The so-called frustration refers to a negative emotional state in which an individual's needs are not met due to obstacles and interference when engaging in purposeful activities. This is a common social and psychological phenomenon.
The frustration encountered by teenagers is mainly manifested in learning and emotion. Because learning activities are the main activities of students on campus, everyone encounters more setbacks in their studies than in other aspects. Learning mainly includes unsatisfactory test scores and unsatisfactory learning; Emotional aspects include not being able to properly handle various relationships with parents, teachers and classmates, not being understood, hurting self-esteem and so on.
In life, setbacks are inevitable. In the face of setbacks, different people have completely different understandings and attitudes towards the same setback:
One kind is people who treat setbacks negatively: they either think that setbacks should not happen to themselves and lack ideological understanding and psychological preparation for setbacks, so they will have bad psychological and behavioral reactions when they encounter setbacks; Or deny the whole self with some kind of frustration, and once you fail in the exam, you think you are not the material for reading, which often leads to strong emotional reactions and even self-abandonment; Or imagine the consequences of setbacks are terrible. If something is not done well, you are worried that people around you will look down on themselves and lose confidence. Around us, we often see such a phenomenon: some students are out of balance and depressed because they failed in an exam; Some students are worried about small contradictions and small grievances; Some students are criticized a little by their parents and teachers, and they will have rebellious mentality and lack the courage to face mistakes. These are all manifestations of immature and unhealthy heart, which is very harmful to your growth. Some experts pointed out that at least 250,000 people in China lose their lives due to psychological problems every year, and suicide has become the leading cause of death among teenagers. Some teenagers' poor tolerance for setbacks is the main reason for their psychological problems.
The other is people who have a positive and correct understanding of setbacks. When they encounter setbacks, they will calmly adjust their motivation, goal pursuit and behavior, think that setbacks can enhance their willpower, compare minor setbacks to "spiritual supplement", regard setbacks as the driving force for progress, and finally achieve amazing achievements. There are countless similar cases in ancient and modern China and abroad. Sun Bin was flogged, led troops with the art of war, and Sima Qian was corrupt and wrote history books. Gou Jian, the king of Yue, wanted to destroy Wu; Red Army soldiers chewed bark and ate grass roots, and traveled 25,000 miles to win. Deng Xiaoping became the chief architect of reform and opening up; Helen Keller in the United States and Zhang Haidi in China are disabled, but they fight against the disease with tenacious perseverance. They not only learn many languages, but also become famous writers.
Therefore, the only way we should take is to treat setbacks correctly, face them positively and handle them properly.
We should have a normal mind and look at the ebb and flow of the tide calmly. No matter how big the setback is, you can't give up on yourself. As Napoleon said, there is no word failure in my life dictionary. Believing in yourself is the key to success. We should stand tall and face all difficulties and setbacks with the mentality of "the tiger is left behind, the color remains unchanged, Mount Tai runs ahead, and the soul does not shake".
We can't expect too much, we should treat ourselves correctly. Too many expectations, in the case of difficult to meet, often lead to more disappointment. We just need to do our job well within our power. Don't complain that others don't value yourself, and don't sigh that you don't have good luck. Complaining about others often leads people astray, while self-pity makes people wonder whether they are blessed or not. This will lose more opportunities and make life more difficult.
We can't be greedy, and always remember that contentment is always happy. If not handled properly, desire will overcome reason and soon become the dominant factor in life. Catch a word and you will live a good life.
We should have a tolerant heart, a big belly and tolerate what the world can accommodate. Maybe it's not a world event, but also the little things around us. We had an argument with our classmates. What we should do is not to ignore them, but to reflect on ourselves immediately. You will find that it is our fault. Even if you are not wrong, you can give him (her) a tolerant smile and let him (her) have a step down. He (she) will not only appreciate your tolerance, but also have a good relationship with you when you go to the next level.
We should not be selfish and haggle over every ounce. There are gains and losses in life, so there is no need to force them. Be swayed by considerations of gain and loss will only be the trouble of life. People always lose something at the same time and get something else at the same time. Loss and gain are always balanced.
When we encounter setbacks, we can turn them into wealth in the following ways:
(1) Maintain a confident and optimistic attitude, and realize that it is setbacks and lessons that make us gradually smart and mature, and it is failure that leads to success.
(2) calmly analyze the setbacks from the objective environment and subjective conditions, find out the reasons and take effective remedial measures.
(3) Learn to comfort yourself, tolerate setbacks, be optimistic and open-minded, and strive for success with confidence.
(4) learn to speak. You can choose the right person to talk about your unhappiness and change your depressed state, so as to relax and look forward to the future.
(5) learn to compensate. If the original expected goal is frustrated, we can change other ways to achieve it, or redesign and change new goals to achieve new victories, that is, "losing the corner and taking Sang Yu."
(6) learn to sublimate. People should strive to make progress after being frustrated, and transfer their emotions and energy to beneficial activities, so as to sublimate to a height beneficial to society.
(7) Learn to turn pressure into motivation. When you encounter setbacks and failures or are about to encounter setbacks and failures, you will face great external psychological pressure. Like many celebrities and great men, you should not bow down and be discouraged in the face of setbacks and failures. Instead, you should bravely face all this with an optimistic attitude, tenacious perseverance and tenacious quality, and be good at turning pressure into motivation and rising from adversity.
Students, please remember this sentence: "Life is a mirror. If you smile at it, it will smile back at you; " If you cry at it, it will cry at you. Suffering and frustration are the teachers of life. "The height of dreams is directly proportional to the degree of pain." Suffering is a stepping stone to genius, the wealth of the strong and the abyss of the weak. "Efforts are not necessarily successful, and giving up is doomed to failure. Old Bing Xin also said, "People only marvel at its brilliance as a successful flower! However, at the beginning, its bud was soaked with tears of struggle and shed blood rain of sacrifice. "All these words tell us that we can't collapse in the face of difficulties, setbacks and misfortunes. What we need is to keep a good attitude, grasp our own destiny, establish firm beliefs and find the right direction in life.
Students, please believe that the failures and setbacks in your life are temporary, and the troubles and sorrows are only temporary, as long as you are not affected by them! Don't be intimidated by them, the other side of success lies ahead! We should not be small trees growing under green trees, but rather Jinsong standing proudly in the wind and rain. Shouldn't we be shivering penguins hiding under rocks? But to be a petrel that is not afraid of the wind and rain and flies with its wings. How can a life without suffering shine? We are not geniuses, but we must not be weak. As long as we take every step in a down-to-earth manner, learn every course carefully and do everything well, we will be strong in life.
Students, the road of life is bumpy, full of setbacks and bumps. Please face it bravely. In the face of difficulties, you can complain, hate and even be angry. But please don't run away, let alone back down. Because although we avoid temporary pain, we have to pay long-term inner torture for it. In fact, it is not a bad thing to experience some setbacks and misfortunes, it is just a good exercise opportunity; It is impossible to form a strong will without difficulties or dare to meet difficult challenges. On the road of our growth, there are smooth roads and bumps; There are flowers and thorns. Please regard setbacks as your wealth and a good medicine for success. In the face of setbacks, smile calmly and stride forward! Only by overcoming setbacks can we make progress in our studies, have more joy in our lives and have a brighter future!
Finally, encourage everyone with a poem "Love Life":
When I am forgotten in the corner again and again, I can't find the dark exit. When I thought my life was coming to an end, my heart was still struggling to warn me: love life.
When I was still in the fog, unable to grasp the direction of life, and felt that my future was like a boat in the Wang Yang, the hand holding the sail still warned me: Love life.
When my behavior is not understood by the people around me, my explanation is as weak as the east wind. I thought I would be abandoned by the world, but my firm steps still tell me: love life.
When the hardships of life have sprung up like mushrooms after rain, and even pushed me to the corner of life again and again, making me feel suffocated and even attached, my spirit still shines like sunshine: I love life.
When the devil of disease is always pestering the miserable life and sucking up the power of life, I feel my body falling like autumn leaves. My unyielding character grabs the tail of life and shouts: Love life.
Perhaps my future is snow lotus immersed in a hundred years of ice, and it will always be an unattainable beauty to watch. Maybe my life is just a narrow intestine crawling in thorns forever. Please believe that I will still be persistent in cheering and singing for life!
Maybe my life is like a beggar, maybe my life is still lonely at the end, and I will still raise my glass to the warm life course for the pursuit!
Friends, love life. Maybe he always gives us much less than we think. Maybe his unfair balance is always biased towards other people's branches. We still have to thank the sunshine of life and those days when we struggled for suffering. Only by savoring the various flavors of life can we feel the beauty of life and the difficulty of life. Please remember that at all times, we must be firm:
Love life and believe in yourself!