However, does "establishing at thirty" mean "getting married and establishing a career"?

Confucius said in "The Analects of Confucius·Wei Zheng":

I have five out of ten, and I am determined to learn. At thirty you stand firm; at forty you are not confused; at fifty you know your destiny; at sixty your ears are attuned; at seventy you follow your heart's desires without exceeding the rules.

"Standing at thirty" is Confucius's self-evaluation of the state of life he reached at the age of 30.

In this sentence, the word "standing" in thirty, as well as the words "not confused", "knowing destiny", "listening to ears", "following one's heart and not exceeding the rules", all refer to the age at which a person is born. A certain state or realm to be achieved.

Confucius said: "If you don't learn etiquette, you can't stand up."

So, the ancient saying of "standing at thirty" is based on "ritual". Simply put, it is to establish the moral beliefs and external behavioral norms in the heart.

Times are changing. Today, two thousand years later, we follow the ancient precept "stand up at thirty". What should we "stand up" for?

01

Establish values

Be firm in your heart and not swing around

Hegel once proposed "positive, negative, combined "Theory corresponds to the three stages of life.

Before the teenage years, when you were young and had nothing to do, you thought everything was wonderful. This is the "positive" stage. In your 20s, when you enter society, the gap between your ideals and your ideals becomes wider and wider, and troubles, pressures, and setbacks follow one after another... People with limited knowledge and immature thoughts cannot give reasonable answers to questions, and they will show a kind of rebound. This is the "anti" stage. Around the age of 30, as age increases and experience deepens, one's own thoughts and values ??gradually form, and one's views on the world and life become increasingly more reasonable, comprehensive and objective. This is the "integration" stage.

At the age of 30, at this stage of "integration", we must first "establish" internally, establish our own values, strengthen our hearts, have our own value judgments and choices, and not swing around.

What kind of life we ??choose, what kind of path we take, we always have choices, likes and dislikes;

There will always be decisions about what we agree with and what we oppose, what we agree with and what we resist. There are certain standards.

This standard also comes from values.

At the age of thirty, it is impossible to be as ignorant as a teenager, nor as wavering as a teenager in his twenties. This is the so-called value orientation:

When dealing with the country and society, should we "don't worry about our own affairs", should we "care about everything about our family and the state, and the world's affairs", or should we "care about everything that matters to the country"?

When looking at the future of life, should we pursue wealth, honor and status, realize our dreams with great vigor, or live a plain and comfortable life?

When dealing with relationships and marriage, should we support each other and share joys and sorrows, should we treat each other with respect like guests and raise eyebrows together, or should we not miss the past and not pursue the past?

A person's values ??determine the person's value orientation, and the value orientation determines the person's way of thinking and behavior.

No matter how you treat society, yourself and your family, the actions you take come from the values ??you originally formed.

So, if you want to achieve something without doing anything in your life, you must strengthen your heart around the age of 30 and not swing around.

02

Establish a sense of responsibility

Face it calmly and have the courage to take responsibility

Maugham once said: "To make a person show In his nature, asking him to assume a certain responsibility is the most effective way.”

In today’s society, whether he is an employee at work or a husband at home, a man with a sense of responsibility and a responsible man is a responsible man. All have their own halo.

Wang Xiaobo said in "Standing at Thirty":

"On the shoulders of a thirty-year-old, he is no longer a person, but a man. , there is an old man in the middle, a wife in the middle, and a child in the middle."

Song Hongan, who was on the "Guizhou Good People List" last year, is such a "standing" man.

In 2002, Song Hongan's wife was pregnant with twins. One of them was stillborn in the fifth month of pregnancy, and the other was eventually diagnosed with cerebral palsy due to toxin infection and dystocia in the stillbirth.

Song Hongan, who works in the media, has to take care of his elderly parents on the one hand, comfort his wife in the grief of losing her son and the pain of his disabled child, and take good care of his disabled infant son.

At the same time, Song Hongan still does his job well.

This god-like man withstood all the pressure, buried all the pain and hurt in his heart, and used his sunshine, optimism, responsibility and responsibility to support his parents, wife and children. sky.

Song Hong'an often laughed at himself and said that his life motto was "three hearts and two righteousnesses":

Filial piety, loyalty, love, affection and faith.

That’s what he said, and that’s what he did. This sentence should also become everyone’s life motto.

A man who supports a family is an upright man. In fact, the back of a thirty-year-old man is his responsibility:

Let his children see the most beautiful morning glow,

Let his wife see the warmest sunshine at noon,

Let yourself see the path you want to take.

03

Establish the direction of life

Resolutely choose and never forget the original intention

Some people say that the most difficult path in life is the path of the heart. It is difficult not to forget your original intention, but it is even harder to stick to your original intention.

The Buddha said: "It doesn't matter where we come from, what matters is where we are going."

The Buddha also said: "The most important thing in life is not where you stand. , but the direction you are heading in. As long as you don’t lose your direction, you will never lose yourself.”

What is the direction of life?

There is a famous saying in Homer's epic poem "The Odyssey":

"There is nothing more intolerable than wandering aimlessly."

The so-called The direction of life is the ideal and goal of life, determining what you need to do to achieve your goal, where to go, and how to go.

Wang Anshi has been smart since he was a child and has a photographic memory. He traveled with his father to various places since he was a child, and witnessed the hardships of people's lives. In his "thirties", he set up the ambition to "rectify the world and change the customs". He persisted in "reform" throughout his life and ruled the world.

Xu Xiake determined to travel all over the world. After more than thirty years of arduous journey, he traveled all over the mountains and rivers of the motherland with his feet, "mastering what others have not reached, and exploring what others are unknown", and finally became a master.

The road to dreams is always full of thorns and ups and downs. Tiredness and confusion are inevitable. Some people choose to compromise with reality and go with the flow;

Some people lose themselves along the way. Hesitating;

But there are also some people who will still not forget their original aspirations and keep moving forward in the direction of their hearts.

Wang Guozhen said that since he has chosen a distant place, he only cares about the journey through wind and rain.

Thirty years old is a watershed in life. At this age, you must establish your own life development direction and determine a life path.

There is such a couplet on Mount Tai: "When the sea reaches the end, the sky is the shore; when the mountain reaches the top, I am the peak."

This is a kind of admiration the ancients had for mountains and rivers. This sentence is not about conquering mountains and rivers, but the pursuit of self-improvement. Once you reach the top of the mountain, you are just another peak on the top of the mountain.

This is how life is, the mountains you have to climb are yourself.

Dugar said: "Life is an endless desire, the desire to keep rising, to become greater and noble."

A thirty-year-old life has a bright future. Endless possibilities.

At this young and mature age, only by "establishing" responsibility, direction, and values ??can we live a good life.

In the beginning, human beings are inherently good. They don’t look at others for themselves, but only for others.