I am a badminton fan. Many years ago, when I entered the arena as an amateur badminton player, I was always in the second and third place. Can't find the reason. After every failure, I feel annoyed and blame myself. I know I have a great advantage and I work hard. Why do I always lose in important competitions?
I have been in this predicament for many years. It was not until I saw this book that I saw the net, the spell, and the devil who had restricted myself for a long time!
I found the key to solving the game problem, and then, I got out of hand and entered the peak of my amateur career-badminton lovers! I won the championship frequently in amateur competitions in Jilin Province, even in the three northeastern provinces. In 20 17, I represented Jilin Province in the amateur competition of the 13th National Games held in Tianjin! I not only broke through my own competition bottleneck, but also entered the high-level ranks of amateur competitions! I also broke through the cage that bound my inner strength!
I deeply realize that in my life, all the problems, all the troubles and everything I encounter are basically psychological problems! I am attracted by this great inner power, and I am fascinated by psychology!
Now, I am not only an excellent badminton coach, but also an enthusiastic psychological counselor!
Today, I want to share my thoughts with you!
Gallwey proposed that "ego" includes ego 1 and ego 2.
It is the ego 1 who gives the instructions, which is the voice in our heads. We must be familiar with this self 1. It keeps telling us: "the backcourt ball should be strong, not too wide, and the hitting point should be high." Alas ..... how out of bounds? " ? Idiot, your face is too far to the right! "The mind is constantly issuing instructions, constantly criticizing and correcting. Who is in charge of ego/kloc-0? It's the body! The body is the self 2.
Ego 1 constantly criticize ego 2, which is distrust.
Ego 1 Accept Ego 2' s mistakes, tolerate him, encourage him, and let Ego 2 play freely. This is trust.
From the psychological point of view, ego 1 is the inner parent and ego 2 is the inner child. For everyone, we will always have an inner child. When he succeeds, his parents need to give him applause and appreciation. When he fails, giving him tolerance and encouragement will give birth to his stability and strength! He will start his life freely and boldly! Will gradually turn parents' trust into confidence!
In the past, in the game, I often scolded myself for killing the ball under the net and serving it out of bounds, which was disappointing, stupid and cowardly. But this kind of "urging" has been worthless. Not to make me play better, but the more I blame myself, the more annoyed I am. The more you blame yourself, the worse your performance! But when I tried to give up the criticism in my mind, accept the mistake and say to myself, "It doesn't matter, you have tried your best", my performance became more and more relaxed and better! This is my profound experience in the competition!
In the field of education, parents' education for their children is the true embodiment of self 1 and self-2, and people's goals and results often run counter to each other. The more parents want their children to become talents, the more they put pressure on them, the more they have to tell them the right things, the right practices and requirements, the worse their children do, the more parents criticize them, the more they jump around and shout, the worse their children will be! This is exactly what the ego 1 does in the competition project of children's "growth". This is a cage, a restriction, a clutch that suppresses children's vitality! I suggest parents who skip the exam because of their children's learning problems to be as soft as possible. When your instructions, demands and criticisms are less, when you give up control and control it properly, the children will get better and better! This is the collective feeling of all parents who have failed in education!
Gallwey said that as individuals, we should believe in ourselves, tolerate ourselves, encourage recognition and love ourselves, so that we can have real strength and be truly excellent! I want to say that if you still want to be an excellent parent, you should treat your children like this. Only in this way can your child's life be more creative, continuous and powerful!
In the past, every time I met an important game, I would have such a voice in my head: "This game is very important. I must win, not lose. If I lose, others will look down on me, judge me badly, what I can't do, how can I not, I will be laughed at and denied. "
When my mind is full of such voices, I am really afraid of failure and comments after failure, especially when you stand at a certain height, you will be particularly afraid of falling! During the game, I seemed to be on the court, but I didn't concentrate on the game at all My energy is used to fight anxiety!
When Gallwey explained the state of "relaxation and concentration", I suddenly realized that I really cared too much about and valued this kind of external evaluation before, which made me too "nervous"! I regard public opinion as heaven. In my logic, if I win the game, I succeed. If I lose the game, I'm worthless! But it's really not like this! A game is just a game, which has nothing to do with your quality!
When I saw this truth clearly, the burden of thought magically disappeared! I am pleased with the result, and I am satisfied with the moment of the game. I only pay attention to every ball, round and stroke of my opponent. I concentrate on observation and judgment. I try my best to catch every return ball. I have changed from worrying about the result to enjoying the process! I will sincerely sigh, this game is so cool! I really realized what relaxed concentration is! I found that when I immerse myself wholeheartedly, success is only a natural result!
I used to regard the game as a battlefield without smoke, and I wanted to fight on the field, either you die or I die! The pressure my opponents bring me, the obstacles they create, and their strength threaten our lives. Every game is a matter of life and death! When the enemy discovered my technical weakness and constantly attacked my weakness, I began to be angry, anxious and hateful! I have always rejected or even avoided powerful opponents! Because I want to prove my self-worth and establish my excellent image through competition and success. I regard winning the game as the only embodiment of my self-worth! But I have never really thought about the meaning of competition, and I have never really thought about the meaning of competition.
Gallwey said, "Your opponent is your best coach".
The real meaning of victory lies not in the result of winning the opponent, but in the experience and process of constantly crossing obstacles!
When I changed my mode of thinking, I found that my opponent played the role of your enemy, creating obstacles and difficulties for you and giving me a powerful opportunity! We can't feel the joy of victory in the confrontation with the baby, but we can feel the great sense of accomplishment and significance of winning the opponent with equal strength. It is because, at a deeper level, what excites us and makes us care about is the process of crossing obstacles and conquering difficulties. And in the process of constantly crossing obstacles and difficulties and constantly experiencing, we become stronger and stronger!
From this perspective, the opponent is our coach and our noble person! We should cherish and thank our opponents for their powerful existence!
When we move towards life, we will also experience many setbacks. When we look at setbacks in life with the eyes of obstacles encountered in competition, we will find that setbacks always teach us something in the dark! Those principles of life, wealth can't be obscene!
Nietzsche said, "Those who can't kill me will eventually make me stronger"! Therefore, all setbacks are wealth!
Moreover, one day, you will find that the only person we can finally defeat is ourselves!
This is wisdom and truth!
The book "The Miracle Power of the Unity of Body and Mind" gave me the power to believe in myself, focus on the present power and treat the competition correctly! These forces gradually evolved into my vitality!
If the process of life is regarded as a game, then these forces will run through every corner and minute of my life experience!
Just like at this moment, here, I am breaking through, strengthening and defeating myself through the activity of "I am a storyteller".
My vitality is bursting out at this moment!