There is a rave review on Douban:

Jung said: there is no awakening without pain. This book can be said to be an excellent interpretation of this sentence.

This book enjoys a high status in Britain. It is one of the introductory books of national psychological counseling in Britain, and it is also the classic masterpiece of the famous psychologist Robert D 'Urberville.

Toad, the hero of this book, was originally enthusiastic and lively, but now he has become unhappy and listless.

At the suggestion of three good friends, he sought the advice of Helen's psychologist. After 10 psychological counseling, he found himself and found his confidence and happiness.

0 1 Childhood pain takes a lifetime to heal.

Mr. Toad is a man who grew up in a rich family. His grandfather and father are both famous and powerful local chaebol businessmen. After his father died, Mr. Toad inherited the family manor and estate.

Superior material life, in the eyes of many people, Mr. toad deserves to live a very happy life. But in fact, toad lives a very painful and depressed life.

He is afraid of contact with people. He is not interested in anything. He often feels empty in his heart and inexplicably feels sad and sad. He doesn't know what's wrong with him.

When his friends mouse, mole and badger find him, he will be very embarrassed and feel that he is dragging them down and worrying them.

When the mouse asked him to see a psychologist Heron, he resisted, but he couldn't refuse his friend's kindness, so he had to see a psychologist.

Toad's sense of low value and ingratiating personality are influenced by his family background.

Grandfather and father are people with strong enterprising spirit. They are powerful, strict with their subordinates and strict with their families. All the toads feel is authority and fear.

Mother is weak and dependent on her father. Although she is very kind to toad, she dare not show too much love to toad, and she is hot and cold to toad. ...

Toad, who grew up in such a family, lacks self-confidence and security, and often feels that life is boring and hopeless; Faced with some tough rats and badgers, you can't help but please and give in.

The famous psychologist Adler once said:

"Happy people use their childhood to cure their whole lives, while unfortunate people use their whole lives to cure their childhood."

The misfortune of being born in a family needs toad to explore and break through.

It is better to face it bravely than to run away from it.

Mr. Toad reluctantly went to see the psychologist Heron for the first time.

Through the guidance of Dr. Heron, Mr. Toad realized that only with active cooperation and participation can he accomplish what he wants, and others can't help him at all.

In the second consultation, when Mr. Toad was asked "How are you feeling today", Mr. Toad used to say "Fine, thanks".

He dare not answer his true feelings, dare not face up to his heart, and be afraid of being criticized.

In fact, he was depressed, self-blaming and sad. He thinks the life of mice, moles and badgers is good, but his life is a mess.

It turns out that Mr. Toad robbed someone else's car and was taken to prison. When he finally got out of prison, he heard that his manor was occupied by a vicious weasel. He was sad, but there was nothing he could do.

What saddens him most is that his father would rather tell Badger the secret way to the manor than tell him.

Finally, with the help of the badger, Mr. Toad regained the manor, but he was not happy.

He can't face himself who is weak, helpless and laughed at.

At the third consultation, under the guidance of Dr. Heron, Mr. Toad began to recall and explore his childhood.

In the fourth consultation, Mr. Toad realized that his childhood was very unhappy and he had been living in his father's criticism and accusation, which made him very depressed and angry.

In the fifth consultation, toad no longer waited for Mr. Heron's theme, but actively analyzed his anger. He realized that he had cast the shadow of his youth on his father and on the badger who was equally uncompromising and dignified.

Moral preaching to Bajie, criticizing him for not being addicted to playing with cars, is ostensibly a mistake, but in fact it is unacceptable.

At the sixth consultation, Mr toad directly expressed his bad state to Dr Heron. He was angry that Badger wanted to take his place as a director, and he was afraid and worried about this behavior.

In these six consultations, Mr. Toad no longer escaped from reality, but gradually faced his own heart and explored his true self, and the whole person changed.

When eating with friends, he became patient and listened carefully, and stopped interrupting casually; When you see the Excellence of your friends, you can really appreciate them and stop selling yourself short. In the face of badgers and mice, which he has always been afraid of, he no longer blindly follows and dares to express his views. ...

As Franklin said:

"If disaster does not appear, then fear is futile; If a disaster has happened, then fear will only increase the pain. "

Since escape is inevitable and useless, it is better to fight face to face, and fear and misfortune will naturally be scared away.

Accept yourself and be yourself.

In the seventh consultation, Dr. Heron described three models: children's self-state, parents' self-state and adults' self-state.

Children's self-state refers to a person who puts himself in a weak position and the victim's psychology. In the face of unfair and unreasonable treatment, he dares to be angry and dare not speak, and is often in a state of self-blame and guilt.

Parents' self-state means that a person is a good teacher, often evaluates others by his own standards, and often criticizes others from the moral high ground.

Adult's self-state refers to accepting the original self, being good at contacting things, finding the root of things, and forming a set of stable self-beliefs.

A man called a taxi to catch a plane. In the face of the driver's delay, people in the child's self-state will blame themselves for not choosing a driver earlier.

People whose parents are in a state of self will feel that this driver is inefficient and unreliable, and they should complain about the driver.

Adults who are in their own state will urge drivers to find alternative ways to solve problems.

After 10 psychological counseling, toad was reborn. By trying to find a way, he regained the position of the school board, sold the manor according to his own wishes, joined the local amateur drama club to act, and gained real confidence and happiness.

As Mix said in "super speaker"

"Because of the reality and the doubts around us, we may even feel inferior because we meet more successful people. This terrible emotion will make us ask ourselves again and again: can I do it?

But in fact, why should we rush to be a supporting role in other people's lives; Why do we always want to recreate the success of others?

Because each of us is the most special existence in the world like palmprint, we should be extremely proud of our uniqueness! "

We don't need to be others, as long as we do ourselves well and make unremitting efforts, we can also create our own miracles.

04 Lu Xiaoman said in "Advancing with the Times":

"There is no one in this world who is not injured. At any time, you must believe that only you can really cure yourself. "

Everyone is suffering, and everyone bears a heavy burden. You can't help me and I can't save you.

It is better to bite your teeth, endure the pain, cut open the carrion layer by layer and heal yourself than to seek shelter from others.

If you are depressed now, often feel lonely and sad, and sometimes have a low sense of self-worth, you might as well read Mr. Toad Looking for a Psychologist.

In the Book of Learning, Mr. Toad constantly explores himself and looks for ways to relax and heal himself.

May you and I live a real life, no matter how many storms there are in life.