People around us always mention "sense of presence". For example, many people say that posting pictures in WeChat Moments is to gain a sense of presence among the crowd. So, what is the psychological view on this “sense of presence”?

Modern psychology originated from modern European philosophy of mind. Descartes, the founder of the philosophy of mind, famously said, "I think, therefore I am." What does it mean? That is to say, because the subject of thinking is me, so in order to think about existence, I must first exist. On the other hand, if I doubt my existence, then doubt itself is also a kind of thinking, so I must also exist first.

However, if you think about it carefully, there are many problems with this statement.

First of all, how can we prove that our voices and movements exist? If people can gain a sense of existence through spontaneous actions, then why do they need to post their life insights on social platforms instead of in a private space where only they are alone? The existence of social networking sites captures people's desire to communicate with others and show their social psychology.

A philosopher, Berkeley, said something similar. He said: To exist is to be perceived. It means that only things that are felt by others can prove that they exist. That is, the signals we send can only be proven to exist when others respond to our actions. The signal exists, proving that we exist too.

There are many examples of this in life. For example, many children like to leave their own footprints in the snow when it snows. The action of "stepping" is our signal, and "trace" is the outside world's response to us. When a child sees his own footprints, he confirms his action, proves his existence, and gains a sense of existence.

When a pair of lovers are having a cold war, they ignore each other. This behavior actually uses the theory of presence in reverse. Because the other party pretends to be indifferent and does not respond, the person cannot confirm the existence of his own signal, and therefore cannot confirm his own existence. Through this method, he can subtly erase the other party's sense of existence and bring a psychological feeling to the other party. punishment.

Similarly, when we post status on social platforms, it is not the action of posting the signal itself that gives us a sense of presence, but the positive responses and enthusiastic comments of others that allow us to experience ourselves Only when the signal is real can we gain a sense of existence. Therefore, some people will have obsessive-compulsive disorder, and they will take a few minutes or even seconds to see if anyone has commented or liked the topic they posted. The so-called sense of presence does not mean that you have to make movements or make sounds, but that you have to have an effective response from the outside world. This response is not necessarily a human response. A dog, a machine, and a patch of snow are enough. Of course, the quality of the response is also divided into high and low. A high-quality response generally respects and recognizes the other party, while a low-quality response generally weakens the other party's sense of value.

This need for a sense of one's own existence can be said to be innate, which is why babies will cry and make a fuss to win attention when they cannot get a timely and effective response. Similarly, many people who go to see a psychiatrist complain that they lacked love and care in childhood and now do not know how to love others. Lack of love actually means that in some people's childhood, no one responded to the signals they sent, or the response quality was not good enough or timely enough. If things go on like this, demand can only be hidden, but it cannot disappear. Young children will have lower and lower requirements for responding to the outside world, they will become less and less good at expressing themselves to the outside world, and they will not respond effectively to others, and their interpersonal relationships will be very bad.

In modern society, a sense of existence is an important symbol of mental health. The lack of a sense of existence will lead to a sense of meaninglessness and a lack of value. Just like an independent piece of puzzle, the lack of existence makes it difficult for us to establish contact with the outside world, and an independent puzzle cannot know its own value. Therefore, in modern psychotherapy, an important area is to help patients find their own sense of existence.

This also reminds us that in daily chats, we should pay attention to the skills when responding to others and avoid low-quality responses.

Of course, what is more important than this is actually the development of a perfect personality. This requires us to gain a full sense of existence early in life and bring ourselves psychological satisfaction, so that we can gradually form a perfect personality.