1, change it if you can. When dealing with the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, many people tend to go to two extremes. One is to let nature take its course and do whatever the old people like. Second, everyone is in charge, and the old man's words and deeds are not satisfactory. From a methodological point of view, this is definitely inappropriate. Due to the temporary combination, it is normal for mother-in-law and daughter-in-law to lack communication foundation. For the in-laws who live together, the daughter-in-law can't interfere in everything, nor can she let it go. Especially for some principled issues, such as doting on children, we should bravely adhere to principles and strive to change the concept of the elderly. After all, the times are different, and the elderly should keep pace with the times. Don't just care about the old man's face, let it go, and in the end it will hurt the children. And it will also lead to the intensification of contradictions, so that it will be out of control in the future. However, change must also pay attention to methods, that is, the attitude should be firm and the methods should be euphemistic, and the relationship should not be frozen because of one thing. Remember: the elderly are not students, but they don't like the younger generation to teach themselves. It is very important to follow the trend. If you can't change it, you can adapt to the old saying. There are two things in the world that are the most difficult. One is to put the money in other people's pockets into your own pockets, and the other is to put the thoughts in your own head into other people's heads. Therefore, it is not easy to change a person, especially an elderly person whose world outlook, outlook on life and values have been stubbornly formed. To this end, for some unprincipled issues, such as the ways and means of taking care of children's lives, if it is not easy to change or can't be changed, then as the daughter-in-law of the younger generation, we must learn to adapt. In fact, as long as you pass the ideological barrier, sometimes you will suddenly find that just do what your in-laws say, and there is nothing wrong with it. No one is a saint, and in-laws must have more life experience than young people. Believe in yourself and your in-laws. Practice has eloquently proved that only trust can live in harmony. Remember: don't think you are always right. As long as you have this idea, it is actually a wrong start. In life, adaptation is the greatest wisdom and ability. 3. Be tolerant if you can't adapt. Adaptation is not an easy task, which has a lot to do with everyone's adaptability. Some people are good at adjusting their mentality and have strong adaptability to external stimuli. And some people are relatively closed, pursuing to be an independent and complete person, and it is difficult to integrate with the outside world. The so-called Tao is different, no common goal. In this situation where happiness is impossible at all, we can only adopt a tolerant strategy. Don't stop your in-laws if you don't want to do it yourself. If you are afraid that your in-laws' behavior will affect your mood, you can take a laissez-faire attitude and hide in one place to enjoy leisure. This can't solve the contradiction, but it can reduce the possibility of emotional interaction leading to the escalation of the contradiction. That is what people say, "hide" if you can't afford it! Remember: to learn to grasp the main contradiction, family harmony is the most fundamental in life. Compared with this, nothing else is important. Never create conflicts for the sake of happiness. 4. Give up if you can't bear it. For those who can't change, can't adapt and can't tolerate, you should pay attention. Since you can't win by playing, don't insist on playing blindly. You must carry out Chairman Mao's second word-"go", that is, give up. Although all contradictions can be transformed, the cost is too high to be worth it. Since both sides of the contradiction always exist and cannot be eliminated, we should simply live separately and eradicate the battlefield that caused the contradiction. Paying for a nanny, although it costs a little money, is better to take care of your family, but choosing the lesser of two evils can save your family. Many problems of mother-in-law and daughter-in-law are not actually problems of personality and values, but that the old man suddenly came to a strange place from the countryside or other cities and left the original life foundation, which made him emotionally unable to adapt. After meeting the needs of survival and security, people have to live by the spirit after all. The sense of superiority in life can't dispel the spiritual loss of the old man. For the elderly, it is the most important thing not to care much about food and clothing, to be healthy and to be happy. If we can't solve the emotional problems of the elderly, it will lead to depression, distraction, and even venting emotions for no reason, causing contradictions. In this case, if you really can't get along, the last and best way is to give up. Remember: giving up is not abandoning. Give up contradictions and stick to harmonious family ties. There are four principles and strategies to deal with the contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. 2. How to deal with the contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law 1? Daughter-in-law doesn't have to slap her boyfriend in front of her mother-in-law. If the wife slaps the child in front of her too much, the housewife will feel that her wife doesn't value herself. Therefore, in public, don't be too embarrassed with your husband, so as not to cause grandma's jealousy. 2, the wife should learn to pay attention to grandma, grandma is an old man, and the wife should have the most basic attention to grandma. Although there are many contradictions between housewives and their wives in life style and ideology, the wife should understand that she should attach importance to her grandmother's opinions and don't force her to listen to herself, otherwise she will think you are too strong and increasingly resistant to you. Therefore, regardless of lifestyle or ideology, even if there are differences, there is no need to force grandma to change for you. You can only understand that your grandmother will pay attention to you. A smart wife should understand that before paying attention to her husband's wife, everyone was a passerby, and now, she is the mother of the man you love. So, you should be kind to her. Usually, when a husband is on a business trip, he should do something that children should do. Observing her life, mastering her hobbies, bringing some small gifts at ordinary times and caring more about your grandmother will make her feel obedient and warm-hearted. 4, the wife should understand filial piety, although you are not brought by grandma, but your husband is raised by grandma. To be good to your husband, you must understand your child's feelings for his mother and respect her with him. So give your wife a smile and talk to her more. You are good to his mother, and he will be good to your mother. 5. Smart women are smart. Don't compare housewives with mothers. There is no contrast between housewives and mothers. Everyone is kind to their children, so you can't be a housewife according to the rules of mom and dad, let alone compare with your own mother. A prostitute is meat that fell from her mother's hand. Can she have no feelings? My wife is my husband's mother. We just know each other because of her husband. Even my wife's mother can have strong feelings after a long-term relationship. There is no doubt that there will be differences between the two in long-term communication. If there are differences between the wife and her in-laws, if a smart wife can't stand up to each other and use emotional intelligence to solve the differences between her mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, our relationship will be better.