What effect does boarding school have on children's psychology? Parents should pay more attention to their children. Children's growth determines their future. Parents should encourage their children and strive to lay a solid foundation for future development. Share with you what effect boarding school has on children's psychology.
What effect does boarding school have on children's psychology? 1 The child is about one year old and has an attachment relationship with his parents. However, the relationship between early children and their parents can be divided into four types: first, safety, avoidance, resistance and entanglement, and they always depend on their parents. The emotions of the first group of children are relatively stable and practical, while those of the latter three groups are relatively unstable.
Like some parents' worries about boarding schools, boarding schools do have some negative effects on children's psychological growth.
First of all, whether boarding schools have the conditions to pay attention to every child greatly affects the growth of children. Children, especially preschool children, should be exposed to all kinds of stimuli from family, school and so on. While getting along with parents at home and teachers and classmates at school, this change is beneficial to children. In school, it is often a teacher who faces many students, and it is impossible to realize personalized education for each child's different situation.
Secondly, whether a boarding school is good or not depends on the children's own abilities. Some children are extroverted and independent, and they are more likely to adapt to boarding school life. If the family education environment is not good, then the school teacher is undoubtedly a more professional educator.
Of course, in the process of tracking, we also found a mixed situation of boarding and non-boarding in the class. In this contrast, boarding children will have some strange emotions psychologically, such as thinking that I am different from other children, being abandoned by my parents to school, and so on. Dr. Liu met a child with good ability and quality, because the middle class became "full-time care" next semester, and his grades in all aspects declined.
When the child is about one year old, he has established an attachment relationship with his parents. However, the relationship between early children and their parents can be divided into four types: first, it is safe, that is, based on parents; The second is avoidance, that is, it doesn't matter whether there are parents or not; Third, rebellious, insecure, afraid of being abandoned by parents; Fourth, pestering people, always sticking to parents. The emotions of the first group of children are relatively stable and practical, while those of the latter three groups are relatively unstable.
10 years old is a critical period for children's emotional development. Psychology tends to teach children to understand what emotions are, rather than hiding them. In a group like a school, individual emotional expression is relatively lacking. It is more free for children to vent their emotions and feelings at home.
However, this does not mean that parents firmly grasp the last intimate period before their children enter small groups. The process of children's growth is actually the process of self-growth. Early children and their parents are one. They influence their parents' behavior by crying, and let their parents revolve around themselves. When I was about three years old, I entered a period of resistance, which was psychologically called independence to shame and doubt. From the age of three to ten, children must establish relationships with their peers, which also indicates that they will grow up in peer groups and gradually accept the views of the group. If parents let children of this age board for many reasons, they should let parents and children have more opportunities to get along and enhance parent-child relationship, just like mothers who bring their children home every Wednesday.
What effect does boarding school have on children's psychology? "Finally, someone stood up against boarding children." Zhao, a children's consultant, said in an interview.
Recently, Zhu Jiaxiong, director of the Institute of Preschool Education of East China Normal University, resolutely opposed sending children to boarding kindergartens at the Centennial Congress of Preschool Education in China held in Beijing, thinking that boarding kindergartens were a very bad thing.
Boarding affects children's physical and mental development.
As a doctor, Ms. Liu is determined not to send her second daughter to board. "If you send her to boarding, you think it will save trouble and the result will be more troublesome." Ms. Liu's eldest daughter was sent to "full-time care" when she was two years old and six months old. Until she graduated from primary school, she attended a carefully selected boarding school. Now Ms. Liu regrets when she talks about "boarding". Many people don't feel the problem of boarding because there is no comparison.
Ms. Liu said, "On congenital conditions, the big one is much better than the small one. I also drank alcohol when I was pregnant with my second child. I am old and in poor health. However, after the boss got on the boat, she fell ill once a month or half, and her body was completely paralyzed. " Ms. Liu found that this problem is not a case. In the largest class, boarding children are generally in poor health and short. "Comparatively speaking, eldest brother is more independent than younger sister, and his IQ is OK, but he just cares about his stall and seems to be an outsider. And the two children have very different personalities. We all have the same education, but the younger ones are smart and can hurt people. Everything at home likes to participate, but the boss is much colder and lacks interaction with his family. It seems that whether you care about her or not. "
Children need physical contact very much when they are young, which is very important for their physical and mental development, but Ms. Liu said that the eldest daughter does not need intimate contact at all. You tried to hug her, and she even stepped aside and asked, "What are you doing?" .
It may be an illusion that children are sensible and independent.
Some parents are satisfied with their children attending boarding kindergartens. One reason is that their children are smart and learn to stand on their own feet. They usually sleep without the care of their parents. Some parents also boast that their children will bring their mothers a glass of water before going to bed every night, which is very sensible.
Yi Chunli, a doctor of child psychology in Peking University, pointedly pointed out that this may be an illusion, which is required by the kindergarten teacher, and the child seems to be completing the task. This is not necessarily a good thing. "Such a small child doesn't need to interact with his parents before going to bed and listen to his mother telling stories. This is a serious problem in itself. "
In Yi Chunli's view, it is very cruel to send children to "boarding" too early. The younger the children, the greater the harm. In an interview with the reporter of Current Affairs News, Yi Chunli rudely dismissed the boarding kindergarten as a "senior orphanage". She said, "Here, children's material needs are not lacking, but their emotional needs are lacking. No matter how good a kindergarten teacher is, it can't replace parents, because parents and teachers feel differently about their children. Parents bring one child and one teacher brings many children. Their emotional input is different. "
"In a sense, it may not be too much to treat boarding kindergartens with the words' eradication'." Zhao said that many parents didn't see the mental harm that "boarding" might bring to their children. They thought that "boarding" was beneficial to their children, even the best way. Asked about the reasons of these parents, most of them take "full-time care" as the reason to exercise their children's self-care ability and adapt to collective life as soon as possible. As we all know, the biggest role of the family is to give children the concept of "root". If the concept of "root" is not formed, children's sense of belonging will be indifferent, and it is easy to mistake it for being abandoned by their parents.
There is a time limit for the establishment of intimate relationship between parents and children.
Zhao said that children should be taken care of by special people in their infancy (0 to 3 years old) because each child's physical development speed is different. For example, the development of the stomach, some rice is too much, and some are too little. Mastering the control of defecation does not depend on the wishes of adults, but on the inherent physiological development genes of children. Some parents only pay attention to the advantages and disadvantages of kindergarten hardware equipment, completely ignoring the emotional development regrets that this all-weather kindergarten may cause to children. Once this regret is formed, it is first manifested in the indifference to family members and the simplification and simplification of social understanding.
"Just like the four seasons of spring sowing and autumn harvest in nature, there is a time limit for establishing intimate relationships with children. Once the best opportunity is missed, it is difficult to make up for it for life. Once a child establishes an attachment relationship with other educators, the relationship between parents and children is immediately diluted. "
"Some parents have no confidence in educating their children and it is convenient to' push' their children to others. Although parents may choose a school, they can't choose caregivers, and they don't even know the education, personality and emotional control ability of caregivers. These are factors that will always affect children's growth. In addition, children go to kindergarten five days a week. Due to the limitation of language skills, they often don't take the initiative to tell their parents what happened this week on weekends. Only children who communicate with their parents every day can get timely communication and guidance. " Zhao said that parents' responsibility is to raise and educate their children, not just to pay for the whole education.
Children who don't get enough attention are prone to psychological imbalance.
In kindergarten, the middle floor is the most easily overlooked. Most of them are neither the most beautiful nor the best and naughty in the class. They are used to eating and sleeping on time and observing discipline. A female teacher in a boarding kindergarten said that some children didn't talk to the teacher once in kindergarten for three years, because they followed the crowd and no one paid attention. The rigid one-dimensional life lacks stimulation and is far away from real life, which makes "boarding" children think simply and have narrower knowledge than their peers in day care.
Zhao found in a survey of kindergartens in Wuhan that boarding children often use written language in their spoken language, especially when answering questions from adults, which is related to their long-term lack of sufficient attention and psychological imbalance.
Yi Chunli believes that the attachment relationship between children who have been in full-time care for a long time and their parents is very poor, which will cause long-term harm to children. For example, when they grow up, they may be indifferent, unable to communicate with others and unable to trust others.
In consultation, Yi Chunli found that children who are "boarding" and separated from their parents for a long time often have two States. One is depression. Children seem obedient, but they don't have their own thoughts. Yi Chunli particularly emphasized that this situation is easily overlooked by parents and is also the most dangerous for children's growth. The other is fear and insecurity. Children are often in a state of anxiety, especially timid, always clinging to their parents and afraid of being separated from them. The parents of a boarding child found this symptom in the kindergarten and thought that the kindergarten abused the child and brought the child back. Yi Chunli said that in fact, parents don't realize that boarding itself is a kind of harm to children. "Sending children to boarding kindergartens will save parents trouble, but they will also lose a lot of things, such as getting in touch with children and learning to be real parents." Yi Chunli said that parents' busyness is just an excuse and they should bear the responsibility as parents. For those parents who really want to send their children to boarding kindergartens, she suggested that they should pay special attention to whether their children's emotions are affected, whether there are any major changes, whether they are lively and suddenly become inactive, and parents should take their children to consult as soon as possible.
According to Zhao's understanding, there are no boarding kindergartens and primary schools in China or even Europe. Most of the existing kindergartens in Germany are also half-day, and the longest is from 8 am to 5 pm. A friend who came back from America said that only a few boarding kindergartens in America serve special professionals, such as doctors and nurses who work at night. According to international practice, even middle schools began boarding.
"Our children's time in kindergarten is not too short, but too long." Zhao thinks it is enough for children to participate in social activities for 4-8 hours every day.
The problem of preschool education needs the participation of the whole society.
In Japan, preschool education is a major issue for the whole society. What happens in kindergarten is usually on the front page of the newspaper. The status of kindergarten teachers is also quite high, and the salary is comparable to that of teaching assistants who stay in universities. It can be said that the quality of early childhood education at present determines the quality of future generations of the whole society in the next 20 years.
In Zhao's view, if parents have to choose boarding, the key factors are whether children have the opportunity to communicate with teachers alone, whether kindergartens or schools create some family-like atmosphere, whether children are allowed to bring their own toys and personal belongings, and so on. A child's attachment is a comfort that he relies on when he feels fear in collective life or when he is anxious because of separation. It can play a role in relieving emotions and getting through the crisis. In order to prevent children from homesick, hanging pictures of their parents and bringing their own things from home, some kindergartens artificially want children to forget their families. These are all very wrong.
During the consultation, Zhao found that many people in old boarding schools in their fifties and sixties still generally felt that family life was complicated and difficult to adapt to.
"Boarding in the former Soviet Union, the former East Germany, China and other socialist countries is more common. The slogan put forward at that time was to liberate women and let them take part in the revolution and work. In 1950s and 1960s, many boarding kindergartens and schools in China were mostly run for the children of cadres at that time. The children of these families grew up in a closed state and lacked social knowledge, especially family values and emotional knowledge. " Zhao pointed out in particular that many preschool education problems not only require educators to re-recognize and reflect, but also require the participation of the whole society. For example, it is generally recognized in the world that children aged 0-3 need to be cared for by their mothers at home, but how to realize this in China, whether women in China can return to their families for their children, and how to position and evaluate their status. These problems urgently need the attention and solution of all parties.