1. Lao Luo asked in class, "What are Japanese women's hobbies?" Someone below replied: "filming! ! "Lao Luo smiled and said," Can't you think of something good? So, what are the hobbies of Japanese men? " The following chorus: "Watch a movie! ! ! "I've only met Lao Yu and the Guangdong madman who recited the dictionary. 3. What is pear shape? Hmm? Why are you looking at me? My old Luo is a standard barrel figure! ! This problem was not understood in New Oriental for many years, until you, Mr. Luo, joined New Oriental. Old teachers all told me: Lao Luo, you are really awesome! I quickly said, don't say that, I'm just standing on the shoulders of giants! My grandmother was born in Guangxu period, so don't marry a fart. 6. When the students ask Lao Yu questions, Lao Yu will tell him a short story about his own struggle, so that the students are moved to forget the questions just now. 7./kloc-Luo Yonghao, a 0/3-year-old boy, witnessed a live black man at close range for the first time in his life! 8. At this moment, I quickly took out my notebook and wrote down my will. 9. Happy sadness 10. I really envy you for meeting such a good teacher! 1 1. A real macho man who dares to look directly at the bleak life. 12. Another characteristic of a macho man is that he hides when he cries. 13. Trembling with happiness. 14. Ah, it's time for bed and two cups of coffee. 15. Two tragedies of education in China: 1. Every school has a perverted middle-aged woman as the dean; 2. Every school has a lecherous male PE teacher, who lets boys play ball as soon as class begins and leads girls to play games by themselves. 16. This is not good for girls. Noisy can be noisy, noisy can not be noisy! What's the point of tattling? 17. After I arrived in New Oriental, I discouraged many old teachers. 18. The intense life needs no explanation. 19. I swallowed a mouthful of bitter water, but in her opinion it was a mouthful of saliva. 2 1. The eyes are bloodshot, the veins on the forehead are exposed, and hair appears on the feet. 22.- Where's Lao Luo? I don't know. Don't ask. It's gone anyway. 23. It's fucking annoying not to do 1000 push-ups a day! 24. Children fight better than develop. 25. For three years, I have developed! ! ! 26. I compare my personality with theirs! ! 27. If you are not good at math, you can also be the British Prime Minister (), or you can be a writer in Taiwan Province Province (Li Ao), or you can go to Britain to write poems (Xu Gang has just contacted). Of course, the above requires a visa. That won't do. You can be a writer in China (Qian Zhongshu) and a teacher at the end (Luo Yonghao). If you can't speak a class, you can also be the principal. 28. Don't do this, or they will think you are lively. 29. Do you all like CCTV's Spring Festival Gala? Ah, why do you still keep this bad habit? ! CCTV Spring Festival Gala is not for ordinary people. But the parents have to watch, and the son can't go home. First, take some vitamin B6 (used by pregnant women to prevent vomiting), and then sit in front of the TV. One year, this happened: Ni Ping smirked and said, "Today's party highlights the theme of the party." That's right! The idea is highly consistent with ETS! If she doesn't get 2400 on the GRE, she basically fails in vocabulary! 30. Dementia mental patients are the happiest. It has reached a very deep level and is in a high state every day. And do whatever you want: you are a fool, what are you afraid of! ? You can gain weight in vain and always be in a state of fresh air. 3 1. Can you explain the misunderstanding? Never explain! There are only two things I can explain: 1 My relatives misunderstood me. If I don't explain, they will be sad. The court misunderstood me. Except for these two, I never explain. Really tough, don't explain! Shit, even people like me are misunderstood. What else can you do? 32.Caculus makes me numb. I heard that Marx was tired when he wrote Das Kapital, so he took two breaks in calculus. At that time, I buried a deep hatred for Marx. But the result is an arithmetic problem, not calculus. It turned out to be an arithmetic problem, hehe. I am the only person in Chinese mainland who didn't answer the math part of gre. I spent seven minutes reading the first question when I answered the math part, huh? I don't understand. I won't do it. Press the next question. I didn't expect the machine to prompt me to choose the answer. I am sweating. I came to the exam to get my real grades. This is wrong and good, but what if it is right? ETS never thought that there was such a strange person, and it would be very sad if it was right. I thought about it, so I stopped doing it. So I put down the whole math part. Do the following section directly. I took GRE several times and didn't answer the math part. Later, when ETS gave me the results, it asked me: By the way, can I ask why you didn't answer the math part every time? Do you have any purpose? Hey, hey, I won't tell you. I wrote to ETS: I'll tell you when the exam fee for the math part is refunded. They ignored me, and I ignored them. 33. What are pesticides for? Is to help insects do eugenics. Better and better pesticides make bugs look like little Tai Sen. Encountering a bad pesticide is like raining in Mao Mao. Even better, it's just taking a bath. Besides, these bugs are not idle when taking a shower. While washing, sing: "We are pests, we are pests!" " 34. My home is far from New Oriental, and I take a taxi at my door every day. Home is so remote, there are cars worse than Li Xia everywhere. I don't want to sit at all. One day I found a black Santana-a high-end car in our place. But when I look at the driver, I don't want to sit. He is black and thin, shriveled and short, and looks like a loser. I can't think whether I got on the bus or got on the bus. Only after I got on the bus did I find that this driver was unusual. As soon as he got on the bus, he immediately acted like a man-he kept stepping on the accelerator, only lightly stepping on it, heavily stepping on it, and never stepping on the brakes at all. Surprised to find that "Beijing is not blocked!" Whenever the red light and green light pass by, other cars have to give way. Full of guilty pleasure. The weather is really cool, and the shriveled figure has grown taller. But when he got off the bus, his eyes became timid again. 35. People are the most fucking hypocritical. You jumped off a cliff and killed yourself. When you see a person, you will be angry with him. If you go up, you will be beaten. Then you feel good and don't want to die. You hug someone and shout "benefactor!" And he jumped. The same is true of animals: the object of human torture is called benefactor. What? Help dogs. Like a bee. People worked hard for a year to make honey. Is it brewed for you? ! You went up to grab a drink, wiped your mouth and said, "Ah, little bee, you are really a hardworking elf!" " "Mama of, you bully, you bully, you sick of it. It doesn't know. If you knew, you would vomit blood. 36. When the family was poor, there were four people sitting in the room with only a bag of semi-instant noodles. I haven't eaten. Here comes another man. The four of us regret it-why don't we eat early? The man said happily, today is Thanksgiving! Damn, there's nothing to eat. How do you feel? ! He said, let's go to church! We are not religious. What church are we going to? He said, alas, there is food in the church on Thanksgiving Day. We're going crazy. So five people rode three bicycles straight to the church. When we get there, there are really sweets and biscuits. Just go in. Let's go up and have a crazy meal. Nobody cares. So I left a good memory. The following Thanksgiving, we went to a buffet again! ! ! I had a nervous breakdown. Eat like a mad dog. 37. Confucius is the most vulgar and mediocre. So it has been widely circulated. Like Lao zi Zhuangzi, it's so cool. Riding a donkey from a distance and wearing sunglasses. Walk past you. Then disappear in the distance, but you still think the sunglasses are behind him. That's so cool. What language can't express is Zen, which is the coolest. You can't realize it gradually, you can only realize it. The master is holding a stick. You ask, "What is Zen? Why haven't I realized it yet? "Master went up and hit him on the head with a stick; This just suddenly realized! How many disciples were killed at that time? Some disciples were clever and were beaten, so they said, "Oh, so that's it! ""So he went down the mountain to collect his apprentice, with a stick in his hand. The apprentice said that he didn't realize it, so he went up and hit him: then he realized it! How about a clever apprentice? You don't have to continue to wake up, and you don't have to be beaten. Just take a stick and go down the mountain to collect your apprentice. Boarding classes, punching classes, weekly classes 12, weekly classes 15...............38. When I went to boarding classes, Lao Yu was not so busy now. Go up the mountain and give a mobilization speech to each student. At that time, Lao Yu was God in our hearts. One day I heard that Lao Yu was going to give a speech at night. So they all ran to the lecture hall early. Lao Yu came after dinner, picked up the receiver and said nothing, just a loud hiccup. How inappropriate. We were all stunned at that time, looked at each other, and our faces were full of dementia and happiness, saying, what an approachable hiccup! ! ! ! 39. ezra pound was a leading figure in American literature in the 20th century. Writing poetry is not recognized in America, so I went to England to hang out. Get ahead in Britain. And then I was reckless. He cursed America and wrote: Capitalism excludes poets. America is capitalism, isn't Britain? ! The mind is extremely confused, which is the sign of a poet. Later, e.p. began to study politics. What politics does the poet study? ! And he actually supported Mussolini and joined an anti-American radio station. He is passionate about China culture and has a morbid obsession with China culture. Translate all the works of Confucius into English. Crazy about China's food, I couldn't find a Chinese restaurant in Italy, so I was furious. Without Chinese restaurants, this country would be finished! 40. kiss a person's ass to a limited extent. 4 1. Stupid instinct caught 42. Lei Feng helped 6,000 old ladies cross the street in his life. I walked up and down, thinking hard about the fate of China. Ni Ping must be involved in this problem.