An ancient saying goes: A kind word warms you for three winters, but a bad word hurts you for six months.

Some people’s words make others feel welcome; while others keep others at a distance. Especially hurtful and sharp words, once they leave a knot in someone's heart, it is difficult to completely eliminate them.

Therefore, we must master the art of speaking, learn to speak less and be more conversational, and do not let words become the fuse of the relationship, but the lubricant that upgrades the relationship.

Talking less is education

"The Book of Changes" once mentioned: "A good person has few words, and a dry person has many words."

It means that an auspicious person speaks very little because he is calm and can assess the situation before speaking. However, an agitated person is different and must seize every minute and every second to speak non-stop. The mind becomes more stable.

It can be seen that the more words you say, the better. The four words "disaster comes from your mouth" are quite effective in some cases. Regardless of the person or the occasion, just letting your own temper speak freely will appear to you to be straightforward, but to others it will appear to be mean. Talking too much often does a lot of harm but no good.

My friend Xiaoxiao is a living example. He often says too many wrong things, causing embarrassing situations.

I remember at a party, a friend talked about her son and said that her son did not perform well in the entrance examination and was unable to enter a good high school in the city. Everyone was busy comforting her, saying that it was a blessing in disguise. Failure this time might be a test from God, and good luck was yet to come.

However, Xiaoxiao just rubbed salt into others' hearts and said: "My son is different. I don't even have to teach him. He relies on his own intelligence and studiousness to pass the key exams easily." High school, let me tell you..."

Then he talked about his son in a long way, completely ignoring the other friend's face, and everyone else present was also embarrassed. If that didn't work, I had to quickly smooth things over and end the topic.

Later, every time Xiaoxiao asked us out, we all said in unison that we had something to do and that we would make an appointment next time. In fact, we were afraid that there would be an embarrassing situation again, so as not to be unable to cope with it.

Growing up, our parents always warned us that if we talk too much, we will make mistakes. When we don’t know what to say and know that there are some words that should not be said, choosing to remain silent is a kind of wisdom in life. Because being cautious in words and deeds, knowing people without judging them, is the highest education.

Being able to speak is a cultivation

Being able to speak less is the basic cultivation of how we behave, while being able to speak is a cultivation that comes from reading more and experiencing life.

You will find that a person who can talk often makes a very comfortable impression on others.

In times of embarrassment, I will help you out tactfully;

In embarrassing situations, I will resolve the crisis with humor;

When there is a dispute, I will know how to give advice. The other party should be tolerant and stick to their bottom line tactfully.

It is precisely because of these generous and well-spoken people that our interactions with others can be so harmonious, interesting and warm.

Just like Huang Bo, he is a well-known actor in the entertainment industry with high emotional intelligence and good talking skills.

On a program where Lu Yu had an appointment, Lu Yu asked him: "Do you think you are very popular now?"

Ordinary people might be embarrassed and quickly smile and say no. , he was afraid that others would say he was hype, but Huang Bo was different. He laughed heartily and said proudly: "That's not true. You can come to "A Date with Luyu", how can it not be popular?"

In one sentence, he did not belittle himself, but also praised the program, which made people admire his art of speaking from the bottom of their hearts. This may be the reason why Huang Bo has been popular in the impetuous entertainment industry for so long.

Being able to speak is not a momentary need, but a lifelong need to learn wisdom.

It is not only a perfect tool for you to handle various occasions, but also a bridge between people, allowing you to gain more popularity and opportunities externally, and gain more happiness internally. family.

Of course, becoming a social expert with high emotional intelligence and good conversational skills cannot be learned overnight. Often times, we may be so busy looking for ways to improve our speaking skills that we forget that there are other ways we can.

Reading is a good way. Reading more can cultivate your mind, enrich your experience, improve your cognition, and have the ability to speak from the perspective of others, thereby mastering speaking skills and communication skills.

High emotional intelligence is not a momentary need, but a lifelong wisdom that needs to be learned. If you also want to improve yourself and become a person with high emotional intelligence, good speech, and a sense of style, then I recommend you to join the 180-day reading plan of Jianzhi Elite Academy and study with me.

Jianzhi Elite Academy has carefully selected 26 books from thousands of books, including "Speak Well", "How to Lead a Team if You Don't Know How to Talk", "Masters", "Advantageous Negotiation", etc. The essence of this good book is tailor-made to enhance your personal charm, master the way of speaking, and make you a mature man with vision and structure.