The importance of respect in interpersonal communication
A foreign professor is giving an etiquette class to a group of international students. Since the students are from different countries, everyone listens very carefully.
"Etiquette starts from small things. For example, when I walked into the classroom just now, I knocked gently on the door." The professor said.
The professor told his students, "There are particularities to knocking on the door: knocking once means testing; knocking twice means waiting for the other party to answer; knocking three times means asking. In real life, 80% of the cases The above people don’t know how to knock on the door.”
Then the professor had an interaction in class, where a student acted as a waiter in a restaurant and delivered food to the professor’s house. The "waiter" knocked on the door three times, and after entering, he gently placed the takeaway on the table. The professor pointed out the problem of the "waiter" on the spot: the knock on the door was too loud and he did not identify himself; he also did not bring disposable shoe covers to cover his shoes, which stained the floor of the host's house. So, the student performed it again according to the professor's instructions.
After finishing, the student was still standing on the podium looking at the professor. The professor reminded him that he could step down. At this time, he said seriously to the professor: "Teacher, if someone delivers takeaway to me, I will not let him change his shoes. I would rather mop the floor again myself, because that will hurt that person's self-esteem. Also, the other person leaves When the time comes, I will sincerely say thank you."
The professor was stunned for a moment, and then said sincerely: "You are right, thank you."
At this time, there was warm applause from the podium.
People are equal and need to respect each other. In the process of interacting with others, don't blindly ask what the other person does, but take a step back and think about what you have done for the other person. Respecting the other person should be reflected in every move you make. Even a word, as long as it is sincere, is the most humane.
The secret of interpersonal communication
Emotional pleasure
Everyone likes to interact with each other and can gain something from the interaction. The interaction must be a virtuous circle proceed. If a relationship becomes a burden, a meaningless activity that is a waste of time, then such a relationship will not last long. Emotional pleasure often affects the early stages of a relationship.
Similar values
In the process of communication, if each other's values ??are similar, they can not only get support and support, but also predict the other's behavioral tendencies. In this way, it is easier for both parties to adapt. Similar values ??play a big role in the later stages of a relationship. Many people end up parting ways because of differences in values.
Be careful when giving advice to others
The biggest danger is to give advice when others have not asked for advice. Some people will refuse to adopt the advice, no matter how good the advice is, or you No matter how noble your intentions are, if you persist in doing so, your relationship with them will suffer. Stop wasting time and energy trying to solve other people's problems. This includes your spouse, friends, and work partners. Trying to solve their problems is another way of saying they are incapable of doing the job. , Regarding the act of proactively proposing suggestions, wise men do not need suggestions, and fools do not adopt suggestions. When someone comes to me for advice, I first figure out what kind of advice he wants, and then I give him that advice. Giving people the advice they want may be a way to solve the problem of people who don't actually want it. Good strategy for important questions.
Being good at listening to others
This is very important. When communicating with others, listen carefully to what others say, and you will be able to accurately understand and understand what others want to express, as well as the purpose of speaking, so that you can accurately express your own thoughts and opinions. , able to communicate and communicate well with others, achieving twice the result with half the effort.
Put yourself in someone else’s shoes
Everything you do, you have to think in someone else’s shoes. When you encounter something, you might as well think about it from the other person’s point of view, start from the other person’s point of view, and think about what we do. Understand what the other party will think and the consequences of this, so that we can think clearly and do the best thing. If the other party is a leader, we should pay more attention to this, but the prerequisite must be to raise our thinking to a higher level. If we As a leader, I want you to understand how to do something, what kind of effects it will have, to understand the gains and losses, and to do things properly and appropriately. If you develop this kind of thinking habit, you will be able to deal with many problems with ease and just right.
Psychologies that need to be avoided in interpersonal communication
A good psychology is a necessary condition for people to carry out extensive social activities, and it is also a prerequisite for people to fully develop their communication skills. On the contrary, poor mental state will form certain gaps and barriers, which to a certain extent hinder people from making friends and adapting to society. Therefore, we should pay attention to the improvement of self-cultivation in our work and life, and strive to overcome the following bad psychology in interpersonal interactions.
Indifferent psychology:
Some people are indifferent to people and things that have nothing to do with them, and even mistakenly believe that harsh words, aloof attitude, and arrogant attitude are their "personality" ”, causing others to dare not approach themselves, thus losing more friends.
Inferiority mentality:
Some people are prone to feeling inferior, and even look down on themselves. They only know their shortcomings but not their strengths. They are content to be inferior to others, lack proper self-confidence, and are unable to exert themselves. advantages and specialties. People with an inferiority complex lack the courage to do things in social interactions. They are used to going along with others and have no opinions of their own. If this mentality does not change, over time, it may gradually wear away a person's courage, courage and unique personality.
The psychology of drama:
Some people regard making friends as a drama. They often look at Qin and Mu Chu, change their minds when they see different things, and like to brag. This way of communicating between people is just superficial, so they often don't get real friendship and friends.
Cowardly mentality:
Mainly seen in people who are not deeply involved in the world, have little experience, are introverted, and are not good at speaking. Cowardice will hinder the realization of one's own plans and assumptions. Cowardice is the rope that binds thoughts and actions, and it should be cut off and abandoned.
Exclusion psychology:
Human beings’ existing knowledge, experience, and ways of thinking need to be constantly updated, otherwise they will lose their vitality and even produce side effects. Exclusionary psychology just ignores this point. It manifests itself in being conservative and refusing to expand their thinking, prompting people to only circle in a small self-enclosed space.
Suspicion:
People with suspicion often like to look at each other and external things with distrustful eyes. Whenever they see what others are talking about, they think that they are talking about something. Speak ill of yourself. People who are addicted to suspicion tend to make excuses, make irrelevant remarks, make irresponsible remarks, and stir up trouble. The result can only be trouble for themselves and harm others and themselves.
Rebellious psychology:
Some people always like to argue with others to show that they are new and different. Regarding anything, regardless of the merits, he will always say bad when you say it is good; when you say one thing, he will say second; when you say chili pepper is spicy, he will say not spicy. Rebellious psychology can easily blur the strict boundaries between right and wrong, often causing people to feel disgusted and disgusted.
Money greed:
Some people think that the purpose of making friends is to "use each other", so they only make friends with people who are useful to them and can bring benefits to them, and It’s often “burning bridges across rivers”. This kind of taking advantage of people in interpersonal relationships will damage their personality.