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No matter when we were young or when we grew up, we fell in love and got married. No matter at school or in society, few people told us how to be parents. Even if someone says it, it's just an elder. They may say "hit the dutiful son with a stick" and "you can't make a talent without hitting" ... Are these concepts circulating in life right?

First, family education is the most prone to mistakes.

First, most of our parents have no special training. No matter when we were young or when we grew up, we fell in love and got married. No matter at school or in society, few people told us how to be parents. Even if someone says it, it's just an elder. They may say "hit the dutiful son with a stick" and "you can't make a talent without hitting" ... Are these concepts circulating in life right? This requires us to reflect.

A driver needs to study in a driving school for three months to get a driver's license, but can he learn to be a parent for three months? Parents' different languages, behaviors and education will leave different marks on their children, and parents without special training will inevitably make mistakes.

Secondly, parents' psychology of expecting their children to succeed and their daughters to succeed easily leads to deviation in family education. There is a natural emotional connection between parents and children, especially the integration of mother and child, which will naturally produce expectations. Inevitably, it is unrealistic to turn to children to accomplish what they have not achieved and failed to achieve. A book "Harvard girl? Q Liu Yiting sold millions of copies, which is the psychological reaction of parents. Parents' excessive care and care deprived children of room to grow up. A survey by the reporter of Yangzi Evening News found that nowadays college students don't know how to arrange their own lives. In fact, many of them want nothing when they grow up. How can they grow up? Too many restrictions and interference to the other extreme will also hinder the release of children's potential. We often treat our children condescendingly, pretending to be "parents": "You were born to me, and I asked you to listen, but you didn't listen, so find a beating!" Without the fundamental spirit of "equality of personality" stipulated in the United Nations Children's Charter, how can family education make children grow up healthily?

Third, many parents neglect their educational responsibilities. Because the focus of social attention is school education, parents pay more attention to school education, ignoring that they are the real educational foundation and the key to determining the fate of their children. As the saying goes: look at the old at three. The education received in childhood affects a person's life. Children's initial understanding of the world originated from their parents, and the influence of family education is unforgettable. Parents' usual concept of parents is actually a derogatory term in English, meaning "paternalism" and undemocratic. And if a child wants to accomplish something, he must have real understanding and acceptance in order to do it well. Ignorance of educational responsibility and bias of educational ideas naturally lead to mistakes in family education.

Second, without the growth of parents, there will be no growth of children.

It is said that parents are role models for children. Usually, behind the excellent children grow into outstanding talents, there is always a shadow of a warm and harmonious family; Similarly, when a person forms an imperfect personality, factors full of conflicts and contradictions can also be found in the family.

When parents send their children to primary and secondary schools, they always like to say, "Teacher, this child is yours, please!" The subtext is "nothing to do with me". In fact, this is definitely not the case. The hand that pushes the earth is the hand that pushes the cradle. A good family is often accompanied by the growth of parents and children; Bad families often have a negative impact on children. There is such a true story to prove it. A junior two student from X School in Zhangjiagang reviewed for the exam at home on Sunday night. His parents invited some friends to play mahjong at home, and the noise disturbed the children. The child said helplessly, "It's past 0 o'clock, and I still have to play. How can I take the exam tomorrow? " Ma You was in high spirits and ignored the children's words. When the child gets angry, he turns on the TV and turns it up, which makes the neighbors protest. His parents felt humiliated and beat him up. The children leave for the night ... My friends often ask me how much time I spend with my children every week. I said that I didn't communicate much with my children because of my busy work, but as long as my children saw me, I must be reading and writing, and I don't need to talk. Teaching by example is far greater than teaching by words. How much time parents have to study at home and how many books they have at home are all different. In 2004, China Press Association made a survey: 45% of families in China have no books or bookshelves; In South Korea, 96.8% of families have more than 500 books on average. Without scholarly family, how can there be scholarly campuses and books to look at society? If parents don't make progress, how can they expect their children to become Jackie Chan and Phoenix?

In a learning family, parents and children grow up together and even influence each other. They often have some successful influence ways, such as parent-child reading, parent-child communication, telling growth stories and so on. The growth of parents, like the growth of children, is an endless process. The influence of parents' continuous progress and study is intangible and profound.

Third, morality is more important than learning, and realm is greater than method.

1. The most important task of family education is to build the Great Wall of Personality. The person you meet in life is often a handsome man who covers up all ugliness. Be a good boy if you get high marks and good grades. In fact, among the factors that affect lifelong development, scores are not the most important. It is morality, personality, happiness, popularity and respect, not knowledge. Little by little, it will lay a solid foundation for the sound development of personality. We have noticed that many parents care too much about their studies. As long as you get good grades, you promise everything, fulfill all your wishes and fulfill all your promises. Some children lie, take things from home or others, and are self-centered without considering other people's feelings. Such educational ideas and methods are worrying.

My child also took things from home when he was a child, but we let him know that the punishment for making this mistake is far better than not learning knowledge well in the exam, and let him know that his parents don't pay much attention to grades, but pay great attention to morality, which makes him a modest person. It is also important to develop behavior habits. When my children were young, they forgot everything all day. The ruler he bought today will be lost tomorrow. When he rode to school in the third grade, he often lost his keys and often asked us to send them. No way! Later, we decided that if we lost the key again, we would run back to get the spare key. In the fourth grade, he carried the car home by himself. How much time and energy it takes! But in exchange for the key, I will never lose it again. Therefore, parents should pay full attention to the cultivation of moral habits.

2, life silently destroys people, just like dripping water wears away stones; Similarly, life makes people silent. Only by paying attention to the details and progress of life and becoming the master of life can we be achieved by life. There is a slogan in the new educational experiment: "The state is greater than the method, and the method is greater than the effort." The reality is just the opposite, that is, "effort is greater than method, and method is greater than state." In fact, the biggest gap between people is the state. With the state, there is a method. If you are in a state and you want to do something, you may succeed.

Not long ago, a graduate student of Fudan University committed suicide by jumping off a building. He is the champion of liberal arts college entrance examination in a province. It should be said that his academic performance is outstanding, but so what? His parents raised him for nothing, so he might as well go to college and stay with his children, making no contribution to society. A scholar said that the gap between philosophers and ordinary workers is much smaller than that between wild dogs and domestic dogs. The gap between philosophers and workers is caused by the division of labor. The gap between people of the same type of work in a unit is caused by the state. Some people are very clever, but if he does nothing but complain, he will accomplish nothing. Therefore, the most important thing is the realm, not the mental method. Anything that helps to cultivate mental state should be done; Anyone who is helpless should do less or not.

Fourth, return childhood to children.

People often think that children nowadays have no childhood and no happiness. As long as you enter school, you will have no good life. Before entering kindergarten, parents had many dreams to let their children play the piano, draw pictures, sing and dance ... As soon as they entered the school and entered the examination circle, many parents quit the previous games. Of course, learning is not to give children happiness, but to place a lot of illusions. Gradually, the reality shattered their dreams, and by junior high school, those beautiful fantasy hobbies were cut off. The rest is "bitter". As the children say, "I got up the earliest, went to bed the latest, suffered the most, and was the most tired. I, I am still me." Yes, it is children who rush to the road before dawn every morning, and it is children (and maybe mahjong players) who turn off the lights at the latest every night. Today's children are really more bitter than farmers! They didn't enjoy the happiness they deserved!

Happiness is an experience, and enjoying the happiness of education is a realm of education. Ask the child if he is happy. The answer is no, but the first article of Confucius' Analects of Confucius says: learning from time to time is fun! Learning should be interesting. Why can't children learn in games, activities and play? Why is learning locked in the study? Our parents should pay attention to their children's psychological happiness index! Don't let Jin Fan appear again!

5. Infinitely believe in the potential of children's development

1, appreciation leads to success, complaining leads to failure. Let's start with boys and girls. The toys we give girls are dolls and the like, while the toys for boys are often of various models and can be moved. It contains the meaning that we want girls to be gentle and quiet and boys to be brave and lively. The result of girls fighting will be a training: what if I am so crazy now? The result of boys fighting is appreciation: naughty children are smart. When children grow up, people say: girls can't go to middle school, but boys can. You know, a lie becomes truth after being repeated a thousand times. Girls are hinted at "no" and boys are hinted at "yes", which makes them have different States, so as the author wrote in "Enjoy Happiness": "Say you can, you can, you can't; Say you can't, you can't, you can't. If you want your child to do it, you must cherish every opportunity for the child to grow up, appreciate the child's growth and appreciate the child's words and deeds; If you can't have children, complain and blame them

2. The potential of children is always greater than everything that has been achieved. Modern scientific research has long proved that human potential is enormous. Didn't Zhou Zhou, a disabled person, become a great conductor? Zhou Ting, a deaf-mute girl, grew up to be the high flyers of a famous American university, which is a masterpiece of her father Hong Chau's appreciation education. Let us believe in the potential of children's development infinitely!

Sixth, let children have their own things.

Parents must not neglect the cultivation of non-intelligence when cultivating their children's intelligence. They want the younger generation to have lofty goals, broad interests, warm feelings, strong will and independent personality.

The happiest thing for a person is to let himself like one thing, even if it is to grow flowers and raise small animals, so that his spare time and energy can be entrusted. Every child should have a hobby at home and at school. What is the best? Features. Now the score is the best, and everyone else is a loser. In fact, it is too difficult for children to learn, and some knowledge will not be used for a lifetime. What is the value? Education should give children what they like, so that they can live a healthy and happy life even if they can't get into college or famous brands. Different children have different values. What is the value of graduate students who commit suicide in Fudan? Many excellent talents have never received a formal university education. But in the process of growing up, the kindness and diligence they learned far exceeded the harvest of the university. Every child can have a different growth path, so that he likes the same things, which will affect the quality of life of children. Whether a person's spiritual life is happy or not is very important.

Seven, let reading become a child's lifestyle.

Reading is a very important way for children to purify their souls and sublimate their personality. For children's growth, the main task is reading. But nowadays students seldom read books except textbooks. Generally speaking, children who read a lot will have an open mind, full spirit, lofty aspirations and persistent pursuit. A person's spiritual development history is the person's reading history.

Reading is the most important for people's growth. Those energetic nations in the world, such as Jews, must love reading. The three greatest figures in modern history all came from the Jewish nation: Marx changed people's view of society with materialist dialectics, Einstein established a brand-new view of the universe with relativity, and Freud used psychoanalysis to make people know themselves more accurately. 40% of the rich people in the world are Jews. The largest number of Nobel Prize winners are also Jews. Their reading attitude borders on religion. When a child is born, he paints a book with honey and lets the child lick it, which means that reading can be sweet. They are never allowed to step on books. Each of them reads 60 books a year, while the average level in China is only 5. A person who doesn't study can't go far. Whether he studies or not has nothing to do with whether he graduated from college. Books are real universities and paradise for spiritual growth.

Quiet can go further. A person who studies may not be rich in life, but he may be rich in spirit.

Eight, let the diary grow with the children.

Keeping a diary is a good habit. By keeping a diary, children can summarize and deepen their thinking about their study and life; Can exercise their ability to observe life and master language, and improve their writing level; Can let children talk about their feelings and adjust their emotions; Can cultivate his independent personality and the ability to handle things independently; It can exercise his will, broaden his mind and purify his mind. Not only children, teachers and parents can write, and there are many successful examples in this respect. Some even completely changed the state of a child, a parent and a school. Because if you want to write brilliantly, you must live brilliantly and do brilliantly.

It is a common fact that parents especially expect their children to be geniuses because they feel that they are not geniuses. A proposition must be right. As long as parents and children grow up together, although we are not geniuses, we can also become gifted parents.