How to help children establish a positive and healthy peer relationship is very important for their future.
Peer relationship is a part of adult social support system, and it is the beginning of children's development from family to outside attention. Children need to learn to get along with others in a wider group, understand the relationship between individuals and groups, grow up healthily in the group, get support and enjoy happiness. Peer relationship is so important that kindergarten is the golden starting point, so parents need more encouragement and help.
Peer communication is an important backing of preschool children's positive emotions. A person who is accepted and welcomed by friends will have more confidence when encountering difficulties. As the saying goes, a hero has three gangs, and those who have helpers are at least not lonely or desperate. Peer relationship gives children equal support and encouragement. Different from parents' support and encouragement, parents' support and encouragement are unconditional and unique. Peer support and encouragement are conditional, mutual and mobile, but this is normal and must be faced. Peer relationship can also provide beneficial help for children's self-awareness development. Children's attitudes and methods to constantly adjust the relationship between "I" and "others". Only a healthy and self-conscious person can straighten out his relationship with others, neither rejecting communication and narcissism, nor drifting with the flow without principle.
Peer communication is very important for preschool children, and it will also accompany their primary and secondary school life. Because the physical and mental development between peers is similar, it is easy to have a common language. In addition, children spend most of their time studying and living together, and the relationship with others will directly affect their mood and judgment of things. Friends can share secrets and happiness and unhappiness. Girls communicate through chatting, while boys communicate through activities or games.
Observation, study and active exploration in peer interaction are helpful to promote the development of their cognitive ability. Children use familiar language and mentality to exchange views, communicate with each other and chase each other, such as who runs faster, who paints more like it, who has the most books, who loves to help others and so on. This positive mutual learning and assistance in exploration have deepened their feelings and made them feel more secure in the outside world.
Most urban families are only children. Children are taken care of by family members or nannies before they are three years old, and usually most of the requirements can be met. In dealing with adults, children don't have to care about other people's feelings. Meeting their own needs is their only purpose, whether physical or psychological. Before the age of three, children attach the most importance to the relationship with their parents. They confirm their love and care from their parents' hugs and gentle words, gain a sense of security, learn basic communication, and learn to walk and talk. They don't care much about people outside their families, or they are just curious about people outside their families, not out of the need for communication.
Therefore, the first problem that the only child will face after he is three years old is how to get along with his own children. In the collective life of kindergarten, it is no longer the only object of concern, and personal needs cannot be met immediately. This psychological transition period is very important for children, and equality, communication, sharing and cooperation all start from here.
After children adapt to the group life in kindergarten, there will be children they like and dislike, activities they are interested in or uninterested in, and teachers who are willing or unwilling to get along. These things are nothing to adults at all, but important to children. They may even decide whether to continue to go to kindergarten or continue to play with their children. Their behavior can't be completely decided by themselves, but if they cry out every day in the big class, will their parents be uncomfortable?
Help children adapt to school life as soon as possible, starting with making friends and getting along well with peers.
I didn't have this problem when I was a child. Children in rural areas are all free-range, and children aged four or five are playing crazy with their neighbors' children at home. Before primary school, I had a group of friends who often played together, sticking butterflies with cobwebs, drawing dragonflies with thorns, or turning stones to catch crickets. The children are very lively, have no communication barriers, and are not only children. They have brothers and sisters and cannot eat at home alone. When I was in primary school, I was in the same class as my usual familiar friends, and even playing truant was in droves.
My daughter Ningning is not what she was when she was born. For a time, she didn't like going to kindergarten. In addition, children in small classes are more emotional. One cries with the other, and the other wants his mother. No one knows how to be modest and will not discuss it well. Those who get toys only play by themselves, and those who don't get toys either cry or grab them. They have different personalities. Although teachers try to be considerate, after all, there are many children and few teachers. After the child comes home, he says all day that he doesn't want to go again, and even goes out with tears in his eyes. I can't bear it. But after a period of running-in, the teacher used some interesting activities to distract the children's homesickness, and the children gradually understood that they could go home at night, so they cried less and could play with their companions.
Every day when I come home from school, I will ask about the situation first. "What game did you play today? Is it fun? " "Who did you play with today? Do you like him? " "Which child do you like best to play with? Why? " "Do you want to bring a book to read with your friends?" Ningning sometimes says, "I dropped my blanket today and the children picked it up for me." I said, "Wow, the children are so friendly, so do you thank them?" She sometimes says, "My child stepped on my foot today." I said, "Really? Does it still hurt? Are you angry? He shouldn't have done it on purpose. Everyone is careless sometimes, isn't it? "
These conversations show the mother's concern and understanding, and also help the baby to clear his mind and let her know how to interact with the child. Pay more attention to children's life in kindergarten, help him explore all kinds of fun in kindergarten, emphasize the entertainment and playfulness of kindergarten, straighten out children's thinking, resolve conflicts between children, let him know that kindergarten is actually a fun place, and playing games with children in kindergarten is a happy thing, so that children will be interested in kindergarten.
Every summer, I make an appointment with my friends to take my children to the seaside for a few days. At the seaside, the children had a good time. They fished crabs, dug bunkers, ate seafood and played football together. They are similar in age and height. They can quickly understand each other's words, and there is a tacit understanding between children. And on the one hand, they hope to perform better than each other and get praise from their parents, on the other hand, they understand each other and share toys and snacks. This is to make friends. It is a great progress to develop from unilateral egoism to mutual benefit.
Free-range experience: help children choose good friends, stay away from bad friends, accept friends and respect friends. Children's activities are getting wider and wider, especially after primary school, friends will become more important, and even the intimacy with parents will be weakened to some extent. This is naturally inevitable. Help actively when you are disappointed, because the future is theirs after all.
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