao: What's going on? Get up.
Shenyang: I won't.
Song Xiaobao: What's going on? You just ate that order. I bought it. After I bought it, did you go out and buy it at once? We bought it again.
Haiyan: Don't worry, Grandpa. How can I listen to my dinner bill? You bought it for me.
Song Xiaobao: Yes.
Haiyan: I don't think we know each other. How do you pay me?
Song Xiaobao: Oh, I'll tell you the truth. What happened? Do you think my son's name is Qin? He works in the village head. Just right. I heard that a new mayor just had dinner here today. I think I should buy you a bill and a good one. My son can do better in the future. Later, I learned that this is not human nature. This is not a big mistake. I shouldn't have come.
Haiyan: no, no, no.
Song Xiaobao: I regretted it when you hid. I asked the child to return the money. The child didn't give it back to me. At this time, you came out to pay the bill. It happens to be cash, right? I think I should bring you some cash. We are even.
Haiyan: Hmm.
Song Xiaobao: The child said that your bill was for yourself, and mine was for the last township head. What should the last township head do?
Shenyang: He should pay me.
Song Xiaobao: Here is your money. You don't care what money I want.
Shenyang: Did you make it clear?
Haiyan: Uncle, uncle, uncle, ok, uncle, don't worry, don't worry, uncle, don't worry.
Shenyang: Who else do you want to cheat?
Haiyan: Is Grandpa all right?
Song Xiaobao: I'm just angry.
Haiyan: It's all right. Don't worry, Grandpa.
Song Xiaobao: All right, all right.
Haiyan: I understand. Sit down and have a rest.
Song Xiaobao: Ah.
Haiyan: Young man, the last township head owed you money. It was his fault. We'll give you a satisfactory explanation after investigation, but you have to return the bill to him today.
Shenyang: What's the matter, township head? Why do you want to be a township head and be easy to talk to? I tell you, township head, I am an ordinary citizen. This restaurant is going to lose money. Where can I get money? On your second day in office, you brought a group of people to dinner. You will soon. I will tell you soon.
Song Xiaobao: If I hit you in the mouth, would you talk?
Shenyang: I am a Weibo, and you are enough. Let me tell you something.
Song Xiaobao: The child's face is getting bigger and bigger.
Haiyan: Never mind, young man. You think I eat and drink?
Shenyang: Are there any snacks and drinks?
Haiyan: Do you know who I invited? These people I invited today are all lonely old people in our hometown nursing home for the New Year. I bought each of them a new suit and invited them to have dinner and chat. Although he is an ordinary person, he is the one who needs care most. Don't worry, every penny I spend is in my pocket. My salary is absolutely clear.
Shenyang: Sorry, Township Head. I was a little aggressive.
Haiyan: Nothing, nothing.
Shenyang: Forgive me.
Haiyan: Nothing can be understood. I have something to say to you. You think you paid the bill for your son, but it may not work.
Song Xiaobao: I learned a profound lesson.
Haiyan: It's all right, uncle boy. Give him his money back.
Shenyang: OK.
Song Xiaobao: Township Head.
Haiyan: I'll talk to grandpa for a while.
Song Xiaobao: Take your time.
Haiyan: Nothing, nothing.
Song Xiaobao: We have caused you trouble.
Haiyan: Nothing.
Song Xiaobao: We're not worried anymore. I've worried you.
Small Shenyang: This township head is really a good-looking township head. I didn't expect the leader to be so accurate. That's the real leader
Song Xiaobao: Hey, what's this?
Shenyang: Nothing.
Song Xiaobao: What's this?
Shenyang: I'll give it to you. Can I not give it to you?
Song Xiaobao: Ah, money. I'll forget if you don't mention it.
Shenyang: You have.
Song Xiaobao: OK, thank you. Why don't we show it together?
Shenyang: What do you mean?
Song Xiaobao: You sing one and I'll dance one.