This is a new book, which was first published in July 20 19 and belongs to popular psychology. The author is a famous Japanese social psychologist Tetsuo Kato, born in 1938. He hasn't read the relevant works before, so he doesn't dare to comment. He only makes a personal interpretation of this book.
I bought a copy of Karen Horney's Inner Conflict before, because it was too much for me to understand professionally, so I put it aside. When I saw this book "Reconciliation of Inner Conflicts", I finished it without thinking. On the one hand, it looks more practical and should be easier to understand. On the other hand, I think the comparison between the two may help me to understand the inner conflict more deeply.
The fact is, this book is really easy to understand.
Structurally, the total score is total, the preface and postscript summarize the core of the book, and the relationship between the five chapters and the sections is also progressive. Each part is presented in a way similar to explanation, discussion or prose, and the title of each part is the main idea or viewpoint discussed in that part.
This is not easy to understand. Many technical terms in the book are similar to neurosis, realistic pain and psychological pain, self-defense, productive structure and unproductive structure, denial of reality, lack of motivation and growth motivation, and so on. Several other famous psychologists are cited for parallel discussion and explanation, but there is no in-depth explanation, which is similar to point to point. After all, psychology is an extremely complicated subject, and the purpose of this book is to explore people's inner conflicts, explore many problems in life from an objective perspective, interpret emotional dilemmas, and teach readers the way to survive and think.
It is mentioned in the postscript:
Contradictions (conflicts) in human existence:
Reason and sensibility, ideal and reality, conscience and instinctive impulse, good and evil, divinity and beast, pursuit of adventure and practicality, pursuit of independence and protection and dependence, choice of retrogression desire (temporary relaxation and security) and choice of growth desire (in the face of inevitable suffering) and so on.
Humans will lose themselves, go against their true wishes, live in other people's world, escape from suffering, but pursue happiness-try to get it without making corresponding efforts (for example, if you don't want to exercise, you can't help eating cake and want to lose weight).
The famous psychologist Adler's famous saying "Suffering leads to growth and redemption" almost runs through the article.
"If you can't be yourself, you might as well be a demon." People's pain often lies in giving up their true self, violating their true nature and living a false life. For example, I am afraid of being rejected by others, afraid of being hurt, afraid of expressing myself truly, or afraid of being rejected and hurt.
In the face of real pain,
In the face of trouble and pain,
It is painful to admit the truth, accept your own reality, and admit that you are disappointed in yourself, but only by facing the problems that make you uneasy, facing, admitting, accepting and recognizing this, can suffering find an outlet for solution and realize self-growth and redemption.
The inspiration for this book:
I have always thought that I am an inferiority complex, prone to self-denial, unable to think passively, accustomed to obedience, afraid to express, and not good at expressing. Through this book, I realized that I am a safety-oriented person. I am afraid of being judged by others, but I live in the eyes of others. I chose to shrink back and avoid growing up. For example, I have never been in love so far, and I am afraid of getting hurt. The first thing to consider is my inner safety bottom line. If I take risks, I will shrink back and be afraid of failure, so I refuse to start. So although both physically and socially have grown up, the psychology has not really grown up.
This book taught me how to think and how not to live in other people's evaluation-change my position and observe others; For example, when you are fidgeting and fidgeting every day, you should think, "Why are you in pain? Why are you in a mess?" Why is this happening? What I don't realize now, what are the symptoms of my subconscious problems? "Wait, think more about why, know the problem, seek a solution, not complain. The problem itself is not a problem, but a person's attitude towards it.
"People's confidence does not come from doing earth-shattering things. No matter how small things are, as long as they are done by themselves, they can increase their confidence, and even trivial things can be done. "
The more you face up to your inner entanglement and try to solve it, the easier it is to gain inner freedom and strength. Karen Horney
Reconciliation with inner conflicts is not methodology, nor chicken soup, but real problem discovery and understanding. If you are confused about yourself or life, please read it. It won't solve the problem, but it will definitely make you aware of some problems. Many examples are very common in real life-the winners in life in the eyes of others are not necessarily happy, but the unfortunate people in the eyes of others have not left the people or environment that make them unhappy, and so on.