1. The words and deeds of others may be related to our feelings, but they are not the cause of our feelings. Feelings are rooted in our own needs—the third element of nonviolent communication. When we hear unpleasant words, we have four choices: 1) blame ourselves; 2) blame others; 3) appreciate our own feelings and needs; 4) appreciate the feelings and needs of others.

2. Accusations, criticisms, comments, and analyzes of others reflect our needs and values. If we make a claim through criticism, people often respond by defending or pushing back. On the other hand, if we state our needs directly, others are more likely to respond positively.

3. Social culture does not encourage us to reveal our personal needs. This is especially true for women. Because their image is often associated with selfless dedication - this is what society expects of women.

4. For most people, personal growth generally goes through three stages: (1) "Slave to emotion" - we think we have an obligation to make others happy; (2) "Hateful appearance" ” period – when we refuse to consider the feelings and needs of others; 3) “Master of Life” – when we realize that while we are fully responsible for our own wishes, feelings and actions, we cannot be responsible for others . At the same time, we also recognize that we cannot meet our own needs at the expense of others.