1. The only difference between me and Superman is: I wear underwear inside.

2. I am in the world, but there are no legends about me in the world...

3. I heard that women are like clothes and brothers are like brothers and sisters. Looking back, I am so confused. I have been running naked for x years!

4. People are born on the bed and die on the bed. If they want to live or die, they are also on the bed.

5. Wizard, please tell the princess that I am still on the road of overcoming thorns and thorns. There are still snow-capped mountains that have not been climbed, rivers that have not been crossed, dragons that have not been killed, and beautiful women that have not been bathed... Tell her to continue sleeping!

6. Don’t worry, I’ve lost my appetite when I see you, so why talk about sexual desire!

7. I think I would enjoy the morning if it came later.

8. The Master said on the river: "How nice it would be to have a boat!"

9. Love at first sight, then fades away, and is exhausted three times.

10. I am now so poor that I have to negotiate for a price in public restrooms, and I have to wait for change to give alms to beggars!

11. I look forward to the stars and the moon, and when the moon comes, I look forward to the sun (on the way to QQ upgrade Struggled netizens stay)

12. Research by several academicians of the Chinese Academy of Sciences has proven that the real royal road is...the road in the palace!

13. Hand over your basin! Sir, I have to wash my pants.

14. You must look carefully when looking for a partner now, because there are too many people who are neither men nor women!

15. If one day I become a star, I will definitely take it off for you to see!

16. If you say that I am a bad person, I will kill you!

17. Your head seems to have been hit by a train and it has enlightened you.

18. The poorest men don’t bargain when buying vegetables, but the richest women also have to bargain when buying vegetables.

19. Yesterday, someone asked me if the mayor of Nanjing was named Jiang Daqiao. I said no. He said that when I was crossing the river in Nanjing by train, why did I see a billboard that said: Nanjing Yangtze River Bridge welcomes you!

20. I actually envy Furong JJ, who lives in his own world. Here, I am happy for myself and disgust others.

21. Don’t wash it. If it weren’t for the mud, this old car would have fallen apart.

22. Epitaph: Go to bed and burn paper to keep in touch; please do not spit, poop or urinate here. If you are in a hurry, you can go to the grave of the original poster next to it; I used to be a fat man, and now I lie with all The person wearing it is also skinny! ; Remember to burn some pictures of beauties for me during the Chinese New Year;

23. Someone challenged me and said: Come here. I didn't reply, just walked away quickly, and then shot him down in hindsight.

24. I will definitely be reincarnated as a woman in my next life, and then marry a man like me.

25. I can’t fly, no matter who it is for.

26. I wandered into his life unintentionally, while he has been wandering in his own life.

27. The price in shopping malls now is robbery without a knife... It’s too expensive... If it goes on, it’s time to learn how to use a sewing machine... Do it yourself...

28. Prices “must be in line with international standards” and wages “must be consistent with China’s national conditions.”

29. The train climbs up so fast. I wonder how fast it will be when I stand up and run!

30. I will never hit you with a meat bun again.

31. Congratulations, people all over the world have converted to Islam, and you can live with peace of mind!

32. The toilet prompt I saw in a steakhouse next to Wuhan and Guangzhou said, "You can only pee here, never um-um - poor waiter, please come in." I laughed so hard~

33. Standing in front of a nude picture in the school art exhibition, I kept telling myself: "This is art, and I am doing aesthetics." However, the prominent expression of a certain part of the body still betrayed me. .

34. Five women were taking a shower, and ten men were peeking in. (An idiom) - colorful

35. A pig walked onto the stage and said "hoo" Take a breath, and then go down; a cow walks onto the stage, takes a breath, and then goes down; a sheep walks onto the stage, does nothing, and goes down.

(an idiom)-------feeling proud (the sheep didn't exhale)

36. Which cartoon character likes to help others the most?

---Doraemon because he always lends a helping hand

37. Who is raising the bear in Xiao Ming’s family? A Xiaoming B mother C father D grandpa E grandma

Answer E Because grandma’s bear

38. Which animal shows do not charge money?

The centipede is not rewarded for its ineffective work

39. What animal only has three inches?

Snake because of the sharp tongue (snake)

40. 20 years ago, your father held you while waiting for the bus. People laughed at the child because he was ugly, and he cried. An old man selling bananas patted my father and said, "Brother, don't cry. Give a banana to the monkey! It's so pitiful. It's so hungry that it has no hair on it."

41.. Which country is it from? The slimmest person?

China Because of China Life (Slim)

42. I swear, all the vows I made before will be canceled from now on! I swear I will never swear again!

43. I just registered a user named "Dad" on a website. As a result~~~~ He sent me an email. I was dumbfounded at first when I saw it. It said: Dad, Hello. Your username registration is successful! I~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

44. The stupid bird flies first, and the stupid pig gets fat first.

45.you really he mother’s strong - -! (You are so damn strong!)

46. Recently, even the poor people moved in tears...

47. If there is an afterlife, I want to be a tree. Standing for eternity, without gestures of joy or sorrow. Half of it is peaceful in the dust, half of it is flying in the wind, half of it is covered with shade, and half of it is bathed in sunshine. Very silent and very proud, never relying on and never looking for anything.

48. Heaven, earth, Dou E is more unjust than me!

49. If you do this again, don’t blame me for turning against me!

50. I didn’t see the meat when I took the first bite of the meat buns I bought on the road yesterday, and I didn’t see the meat when I took the second bite! I finished the bun in the third bite! ! !

51. A true warrior dares to face the balance of his bank card and the number on the scale.

52. When I give birth to a son in the future, I want to name him Hao Shuai. Then when people see me, they will say: What a handsome dad!!

53. You will never make the wolf sing Attract, really - you'll just scare the wolves away.

54. Wangcai, come and see, there are humans who are even worse than you!

55. With Doubanjiang, life is different

56. Invisibility for thousands of years, diving for thousands of years, and occasionally floating corpses.

57. Men want to be taller, women want to be thin, dogs wear clothes and people show their flesh...

58. I have degenerated, I still can't swim, but before I was born, I was definitely the fastest swimmer...

59. Are you hungry? I have cold medicine here! Would you like a drink?

60. It doesn’t matter if you have the intention, but it doesn’t matter if you don’t have the intention!

61. Your appearance is not bad, your figure is not bad, your personality is not bad, your character is not bad, your career is not bad, and the friends around you are not bad. Your life is not bad now. There is nothing bad about you, so you are called a bad guy!

62. Why don’t women use the same perfume, so that I don’t have to change my sheets when I greet them!!

63. Cherish life and stay away from urban management!

64. Men are meant to be relied upon, so I have to be reliable; women are meant to be loved, so Miss, you have to be cute.

65. Some parents act as if they have no children; some children act as if they have no parents.

66. A: I went to the United States for an inspection. Isn’t it particularly rewarding? B: Yes! Americans’ English proficiency is very high! Even the kids can speak English!

67. In the past, when seeing a doctor, the doctor downplayed serious illnesses so that you would not panic and recover with peace of mind. Nowadays, when seeing a doctor, doctors treat minor illnesses as serious ones, lest you don’t panic and send money to the hospital!

68. Do you know why city people like to fly kites now? Because there are no cattle or sheep to graze.

69. Loneliness means that when someone is talking, no one is listening; when someone is listening, you have nothing to say!

70. Bathing is a blessing for the butt and a hardship for the head; watching movies The head enjoys the blessing, but the butt suffers hardship. Listening to the leader's speech means both the head and the butt suffer hardship.

71. I searched for him through hundreds of search engines, but suddenly I looked back and saw that the man still ignored me...

72. The thief who stole my wallet only saw five dollars when he opened it. She sighed with tears: "It's not easy!".

73. It is said that after the earliest Christians finished their prayers, four people made the closing remarks. One said Amen, another said Ah Qian, another said a tree, and what do you think the other one said? (Grape vine.)

74. Plant you in a flowerpot so that you can also know what a vegetative state is...

75. Life is very messy and disorderly; feelings are very There is so much hope; money is rare and scarce; the stock market is green and miserable; rumors are accurate and timely; some people are stupid and naive!

76. The red beans don’t grow in the South, but grow on my face. I really miss you!

77. It was you who forced me to add a verb between the two subjects of me and your mother!

78. Wealth does not necessarily mean talent, stomach does not necessarily taste, sexual happiness does not necessarily mean happiness, and sincerity does not necessarily mean success.

79. Someone asked me, when did history exist? I said, there is history when there is poop. That person ""I said the most classic saying in the world: There is poop. Come here...

80. A large population is a problem~ If homosexuality is legal...there will be fewer people!

81. Money is a bastard, easy to use but not easy to earn... Some people are willing to be bastards for money...

82. The world is so big that I have traveled all over the world. Water can't find you, the world is too small, so small that I can meet you at the corner in the blink of an eye. Thousands of words turned into one sentence: Brother, it’s time for you to pay back the money!

83. Smoke knows the loneliness of hands! Wine soothes the loneliness of the throat!

84. After graduating with a master’s degree, I entered the job market and found that we were all old (very old) and white (still idiots) rookies (poor rookies).

85. To be young means to have no taboos, to be thorough in being funny, to be powerful in destruction, to get into trouble is a patent, to pretend to be good is a unique skill, to punish people depends on talent, to be punished depends on fate, in short, never be restless.

86. In order to find my prince, should I kiss all the frogs in the world...

87. Man: I like you so much, I really like you, Can I kiss you? Woman: Shameless! Man: Then I’ll kiss you.

88. I’m used to going to Tianya: A dozen friends gathered for a dinner. They just went up to the stairs on the second floor. They saw a man helping a pregnant woman downstairs. The friend who was walking in front quickly stepped aside and turned around. One sentence: "Keep formation downstairs!"

89. The company had a physical examination before the year and the report came out. A male colleague of mine took the report and asked everyone in surprise: "I am a man, how can I be negative?"

90. I don't look handsome on the outside, but in fact I am in underwear (cool on the inside)< /p>

91. Once I borrowed money from someone, what I originally wanted to say was: "I will pay you back when I get the money", but it turned out to be: "I will take the money from you when I have it."

92. When you are bored, you want to eat, but the more you eat, the more boring you become!

93. At first glance, you are not very good, but when you look closely, you are not as fierce as you are. Take a look.

94. You can’t carry tigers in Shaanxi, you can’t take the train in Changsha, you can’t go to the coal mines in Shanxi, you can’t enter social security in Shanghai, you can’t talk about heavy rain in Jinan, you can’t go to the station in Guangzhou, and you can’t repair computers in Hong Kong.

95. The generation gap is, I asked my dad: What do you think of "Chrysanthemum Terrace"? Dad, think about it: I’ve never drank before!

96. Turtle has a high alcohol capacity. One day he got drunk. His friend asked: How can you still be drunk? Turtle replied: Alas, that grandson of Octopus insists on getting drunk. I'm punching, damn, there are so many hands, I can't even see them, I'm really a loser!

97. If the bad guys can't be caught today, they will be caught tomorrow. If they can't be caught tomorrow, the bad guys will become good guys.

98. Even if a broken mirror is reunited, the cracks will still exist. The reason why the puzzle can be put back together is because it originally had cracks.

99. Like to use your ears and eyes. When you don’t like it anymore, you can cover your ears. When you don’t like it anymore, even if you close your eyes, tears will flow!

100. When I love you, I am like a flower giving honey to a bee; when I don’t love you, I am like a bee giving needles to a flower!

101. The sea is open to all rivers, and tolerance is great! Whose wife is Yourong?

102. In kindergarten, recess meals are distributed. The teacher asked the children to wash their hands first before getting anything to eat. A child asked: Why do you need to wash your hands first? One answer: Idiot! Washing is healthier!

103. Summer is a season that shows off the charm of women and exposes the nature of men...

104. The head teacher walked into the classroom angrily and said to the students: You call me "Yu Wen Zhang" I tolerated it, but why did you call Teacher Fan, who just came to teach politics, a political prisoner?

105. People of a certain African tribe did not wear underwear. The white people told them that wearing underwear would be clean and warm, so they all wore it, but they did not know to take off their pants when defecating. After pooping, I looked back at the ground and it was indeed clean!

106.A: The guy living downstairs is really crazy. He even knocks on my door in the middle of the night. B asked: What should you do? A: Who cares about this lunatic? Keep singing our songs!

107. In the morning, as soon as the computer repairman went to work, a customer came angrily and asked to change the keyboard: One key was missing! I checked carefully: It's just right. Can you tell me what keys are missing? "Any key!"

108. Mom: "You are eight years old. You don't need your mother to accompany you anymore. You can sleep by yourself!" Child: "Dad is so old, why do you still sleep with him? ?"

A 109.4-year-old child saw a frog jumping. He imitated the frog and jumped a few times. Then he stood up and said, "It's so tiring! It's so hard for the frog. I have to do it every day." Jump like this.

110. My first goal: lend me money from Bill Gates; second goal: repay the money Bill Gates lent me; third goal: lend money to Bill Gates!

111. A person called the radio station to request a song: I didn’t buy a ticket and couldn’t go home for the New Year. The host asked who he wanted him to request a song for? He said: I will sing "You Are Cruel" and give it to all the ticket sellers...

112. In the Chinese class, the female teacher asked: "How do you pronounce the pinyin of soft?!" The boys shouted in unison: "日 "End... soft!" Teacher: "Your boys' pronunciation is not standard, please give female students additional answers!" The female students responded in unison: "Ri Wan I... soft!" The class director said: "No, the correct pronunciation is Ri Wu Wan. …soft!” The female principal said: “That’s not right, it’s five nights today and I’m...soft!”

113. When you have no money, you eat wild vegetables at home; when you have money, you eat wild vegetables in the hotel...

114. Adult: Do you know why your mother gave birth to you instead of your father? Child: Because mom has maternity leave, but dad doesn’t! < /p>

116. I always have insomnia. I can’t fall asleep if I can’t count N sheep every night, and I always meet a wolf on the way. One day, A has insomnia again, and B on the lower bunk hands me a knife. Why? ? Kill the wolf!

117. The kid next door finally vowed to lose weight - at the graduation job fair, someone said to him: "Brother, let me go, you are blocking my mobile phone signal."

118. In the marriage of monkey and dog, on the wedding night, the monkey groom asked the bride: What do you like about me that you chose to marry me? The dog bride said shyly: It’s not just so that the child can look human!

119. The most difficult thing in the world is love, the hardest thing to find is love, the hardest thing to return is favor, the rarest thing is friendship, the hardest thing to separate is family affection, and the most uncomfortable thing is ruthlessness. The most unforgettable thing is the expression on your face when you poop.

120. Two flies argued about where to go on their honeymoon after getting married. Finally, the male fly brought the world map and decided to travel around the world for 80 days. The female fly nodded and said: I think it’s okay to travel to China!

121. When a woman is over 25, she no longer talks about youth, when she is over 35, she no longer talks about youth, and when she is over 40, she no longer talks about beauty, no matter how beautiful she has been. However, women can always talk about beauty.

122. The female orangutan has been very worried about her husband since she got married to the male orangutan.

One day, she saw the golden monkey coming down from the tree, and shouted: "Stop, who are you trying to seduce after dyeing your hair?"

123. I have a green dragon on my left, a white tiger on my right, and a Mickey Mouse tattoo on my shoulder!!

124. When I first graduated: Brothers, see you later; one year after graduation: Brothers, see you later I will have a wife; later: brothers, I regret having a wife; later: brothers, I will have a second wife; finally: brothers, I regret having a second wife.

125. When I went to work on Monday morning, many colleagues were taking naps. Seeing this, the boss couldn't help but sigh: "After two days of rest on the weekend, everyone is very tired now..."

126. The boss patted the basketball: You are SHI, I will defeat you today!

127. My wife came home early in the morning from playing mahjong. In order not to disturb her husband, she took off her clothes in the living room. When I entered the bedroom, my husband woke up and was furious: "It's too much, you lost everything!"

128. When I was walking on the road, I kicked a child when I saw him, to prove that I didn't Pedophilia~ When I see a good woman, I tease her to prove that I am not gay~

129. If a man doesn’t have the ability, don’t say that a woman lives too realistically. If a woman doesn’t have the ability, don’t say that a man lives too much...< /p>

130. My son said to me today: Dad, it’s really annoying to have TV series inserted in TV commercials. Fortunately it didn't last long.

131. Summer is just not good. When I was poor, I couldn’t even drink the northwest wind...

132. The sign of an immature man is that he is willing to die heroically for a certain cause. , the sign of a mature man is that he is willing to live humbly for a certain cause...

133. Those who are happy for your sadness are enemies; those who are happy for your happiness are friends; those who are happy for your Those who are sad and sad are those who should be kept in our hearts.

134. Modern women: Wear just a little in winter, but three in summer...

135. Ducks and crabs race together and reach the finish line together. It’s hard to tell the winner, the referee said : Let’s have a rock-paper-scissors game! The duck was furious: Damn it, you're plotting against me. When I come out, it's always paper, and he's always scissors.

136. I want a lot of love. If there is no love, then there is a lot of money. If there is neither, health is also good.

137. When you retire, you should spend more time with your family... Family matters, national affairs, and world affairs should take priority!

138. God has not given me any big responsibilities, but they still tax my mind and body.

139. Everyone in high school is given a name badge. Before a check-up, the head teacher ran to the classroom and shouted loudly, everyone, please put on your bras quickly, we are here for check-up...The whole audience was silent...

140. Mistakes are temporary regrets, while misses are permanent regrets. !

141. Men deepen their friendship because of tobacco and alcohol, and women make their friendship deeper because of their complaints.

142. When talking about topics, the teacher likes to use the word "immerse yourself in it"... "My base radius is 20CM, my height is 50CM, then I..." Someone below said, "I am a loser..." The whole class burst into laughter... …

143. On Valentine’s Day, I was eating noodles alone in a restaurant and heard a song request program on the radio saying: “There is a gentleman who requests songs for all the lovers to express his blessings. Please listen below. "Speechless Ending"... I felt very bad. People can be without love, but they cannot be shameless, so I also called and requested a song - "Happy Breakup" by Liang Jingru.

144. Nine words for a happy life: hope, something to do, someone to love...

145. If you call your boyfriend (husband) (pager, mobile phone) and the line is busy ( There is absolutely no need to call a second time if the caller does not answer), does not reply, or is turned off (not in the service area). Because ruining other people's happy time is really a bad thing. The key is to make yourself lose face.

146. My eyes are not small, it’s just that my eyelids are heavy...

147. I am not a boring person, but I don’t necessarily have anything to talk to you about, so, be on your own Just figure it out!

148. Earn the money of migrant workers and live a petty bourgeoisie life! You don’t know if you don’t have a budget, but you will be shocked when you get a budget!

149. Japanese dramas nod and bow; Korean dramas ramble; Hong Kong dramas are ridiculous It’s just a fabrication; the good mainland dramas are really good, but the bad ones are even worse.

150. Half of the troubles in life are because you say yes too quickly and say no too slowly.

151. The beautiful girl proposed to the old man.

Old man: Are we suitable? Girl: The Marriage Law does not stipulate age differences. Old man: What are the regulations? Girl: The right to inherit her husband’s property.

152. Why am I sending you this message? Because I don’t want to see you. Why don't I want to see you? Because I don't dare to look at your face. Why don't I dare to look at your face? Because I just vomited yesterday.

153. Boys must be poor, otherwise they will not know how to struggle; girls must be rich, otherwise they will coax them away with a piece of cake.

154. When day pushed night into bed again, the sun was born...

The 155.5-year-old daughter asked her father to help her do something. Dad: "Dad is very tired. Please praise me a few times. If you praise me a few words, I will feel energetic again." Daughter: "Old Zheng!" Dad: "Hey!" Daughter: "Your Niuniu looks so good." It’s so beautiful...”

156. Kindergarten teacher Xiaofang pointed to the pinyin of m, a, y, d, and b on the blackboard to test the children. The children said with the most standard pronunciation: “ Touch-Auntie’s-wave~~~

157. Why do the children run away when they reach the door of the "Youpeng Snacks" store?

158. : I don’t really want to eat, but my mouth wants to move.

Baby Annie said: At that moment, you finally discovered that the person you once loved deeply, as early as the day you said goodbye. Has disappeared from this world. The love and longing in my heart are just memories of what I once had. I think that some things can be forgotten, some things can be remembered, some things can be done willingly, and some things I have never been able to do. I love you, this is my disaster.

Sun Zhanmin said: I missed it as I passed by

Rao Xueman said: There is a wall in your heart. If you push it away, you can see heaven.

Rao Xueman said: To use a very clichéd saying, if he is the fire, then I am the reckless and stupid moth

Han Han said: No matter how tired or miserable you are, just be yourself No matter how difficult or dangerous it is to be two hundred and five, just treat yourself as a two-skinned person

It is better to read thousands of books than to travel thousands of miles. To travel thousands of miles is not as good as reading countless people. Reading countless people is not as good as a famous teacher showing the way. A famous teacher showing the way is not as good as comprehending by yourself

Not every sorry sentence can be changed to be okay

I discovered that the way to attract a man is to keep him from getting it; the way to attract a woman is just the opposite, to let her. I am always satisfied.

Pull me out and kill the guy who said "time is the best medicine" because after trying it myself, it has no effect at all.

Loneliness cannot be given up. Addiction.

A person has only one heart, but there are two atriums. One is for happiness; the other is for sadness. Don’t laugh too loud, otherwise it will wake up the sadness next to you. p>Me: "Boss, give me a bowl of rice noodles with green pepper and shredded pork. Add more green pepper, more shredded pork, and more rice noodles. ”

Boss: “Aren’t those two bowls...”

When you are embraced by failure, success may be waiting to kiss you.

Money Everything you can buy is worthless in the end.

The lunatic is not scary, but the lunatic with normal mind is scary.

Facts have proved that feelings can withstand the wind and rain. It cannot withstand the ordinary; friendship can withstand the ordinary, but it cannot withstand the wind and rain.

People have a background, but I only have a back~~

Love is like two girls. The person who wears a rubber band is always the one who gets hurt and refuses to let go.

The difference between a lie and an oath is: one is taken seriously by the listener, and the other is taken seriously by the teller.

There is no perfect partner, only two people with 50 points!

Don’t complain about life all day long, life will never know who you are, let alone listen to your complaints.

p>

If love can be reserved, I will still choose you in the next life! -----Love Message

You have to eat a little bit to have the strength to lose weight.

I don’t even think about it. I'm so embarrassed to catch you, but why are you so embarrassed to steal?

Men like obedient women, but if a man likes a woman, he will listen to her unconsciously

Spherical too. A kind of figure!

There is a one-dollar coin in the flower bed, but the sign next to the flower bed reads "Three yuan fine for stepping into the flower bed!" "It's really embarrassing.

If you have to pay taxes when you look in the mirror, I'm afraid some women will go bankrupt.

There is a ramen restaurant in Chengdu marked as "Northwestern style". Students who have never had Northwest style can try it.

You get what you pay for. Hungry~!

We used to grow corn at first, but later we started to implement reforms and planted pineapples. Looking from a distance, we can see large tracts... The leaders came to inspect and said: "It's very good, very good, everything is here." 成了波罗的海了……

没有东西比爱情好，大米粥总比没有东西好，所以，大米粥比爱情好。

锻炼肌肉，防止挨揍！< /p>

When the sky falls, you hold it up and I hold it up, haha...

There is no way to eliminate this feeling, so I frown, wow, it's on my mind again!!! !

I am a kind-hearted person. Even if I trample an ant to death, I will chant sutras and Buddhist scriptures to transcend the dead souls and build tombs for them. I am even more afraid that they will be single and lonely after death, so I trample on them again. Dozens of ants died to accompany him, which can be said to be a dedicated effort. I hope that kind-hearted people will contact me~~~

On the west city, Zhuge Liang finished playing a song, and the lingering sound echoed around the walls, and the 150,000 Wei troops outside the city could be heard. Zhuge Liang said, "Thank you, everyone. Please pay one tael for each ticket." "The Wei army was shocked. In a moment, not a single one of the 150,000 people was left...

God gave me a brain - so I thought; God gave me feet - so I ran; God gave me I pointed my fingers - so I went online. After thinking about it, I ran to go online...

No one who is more talented than me is more handsome than me, and no one who is more handsome than me is more talented than me!

MM ignored...

"Then, if you don't give me a smile, I will give you a smile..."

MM: Look behind you. Fascinate thousands of troops; look at it from the front and scare away millions of lions

I hope one day I can double-click my wallet with the mouse, then select a 100 yuan card and hold down "ctrl-c" "Then keep "ctrl-v"...

Don't fool me with the "XO" that expired in 1983, give me a bottle of this year~

Stuttered: "I ...You and I are just...like fish can't live without...boiling water! ”

Stretch out four fingers and pronounce “four” in English. Then bend the four fingers again. How do you pronounce it in English? Yes, it is - "wonderful!" "(curved "four")

I never blush when I see beautiful girls, but I blush when others see them. Why should I blush? I haven't done anything bad, I just have my eyesight. Just a little too persistent...

New Nongfu Spring Advertisement:

A young gangster was teasing a girl, and passers-by didn’t dare to stop him. At this time, a farmer rushed forward and said, "Let it go." She, she is my sister! "

"Who are you? Are you looking for trouble..." Before he could finish speaking, only three muffled sounds were heard, and the little gangster fell to the ground with his face covered in blood.

(The camera turns) I saw the farmer rubbing his wrist and cursing: "NND, let you taste the power of the farmer's three punches (mountain spring)! ”

Ugly, but very ugly, that is, very ugly.

I never write words, but I write fake words!

A Cabbage took off his clothes while walking.

A black cat rescued a white cat from the river. Do you know what the white cat said to the black cat? ? It said: "Meow. . . . "

How to make a drink bigger? Answer, recite the Great Compassion Mantra.

One day a match fell down and broke my head, so I went to the hospital to bandage it. It became a cotton swab.

Zhuge Liang had never led a soldier before he came out of the mountain. Why do you want me to have work experience!

I am not afraid of enemies like tigers, but pigs. Same teammates!

You can't satisfy everyone, because not everyone is human

A mung bean was walking on the street. As he walked, he stepped on a piece of lemon. It turned into [sour bean feet]...

This child is so damn lovable; this child is so damn lovable; this child is so damn lovable...

The two farmers boasted - "The chickens on our farm eat only tea leaves and lay tea eggs." "Well, on our farm, we give the chickens wallets to eat and let them lay poached eggs..."

Don't say that others have a brain disease. The prerequisite for a brain disease is to have a brain.

When we are young, we often make faces in the mirror; when we are old, the mirror is even.

After meeting me, you will suddenly realize - it turns out that being handsome can be so specific!

I only drink pure water, and I only drink pure milk, so I am very simple...

Excerpted from "Gu Long Quotations"

Better than meeting a What makes shrews even more troublesome is that

meeting two shrews at the same time

Rice and steamed stuffed buns get into a group fight. Rice relies on the strength of the crowd, and he will fight anyone with steamed stuffed buns he sees! No one was spared from the steamed dumplings stuffed with sugar and meat...Zongzi was forced into a corner. In desperation, he took off his clothes and shouted: Look clearly, I am an undercover!

The teacher asked a classmate how to reduce white pollution?

Student answer: Make the lunch box blue

There was a person who had a bad gastrointestinal problem. One day, he came to the gastroenterology hospital to see a doctor and said to the doctor: "I poop what I eat." , eat water

Melon and watermelon, eat cucumber and pull cucumber!"

The doctor thought for a while and said to him: "I think you can only eat shit!"

On the plane, a stewardess asked a little girl: "Why does the plane fly so high without hitting the stars?"

The little girl replied: "I know, because the stars will 'Flash'!"

Q: What do African cannibal chiefs eat?

A: People!

Q: One day, the chief fell ill and the doctor told him to be vegetarian. So what did he eat?

A: Eat a vegetable! ~~

A medium-rare steak and a medium-rare steak met on the street. Why didn’t they say hello? (Assuming they can talk)

Because... ..................

Because........................

Because they are not familiar with each other~~! Haha

Pretending to be stupid, if done well, can be called wise and foolish. Being dull, if done well, is called deepness.

Some people are destined to wait for others, and some people are destined to be waited for.

When a great person like me wants to find someone to admire, I go look in the mirror.

Heroes don’t care about the way out, and gangsters don’t care about age!

If you want to hang out in the world, it is best to be a bachelor

Even if you believe, there is a lie hidden in the middle. (Belive means believe, lie means lie)

Do you think I will watch you die? I'll close my eyes.

Get away from me as far as your thoughts go

Please don’t speak English in front of me in the future, OK?

Asking you how much sorrow you can have is like a group of eunuchs going to a brothel

Men conquer women by conquering the world! Women conquer the world by conquering men!

Live with the attitude of death...

I come quietly, leave quietly, wave the dagger, leaving no one alive.

Zai Zai was repaired by his father. He ran to his mother to complain: "Mom, what will you do if someone beats your son?" Mom: "I will

beat his son to take revenge! "Zai Zai: "..."

When I was a child, my teacher told me the definition of "handsome guy". I couldn't understand it. Later, my colleague took out a mirror for me. OY! Suddenly it dawned on me.

In the 21st century, what is most important? Me

Everyone says I am an actor because my eyes widen when I see a beautiful girl...

From a monkey It takes thousands of years to become a human, and it only takes a bottle of wine to change from a human back to a monkey.

No big deal. ——An advertising slogan for breast enhancement products

Q: What do you like about me? Answer: I like you to stay away from me!

When I was a child, I thought I could save the whole world when I grew up. But when I grew up, I realized that the whole world couldn’t save me...

Even if I am a toad, I will definitely Don't marry your mother.