2, come out to mix, my wife will change sooner or later!

3, men fool women, called flirting; Women fool men, called seduction; Men and women fool each other, which is called love.

4. People who run around brothels are not old. Please use Huiren Shenbao.

5. A scholar dies as a confidant, and a woman has plastic surgery for herself.

6. It is inevitable to blame the hand of time and write love as love.

7. personals: The requirements are as follows: A is alive and B is female.

8. Get up and cry when you fall ~ ~ ~

9. We have some differences: she wants me to turn dung into gold, and I want her to treat gold as dung.

10, it turns out that as long as people are separated, people who are familiar with each other will gradually alienate.

1 1, get out of here and keep rolling.

12, gold always shines, but when there is gold everywhere, I don't know which one I am.

13, how far is it forever? Get out, boy!

14, if you tell me to get out, I'll get out. You asked me to come back. Sorry, I'm leaving.

15, ordered two dishes in the canteen at noon. Eating the first one shocked me. Is there anything worse in the world? I cried after eating the second one.

16. The difference between a lie and an oath is that the listener takes it seriously and the speaker takes it seriously.

17, go to the pizza shop to buy pizza! The waiter asked me whether to cut it into 8 pieces or 12 pieces. I thought about it and said: 8 yuan! 12 can't eat!

18, even if you believe it, there is a lie hidden in the middle.

19, either endure or be cruel.

20. The merry-go-round is the most cruel game in the world, chasing each other, but always separated by a sad distance.

2 1, there is no rehearsal in life, and it is broadcast live every day; Not only the ratings are low, but also the salary is not high.

22. It is very important to remind everyone to learn how to repair notebooks! Once upon a time, there was a man who couldn't repair a notebook. Everyone knows what happened afterwards. (Since the Edison Chen incident, I won't say much about the reasons. )

23. I am not a fortune teller in the square. I can't say so much as you like.

24, my god! My clothes have lost weight again.

25. I met a writer's signature: it may seem rough, but it may not be. I met a GG signature: Give me a girl and I can create a nation.

26. When a mouse gets angry, everyone is a sick cat.

27, 0 years old, 10 years old every day. 20-year-old dream, 30-year-old effort. At the age of 40, it is basically oriented, and at the age of 50, it is full of popularity. Playing mahjong at the age of 60 and wandering around at the age of 70. 80-year-old lesbians are very common, and 90-year-old lesbians are hanging on the wall!

28. The government thinks about how to collect taxes reasonably, the boss thinks about how to avoid taxes reasonably, and I think about how to sleep reasonably!

29. It is at the dead of night that missing becomes so presumptuous.

30. A dinosaur went to the toilet when passing by Xi Jiaotong University. When she came out, she sobbed: 555, I finally don't have to worry about getting married in my life.

3 1, after reading the language of 10, it is better to talk about QQ for half a year.

32. It's not that the ending of the story is not good enough, but that we are too demanding of the story!

33. If something goes wrong, look for the reason from yourself first. Don't blame the earth for its lack of gravity when you are constipated.

Please don't take my tolerance for you on the spot as your shameless capital.

35. It's not difficult to be single, but it's difficult to deal with people who try their best to get you to end it.

36. Life is the mouth of Song Like Zude, and you never know who will be unlucky next ~ ~ ~

37, people have a plenty of background, and I only have a back ~ ~.

When we were young, we often made faces in the mirror. In old age, mirrors are flat.

Honey, I'm pregnant for three months, but don't worry, it's not yours and you're not responsible.

No one has stepped on my head since I turned into shit.

I knew you were Uber as soon as I opened my eyes.

42. Asking you how much you are worried is like a group of eunuchs going to a brothel.

43. Real good friends are not together with endless topics, but together, even if they don't talk, they won't feel embarrassed.

44. The ideal is full, but the reality is very skinny.

A tailor who doesn't want to be a cook is not a good driver.

46. Waiting for your concern until I close my heart.

47. Ask a colleague: Did you buy PetroChina? Colleague said: bah! You just bought PetroChina. Your whole family bought PetroChina and Sinopec!

If you are destined not to give me the expected response, then keep a safe distance.

49. After meeting me, you will suddenly find that handsome can be so single-minded!

50. When I was a child, I thought I could save the world when I grew up. When I grow up, I find that the whole world can't save me.

Ba Jin's 50 Classic Quotations

50 Classic Quotations of Ba Jin

1, ideal, yes, I see the ideal again. I'm not talking about cosmetics, empty talk, or a mantra that people talk about. Ideal is so vivid, visible and connected with our flesh and blood. It is the ocean, and I am like a drop of water; It is a mountain, and I am just a grain of sand. No matter how small I am, I can draw infinite strength from it.

2. Our life creed should be: act faithfully, love others warmly, help those who need love, and deal with those who destroy love; Seek personal happiness in the happiness of all, and seek personal freedom in the liberation of all.

3, because of love, know love, just know to love others, just want to do something for people other than yourself. It is this word of love that connects me with this society, which is the basis of my whole character.

I often compare life to water. This water flows down from the source of life and is always in turmoil. On the way to create it, it passes through the rubble of mountains in order to reach the only sea of life. Nothing can stop it. On its way, it also shoots all kinds of splashes, which are the love and hate, joy and pain of our life, all of which flow to the sea with the current. From childhood to death, each of us is moving in the same direction, which is the goal of life. Whether we get there or not, or we get lost halfway and look in the wrong direction.

5. This is not the case. Life is not a tragedy. This is a struggle. What are we living for? Or why do we have this kind of life? Roman? Roland's answer is "conquer it".

6. A few years ago, I finished reading Tolstoy's novel Resurrection with tears, and once wrote a sentence on the title page: "Life itself is a tragedy".

To tell the truth, I don't feel happy in front of the mirror, because the "respect" reflected in the mirror makes people worry: I don't care if I look good or not. What makes me uncomfortable is that it always reminds me that you are going to die. -Ba Jin's famous sentence

8. The soil of my hometown and the land of my motherland, I will always accept the sunshine and rain with you and grow with flowers, trees and seedlings. My only wish is to turn into dirt and stay in people's warm footprints.

9. I don't know where the lamp is, but it pulls my heart as if someone is leading the way.

10, life is about giving. I have a wish in my heart that no one knows: I hope everyone has a room to live in, every mouth has food to eat, and every heart is warm. I want to dry everyone's tears and not let anyone tear off another hair.

1 1. As a writer, I should meet readers with my works. I always leave something behind before I leave this world. I don't need a eulogy. I don't even want to hear good things about my urn.

12, now, my motto is: tell the truth as much as possible; Do as little as possible against your will.

13, I am very busy during the day, I run around, I laugh, I forget everything, I laugh, because I wear a mask. In the dark, I took off my mask and saw the end of the world. I lie down, I cry, I cry for my helplessness, I cry for seeing human suffering.

14. Having lived in the "bullpen" for ten years, I have the responsibility to expose that thrilling big scam so that future generations will no longer suffer disasters. I write, think and explore. The more you write, the more serious you feel.

15, at that time, I lived a lie in those years. I looked back at the road behind me and could tell how I came over these years. I stepped on so many lies, lies decorated with flowers.

16, everyone in China has the responsibility to build the motherland into a paradise on earth, but the unhealed scars are more severe and terrible than the so-called scar literature. We must face the reality and not be afraid of medical treatment.

17, the human body can be imprisoned, but the human heart cannot.

18. This water, this blessed water, will take him from his home where he has lived for eighteen years to an unknown city and an unknown crowd. He thought like this, and the vision in front of him fascinated his eyes, leaving him no time to mourn the life he left behind in the past 18 years. He lowered his eyes and looked back for the last time. He whispered "goodbye", still looking back at the green water flowing forward forever, without stopping for a moment.

19, a new feeling gradually caught him, and he didn't know whether it was happiness or sadness. But he clearly knew that he had left home. In front of him is the green water that is constantly connected. The water just keeps flowing forward and will take him to an unknown big city. Everything new grows there. There is a new movement, a large group of people, and a few enthusiastic young friends who have not met by letter.

20. What is the goal of life? It is a rich and overflowing life. One's life should radiate for others, and if necessary, one should sacrifice for others ... Self-sacrifice is human nature, just as plants must blossom.

2 1, that's not true. Life is not a tragedy. This is a struggle. What are we living for? Or why do we have this kind of life? Romain rolland's answer is "to conquer it".

I don't care if it looks good or not. What makes me uncomfortable is that it always reminds me that you are going to die.

As a writer, I should meet readers with my works. Before I leave this world, I must leave something behind. I don't need a eulogy. I don't even want to hear good things about my urn.

24. Now, my motto is: Tell the truth as much as possible; Do as little as possible against your will.

25. During the day, I am busy, I am busy, I laugh, I forget everything, I laugh, because I wear a mask ... In the dark, I take off my mask, I see the bottom of the world, I lie down, I cry, I cry for my helplessness, I cry for seeing human suffering.

26. At that time, I was just living in a lie for those years ... I looked back at the road behind me and could tell how I came over these years. I stepped on so many lies, lies decorated with flowers.

27. Everyone in China has the responsibility to build the motherland into a paradise on earth, but the unhealed wounds are worse than the so-called wound literature. 6. Be sure to face the reality and don't be afraid of the doctor.

28. In the masterpieces of many predecessors, I saw a power of love that no dark force could destroy. Always inspire readers to unite and struggle to create a better life. I remember Tolstoy's famous saying:' Everything that unites mankind is good and beautiful, and everything that divides mankind is evil and ugly.'

Whether it comes from the west or the east, it belongs to human beings, and everyone has the right to be influenced by it and benefit from it. Cultural exchanges between the East and the West are increasingly frequent, influencing and benefiting each other, and there will always be some changes. Even if there is a big cultural competition, don't be afraid of the danger of' you turn to me and I turn to you'.

30. I thank my French teacher, because I love truth, justice, the motherland, people, life and beautiful things in the world. This is the education I received from my French teacher.

3 1, she is a part of my life, and my tears and blood are in her ashes. When I lose my ability to work, I hope there will be those novels translated by Xiao Shan when I die. When I close my eyes forever, let my ashes mix with hers.

32. Looking back at the road behind you, you can still tell how you have come over these years. I stepped on so many lies, lies decorated with flowers.

33. I often feel that the party and society, friends and readers are too kind to me and have a sense of apology and responsibility for excessive debt. I always want to try my best to do something beneficial to the people. The government took care of me too much, and I really deserved it.

34. I am becoming more and more cautious and introverted. I don't want others to see my sincerity. I'm determined to use personality cult to get rid of distractions.

35. Before the arrival of the' Cultural Revolution', I was really in such a muddle. I used a mixed word, because I only talk empty words and don't do practical things. There are endless meetings, endless notes and endless manuscripts.

36. Creation needs creativity, especially what others have never said. If others have said a lot, we don't need to say any more.

37. Writing is hard work, and you must devote yourself wholeheartedly.

38. Turning people who love their jobs into yes-men is tantamount to damaging writers' independent thinking.

Only by being loyal to others can you become a judge of your own behavior.

As a writer, I should use my works to meet readers. Before I leave this world, I must leave something behind. I don't need a eulogy, and I don't want to hear others say that my urn is good.

4 1, now, my motto is: tell the truth as much as possible; Do as little as possible against your will.

42. At that time, I lived a lie in those years. Looking back at the road behind you, you can still tell how you have come over these years. I stepped on so many lies, a lie decorated with flowers, random notes, a collection of truth.

43. During the day, I am very busy. I run around and laugh. I forget everything and laugh because I wear a mask. In the darkness, I took off my mask, I saw the bottom of the world, I lay down, I cried, I cried for my helplessness, I cried for revenge for seeing human suffering.

Having lived in the cowshed for ten years, it is my duty to expose that thrilling big scam so that future generations will not suffer any more disasters. I write, think and explore. The more you write, the more serious you feel.

45. Everyone in China has the responsibility to build the motherland into a paradise on earth, but the unhealed scars are worse and more terrible than the so-called scar literature. We must face the reality and not talk to Yang Zhenning in 1980.

46. Ideals don't abandon people who pursue hard. As long as you don't stop pursuing, you will be bathed in the brilliance of your ideal. The power that governs a soldier's actions is faith. He can endure all difficulties and pains and achieve his chosen goals.

As a writer, I should use my works to meet readers. Before I leave this world, I must leave something behind. I don't need a eulogy, and I don't want to hear good things about my urn-Capricorn, big mirror.

48. Now, my motto is: Tell the truth as much as possible; Do as little as possible against one's will —— Random Thoughts Preface

49. During the day, I am very busy. I run around and laugh. I forget everything and laugh because I wear a mask ... In the dark, I take off my mask and see the end of the world. I lie down, I cry, I cry for my helplessness, I cry for seeing human suffering-revenge.

50. Having lived in the bullpen for ten years, I have the responsibility to expose that thrilling big scam so that future generations will not suffer from it again. I write, think, explore, and the more I write, the more serious I feel-random thoughts.

10 Classic Quotations about Football

10. Yan Shiduo: "There is football in the city and there is a game every month." "Only the venue, all counties can play football."

At the Football Association Congress in 2000, Yan Shiduo, President of the Football Association, put forward many new words. In his work report, he proposed to strive to achieve "there is football in the whole city, one game every month" and basically achieve "only the venue, all counties can play football".

Although this reflected the current situation of football in China at that time to some extent, this obviously planned and regional planning still vaguely reminded everyone of the Great Leap Forward era.

Background: Yan Shiduo made a surprising speech at the ancestral meeting.

Funny index: ★★

Classic index: ★★

9. Wang Po: "The national strength is not as good as that of Real Madrid. I must catch up with Real Madrid in management."

After entering Shaanxi's national strength, Wang Po's management was unanimously criticized by Shaanxi fans. At a forum with fans, Wang Po was impassioned: "I have been in the club for so long, and I think our players are all good players, and all responsibilities are loosely managed in the club. Without an iron discipline team, there is no fighting capacity. It can be said that national strength has always been the "weak force" of China football, which is related. As for the future, even if someone has opinions, I think I will continue to strengthen the management of the club. Do you know that?/You know what? My goal is to make the national strength like Real Madrid in management. "

BACKGROUND: Wang Po, the "sinner" of Shaanxi football, raved at the fan forum.

Funny index: ★★

Classic index: ★★★★☆.

8. schlappner: "If you don't know how to kick, kick it to the door."

Schlappner is the first foreign football coach in China, and China people call him "Uncle Shi". His hair also caused an uproar in CCTV Spring Festival Evening. During his teaching days in China, "Uncle Shi" also left many classic quotations. Once in training, "Uncle Shi" warned his disciples: "If you can't kick, kick in." At the same time, he likes to encourage the patriotism of China players-our China team will not bow to anyone except the elderly and children. However, after losing to Iraq and Yemen, China was eliminated and missed the World Cup in the United States, so schlappner stepped down from the altar and left class in a daze.

Background: schlappner taught the goal cheats before the World Cup in the United States.

Funny index: ★★★★

Classic index: ★★★★

7. Qi Wusheng: "I bear my responsibility, not the responsibility I can't bear."

1997 The national team that hit the top ten in the World Cup has always been regarded as the strongest national team in history, even surpassing Milu's national team. However, such a team was defeated by too many people from outside. Qi Wusheng's ears are too soft. In some games, fans can change whoever they want. After being defeated by Saudi Arabia in the last game, Qi Wusheng finally got up the courage to speak his mind: "It's my responsibility, not my responsibility. I can't bear it. " At the conclusion, China Football Association designated China as the "second-rate team in Asia", which caused controversy at that time. Many people think that the Football Association is shirking its responsibility. Now, there are such factors, but the positioning is quite accurate.

Background: Qi Wusheng spoke his mind after losing the World Cup in France.

Funny index: ★★★★

Classic index: ★★★★

6. Xu Genbao: "Vieira can't play football."

During 1995, Shenhua team recruited a group of French players for trial training. At that time, Xu Genbao, coach of Shenhua team, gave a conclusion immediately after watching a tall and thin midfielder running. "That foreign aid just now can't play football at all." A few years later, the player that Xu Genbao called unable to play football became the core player of Arsenal and even the French national team. He was the captain of the French national team and a world-class superstar, patrick vieira.

Background: Shenhua chose foreign aid Xu Genbao to evaluate Vieira.

Funny index: ★★★★

Classic index: ★★★★☆.

5. A Football Association leader: "We can lose to any strong European and American team, but we must not easily lose to any Asian team."

Just when China attacked the 20xx World Cup again, at a meeting of the Football Association, a leader generously said: "Our China team can lose to any strong European and American team, but it must not lose to any Asian team." As soon as this sentence came out, all major media and newspapers cheered for it, and the popular "chasing the United States and surpassing Britain" in the 1970s may spread all over Chinese mainland again. However, what is before us is the embarrassing result that China's national team missed the World Cup Asian Top Ten qualifiers twice in a row.

Background: A leader made a big speech before the World Cup in South Africa.

Funny index: ★★★★★

Classic index: ★★★★☆.

4. Yan Shiduo: "China Football has stood up since then!"

After getting rid of the shadow of Japan and South China, the Football Association gambled on the World Cup. After spending the legendary RMB 5 million, the 200 1 Top Ten Competition was finally lucky. Chairman Yan could not hide his excitement and delivered a "great man" speech. China men's soccer team stood up from now on! "However, China's performance in the World Cup is amazing, even the weakest Costa Rica can't beat it. It swallowed 9 eggs, but failed to score a point or a goal, and was beaten back to its original shape, which was disappointing! It can be seen that football diplomacy alone cannot fundamentally solve the problem! The World Cup is just a kind of enjoyment we get after XX. China football is still that virtue. From time to time, there will be a big news that surprises people and stimulates people's senses. Now, some people even joke about the national football team. The national football team has become a means of mass entertainment. I didn't expect the national football team to serve the people in this way.

Background: After the success of the World Cup, President Yan made a big speech.

Funny index: ★★★★★

Classic index: ★★★★★

3. Zhu: "This year is the Year of the Dog. My request for the national team is to play the Asian Cup and the Asian Games with the spirit of mad dog! Attack in an all-round way with the spirit of mad dog! "

On the fourth day of the first month of the Lunar New Year of the Dog, Zhu and his national team started the final sprint to prepare for the Asian Cup group match at Qingxin Base in Guangzhou. Zhu said: "This year is the Year of the Dog. My request for the national team is to play the Asian Cup and the Asian Games with the spirit of mad dog! Attack in an all-round way with the spirit of mad dog! " This is the first time that the "mad dog spirit" jumped out of Zhu's mouth. "We should have a clear understanding of the mad dog spirit. We saw more pet dogs, which was very interesting. Even a big dog, in the city, has become accustomed to a pampered life, and its fighting spirit and wildness have almost disappeared. Pulling such a dog out can only scare people, and it will definitely not fight. Since this year is the year of the dog, since I want to talk about dogs, then I agree with the spirit of mad dogs. "

"I said mad dog spirit, is not the same as a pet dog. It should be able to fight, not afraid of injury, not afraid of sacrifice, not afraid of the strength of the opponent. As long as you have a breath, you should also bite your opponent's perseverance and spirit, contain your opponent in momentum and overwhelm your opponent in courage. This spirit is exactly what the national team needs. Football in China is still relatively backward, and there are many opponents who are better than us. In many games, our ability and technology are not as good as our opponents, but if we lose our fighting spirit and spirit, then such a team is hopeless and such a game is meaningless. If this is a mad dog spirit, then I very much hope that all our national players have this spirit. When our national team came out, it was a mad dog array! " Zhu completely agrees with the word "mad dog", which he used to think was indecent.

As a result, dogs are not crazy, people are crazy!

Background: Zhu proposed mad dog spirit before preparing for the Asian Cup.

Funny index: ★★★★★★★

Classic index: ★★★★☆.

2. A Football Association official: "As long as 7-0, we can qualify."

Before the Sino-Hong Kong War of 5438+065438+1October 17 in June 2004, a Football Association official said after "carefully" calculating the goal difference: "As long as it is 7-0, we can qualify." As a result, the national team achieved this goal according to this fixed plan, and the Kuwaitis who are more proficient in Arabic numerals, with the help of Malaysia, made the 7-0 qualifying a laughing stock forever.

Background: 2004 1 1. 17 Before the Sino-Hong Kong War

Funny index: ★★★★★★★

Classic index: ★★★★☆.

1. Zhu: "Now the whole society is emphasizing the integrity between people. We represent China. Since the goal of entering the semi-finals has been put forward, it must be achieved, otherwise it will not deceive the society and the masses. "

Before the 20xx Asian Cup, Zhu was full of confidence in the face of the top four goals put forward by the Football Association. "Now the whole society is emphasizing the sincerity between people. We represent China. Since the goal of entering the top four has been put forward, it must be achieved, otherwise it will not deceive the society and deceive the masses? " As a result, China, the last runner-up, not only failed to achieve his goal, but also failed to qualify for the group, and the people were cheated again.

Background: In 20xx, Zhu was full of confidence when talking about the goals of the top four.

Funny index: ★★★★★★★

Classic index: ★★★★★☆.

10 Understanding the Classic Quotations of Life

1, you are very smart. Some people will say that you are preoccupied. You rely on hard work. Some people will say you are lucky. You said you were born optimistic. Some people will call you fake. Sometimes, you are obviously a glass of white water, but you are forced to become a full-bodied carbonated drink. People meet too many people in their life, even if some words are crucial, there is no need to live in their eyes. As long as your heart is clear, you will never have to please someone who doesn't understand you. Orson

2. In this life, people have to bear loneliness no matter where they go. The farther you go, the greater your loneliness. -Peng Pai

Whenever two people meet, it's actually six people. Those are my own eyes, my own eyes in the eyes of the other party, and my true self. laurence j.peter

True kindness and sense of responsibility are not precipitated in a long life. -Rizelin

Do you know what is the greatest weapon of mankind? Is the determination to throw caution to the wind Kotaro Isaka

You must accept that there are always sudden losses in this world. Spilled milk, lost wallet, lost lover, broken friendship ... When you can't do anything, the only thing you can do is try to make yourself feel better. If you lose everything, stop crying. -Gu Nai

7. When you are not strong enough and excellent enough, don't spend too much precious time socializing, spend more time reading and improve your professional skills. Give up those useless social contacts and improve yourself, and your world will be bigger.

8. Any relationship, once held too high, can't escape losing. -Fu Nan

9. It is impossible to forget what happened, but I just can't remember it. Spirited Away

10, what will happen in the future, I will not consider it at all. What's the point of life if you think about today and worry about tomorrow all day? Even if things can't get any worse, I think there is always a way to go. Maugham