People often eat cheating melons. Recently, one melon after another, and this melon is holding another melon, which is overwhelming.

However, love and marriage occupy an important share in our lives. The topic of betrayal is both disturbing and irritating, but it may be hard to avoid.

For many people who have experienced or experienced betrayal and derailment, the most painful thing is that you have suffered the most fatal injury, but you don't know how to deal with it.

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When they were betrayed

1. Ma Yili: She can "endure" more than expected.

After 20 14 was derailed, Ma Yili sent Weibo to respond that "love is easy, marriage is not easy, and it is ok and cherished", suggesting that there will be no divorce. Disappointed by many angry people who eat melons, Ma Yili's "Do it and cherish it" spread into a forbearing online famous saying.

Xie: After the affair, she strengthened herself.

The relationship between Dānlín and Zhao Yaqi was exposed on the Internet. At the time of public outcry, Xie ended "our family share weal and woe" with her words. But the phrase "I love wrong, I can only choose silence" on her social platform at that time told her inner pain.

Fortunately, since then, Xie seems to have turned pain into strength. In addition to raising children and enjoying her own life, she also quietly established her own maternal and child brand, completing the great transformation from a world champion to a mall warrior. Xie, who recently appeared in the media, is a confident CEO. He controls his own life and has a happy family.

Tong Liya: Go on with your life in silence.

2017,6543810.9, it was revealed that there were two women in Chen Sicheng at the night meeting of the presidential suite, and then various reports emerged one after another, alleging that Chen Sicheng had cheated on her since 20 15. These naturally set off a thousand waves on the Internet. While netizens complained about Tong Liya, they also supported her to fight back with divorce. But Tong Liya didn't respond from beginning to end, only changed her hairstyle and dress style, and no longer wished Chen Sicheng a birthday.

4. Pan Yueming: Turning slander into a bumpy road to growth.

At that time, Pan Yueming became the target of public criticism. No matter how he explained it, he failed to reject a game. The truth was not clarified until the photo of Angel kissing and touching Wang's ass was made public.

Speaking of it, Pan Yueming never directly tore it up with Angel: Angel's agent said that the content of defaming Pan was inspired by Angel, and Pan Yueming said that he did not believe that Angel did it; Angel kissed Wang, and Pan Yueming said in an interview that he didn't want to believe it, but he also hoped.

Angel only participated in the parent-child program. In the interview, she said that Dingding couldn't see her father, so she had to accept the reality, and she had to accept the reality herself. Pan Yueming sent an Weibo saying: I really want to face the reality and dare to tell the truth.

5. Jerry: Maybe I didn't do it well enough.

On February 29th, 2065438+0717, Li XiaoLu broke out and stayed at the home of the hip-hop singer PGONE, while Jerry was doing a live broadcast that night, saying that Li XiaoLu had gone to have her hair done, and I didn't know where his wife had gone.

At first, Jerry's reaction can be summarized as trusting his wife. Later, he responded positively by publishing an article in his personal Weibo, taking the fact that he was betrayed as a fact, and at the same time expressing deep remorse for not doing well enough, begging them to solve their own problems.

In 20 19, the video of Li XiaoLu and PGONE came out, and Jerry gave up and chose a divorce.

6. Nicholas Tse: Endure, endure.

Cecilia Cheung's erotic photos will undoubtedly challenge the relationship between husband and wife, but Nicholas Tse still bears and accepts it. Unexpectedly, at the forefront, taking photos with intimacy without suspicion may not be the whole reason for the divorce, but I am afraid it has touched Xie's bottom line.

7. Wang: Expose and occupy the commanding heights of morality.

Rachel Momo: Show the most beautiful exit posture.

After Rachel Momo bumped into her boyfriend Sean and the opposite sex in a room, she immediately asked someone to help her pack, cut the gordian knot and evacuate cleanly. Neither crying nor tearing love rat's bitch, but also accepting Sean's request to keep his secret, is a textbook coping style.

9. Grace Chow: Get out of the personal atmosphere.

Grace Chow's torn Show Lo is a melon that everyone can eat this year. The most amazing thing is that she didn't deny her past with Show Lo, but she definitely cut off her future with love rat. More importantly, she stepped forward and urged other girls to keep their eyes open and stop being fooled.

10. Dong Huahua: Losing popularity also loses marriage.

In order to defend the marriage, Dong Huahua, the wife of Tmall President, shouted to San Xiao on the Weibo to keep San Xiao away from her husband. As a result, the whole internet was shocked and her husband's future was dragged down. San Xiao's shares have shrunk, but netizens said that compared with Grace Chow, it was unwise for her to be ridiculed and torn up.

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Why do they react like this?

Although everyone faces infidelity and betrayal in different ways, some people forbear, some fight back, some struggle repeatedly, some cut the gordian knot, some make high-profile exposure, some euphemistically, some support and some ridicule. ...

However, that's the best response everyone can do.

Perhaps many people will imagine how they would react if they were betrayed by their loved ones, and have seen others in the same situation, but when things really happen to them, their reactions are likely to be really different from what they imagined.

What determines how people react when they are cheated?

From the external reasons, we should consider reputation, image, interests and children. Especially for stars or public figures, couples are bound by many interests, which are closely related to image and reputation. If we don't handle it properly, we may suffer the second or even the third trauma after being betrayed.

From the internal factors, love and marriage must have had a beautiful heart, and even * * * has experienced many challenges and tests. Unwilling or unwilling to give up also affects the choice of corresponding methods.

Everyone's personality characteristics, internal patterns and sense of strength will be reflected in their coping styles, such as the courage, freedom and decisiveness of Grace Chow and Rachel Momo; Ma Yili, Tong Liya and Pan Yueming's forbearance, tolerance and courtesy: Wang He and Hua Dong Hua both chose direct exposure and gained moral support.

But by comparison, we can see whose heart is really powerful; Nicholas Tse and Jerry's coping process, in the final analysis, can still see the cherish and care for that love, until the reality completely exhausted the only hope left in their hearts.

03

Regaining control is the best way to deal with the crisis.

After eating so many melons about cheating, I found that although love and marriage are related to emotions, when there is an emotional crisis, it is related to mental maturity.

When a marriage or relationship is invaded by a foreign enemy, the instinctive reaction of ordinary people is either: I want to "trouble" him or her to go home and let the intruder "get out". It makes sense to think so, but there is a difference between passivity and initiative.

It would be useful if there were a big fight or a few reminders. People who cheat will not cheat, and intruders will not invade.

For a mature person, dealing with derailment and betrayal not only means accepting the reality of huge losses, but also means being able to take the initiative to stop losses and correct mistakes in a timely and efficient manner.

A friend of mine married a local tycoon. She said that after learning of her husband's infidelity, her feelings were: besides shock, anger, sadness, pain ... more shame and self-blame. "It's really crit! Why did I choose such a person? Am I blind? Did I do something wrong? What should I do? "

The great sense of loss broke her down. Fortunately, her mother became her anchor in one sentence: "Daughter, you didn't do anything wrong, it was him who was wrong!" "

She quickly recognized the reality, began to organize her thoughts, and then began to fight for control for herself. She said that she was surprised that the logical ability and rationality that broke out in that process seemed to be a different person.

Maybe that self is too hurt to be true, but it is particularly strong and car-scrapping because of its determination to save itself.

After a period of quarrel, she divorced her husband. The mother who saved her from danger said another word to her: "Now is the saddest time ..."

Indeed, if Wartime is still full of excitement because of the action, then the pain will really come after all the dust settles.

To really let go, the first thing to do is to mourn the past. Like Grace Chow, my friend didn't deny the good parts of her and her ex-husband's past, but gave a fair and objective judgment on what touched her and reflected on her own shortcomings. Gradually, she let go and started a new life.

She said that what really made her start over was not the result of divorce, but the strength she felt from her heart in the process of coping with being derailed and choosing to stay or stay in marriage.

Only by finding this power can we regain control of ourselves and our lives, bid farewell to the past and start over in the face of sudden emotional crisis.

I'm Pan Xingzhi, your personal emotional counselor. If you need professional help, believe me personally, I'm happy to help you through your emotional crisis?