Hello, I am happy to answer your question.

I think mothers who are not as good as Buddhists must have had such thoughts. Don't say it's just once, it happens every day. You will regret it only when the child falls asleep. But when a new day comes, you are reincarnated again. Similarly, when we talk to our children, the first tone is as gentle as water, the second tone is higher in pitch, the third tone starts to get hairy, and finally the tone is loud and loud. At that time, the mother had no urge to beat her child, it was just suppressed by herself.

I am also a mother of two children. When my two children are noisy together, I often cannot control myself. The two children are very good when they are happy. They can play together without my company. But many times it's good one second, and then it's noisy the next second. One of the two children is crying and the other is arguing. At this time, the mother is most likely to be emotionally ignited. I most want to beat the child violently. As a mother of two children, her emotions are often easily ignited. Because she has to take care of two children, do housework, and take care of her husband. She has no self. Her emotions are often suppressed and she is more likely to explode in front of her children. , so it is very easy to have the idea of ??beating children violently.

There is an old saying: Only after you become a mother do you realize how hard your mother has worked. This is a wise saying. When I was a daughter, I didn't realize what my mother had to do, but now that I'm a mother, I know a lot of hard work. And most of the hard work is digested slowly by oneself. Even with today's good material life, we mothers are burdened even more. So we still have to find ways to relieve, soothe, and release these negative emotions ourselves. Just by suppressing our emotions, one day we will be overwhelmed. So what we need to do is not just suppress it, but slowly find our own ways to control our temper.

1. Leave and calm down before your emotions explode.

Every mother will feel at a certain emotional point that she is about to explode. If she continues at this time, she will yell at her child or even fight. If conditions permit, leave for a while, even if it's just going downstairs for a walk. Family members can be asked to help watch the children. Of course, many stay-at-home moms, just like me, have no choice but to go out, so just take a deep breath, walk from the room to the kitchen, close your eyes, and calm down without talking. Wait until you calm down before solving the problem rationally.

2. Find an outlet that works for you.

Suppression of bad emotions will not dissipate on its own, but will continue to be suppressed and deepened. One day it will explode and it will have serious consequences, which is also not good for the mother herself. So it is very important to find a way to vent that suits you. It is appropriate because everyone may be different. Some mothers may like to exercise and feel comfortable when they sweat. Some mothers like to sing. If they give themselves some rest time and find their sisters to sing karaoke together, they will feel better. Others like to listen to music quietly and read books. Here I suggest that mothers should read more books when they have time. If they really can’t read, listen to books. My way to relieve stress is to listen to books. My world is full of children and family, and I don’t have time for myself, so I find time to listen to books, which can not only relax me, but also let me learn new knowledge. With new knowledge and new insights, maybe the things that bother you can be solved.

3. To manage emotions, you must first accept them.

Before you want to manage your emotions, you must accept them. Today's society has very high requirements for women. They must be able to get into the kitchen and get out of the hall. We also have many roles, such as other people’s mothers, other people’s wives, and other people’s children. The more roles we play, the more we lose ourselves. When you don't do well, you don't admit it. When we lose control of our emotions, we will also fall into deep self-blame, which can easily form a vicious cycle. The more angry you become, the more you blame yourself. The more you blame yourself, the more anxious you become. The more anxious you are, the easier it is to get angry and fall into a vicious cycle of negative emotions. So allow yourself to have bad emotions and allow yourself to vent. Just like: Want to solve the problem and acknowledge the existence of the problem. Everyone has their own stress. As mothers, it is normal to have emotions. The correct way is to accept your emotions and find appropriate ways to solve them.

Being a mother is not easy. Nowadays, society always says that mothers must be emotionally stable in order for their children to grow better. However, mothers will also encounter emotional problems. What we must do is not Suppress, don't ignore it, but find out the reasons and find appropriate solutions. Of course, it is not advisable to beat children violently. Only by sorting out our own emotions can we be better mothers and treat our children better. I hope you will have fewer thoughts of beating your children in the future.

To be honest, this idea exists.

Since becoming a mother and a stay-at-home mother, my temper has gotten worse and worse. Especially a mother like me who takes care of her own children.

Maybe it’s because I have lost my freedom. It’s just me and the baby at home every day. When the baby was still young, it was fine. He couldn’t roll over, crawl, or sit. He played well lying on the bed and followed the baby. She is getting older and can walk, but the house is messed up all day long. As long as she can reach it and move it, even the trash can has to be turned upside down. In fact, these are fine and can be done. Bear.

The thing that pisses me off the most is that when the baby is sick, taking the medicine is the most difficult. Every time, I try all kinds of methods, racking my brains, putting the baby in the bottle, using the medicine feeder, putting it in the porridge. , in the end I couldn’t drink much, and the disease couldn’t be cured without taking the medicine. My husband was at work and couldn’t come back until evening. During the day, I was the only one feeding the baby the medicine. Every time, I was covered in sweat and my arms were scratched by the baby. I'm really going to collapse. I really want to beat her, but I can't bear to do it. Besides, the baby is still sick. I just hope that the baby will get better soon and be healthy.

This is for sure, and I have wanted to beat and yell at my child more than once.

My child has very bad sleeping habits. He often wakes up in the middle of the night, babbling, kicking his hands and feet, and having a lot of fun! However, she cannot play by herself. When she is awake, her mother must play with her and talk to her. If I fall asleep, she will keep scratching and kicking me, crying and fussing until she wakes me up! At first, I supported my tired body and played with her patiently. After playing for half an hour to an hour, she fell asleep again, but I couldn't sleep anymore! I opened my eyes and waited until dawn. It was time to get up. I was extremely sleepy, but I had no choice but to insist on getting up, otherwise the child would cry again!

It was fine once in a while, but my child would wake up and play for a while almost every night! Now I have to go to work again. If I keep doing this at night, I won’t have enough energy during the day! So, when she woke up at night and wanted to play, my heart was broken and I became angry and wanted to yell at her and hit her!

Only once, I flicked her leg and she cried! Afterwards, I regretted it endlessly! When I was a child, I didn't like my parents hitting me. I hated people who hit their children. How did I become what I once hated?

After reflection, I also thought carefully about the reasons for children’s poor sleeping habits: the root cause still lies with us parents! If you want your children to have good sleeping habits, parents still need to cultivate them!

1. For children who stay awake at night, parents can fix a time period, lie in bed with the child, accompany the child quietly, and gradually fix the child's sleeping time period. Turn off the lights in the room during this period to let the child realize that it’s time to go to sleep! Accompanying people should not chat or play with their children, let alone use their mobile phones! If your child cries, don't rush to pick them up. Let them release their excess energy first.

2. For babies who often wake up at night and want to play, parents should not talk or play with them when they wake up. They should be quiet for a while and let the children make noise on their own. You can fall asleep quickly! I persisted for a while, and now although my child still wakes up in the middle of the night, her playing time has been shortened a lot!

3. For babies who sleep less at night and sleep during the day, parents who have heavy menstruation during the day should talk and play with their children during the day, and try to reduce the time they spend sleeping during the day. However, this has to be done step by step and requires a process, which requires patient correction and training from parents! When it’s time to go to bed at night, it’s best to distract your baby and prevent him from taking a nap!

☆In the process of raising a baby, there are many such moments when I want to beat the baby violently.

Especially when you are looking after a baby alone and feel too tired to crawl, the baby will keep crying, and all kinds of coaxing and hugging will not work, and your patience and strength will be exhausted. , at that time I really wanted to pull him over and beat him up.

Two days ago, I took my baby to play in the community. He had just learned to walk, and his walking was not very stable. He still liked to walk by himself, and he still couldn't walk well. He walked in corners and accidentally walked. He fell down, and I tried to take him to the roadside, but he was not happy. He slipped out and started rolling around on the ground, howling and crying. No matter how much he was coaxed, he couldn't be coaxed. The elders, aunties, and brothers and sisters who were looking after the children in the community all watched the fun. ah! After a few minutes of ineffective communication, I could no longer suppress my anger. At that time, I really wanted to beat him up, and also beat his father up.

Another time, I changed his diaper before going to bed at night, and he ran around naked like a monkey. I couldn't catch him. After I caught him, he could be twisted like a twist. Anyway, I just don’t wear it. If I don’t wear it, I won’t wear it. I went to bed and peed. Do you think I should be beaten? !

There are many more. Every family raising children is a record of family feuds, so I won’t go into details one by one.

Ordinary parents, that is, if they think about beating their children, they will not actually take action. When you can't control yourself, in addition to silently saying "My dear, my dear, my dear", Also note:

Children are always naughty and should not be seriously angry. Beating the child is a small thing, but it is not worth it to make yourself angry.

Not only is the child too young, but even if he is a little older, he cannot be spanked casually. He will be easily beaten and will be even more difficult to discipline in the future.

At this time, you can change your parents and let the one who is not angry watch. The one who is angry can go out first to calm down and take a breather.

In short, little people, please don’t do anything!

I must have experienced that when I feel tired and irritated by everything I see. I don’t know if it senses my emotions. Mumu also cries mostly. I feel irritable when I hear her crying. I even yelled at her a few times, but regretted it afterwards. I always wanted to escape from this situation, feeling that there was no hope.

How could I think that? Slowly, I accepted and became numb to such thoughts. After that, I began to become even more impatient with Mumu, wondering why I couldn't talk well, why I always cried, and why I couldn't sleep alone. But every time I got angry, I didn't feel better. On the contrary, I started to blame myself. She was just a child, why should I be so harsh on her? This blame was quickly passed on to my husband. Why do I always look at my mobile phone and play games? When he saw it, he wanted to throw his phone away.

During that period, I felt like I was repeating a strange cycle every day: losing my temper - being angry with myself - being angry with my husband, and then I felt even worse. I didn't do a good job, my husband didn't do his best, and I was miserable. He was disgraced and full of resentment.

Later I talked to a friend, complaining for a long time about my husband’s inability to do anything, denying myself, feeling useless, and feeling deeply powerless and anxious.

In fact, even in this mood, I know that most of this is my own problem. Everything is not in line with my expectations, and I am too tired. When we are tired, negative emotions enter easily. When we enter this state, it is easy for us to enter into a judgmental mentality, judging our teammates as not being good enough, then denying ourselves, and then seeing everything as bad.

When the other party receives the denial, the first reaction is to defend and attack. Obviously, the two people will confront each other, and then quarrel and cold war, entering a vicious circle.

So we must first ensure that we are in a healthy state, that is, when we are tired, there are some strategies or power storage modes that allow us to quickly recover blood

We must maintain it every day Uninterrupted power storage mode. Don’t wait until your children run out of power. We collapse and explode before we realize the problem. Find more short and quick ways to recharge yourself that are suitable for you. I’ll share a few that work for me.

1. Reading

This is a method I just discovered recently. Once I felt very tired and irritable, and I just felt that my heart was blocked, but I also realized that this I was in a bad state and couldn't get angry at my teammates and my kids. At that time, Mumu was playing picture-taking and asked me to read the questions to her. I also picked up a book and read it. When I read in, I found that my mood suddenly calmed down. Less restless.

From now on, I will read a few pages of the book every day, read one or two more touching points, write them down, and feel much better. This is my method. I don’t know if it is suitable for you. You can try it. Next

2. Keeping a diary

This has always been my habit. Although I don’t write every day, whenever I have unresolved emotions, I will write them down and write down my feelings. , analyze the reasons, and think about possible plans. Why do I think so? Is there really no turning around for what I saw?

Just writing them down one by one, my mood generally stabilized, and sometimes I even thought of solutions to my confusion. Even if they may not be implemented in the end, the act of writing has relieved my emotions. .

3. Exercise

This is something I have been insisting on recently. When you are in a bad mood, go out for a run and sweat profusely. In the end, you will find that all the worries you are struggling with are not included. Most of the time, when I don’t have much time, I will choose to do yoga at home. It is an exercise that quickly focuses my attention on the present moment.

Nowadays, a kind of mindfulness yoga is popular, which is also a way to rest the brain and completely relax the body. Recently, I was listening to teacher Jia Kun’s mindfulness class. I haven’t focused on the training yet, but at that moment it brought me Comes tranquility.

4. Give positive feedback in a timely manner

This is the biggest gain from recent studies. Positive feedback is not only given to teammates and children, but also to ourselves. We ourselves need affirmation even more. Most of us feel that When you are tired and feel irritable and anxious, you feel that you are not doing well enough and could do better to take care of you. In fact, we are already great. We have to go to work, take care of a baby, and balance the relationship between work and family, not to mention stay-at-home mothers. Having said that, every day I get up and focus on my children. The children are taken care of so well. This is the best part.

Before going to bed every day, record one thing you did well or completed today to give yourself this kind of positive reinforcement. It is also a good way to store electricity.

These four little methods seem very simple, but when we start doing them, our thinking patterns will change, and we begin to understand that we need to set aside time to take care of our own needs and put our own Put needs before your child’s needs.

When you accept yourself enough at this time, you will naturally be able to see the needs of your child, and you will not want to beat the child when you see him being so naughty!

Yes, this happens especially when children are making trouble or when children sometimes don’t make sense.

This situation often occurs in our family, because we have two babies who basically disagree with each other, and both children can get physical. The distance between the children is not very large, so the communication between the elder sister and the younger brother is limited. If it doesn't work, take action. There were many moments when I wanted to beat the baby violently. Our eldest brother would not care about and protect his younger brother, and the second child was not a fuel-efficient child. Basically, children are at a naughty and mischievous age. He will grab everything his sister brings back. He will cry every time he fails to grab it, and many times he will take action. After I tried to make adjustments to no avail, I wanted to beat him up every time, but when I thought about it, the children were relatively small. Beating the children was just to vent my anger. The children were innocent and purely used as a punching bag because they were relatively small and couldn't come. Putting myself in my shoes, my sister is basically more sensible this year. Gradually, she seems to understand that her parents and younger brother are her closest relatives. Therefore, many times she lets her younger brother negotiate or negotiates with her younger brother. She tries every means to coax her younger brother. , to minimize the disputes between my brother and myself, and the children can resolve their conflicts by themselves, so we are also very pleased. In fact, when parents spank their children, it only has a temporary effect. What's more, parents spank their children just out of anger, that is, they use their children as a punching bag when they are angry. In fact, spanking children is of no use in their education. The main way to solve the problem is to guide the children to put themselves in the other person's shoes, or when the child is still young, you can change his attention. Let him distract himself and shift his attention to something else to avoid the argument from continuing. When the child is older, you can reason with him and let him think about it slowly. When appropriate, you can also make the child stand for a few minutes to let him reflect on his behavior. This all depends on the situation. Mothers can also guide their children to put themselves in their children's shoes when they are older, or exchange role-playing with their children when playing games, so that their children can understand their own psychology at the time, or when they have a dispute with their friends, they can also let them role-play. Restore it. This is especially beneficial to children's development.

The behavior of using violence to fight violence only works in the short term. Children will forget when they turn around. Most of us used this kind of education method to fight violence with violence when we were young. Remember when we were children, as long as we make mistakes, no matter what It’s adults and teachers. They would beat us, although they did not cause any psychological shadow on us. But this method is incorrect. In this civilized society, if you want to get along with others peacefully, you still have to be reasonable and civilized. It is not solved by fighting violence with violence, or by using force. If parents guide their children or the children grow up in this type of beating for a long time. Then, children will also use this method to deal with others in their future social life. After all, parents are their children's first teachers. Therefore, children are our mirrors. Children are what we are.

I am a mother of two children. With rich parenting experience and parenting knowledge, you are welcome to follow and leave messages.

My baby doesn't listen to me.

I said it not once, but several times, and when she was unmoved, I wanted to hit her, but I actually hit her.

Before she was one year old, I felt very sorry for her. I would not hug her because I was afraid that she would be bullied.

Before she was two years old, she was actually very obedient, and her behavior was surprising to us. We were very happy to see her new growth every day.

Now that she is 3 years old, she certainly has more manners. Things I used to do when I was two years old are now more skillful. My strength has also increased, and some things that I thought were cute when I was two are now too much.

In fact, children cannot distinguish between right and wrong or the seriousness of things.

If you don't stop something at first, she will take it for granted later that it is something she can do, and she can do whatever she wants, even expand it.

The first time I hit her, I felt very distressed. I knew it was my fault. I should have told her at the age of two what she should do and what she should not do.

I know everyone will think, what does a two-year-old child know? In fact, you are wrong.

With the cognition of a two-year-old, she is enough to know "right" and "wrong".

I am a dad with a very hot temper and am happy to answer your questions.

I don’t have the urge to hit my baby for a moment. I want to hit my baby every day. She

The baby is two years old and is rummaging through boxes and cabinets at home every day. The house is in a mess every day as if it has been robbed

When things don’t go his way, he cries and immediately stops crying when he is satisfied

Enter I would take off my shoes and socks and roll around the house barefoot

Go to the bathroom and play with water to wet my clothes

On cold days, I would take off my pants and socks as soon as I went to bed without getting into bed. Running all over the bed

Of course, I mean that I really don’t want to complain about it. I just want to have fun with my mouth.

I am very happy to answer this question. Of course I have it, especially if the child is crying. More than once! The eldest of my three children is five and a half years old. He is already very sensible and can communicate on anything except when doing homework! The second child is about to turn three. When she doesn’t understand everything, she will howl for a long time and can’t be coaxed. Sometimes I really want to beat her up and make her cry until she’s full! But most of the time, I can control myself, and I can only hit him twice and then I’ll be coaxed! So don’t spank your child if you can, and do your best to comfort your child and communicate if you can! Otherwise, the beating will be useless and the child will not understand and will know that the beating hurts and makes him cry! It’s not easy to be numb anyway! When I was little, I had to eat, drink, and poop, but when I got older, I had to go to school and get help with my homework, etc.! No matter how old you are, you won't be needed anymore. You won't be able to take care of it if you want. Cherish the time you spend with your baby. In fact, your baby will only be dependent on you for a few years!