"News Lately"

Jia: Hello, audience friends!

Zhang: Hello everyone!

Jia: Welcome to today's "News Lately"

Zhang: The main contents of today's news are as follows

Jia: "Swordsman" successfully aired on Dragon TV After the show was aired, the ratings skyrocketed and aroused heated discussion.

Zhang: There is another important reason for the soaring of Laughter and Answers, which is that young crosstalk actors from Beijing Lohas Club also participated in this show. Recording

Jia: The biggest characteristic of these two actors is that they never ask for applause

Zhang: After learning that they were coming to participate in Swordsman, Artist associations from all over the world sent congratulatory messages one after another

Jia: The cross talk they said in the congratulatory message has made outstanding contributions to world peace in the past few years, especially the shameless spirit of the two people. affim.

Zhang: Next, we will take you to review the main news content that has happened in recent days. The following is sports news;

Jia: The 2015 East Asian Cup was unveiled on the evening of August 2 In the battle, the Chinese men's football team once again lived up to expectations, not surprisingly, and lost to the second team of South Korea without saying a word

Zhang: After watching the Chinese football team for more than ten years, the commentator said the most One sentence is that there is not much time left for China

Jia: The main reason why Chinese football is difficult to succeed is that there are no stars. If collective sports want to succeed, they need stars. Zidane retired France has not recovered in 6 years, Puska has retired, Hungary has not recovered in 60 years, Gao Qiu has retired, and China has not recovered in a thousand years.

Zhang: After in-depth discussions and research by relevant departments and fan associations across the country, it was decided to remove the sculpture of Gao Qiu and use a sculpture of Cao Cao instead, and worship him as the ancestor of the Chinese men's football team, because Cao Cao and the Chinese men's football team have very consistent philosophies. , that is; I would rather let the world down than let the world let me down.

Jia: The sign of a strong football team is that its performance is stable. Looking at the international football world, it can do Only the Chinese men's football team can do this. Not every team is called "Specially Able to Lose." Chinese football has focused on losing for 30 years and has been imitated and never surpassed.

Zhang: The advertising slogan of Chinese football is "We don't score goals, we are just porters of football"

Jia: August 6. Ning Zetao won the 100-meter freestyle championship at the World Swimming Championships in Kazan, Russia. Due to his handsomeness, he quickly became a national idol.

Our reporter randomly interviewed several beauties and asked them about their experiences in Ning How would Zetao and Wang Sicong, known as the "national husband", choose? They both answered surprisingly unanimously

Zhang: This question is so simple. Ning Zetao has a handsome figure and is good at swimming. So awesome, so I chose Wang Sicong.

Jia: Next is the tourism news

Zhang: According to surveys, tourism has become a fashionable lifestyle for Chinese people. During the Golden Week in a certain scenic spot, there were too many people, causing congestion and stranded tourists. incident, in order to avoid the recurrence of this incident, the relevant departments will implement the following regulations for tourists

Jia: One-day tour with single eyelids

Zhang: Two-day tour with double eyelids

Jia: A single pair playing at night

Zhang: Those wearing sunglasses will be treated as deliberately covering their eyelids and will not be allowed to play!

Jia: Domestic travel when a man chases a girl together

Zhang: Foreign travel when a woman chases a man together

Jia: What do you do when you are still single? ,work overtime!

Zhang: Recently, a female tourist from Chongqing refused to pay for the fish-flavored shredded pork she ordered because there was no fish in it. This incident has caused concern in the Chinese food industry, and the most affected person is his wife. Cake, because they really can't satisfy a diner's wish to buy a cake as a gift for his wife

Jia: The following is entertainment news. The world's ugliest wax museum suddenly appeared in Chengdu. Many domestic and international celebrities , all have a strong local flavor, which has caused dissatisfaction among many celebrities. The maker of the wax figures explained that these celebrities look like this after taking off their makeup.

Zhang: This station raised objections to this, and the celebrities went out. It’s not all about makeup. For example, Guo Degang doesn’t necessarily look good even if he wears makeup

Jia: This year’s domestic movies have achieved good results at the box office. It is understood that some of the movies that have been big hits at the box office this year There are plans to start shooting sequels. The companion piece of "Jianbing Man" is already on the schedule, and the second part of "Monster Hunt" "Monster Hunt" is also in preparation

Zhang: The box-office myth of the domestic animation "The Return of the Great Sage" will also launch a series of sequels. They are: "The Great Sage Walks Slowly", "The Great Sage Returns Again", "The Great Sage Is Gone Again", "The Great Sage Returns Again". Come", "The Great Sage Don't Leave", "The Great Sage Can You Come Back", and "The Great Sage Can You Still Leave", and the final chapter of the Great Sage "The Great Sage is Tired".

Jia: Recently the singer Tao apologized to the public and admitted that he had cheated on her during marriage.

Zhang: The cheating scandals of Tao, Wen, Wang and other celebrities have been exposed one after another. It also makes the public sigh. As a famous saying says, marriage is like a besieged city. People outside the city want to get in.

Jia: People in the city really know how to play!

Zhang: Love in the entertainment industry always comes and goes, and it has become a topic of conversation for ordinary people after dinner. Some netizens summarized the laws of love in the entertainment industry. That is, today he loves her, tomorrow she loves him, the day after tomorrow he does not love her, he loves her, she falls in love with her former him, and later, he and her, he and him, they and her, she With her former him, the winning child looks like him

Jia: That’s it for today’s news

Zhang: Thank you for watching