Miracle: Very good news
Private: Breaking news.
Qizhi: My sister is getting married. I'm overjoyed.
Soldier: My grandmother died. We share the same happiness.
Qizhi: We have already sent out an invitation at the village radio station.
Private: My radio station plays funeral music all day.
Qizhi: Villagers (accompanied by soldiers' sorrows and joys)! Villagers! On this big day, my sister and
My brother-in-law died unfortunately. Also attending the memorial service were the village chief and the director of women-stop!
Who died, who died, you
Soldier: I seem to have heard that your sister and brother-in-law died unfortunately.
Qizhi: I asked you to make trouble with your sorrows and sorrows. (Aile) You almost killed the village chief to biang.
Soldier: You are a bully.
Qizhi: I'm here to give good news.
Soldier: If you get married, I will kill my people.
Qizhi: No, you dead people don't mix with me.
Private: It's my fault for catching up with these two things.
Qizhi: Look at this.
Private: Don't get me wrong. We are villagers in the same village (ahhh).
Qizhi: I have some money in my hand these two years.
Private: I have made a fortune in the past two years.
Qizhi: This man has to compare everything with me.
Soldier: I can't be three points shorter than others in anything.
Qizhi: You said my sister got married for the first time?
Soldier: Have you compared my grandmother's first death?
Qizhi: Is there a second meeting here?
Private: Isn't it better than the scene?
Qizhi: You can't compare with me at the scene.
Private: That's not true.
Qizhi: In order to let my sister and brother-in-law get married and never divorce, I spent 50,000 yuan to order a song for them on TV.
Private: 50,000 yuan for a song.
Wonder: Titanic theme song? I let him broadcast it for half a year. The director agreed and pushed back the broadcast time.
Soldier: When?
Curiosity: 2: 30 p.m.
Soldier: That will change the sound of chickens crowing in the middle of the night.
Qizhi: After the broadcast, there are only three words left on TV.
Soldier: Goodbye.
Qizhi: Good morning.
Soldier: You can't compare with me.
Qizhi: What's the matter with you?
Private: To show my filial piety (ah), I took 654.38 million yuan and published it in the newspaper for a month.
Qizhi: 50,000 more than me
Private: There is a huge portrait of my grandmother on it.
Qizhi: Why didn't I see it?
Private: I didn't even see it.
Qizhi: Where did you go?
Soldier: Finally, I found the word (ah) camel at the bottom of the eighth edition. He posted it for me.
Qizhi: You also have a huge photo.
Soldier: I know. This is a portrait of my grandmother.
Qizhi: I don't know?
Private: I thought it was an anti-counterfeiting sign.
Qizhi: It has become a patented product.
Soldier: I don't care. What about the money you owe me? ) I registered for half a month and didn't give him money.
Qizhi: You are not as good as me.
Private: How's it going?
Qizhi: 50,000 yuan only gave him 500 yuan.
Soldier: I admire your meanness. You are the first.
Qizhi: I admire you too. You smoke 250 (ah)
Curiosity: sheer stupidity
Soldier: I was cheated (? )
Qizhi: The villagers came to the east end of our village.
Private: villagers come to the west end of our village.
Qizhi: There is a wedding in the east of our village.
Soldier: We are at the memorial service.
Qizhi: We are very busy here.
Private: Our side * * *
Qizhi: We are lucky here.
Soldier: We are very happy here.
Qizhi: Let's come here.
Private: We are here.
Qizhi: We have a bath and * * *
Soldier: We have karaoke here.
Strange story: We have folk dances here.
Soldier: We have striptease here.
Qizhi: Huh? What's wrong with us soliciting?
Private: one more person and one more penny.
Qizhi: We have set up eight cauldrons here.
Soldier: We built ten big stoves here.
Qizhi: We? Yes, we are cooking.
Private: Huh? I don't know. I thought we were going to make steel again.
Qizhi: We invited 80 chefs. Can we compete? Hmm. How interesting
Private: We invited 120 ladies.
Qizhi: Huh? ? What kind of woman do you want after you die?
Soldier: Who told you to hire so many cooks?
Qizhi: My chef takes turns cooking, and I stay as a security guard. I'm afraid I'll lose two motorcycles and a pressure cooker if I lose something.
Soldier: My young lady is playing with everyone. No young lady wants to come now. It seems crowded.
Curiosity: the dead depend on ...)
Qizhi: We received many gifts here.
Private: We charge a high fee for this account. )
Qizhi: Where are we? Nothing else? We have collected half of Mrs. Guang's oral liquid? Taking a bath in our house now? Just take a bath with oral liquid, madam? Make up? Bath water is also replenished (? )
Soldier: Not as good as me? There are so many blankets, what can I do? Finally, * * * crisp a dollar I wholesale? Crush six skulls on the spot (are you kidding)? How many?
Qizhi: We have received 15 color TV.
Soldier: We collected 20 urns.
Qizhi: You accept everything. You accept this, too
Soldier: Why do you collect so many color TVs?
Qizhi: My color TV? I have a color TV in my room and the biggest color TV in the toilet? I sing karaoke while I go to the bathroom? This is called singing in a private room.
Private: Haha? Singing toilet? My 20 urns (ah, 20 urns) were all prepared by my family.
(It's scary) The last four extra ones are really unwanted. A: What should I do? ) I took them out for money.
Qizhi: Do you have this thing for money?
Soldier: That's insurance (hmm)? What thief dares to steal the urn?
Qizhi: We have supper here.
Soldier: We have food here.
Qizhi: We have North and South dishes here.
Soldier: We have raw seafood here.
Flag: Our Man-Han Banquet
Private: We have diarrhea here.
Qizhi: Where are we? It's bad, it's bad, I tell you.
Qizhi: We can drink this good wine at will.
Soldier: We can smoke freely here.
Qizhi: Are we drinking good wine here? Burp? Wow? Become a fountain
Soldier: We smoke like this here.
Qizhi: Smoke less? What about convulsions, you
Private: Great.
Qizhi: Do we have any souvenirs here? When we left, it was time for us to bring such a big live water fish, and each of us sent a pot to take the water fish home. Singing: Sister Yang Qizhi got married and took the tortoise home. How interesting!
Soldier: Why don't I (ah) send a photo to everyone here?
Curious: Who got the photo?
Private: my grandmother's.
Qizhi: Who dares to take this portrait?
Private: The portrait is on the front.
Qizhi: What about the opposite side?
Private: Sexy star Madonna? Compare it? compare
Qizhi: Are we trying to set off the atmosphere? Invited 20 professional comedians.
Soldier: We have 30 people crying here.
Qizhi: Let me tell you an interesting story about our major: Does the wedding ceremony begin now? Laugh for three hours at a stretch.
Soldier: As soon as we said the memorial service began, they cried. Anyway, I cried for five hours before I gave the money.
Qizhi: Are we laughing here? Laughing and crying? They said it was not easy for us to earn so little money, and our faces cramped with laughter.
Soldier: We cried and cried here. (Ah) They said that none of us really cried.
Qizhi: The two teams meet at the entrance to the village.
Private: This is a mess.
Qizhi: Tell us about our experience.
Soldier: Did you eat well there?
Qizhi: What are we doing here? We have a table for 10. A bowl of meatballs was served, and only eight were counted.
Soldier: There were two more in 2008.
Qizhi: Huh? Just out of the pot? Let the chef taste it. It's gone.
Soldier: What is a chef? )
Qizhi: We have a young man sitting at this table. He goes up and scoops up five pills with a spoon and swallows them? At that time, his face changed.
Soldier: It's very hot.
Qizhi: Another plate of braised pork was served. I only counted three pieces? I can't be polite about it. I can't be calm. I can't be silent. I went up with chopsticks!
Private: Take two pieces.
Qizhi: I even took the plates.
Soldier: How are you? We are still a little short here.
Qizhi: How bad is your place?
Soldier: We can't even provide food here? The young lady was tasting food while walking.
Qizhi: Hey? 120 miss is not enough for them to eat.
Soldier: It's my turn to sit here. Only vegetable soup is left? I ate two plates of soup and soaked rice.
Qizhi: Ouch? Disgusting
Soldier: Let me see this bowl. ) I won't go up.
Qizhi: What should I do?
Private: I'll look at the kitchen door myself.
Qizhi: Eat as soon as it's out of the pot.
Private: What will you think when I get there? Oh, my God.
Qizhi: What's the matter?
Private: darkness? Hundreds of people stood there.
Qizhi: Beggars are invited.
Private: I don't know who called for the robbery.
Qizhi: Is it over? There was a riot.
Soldier: Did you rush into the kitchen and eat indiscriminately? I squeeze in, you see (what? ) There is no stove to make a fire.
Qizhi: I didn't eat the rice shovel (? )
Soldier: I robbed it for half an hour? Just take a cabbage and two onions.
Qizhi: What should I do?
Soldier: Then I'm welcome. I ate with soy sauce.
Qizhi: Why don't you come here to eat? (Ah) How many are there? With your physique, you can catch some cooked food.
Soldier: I'm not coming. I have paid 200 yuan a favor and haven't eaten it yet. Besides, we will win the lottery here soon.
Qizhi: You still get the prize when you die.
Private: Huh? We won the first prize of 30 thousand yuan
Qizhi: Then why don't you come to our side? We have six lottery tickets here? Turn around 80%? Now I have 12 packs of washing powder.
Soldier: You are not as interesting as us.
Qizhi: How can we have fun?
Private: We have 10 mahjong table here.
Qizhi: We all have dice games here.
Private: We are playing video games around the coffin here.
Wonder: Our new house is haunted.
Soldier: We have a dance in the mourning hall.
Miracle: Our bride danced on the bed.
Soldier: We still have programs to watch here.
Qizhi: Our song and dance party to warmly celebrate Yang Qizhi's sister's wedding ceremony begins now.
Soldier: Let's pay tribute to Mrs. Wang. The cross talk sketch contest begins now.
Qizhi: First of all, thank you for coming.
Private: Thank you for your red envelope.
Qizhi: On this big day.
Private: We are very sad.
Qizhi: Let's bless the bride and groom.
Private: Rest in peace. Amen.
Qizhi: It's a shame to mix any longer. Are you in charge of the west side of your funeral village? Oh, our dance is great. Our song and dance? Oh, dancing. Those two girls are beautifully dressed. Seen from a distance, they were almost naked. A closer look shows that they really look naked and wear such a short skirt. I still dare not look at the village director, village head and mayor. After sitting in the front row, my uncle watched it for a long time ... ) I was afraid to go out and get a towel for three days at home.
Soldier: You are not as good as me.
Qizhi: What about you?
Soldier: I'm busy here. I'm dancing in a group dance. I almost jumped over the coffin.
Qizhi: Then what group dance do you do?
Soldier: My grandmother rolled out.
Qizhi: Oh, it's so scary!
Soldier: Then I danced and found another leader in front. That's great.
Qizhi: We invited famous singers to entertain us.
Soldier: Oh, which one are you entertaining?
Qizhi: Ah, I'm tired. I am tired. I just rushed to the west of the village to sing for the happy people (the dead). Next, I want to sing a song for happy people.
Soldier: yo-yo, who is it for?
Miracle: pull for happiness.
Private: The happy (the dead) are on our side.
Qizhi: What's this side?
Private: get married.
Qizhi: Oh, then I'll sing Ghost to the living.
(singing)
Private: Yu Yu
Qizhi: Ah, ah, why are you yelling like a donkey?
Soldier: What if you want to sing a dead song? What's the matter? ) That's a song that you can't live long after you get married.
Kai Zhi: Ah, I sang the wedding song "Is there a car in heaven?"
Soldier: You can't sing this either. Haunted.
Qizhi: Why is it haunted here? Ah, ah, where is my service fee?
Private: labor costs. Is it necessary to go to the toilet?
Qizhi: Rock stars all smell like this.
Soldier: Hehe, is there still a service charge? Will you be disabled?
Qizhi: Are you going to hit someone? Kill someone
Private: Ignore him? Our memorial song and dance party continues.
Qizhi: That's where they started.
Soldier: This is the female chorus "Ah" by Liu (the old lady) and He.
Qizhi: Three old ladies.
Soldier: All three of them got into coffins and started. Dear Wang Laoai is our work here, Ma You.
Miracle: Comrades of Matan Arena
Soldier: Your death is a great loss to us.
Kai Zhi: We feel extremely sad.
Soldier: Since I lost you as a gunner.
Qizhi: Yes.
Private: Our income has dropped greatly.
Qizhi: She is our second artillery now.
Soldier: We rehearsed a memorial program. I hope you will like it. Please listen to the girls' chorus.
Together: "Farewell to comrades"
Wonder: prepare three.
Together: (singing out of tune, quarreling)
Qizhi: I said I want to fly solo.
Private: Are you still there?
Qizhi: You are the second.
Soldier: Your luck is worse than mine. You lent me the money from 5 yuan yesterday, but you haven't paid me back.
Qizhi: I used the money to buy food.
Soldier: This is Lippi.
Qizhi: I just don't give it.
……
Soldier: I said I can sing well alone.
Qizhi: One person is a solo, and the three of us are a chorus.
Soldier: At this moment, my grandmother sat up from the coffin.
Qizhi: Why are you sitting up?
Private: She also sang a song.
Qizhi: What song does she sing?
Soldier: Actually, I don't want to leave. Actually, I want to stay.
Qizhi: Go back! There are so many lines in Zhi's cross talk, who can remember them?