Performance of high emotional intelligence
Performance of high emotional intelligence. If a person’s IQ is the skeleton, then emotional intelligence is his skin. People with high emotional intelligence around us are very popular. Welcome, many people in life tend to make mistakes with low emotional intelligence. Let’s share the performance of high emotional intelligence. Performance of high emotional intelligence 1
01. Persistence is the first virtue;
On the fourth day of April in the first year of Tongzhi, Zeng Guofan wrote a letter home to his eldest son Zeng Jize, saying: "Persistence is the only virtue in life. "The first virtue", that is: "Persistence" is the first virtue in life. Why did Zeng Guofan say this?
Zeng Guofan received a letter from his son and learned that his son had been busy with social activities recently, but he still did not give up his homework and pursued self-improvement every day. He felt very gratified, so he used this sentence to encourage, Encourage your son. What's more, Zeng Guofan said, "With perseverance, nothing can be accomplished." He himself was also a beneficiary of "perseverance."
He also used his own calligraphy practice to explain that in his early years, he meditated hard and was not good at calligraphy. However, in recent years, he insisted on copying and writing every day for a long time without interruption, so he made great progress and made rapid progress without realizing it.
Therefore, Zeng Guofan sighed: Regardless of age, regardless of the difficulty of things, as long as you can "progress vigorously and persevere", then if you persist for one or two years, you will naturally make significant progress. aware. This is like planting and raising livestock. It doesn't feel like they are growing every day, but in fact they are growing.
In his letter home on April 24, the first year of Tongzhi, Zeng Guofan warned his two sons: Before he was 46 years old, he did not have perseverance in doing things, but in the past five years, he has learned from it. No matter what he does now, We strive to be "permanent" in everything we do, and start well and end well. Therefore, we make greater and greater progress and have more and more successful things.
Zeng Guofan's talent is very average, but he has accomplished many great things, which shows that he has a high emotional intelligence in doing things, especially a high adversity quotient, and he can become more courageous with every setback. Perseverance refers to a person who is tenacious in doing things and can never give up until the goal is achieved. Such people are often respected.
Therefore, persistence is one of the signs of whether a person is reliable and able to accomplish things. It is also a concrete manifestation of a person's high emotional intelligence. Really smart people know how to work hard to do successful things and speak with facts, as the old saying goes: "If you have perseverance, why sleep at three o'clock and get up at five o'clock? The most useless thing is to be exposed to ten days of cold in one day."
02. Appreciating others is the second virtue;
Chapter 1, Part 2 of "The Weakness of Human Nature" talks about: Everyone longs for recognition from others , Appreciation, if we can adapt to this human weakness and always appreciate others, we can become a person with high emotional intelligence, be loved by others, and be able to behave and do things with ease.
In the book, Carnegie said: "In daily life, one of the virtues we usually ignore is to appreciate others." For example, when a child gets a good report card from school, parents forget to praise the child. ; The wife cooked a large table of food, but the husband and children forgot to praise; the employee performed well, but the boss was stingy with his words of praise; etc.
"Zeng Guang Xian Wen" writes, "A kind word warms three winters, and bad words hurt someone for six months." This is to encourage everyone to appreciate others more, instead of criticizing and accusing others with hurtful words. If you criticize others, most others will refute, and in the end everyone will be unhappy, which will not help solve the problem; but if you know how to sincerely appreciate others, the enthusiasm of others will be stimulated, and in the end everyone will be happy.
This is the charm of language, and it is also a sign of a person’s high emotional intelligence and ability to speak. People with high emotional intelligence know how to make others happy, and they themselves can achieve their goals in a happy atmosphere; people with low emotional intelligence make others unhappy, and they themselves are unhappy, and in the end it becomes a lose-lose outcome.
Carnegie also found in research: The greater and outstanding the person, the more he knows how to praise and affirm others without hesitation.
For example, the oil magnate Rockefeller's first secret of successful personnel management was to know how to sincerely appreciate others; and the steel magnate Andrew Carnegie even used this sentence as his epitaph - Here lies a man who knows how to welcome people who are smarter than him. People!
Therefore, appreciating others is the second virtue. If we want to have high emotional intelligence, we also need to sincerely appreciate others. This is also a major principle of how we behave in the world, and it is the magic weapon for good interpersonal relationships. .
03. Kindness and forgiveness are the third virtue;
Zeng Guofan has a famous saying: "There is no kindness greater than forgiveness." The best kindness is to have a heart of kindness and forgiveness. Being able to accept all rivers and streams, being tolerant is great. As "Shang Shu·Jun Chen" said: "Tolerance is helpful; tolerance is great." A person must have a spirit of patience to accomplish things successfully; a person must have a tolerant mind to have broad virtues. .
The thought of benevolence and forgiveness is the core of Confucianism, which admonishes people to think in other people’s shoes, empathize with others, and treat others with empathy. As Confucius said in "The Analects": Don't do to others what you don't want others to do to you; if you want to be established, establish others; if you want to reach yourself, reach others, and so on. In fact, to forgive others is to forgive yourself, and to leave room for others is to leave a way out for yourself.
Zeng Guofan knew this truth well, so he warned his family in his letters at home: I must stand firm step by step, and I must know that others must also stand firm. This is called standing. If I want to be successful in everything, I need to know that others must be successful as well. This is called reaching. Today I am in good times, but I expect that there will be adverse times in the future. Today I use my arrogance to bully others, and I expect that in the future people will also use their arrogance to bully me, or my descendants. If you always use the word "forgiveness" to be wary of yourself and always leave room for others, you will have fewer thorns.
A good thought will be accompanied by auspicious gods; a bad thought will be accompanied by evil ghosts. If we have more kind thoughts in our hearts, be more tolerant, and be more tolerant of others, we can truly gain more good fortune, and this is also one of the great virtues of being a human being. People with high emotional intelligence are good at regulating emotions, can always quickly forgive others' mistakes, and let go of their arrogance and prejudice, so they are more successful in life and work. Performance of high emotional intelligence 2
Don’t complain or criticize
As the saying goes, “No one is a sage, so who can have no faults?” But how many people can be absolutely considerate? Not only do you think about yourself, but you also need to look at things from the perspective of others.
Things happen for a reason. Don’t easily express criticism that you think doesn’t hurt, because it didn’t happen to you. It is the stupidest behavior to pour all your negative emotions on the people closest to you.
Passion for life
People with high emotional intelligence do not have no worries, but they will shift their focus and maintain their passion for life.
If you are complaining that the same job every day makes you overwhelmed, resign boldly and find the happiness you want; if you can't do it, put away those complaints and treat yourself well. Treat life well, it's your choice.
Be good at tolerance
There are no people or things in the world that cannot be tolerated, tolerated, avoided, or endured. There are only people who care about everything and have a mind as big as a pinhead.
Of course, this does not mean that you have no principles and lose your bottom line, but that you have to control the string of self-discipline in interacting with others and relax your mind. You will find that being the prime minister is not that difficult.
Learn to communicate and exchange
Communication seems simple, but it is a university subject. The communication between two people is 70% emotional and 30% content. Being able to quarrel and repeatedly gaining the upper hand is not a sign of high emotional intelligence. When you are angry, you can also swallow the most hurtful words. This is a smart approach.
Praise others more
What you think in your heart is what you see. People who are good at discovering the good things in others live a simpler life and are more likely to find happiness than those who are picky. Praise from the heart can bring people closer together more easily than self-righteous majesty.
Keep a good mood
When you classify "good mood" in the ranks of luxury goods, it is really dangerous.
It is easy to preach to others, but not easy to adjust yourself. In fact, many times, what is bad is not the thing itself, but the mentality of looking at the problem.
Good habit of listening
Listening is the best form of communication between people. People with high emotional intelligence no longer insist on their own opinions when they disagree, but choose to listen.
If you don’t know how to comfort others, just put away your “it doesn’t matter, everything will pass”. There is a kind of warmth that can slowly melt and sublimate while listening.
Responsible
Be responsible, do not shirk responsibility when encountering problems, and take the initiative to solve them. You do not need to promise easily, but you must do what you say. The greater the sense of responsibility, the greater the ability.
Make a little progress every day
Don’t have the ambition to become a fat man in one bite. You have to eat one bite at a time and walk the road step by step, even if you just don’t make the same mistakes today. , that is also progress. Don't worry about the vague future. All you have to do now is work hard for the clear present.
Don’t gossip about others
When you don’t know a person well, you must not interpret others based on what you see. Such people are accustomed to measuring others by the standards of saints and demanding themselves by the standards of villains. If you have this time to talk about others, it is better to improve yourself. How to improve? At this time, closing your mouth means improving.
Don’t say boastful words
Telling the truth and the actual situation is the most important point in dealing with people. Don't be too humble, and don't boast too much.
Don’t think that others only have ears. They will also use their eyes to discover for themselves. When you brag about yourself, others will only think that you are a frog in the well.
Don’t compare excessively
How many people grow up with the phrase "Look at others, then look at you..." Everyone has their own merits. Here, eggs are not as hard as stones, but stones cannot be served on the table.
Failing to find one’s own place may destroy a person’s will. Boring comparisons and clumsy imitation will only make you live in the shadow of others all day long.